From _Saturday, July 2_, to _Tuesday, July 5_, 1709.
* * * * *
White's Chocolate-house, July 2.
It may be thought very unaccountable, that I,[372] who can never be
supposed to go to White's, should pretend to talk to you of matters
proper for, or in the style of, that place. But though I do not go to
these public haunts, I receive visits from those who do; and for all
they pretend so much to the contrary, they are as talkative as our sex,
and as much at a loss to entertain the present company, without
sacrificing the last, as we ourselves. This reflection has led me into
the consideration of the use of speech; and made me look over in my
memory all my acquaintance of both sexes, to know to which I may more
justly impute the sin of superfluous discourse, with regard to
conversation, and not entering into it as it respects religion. I
foresee my acquaintance will immediately, upon starting this subject,
ask me, how I shall celebrate Mrs. Alse Copswood,[373] the Yorkshire
huntress, who is come to town lately, and moves as if she were on her
nag, and going to take a five-bar gate; and is as loud as if she were
following her dogs. I can easily answer that; for she is as soft as
Damon, in comparison of her brother-in-law Tom Bellfrey,[374] who is the
most accomplished man in this kingdom for all gentlemanlike activities
and accomplishments. It is allowed, that he is a professed enemy to the
Italian performers in music. But then for our own native manner,
according to the customs and known usages of our island, he is to be
preferred, for the generality of the pleasure he bestows, much above
those fellows,[375] though they sing to full theatres. For what is a
theatrical voice to that of a fox-hunter? I have been at a musical
entertainment in an open field, where it amazed me to hear to what
pitches the chief masters would reach. There was a meeting near our seat
in Staffordshire, and the most eminent of all the counties of England
were at it. How wonderful was the harmony between men and dogs! Robin
Cartail of Bucks was to answer to Jowler; Mr. Tinbreast of Cornwall was
appointed to open with Sweetlips, and Beau Slimber, a Londoner,
undertook to keep up with Trips, a whelp just set in: Tom Bellfrey and
Ringwood were coupled together, to fill the cry on all occasions, and be
in at the death of the fox, hare, or stag; for which both the dog and
the man were excellently suited, and loved one another, and were as much
together as Banister and King. When Jowler first alarmed the field,
Cartail repeated every note; Sweetlips' treble succeeded, and shook the
wood; Tinbreast echoed a quarter of a mile beyond it. We were soon after
all at a loss, till we rid up, and found Trips and Slimber at a default
in half-notes: but the day and the tune was recovered by Tom Bellfrey
and Ringwood, to the great joy of us all, though they drowned every
other voice: for Bellfrey carries a note four furlongs, three rood, and
six paces, farther than any other in England. But I fear the mention of
this will be thought a digression from my purpose about speech: but I
answer, No. Since this is used where speech rather should be employed,
it may come into consideration in the same chapter: for Mr. Bellfrey
being at a visit where I was, viz., his cousin's (Lady Dainty's) in
Soho, was asked, what entertainments they had in the country? Now
Bellfrey is very ignorant, and much a clown; but confident withal. In a
word, he struck up a fox-chase: Lady Dainty's dog, Mr. Sippet, as she
calls him, started and jumped out of his lady's lap, and fell a barking.
Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbouring parishes into the
square. Never was woman in such confusion as that delicate lady. But
there was no stopping her kinsman. A room full of ladies fell into the
most violent laughter: my lady looked as if she was shrieking; Mr.
Sippet in the middle of the room, breaking his heart with barking, but
all of us unheard. As soon as Bellfrey became silent, up gets my lady,
and takes him by the arm to lead him off: Bellfrey was in his boots. As
she was hurrying him away, his spurs takes hold of her petticoat; his
whip throws down a cabinet of china: he cries, "What! are your crocks
rotten? Are your petticoats ragged? A man can't walk in your house for
trincums." Every county of Great Britain has one hundred or more of this
sort of fellows, who roar instead of speaking. Therefore if it be true,
that we women are also given to greater fluency of words than is
necessary, sure one that disturbs but a room or a family is more to be
tolerated, than one who draws together parishes and counties, and
sometimes (with an estate that might make him the blessing and ornament
of the world around him) has no other view and ambition, but to be an
animal above dogs and horses, without the relish of any one enjoyment,
which is peculiar to the faculties of human nature. But I know it will
here be said, that talking of mere country squires at this rate, is, as
it were, to write against Valentine or Orson. To prove anything against
the race of men, you must take them as they are adorned with education,
as they live in Courts, or have received instructions in colleges.
But I was so full of my late entertainment by Mr. Bellfrey, that I must
defer pursuing this subject to another day; and waive the proper
observations upon the different offenders in this kind, some by profound
eloquence, on small occasions, others by degrading speech upon great
circumstances. Expect therefore to hear of the whisperer without
business, the laugher without wit, the complainer without receiving
injuries, and a very large crowd, which I shall not forestall, who are
common (though not commonly observed) impertinents, whose tongues are
too voluble for their brains, and are the general despisers of us women,
though we have their superiors, the men of sense, for our servants.[376]
St. James's Coffee-house, July 4.
