--If his lordship could see them coming and going every day as I do,
said the waiter, he would also ask where do they come from? It must be
the same place, as they pass every day. I say to myself: Since they
always return they cannot have found what they want. I now wait for his
lordship to ask me: What are they looking for? and his lordship will
see what I shall reply.
Then Prometheus asked: What are they looking for?
The waiter replied: Since they do not remain where they go, it cannot
be happiness. His lordship may believe me or not, and, coming nearer,
he said in a low voice: They are looking for their personalities;--His
lordship does not live here?...
--No, said Prometheus.
--One can easily see that, said the waiter; Yes: personality; we call
it here idiosyncrasy: Like me (for example), from what you see, you
think I am just a waiter in a restaurant! Well! your lordship, no!
It is by choice; you may believe me or not: I have an inner life: I
observe. Personalities are the only interesting things; and then the
relations between personalities. It is very well arranged in this
restaurant; tables for three; I will explain the management later on.
You will dine soon, will you not? We will introduce you....
Prometheus was a little tired. The waiter continued: Yes, tables for
three, that is what I found the easiest: three gentlemen arrive; they
are introduced; they are introduced (if they wish it, of course), for
in my restaurant before dining you must give your name; then say what
you do; so much the worse if you deceive each other. Then you sit down
(not I); you talk (not I, of course)--but I put you in sympathy; I
listen; I scrutinize; I direct the conversation. At the end of dinner I
know three inner men, three personalities! They, no. I, you understand,
I listen, I bring into relation; they submit to the relationship....
You will ask me: What do you gain by this? Oh, nothing at all! It
pleases me to create relationships.... Oh! not for me!... It is what
one could call an absolutely gratuitous act.
Prometheus appeared a little tired. The waiter continued: A gratuitous
act! Does this convey nothing to you?--To me it seems extraordinary. I
thought for a long time that this was the one thing that distinguished
man from the animals--a gratuitous act. I called man an animal capable
of a gratuitous act;--and then afterwards I thought the contrary; that
man is the only being incapable of acting gratuitously;--gratuitously!
just think; without reason--yes, I hear--shall we say without motive;
incapable! then this idea began to fidget me. I said to myself:
why does he do this? why does he do that? ... and yet I am not a
determinist ... but that reminds me of an anecdote:
--I have a friend, my lord, you will hardly believe me, who he is a
miglionaire. He is also intelligent. He said to himself: A gratuitous
act? how to do it? And understand this does not only mean an act
that brings no return.... No, but gratuitous: an act that has no
motive. Do you understand? no interest, no passion, nothing. The act
disinterested; born of itself; the act without aim, thus without
master; the free act; the act Autochthon!
--Hey? said Prometheus.
--Listen well, said the waiter. My friend went out one morning, taking
with him a bank-note of £20 in an envelope and a blow prepared in his
hand.
The point was to find somebody without choosing him. So he drops his
handkerchief in the street, and, to the man who picks it up (evidently
kindly since he picked it up), the miglionaire:
--Pardon, sir, do you not know some one?
The other:--Yes, several.
The miglionaire: Then, sir, will you have the kindness to write his
name on this envelope; here is a table, pens, and a pencil....
The other, good-naturedly, writes, then:--Now, sir, will you explain
yourself...?
The miglionaire replies: It is on principle; then (I forgot to tell you
he is very strong) he strikes him with the blow he had in his hand;
then calls a cab and disappears.
Do you understand?--two gratuitous acts in one go! The bank-note of £20
sent to an address which he had not selected, and the blow given to a
person who selected himself to pick up the handkerchief. No! but is
it gratuitous enough? And the relation? I bet you have not seriously
scrutinized the relationship; for, as the act is gratuitous, it is what
we call here reversible: One receives £20 for a blow, and the other a
blow for £20 ... then.... No one knows ... one is lost--think of it! A
gratuitous act! There is nothing more demoralizing.--But my lord is
beginning to be hungry; I beg his lordship’s pardon; I forget myself, I
talk too much.... Will his lordship kindly give me his name,--so that I
can introduce him....
--Prometheus, said Prometheus simply.
--Prometheus! I was right, his lordship is a stranger here ... and his
lordship’s occupation is...?
--I do nothing, said Prometheus.
--Oh! no. No, said the waiter with an ingratiating smile.--Only to see
his lordship, one knows at once that he is a man with an occupation.
--It is so long ago, stammered Prometheus.
--Never mind, never mind, continued the waiter. Anyway, his lordship
need not be uneasy; in introducing I only say the name, if you like;
but the occupation never. Come, tell me: his lordship’s occupation
is...?
--Making matches, murmured Prometheus, blushing.
There followed a painful silence, the waiter understanding that he
should not have insisted, Prometheus feeling that he should not have
answered.
In a consoling tone: Well! after all his lordship does not make them
any more ... said the waiter. But then, what? I must write down
something, I cannot write simply: Prometheus. His lordship has perhaps
an avocation, a speciality.... After all, what can his lordship do?
--Nothing, again said Prometheus.
--Then let us say: Journalist.--Now, if his lordship will come into the
restaurant; I cannot serve dinner outside. And he cried:--A table for
three! one!...
By two doors two gentlemen entered; they could be seen giving their
names to the waiter; but the introductions not having been asked for,
without more ado the two men both sat down.
And when they had sat down: