MASON TALKS AGAIN
Not seeing Mason for some days, Sanborn took a walk one night, and
turned up about nine o'clock at his rooms. He found him sitting before
his open grate fire, smoking meditatively.
"Hello, Sanborn! Glad you came over." He did not rise, but Sanborn was
untroubled by that.
"Got another chapter turned off?"
"Possibly. Fill up and draw up."
Sanborn obediently filled a pipe and drew up a chair.
"You look tired."
"I am. I have written a column editorial on the labor question, one on
the Chinese treaty, a special article on irrigation for the Sunday
issue, not counting odd paragraphs on silver, anarchy, and other little
chores of my daily grind."
"That's not as bad as poulticing people."
"Bad! There's nothing any worse, and my novelistic friends are always
saying, 'Why don't you turn in and finish up your novel?' What can an
intellectual prostitute do?"
"Get out of the business, one would suppose."
"Well, now, that brings me to the point. In the midst of all my other
worriments, I am debating whether to marry a rich girl and escape work,
or a poor girl and work harder, or to give the whole matter of marriage
up forever."
"These are actual cases, not hypothetical, this time?"
Mason turned a slow eye upon him.
"I have no need to fly to hypothetical cases," he said, dryly. "In the
first place, my hero--if you incline tonight to that theory of the
case--my hero is equally interested in two young women. This is contrary
to the story books, but then only an occasional novelist tells the
truth. I'm to be that one."
He seemed to be going off upon some other line of thought, and Sanborn
hauled him back by asking a pertinent question:
"You mean to say both of these young ladies have that glamour?"
"O, not at all! They did have, but it has faded in both cases, as in all
previous cases, yet more seems to have remained, or else I am getting a
little less exacting. In the case of the sculptress--she's the poor
girl, of course--she's a genius. The first time I saw her she read a
paper on 'The Modern in Sculpture' (it was good, too). She was dressed
beautifully, in cheese-cloth, for all I know--I only know she put to
shame her sculptured copies of Hope and Ariadne. The glamour was around
her like rose-colored flame. It was about her still when I stepped up to
her. She was tall, and strong as a young lioness. Her clean, sweet eyes
were level with mine, and she made me ashamed of every mean thing I had
uttered in my whole life."
"Well, well!" exclaimed Sanborn.
"She was flattered and exalted to think 'the editor' was pleased with
her essay, and the rest was easy. I went to call on her a day or two
later----"
"And the glamour--the glamour?"
Mason shook his head. "Faint! She was in her study, and the hard, cold
light was merciless. She was handsome, even then, but her face had a
pinched look, and there was a heavy droop to her lips. The color so
beautiful that night when flushed with excitement had faded from her
cheeks, and gathered in some unfortunate way about her eyes and nose.
She was a fine woman, but--the glamour was gone."
"What an eye for symptoms! you should have been a physician," Sanborn
put in.
"At the same time she grew upon me. She's an artist. She has the
creative hand--no doubt of that. She has dreams, beautiful dreams of
art. She glows, and dilates, and sings with the joy of it. She could
bring into my life something of the dreams I myself had as a youth.
She's going to make a name for herself, without question."
"Why, that's glorious, Warren, old man; she's just the wife for you! And
she really inclines toward you?"
"She does." Then his self-crucifying humor came in. "That's really her
most questionable virtue. However, if Love can laugh at locksmiths, I
suppose he can laugh at a bald head. But this is only one phase of the
matter. Like all spectators, you are informed of only one side of the
banner. Let's look at the other.
"I manage to live here and support this fire, which is my only
extravagance. I keep the establishment going, and a little more. I'll
anticipate the usual arguments. Suppose, for a little while, it would
not increase expenses. It would not do to bring a woman here, it would
not be right. When children came--and I should hope for children--they
should have a home in the suburbs; I don't believe in raising children
in a flat. That would mean an establishment which would take every cent
I could hook on to, and it would mean that the whole glittering fabric
would be built upon my own personal palm."
"But she might earn something--you say she's a genius."
"She is, that's the reason she'll never make money. Holding the view I
do, I could not require her to toil. I do not believe marriage confers
any authority on the husband--you understand my position there?"
"Perfectly--and agree with it, to a limited extent, of course."
"Going back, therefore--I do not believe I can assume the risk involved.
I'm not capable of twenty years' work at my present rate. I'd break
down, some fine day, and then my little home, upheld upon my Atlas palm,
would tumble. No, I can't take the risk. I'm getting too foxy; I haven't
the bounce I once had. Besides, her career is to be considered. I don't
believe I can afford to let her marry me."
"That's mighty kind of you," Sanborn dryly remarked.
"Thank you. I think it is an error of judgment on her part. She is
younger, and as her adviser I think I must interfere and save her from
the power of a vivid imagination and abounding vitality. You see, there
are a great many considerations involved."
"Real love, I must repeat, would not consider."
"I wish you wouldn't repeat it, it does you an injustice. The animal
passion of youth would not consider. With youth, it is marry--marry,
even if within the year you are picked up by the patrol wagon, a vagrant
in the streets. The love of my time is not so heedless nor so selfish;
it extends to the question of the other party to the transaction."
"I suppose that should be so, but as a physician I doubt it. My
observations do not run that way. Age grows like a child again,
thoroughly selfish."
"Then there is the question of the 'possible woman,'" Mason resumed, and
his tone was cynically humorous again. "I can't give her up. There she
stands in a radiant mist always just before me like the rainbow of our
childhood. I can't promise any woman to love her till death. I don't
know as it would be safe to promise it even to the woman with glamour.
Another might come with a subtler glory, and a better fitting glamour,
and then--"
"What then?"
"It would all be up with the first woman," he said with a gravity of
tone of which the words gave no hint.
"I'm afraid some one has already come to make pale the beauty of the
sculptress. What about the other, the rich girl you set over against the
sculptress at the beginning? Mind you, I believe the whole situation is
fictitious, but I'll humor you in it."
"Well, Aurelia--we'll call her Aurelia--brings up a far-reaching train
of reflections, and, if you've got a patient waiting, you'd better come
again."
"I'm the only patient waiting."
Mason ignored the lame old pun and proceeded:
"Aurelia lives in Springfield. You know the kind of home the wealthy
politician builds in a western town--combination of jail and
court-house. I attended a reception there last winter and saw Aurelia
for the first time. She was as beautiful as an acrobat--"
"I don't want to interrupt, Mason, but I notice all your heroines are
beautiful."
"They must be; my taste will not permit me to tolerate unsymmetrical
heroines. I started in as an architect and I've done a little paddling
in clay, and my heroines must be harmonious of structure--glamour comes
only with beauty, to me."
"Largely physical, then."
"Certainly! I believe in the physical, the healthy, wholesome physical.
In the splendor of the tiger's wooing is no disease."
"Well, well, she was beautiful as an acrobat--"
Mason looked sour. "One more interruption, and the rest of my
heart-tragedy will remain forever alien to your ear."
Sanborn seemed alarmed:
"My lips are glued to my pipe."
Mason mused--("Composed!" Sanborn thought.)
"She looked as if she had been moulded into her gown. The Parisian robe
and the hair piled high, were fast--undeniably theatric, but her little
face was sweet and girlish, almost childish. Well, she had glamour,
largely physical as you say. But like the heroes of E. P. Roe's novels,
I aspired to awaken her soul. She was pleased with me apparently. I
called soon after the reception--I always follow up each case of
glamour. I knew she was rich but I did not realize she commanded such an
establishment.
"It was enormous. Her mother was a faded little hen of a woman, who had
been a very humble person in youth, and who continued a very humble
person in middle-life. The court-house in which she was forced to live
continually over-awed her, but the girl used it, entertained in it as if
she had a string of palace-dwelling ancestors straggling clear back to
Charlemagne."
"That's the American idea, the power of adaptation. Our women have it
better developed than--"
"She was a gracious and charming hostess, and I admit the sight of her
in command of such an establishment was impressive. I thought how easily
a tired editor could be absorbed into that institution and be at rest--a
kind of life hospital, so to say. She was interested in me--that was
certain."
"Now, Mason, I must protest. You know how high Isabel and I both hold
you, but we never quite considered you in the light of a ladies' man.
Your Springfield girl must have had dozens of brilliant and handsome
young men about her."
Mason smoked in silence, waiting till Sanborn's buzz ceased.
"Well, she came to the city last month, and I've been to see her a
number of times; the last time I saw her she proposed to me."
Sanborn stared, with fallen jaw gaping, while Mason continued in easy
flow.
"And I have the matter under consideration. I saw the coming storm in
her eyes. Last night as we sat together at the piano she turned suddenly
and faced me, very tense and very white.
"'Mr. Mason, why can't you--I mean--what do you think of me?'
