P.M.
_Spurrell_ (_to himself_). I must say it's rather rough luck on that
poor devil. I get his dress suit, and all _he_ gets is my booby-trap!
(PHILLIPSON, _wearing a holland blouse over her evening toilette,
approaches from the other end of the passage; he does not recognise her
until the moment of collision_.) EMMA!! It's never _you_! How do you
come to be _here_?
_Phillipson_ (_to herself_). Then it _was_ my JEM after all! (_Aloud,
distantly._) I'm here in attendance on Lady MAISIE MULL, being her maid.
If I was at all curious--which I'm not--I might ask you what _you're_
doing in such a house as this; and in evening dress, if you please!
_Spurr._ I'm in evening dress, EMMA, such as it is (not that I've any
right to find fault with it); but I'm in evening dress (_with dignity_)
because I've been included in the dinner party here.
_Phill._ You must have been getting on since _I_ knew you. Then you were
studying to be a horse-doctor.
_Spurr._ I _have_ got on. I am now a qualified M.R.C.V.S.
_Phill._ And does that qualify you to dine with bishops and countesses
and baronets and the gentry, like one of themselves?
_Spurr._ I don't say it does, in itself. It was my _Andromeda_ that did
the trick, EMMA.
_Phill. Andromeda?_ They were talking of that downstairs. What's made
you take to scribbling, JAMES?
_Spurr._ Scribbling? how do you mean? My handwriting's easy enough to
read, as you ought to know very well.
_Phill._ You can't expect me to remember what your writing's like; it's
so long since I've seen it!
_Spurr._ Come, I like that! When I wrote twice to say I was sorry we'd
fallen out; and never got a word back!
_Phill._ If you'd written to the addresses I gave you abroad----
_Spurr._ Then you _did_ write; but none of the letters reached me. I
never even knew you'd _gone_ abroad. I wrote to the old place. And so
did you, I suppose, not knowing I'd moved my lodgings too, so
naturally---- But what does it all matter so long as we've met and it's
all right between us? Oh, my dear girl, if you only knew how I'd worried
myself, thinking you were---- Well, all that's over now, isn't it?
[_He attempts to embrace her._
_Phill._ (_repulsing him_). Not quite so fast, JAMES. Before I say
whether we're to be as we were or not, I want to know a little more
about you. You wouldn't be here like this if you hadn't done _something_
to distinguish yourself.
_Spurr._ Well, I don't say I mayn't have got a certain amount of what
they call "kudos," owing to _Andromeda_. But what difference does that
make?
_Phill._ Tell me, JAMES, is it _you_ that's been writing a pink book all
over silver cutlets?
_Spurr._ Me? Write a book--about cutlets--or anything else! EMMA, you
don't suppose I've quite come to that! _Andromeda_'s the name of my
bull-dog. I took first prize with her; there were portraits of both of
us in one of the papers. And the people here were very much taken with
the dog, and--and so they asked me to dine with them. That's how it was.
_Phill._ I should have thought, if they asked one of you to dine, it
ought to have been the bull-dog.
_Spurr._ Now what's the good of saying extravagant things of that sort?
Not that old _Drummy_ couldn't be trusted to behave anywhere!
_Phill._ Better than her master, I daresay. _I_ heard of your goings on
with some Lady RHODA or other!
_Spurr._ Oh, the girl I sat next to at dinner? Nice chatty sort of girl;
seems fond of quadrupeds----
_Phill._ Especially two-legged ones! You see I've been told all about
it!
_Spurr._ I assure you I didn't go a step beyond the most ordinary
civility. You're not going to be jealous because I promised I'd give her
a liniment for one of her dogs, are you?
_Phill._ Liniment! You always _were_ a flirt, JAMES! But I'm not
jealous. I've met a very nice-spoken young man while I've been here; he
sat next to me at supper, and paid me the most beautiful compliments,
and was most polite and attentive--though he hasn't got as far as
liniment, at present.
_Spurr._ But, EMMA, you're not going to take up with some other fellow
just when we've come together again?
_Phill._ If you call it "coming together," when I'm down in the
Housekeeper's Room, and you're up above, carrying on with ladies of
title!
_Spurr._ Do you want to drive me frantic? As if I could help being where
I am! How could I know _you_ were here?
_Phill._ At all events you know _now_, JAMES. And it's for you to choose
between your smart lady-friends and me. If you're fit company for them,
you're too grand for one of their maids.
_Spurr._ My dear girl, don't be unreasonable! I'm expected back in the
Drawing Room, and I _can't_ throw 'em over now all of a sudden without
giving offence. There's the interests of the firm to consider, and it's
not for me to take a lower place than I'm given. But it's only for a
night or two, and you don't really suppose I wouldn't rather be where
you are if I was free to choose--but I'm _not_, EMMA, that's the worst
of it!
_Phill._ Well, go back to the Drawing Room, then; don't keep Lady RHODA
waiting for her liniment on my account. I ought to be in my ladies'
rooms by this time. Only don't be surprised if, whenever you _are_ free
to choose, you find you've come back just too late--that's all!
[_She turns to leave him._
_Spurr._ (_detaining her_). EMMA, I won't let you go like this! Not
before you've told me where I can meet you again here.
_Phill._ There's no place that I know of--except the Housekeeper's Room;
and of course you couldn't descend so low as that.... JAMES, there's
somebody coming! Let go my hand--do you want to lose me my character!
[_Steps and voices are heard at the other end of the passage; she
frees herself, and escapes._
_Spurr._ (_attempting to follow_). But, EMMA, stop one---- She's
gone!... Confound it, there's the butler and a page-boy coming! It's no
use staying up here any longer. (_To himself, as he goes downstairs._)
It's downright _torture_--that's what it is! To be tied by the leg in
the Drawing-Room, doing the civil to a lot of girls I don't care a blow
about; and to know that all the time some blarneying beggar downstairs
is doing his best to rob me of my EMMA! Flesh and blood can't stand it;
and yet I'm blest if I see any way out of it without offending 'em all
round.
[_He enters the Chinese-Drawing-Room._