"I'm going to handle the negotiation," Retief said. He handed Magnan his
empty glass. "Now go sit down and work on the Image."
* * * * *
At his desk in the VIP suite aboard the orbiting Corps vessel,
Ambassador Spradley pursed his lips and looked severely at Vice-Consul
Retief.
"Further," he said, "you have displayed a complete lack of understanding
of Corps discipline, the respect due a senior agent, even the basic
courtesies. Your aggravated displays of temper, ill-timed outbursts of
violence and almost incredible arrogance in the assumption of authority
make your further retention as an officer-agent of the Diplomatic Corps
impossible. It will therefore be my unhappy duty to recommend your
immediate----"
There was a muted buzz from the communicator. The ambassador cleared his
throat.
"Well?"
"A signal from Sector HQ, Mr. Ambassador," a voice said.
"Well, read it," Spradley snapped. "Skip the preliminaries."
"Congratulations on the unprecedented success of your mission. The
articles of agreement transmitted by you embody a most favorable
resolution of the difficult Sirenian situation, and will form the basis
of continued amicable relations between the Terrestrial States and the
Yill Empire. To you and your staff, full credit is due for a job well
done. Signed, Deputy Assistant Secretary----"
Spradley cut off the voice impatiently.
He shuffled papers, eyed Retief sharply.
"Superficially, of course, an uninitiated observer might leap to the
conclusion that the--ah--results that were produced in spite of these
... ah ... irregularities justify the latter." The Ambassador smiled a
sad, wise smile. "This is far from the case," he said. "I----"
The communicator burped softly.
"Confound it!" Spradley muttered. "Yes?"
"Mr. T'Cai-Cai has arrived," the voice said. "Shall I----"
"Send him in at once." Spradley glanced at Retief. "Only a two-syllable
man, but I shall attempt to correct these false impressions, make some
amends...."
The two Terrestrials waited silently until the Yill Protocol chief
tapped at the door.
"I hope," the ambassador said, "that you will resist the impulse to take
advantage of your unusual position." He looked at the door. "Come in."
T'Cai-Cai stepped into the room, glanced at Spradley, turned to greet
Retief in voluble Yill. He rounded the desk to the ambassador's chair,
motioned him from it and sat down.
* * * * *
"I have a surprise for you, Retief," he said, in Terran. "I myself have
made use of the teaching machine you so kindly lent us."
"That's fine. T'Cai-Cai," Retief said. "I'm sure Mr. Spradley will be
interested in hearing what we have to say."
"Never mind," the Yill said. "I am here only socially." He looked around
the room.
"So plainly you decorate your chamber. But it has a certain austere
charm." He laughed a Yill laugh.
"Oh, you are a strange breed, you Terrestrials. You surprised us all.
You know, one hears such outlandish stories. I tell you in confidence,
we had expected you to be overpushes."
"Pushovers," Spradley said, tonelessly.
"Such restraint! What pleasure you gave to those of us, like myself of
course, who appreciated your grasp of protocol. Such finesse! How subtly
you appeared to ignore each overture, while neatly avoiding actual
contamination. I can tell you, there were those who thought--poor
fools--that you had no grasp of etiquette. How gratified we were, we
professionals, who could appreciate your virtuosity--when you placed
matters on a comfortable basis by spurning the cats'-meat. It was sheer
pleasure then, waiting, to see what form your compliment would take."
The Yill offered orange cigars, stuffed one in his nostril.
"I confess even I had not hoped that you would honor our Admirable so
signally. Oh, it is a pleasure to deal with fellow professionals, who
understand the meaning of protocol!"
Ambassador Spradley made a choking sound.
"This fellow has caught a chill," T'Cai-Cai said. He eyed Spradley
dubiously. "Step back, my man. I am highly susceptible.
"There is one bit of business I shall take pleasure in attending to, my
dear Retief," T'Cai-Cai went on. He drew a large paper from his
reticule. "The Admirable is determined than none other than yourself
shall be accredited here. I have here my government's exequatur
confirming you as Terrestrial consul-general to Yill. We shall look
forward to your prompt return."
Retief looked at Spradley.
"I'm sure the Corps will agree," he said.
"Then I shall be going," T'Cai-Cai said. He stood up. "Hurry back to us,
Retief. There is much that I would show you of Yill."
"I'll hurry," Retief said and, with a Yill wink: "Together we shall see
many high and splendid things!"