"I couldn't tell her that night what I thought of her, for she had
seemed more minutely commonplace than ever. She had trotted round her
little well-worn circle of graces and accomplishments, even to playing
her favorite selection on the piano. I equivocated. I professed it was
not very easy to say what I thought of her, and added:
"'I think you're a fine, wholesome girl,' as she is, of course.
"'But you don't think I'm beautiful?' That was a woman's question,
wasn't it. 'Yes,' I said in reply, 'I think you are very attractive.
Nature has been lavish with you.'
"Then she flamed red and stammered a little:
"'Then why don't you like me?'
"'I do,' I said.
"'You know what I mean,' she hurried on to say--'I want you to like me
better than any other woman.'
"'That's impossible,' I replied. It was pitiful to see her sitting there
like a beggar in the midst of all her splendor. 'I like you very much. I
think you're very sweet and kind and girlish.'
"She seemed to react from her boldness. Her eyes filled with tears. 'I
know you think I'm _terrible_ to say these things.'
"'No. I feel that I do not deserve such trust on your part.' Then she
defended me. 'Yes, you do. I couldn't have spoken to any one else so.
You're so kind and gentle.'"
"Did she say that of you?"
"She said that."
"I wish I could reach that phase of your character," sighed Sanborn.
"What did you say in reply?"
Mason apparently showed deep feeling at last.
"I told her that I was like the average man. I was taking credit to
myself for not devouring her like a wolf! She didn't listen to that.
'What can I do to make you like me?' she asked. She leaned toward me,
her chin in her palm, thinking and suffering as her sweet little soul
had never suffered before. 'I'm too simple,' she said, with a flash of
startling insight. 'I don't know enough. I feel that. Can't I study and
change that?'
"'You're changing that now,' I replied.
"She grew radiant for a moment."
"'O you _do_ like me a little!'"
As he went on, Mason's tone grew sweet and solemn. It had singular power
of suggestion. It developed more of his nature than he knew; his real
gravity, and tenderness and purity.
"There you have it," he ended. He struck the ashes out of his pipe and
rose.
"I could marry her, but it wouldn't make her happy. It would make her
suffer. It is not a light thing to decide. It is a very grave thing. As
in the case of the sculptress I thought it an error of judgment on her
part, and on my own it would be criminal."
"That's a fine bit of fiction," said Sanborn. "You're too rough on
yourself, for you could do the girl a deal of good by marrying her."
"Possibly. In the case of the sculptress the problem is different. She
is moving past me like a queen--splendid, supple, a smile of conscious
power on her lips, the light of success in her eyes. It's a terrible
temptation, I admit, this power to stretch out my hand and stay her. It
makes my blood leap, but my sense of justice will not allow of it. I
shall let her pass on, beautiful and rapt."
"To marry some confounded pin-head, who will make her a domestic animal,
and degrade her into 'my wife, gents'?"
"Possibly. However, my responsibility ends where I say good-bye."
"Don't shirk--don't shirk."
Mason turned on him. His voice lost a little of its coldness.
"Is a man to have no credit for letting such a glorious creature pass
him, unharmed and free?"
"Why yes, certainly. But the world of art will not satisfy that girl.
She's sure to marry--she _must_ marry--and she is entitled to more
consideration. You've got to look ahead to the time when she regrets the
lack of husband and children."
"Ah, but it's a frightful thing, Sanborn, to arrest that girl, to make
her a wife and mother, to watch her grow distorted, stiffened, heavy
with child-bearing. I prefer to see her pass me, in order that I may
remember her, lithe, radiant, moving like music and light."
"That's fine, Mason, I honor you for that spirit," said Sanborn, deeply
moved. "But you must remember I am about to be married to a beautiful
woman myself, a woman who knows both sexes, knows their vices and
passions. She tells me, and it fits in with what I know myself, that the
woman's nature moves on from this beautiful state you've described so
well, into the pain and responsibility of marriage not merely willingly,
but eagerly. Half the girl's joy, which we men see in her face, is the
smile of anticipated motherhood--it must be so. Isabel, as you know, is
no sentimentalist; she's a woman you can talk these things to, freely. I
can't state it as she did, but the substance of it was this: if the girl
knew she was to be always young and childish, her youth and beauty would
be of no value to her--that it is the untried pain and pleasures of
other years and conditions which make the beauty so radiant now."
"All of which merely means she makes the best of an irresistible and
tragic impulse, a force which she does not originate and cannot control.
Therefore I say it is a sorrowful business to hew down a temple or tear
a lily in pieces."
The two men were silent again. They had reached fundamentals in their
talk. Sanborn considered the whole matter an allegory, which Mason was
using to veil his design to win Rose if possible. He knew the ease of
Mason's invention, as well as his power to present a case dramatically,
and while he was moved by the expression of his friend's noble thought,
he could not think that there was any exact truth contained in the
story.
Mason resumed a moment later:
"There are certain other material, minor and prosaic considerations
which must be kept in mind. Suppose I announce my engagement to Miss
Aurelia; the newspapers would have a pleasant paragraph or two. Some
people would say 'what a very appropriate match.' Others would say very
knowingly, 'Well, Mason has feathered his nest.' The newspaper boys who
really wish me well would say, 'Good for Mason; now he can take time to
finish that great American novel he's had on hand so long!' A few shrewd
fellows would say, 'Well, that ends Mason! He's naturally lazy, and with
a wife and home like that he'll never do another stroke of work. Mason's
like Coleridge in one thing: he dreams great things, but never writes
them. He's out of the race!'"
"There's something in that," Sanborn admitted.
"I know there is," Mason replied without offense. "Now we'll suppose I
scrape a little money together for immediate use. The old railway Baron
is kind. He tolerates me for the daughter's sake. I come in contact with
the relatives; already I have had a touch of them! A girl like that is
not like a pebble on the sea-shore; she's a thread in a web of cloth, a
silken thread in a breadth of shoddy, maybe. You can't marry her and
have her to yourself. You come into new relations with her people as her
_fiance_. They cannot be escaped. They swarm around you. They question
your motives and they comment on your person: 'He's getting bent and
bald;' 'He's lazy;' 'What did she ever see in him?' They vulgarize
everything they touch. They are as tiresome as the squeal of a pump, but
there you are, you must meet them. The old gentleman is a man who deals
in millions, reliable and conscientious. He talks to you about his
business, till you say, 'business be damned.' He thereafter meets you in
heavy silence. The mother is a timid soul, with an exaggerated idea of
your importance as an editor. The aunts and uncles variously sniff and
tremble before you."
"Meanwhile your wife has talked all she knows, and all she says
thereafter has a familiar sound. She delights in stories with many
repetitions in them. Her little brain travels from the pantry to the
table, from the tea table to the children's bath tub; its widest circuit
is the millinery store and the bargain counter. She gets fat, that's
another distressing phase of my trouble, let me say. I seem to be gifted
with a prophetic eye in the midst of my transports--"
"Think of you in a transport!"
"I am able to see just how each one will change, how this pretty
plumpness will get fat, how this delicate slimness will get bony. I see
how this beautiful alert face will get beakish. In other words I am
troubled about the future, when I should be involved only in the ecstasy
of the present. In this latest case I see excessive plumpness and
chatter in ten years. I see myself bored to death with her within ten
months. She is at her best now; in striving to win me she is like a
female bird, her plumage is at its best; she will grow dowdy when the
incentive is gone.
"There are other considerations. Aurelia, too, has exaggerated notions
of my power to earn money. She may expect me to maintain an expensive
establishment. I can't ask anything of the political pirate, her father;
I can only put my income into the treasury. If my power to earn money
decreases, as it may, then I become an object of contempt on the part of
the old savage, who considers money the measure of ability. Suppose at
last I come to the point of borrowing money, of going to the old man
humbly, twisting my hat in my hand: 'My dear sir, Aurelia and the
children'--Pah!"
He uttered a sound of disgust and anger and fell silent.
Sanborn mused, "I wonder if the lovers of any other age had any such
scruples about marriage. I guess you're right about Aurelia, but I don't
believe you are about the sculptress. I think she would make you happy."
Mason mused a moment and then went on:
"Well, now, as to that--marry her and we plunge, inside of two years,
into a squalid struggle for bread and coal and a roof. I elect myself at
once into the ranks of dray-horses, and, as I said before, I chain a
genius to the neck-yoke with me. That is also out of the question."
Sanborn sought his hat.
"Well, Mason, this has been a season of plain speaking. I'd feel pretty
bad over it if I thought it was real. When you get the whole thing
typewritten I should like to read it to Isabel and Rose."
Mason's face did not change, but he failed to look at his friend. He
said quietly:
"Isabel wouldn't read it; the girl might possibly find something in it
of value. Good night; you've listened like a martyr."
"Don't fail to write that out while it's fresh in your mind. Good
night," said Sanborn.
His last glance as he closed the door fell upon a lonely figure lying in
a low chair before the fire, and he pitied him. Mason seemed "the great
irresolute" which Isabel believed him to be; helpless to do, patient to
suffer.