There has arrived no mail since our last; so that we have no manner of
foreign news, except we were to give you, for such, the many
speculations which are on foot concerning what was imported by the last
advices. There are, it seems, sixty battalions and seventeen squadrons
appointed to serve in the siege of Tournay; the garrison of which place
consists but of eleven battalions and four squadrons. Letters of the
29th of the last month from Berlin have brought advice, that the Kings
of Denmark, Prussia, and his Majesty Augustus, were within few days to
come to an interview at Potsdam. These letters mention, that two Polish
princes of the family of the Sapicha and Lubermirsky, lately arrived
from Paris, confirm the reports of the misery in France for want of
provisions, and give a particular instance of it, which is, that on the
day Monsieur Rouillé returned to Court, the common people gathered in
crowds about the Dauphin's coach, crying, "Peace and bread, bread and
peace."
Mrs. Distaff has taken upon her, while she writes this paper, to turn
her thoughts wholly to the service of her own sex, and to propose
remedies against the greatest vexations attending female life. She has
for this end written a small treatise concerning the second word, with
an appendix on the use of a reply, very useful to all such as are
married to persons either ill-bred or ill-natured. There is in this
tract a digression for the use of virgins concerning the words, "I
will."
A gentlewoman who has a very delicate ear, wants a maid who can whisper,
and help her in the government of her family. If the said servant can
clear-starch, lisp, and tread softly, she shall have suitable
encouragement in her wages.
[Footnote 371: See note to No. 36.]
[Footnote 372: Jenny Distaff.]
[Footnote 373: The Jacobite Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sharpe, who
died in 1713. See _Examiner_, vol. iv. No. 22.]
[Footnote 374: Dr. Blackall (1654-1716), who was made Bishop of Exeter
in 1708.]
[Footnote 375: The French Prophets, from the Cevennes. Dr. Blackall's
sermon against them was printed by order of the Queen.]
[Footnote 376: The following article appeared only in the folio issue:--
Will's Coffee-house, July 3.
A very ingenious gentleman was complaining this evening, that the
players are grown so severe critics, that they would not take in his
play, though it has as many fine things in it as any play that has been
writ since the days of Dryden. He began his discourse about his play
with a preface.
"There is," said he, "somewhat (however we palliate it) in the very
frame and make of us, that subjects our minds to chagrin and
irresolution on any emergency of time or place. The difficulty grows on
our sickened imagination, under all the killing circumstances of danger
and disappointment. This we see, not only in the men of retirement and
fancy, but in the characters of the men of action; with this only
difference, the coward sees the danger, and sickens under it; the hero,
warmed by the difficulty, dilates, and rises in proportion to that, and
in some sort makes use of his very fears to disarm it. A remarkable
instance of this we have in the great Cæsar, when he came to the
Rubicon, and was entering upon a part, perhaps, the most hazardous he
ever bore (certainly the most ungrateful), a war with his countrymen.
When his mind brooded over personal affronts, perhaps his anger burned
with a desire of revenge. But when more serious reflections laid before
him the hazard of the enterprise, with the dismal consequences which
were likely to attend it, aggravated by a special circumstance, What
figure it would bear in the world, or how be excused to posterity. What
shall he do?--His honour, which was his religion, bids him arm; and he
sounds the inclinations of his party, by this set speech:
#_CÆSAR_ to his Party at the Rubicon.#
Great Jove, attend, and thou my native soil,
Safe in my triumphs, glutted in my spoil;
Witness with what reluctance I oppose
My arms to thine, secure of other foes.
What passive breast can bear disgrace like mine?
Traitor!--For this I conquered on the Rhine,
Endured their ten years' drudgery in Gaul,
Adjourned their fate, and saved the Capitol.
I grew by every guilty triumph less;
The crowd, when drunk with joy, their souls express,
Impatient of the war, yet fear success.
Brave actions dazzle with too bright a ray,
Like birds obscene they chatter at the day;
Giddy with rule, and valiant in debate,
They throw the die of war, to save the state;
And gods! to gild ingratitude with fame,
Assume the patriot's, we the rebel's name.
Farewell, my friends, your general forlorn,
To your bare pity, and the public scorn,
Must lay that honour and his laurel down,
To serve the vain caprices of the gown;
Exposed to all indignities, the brave
Deserve of those they gloried but to save,
To rods and axes!--No, the slaves can't dare
Play with my grief, and tempt my last despair.
This shall the honours which it won maintain,
Or do me justice, ere I hug my chain."
The reason for cancelling this article when these papers were
republished in octavo, is obvious; for, being printed by Steele, it
would naturally be applied to the circumstances in which the Duke of
Marlborough was at that time: "The Duke having his commission under the
Great Seal, the order of the Queen was not sufficient to dissolve his
power. His friends advised him to assemble, by his authority as general,
all the troops in London, in the different squares, and to take
possession of St. James's, and the person of the Queen. Oxford, apprised
of this design, suddenly called together the Cabinet Council. Though he
probably concealed his intelligence to prevent their fears, he told them
of the necessity of superseding Marlborough under the Great Seal. This
business was soon despatched. His dismission in form was sent to the
Duke. The Earl of Oxford, no stranger to the character of Marlborough,
knew that he would not act against law, by assembling the troops. The
natural diffidence of his disposition had made him unfit for enterprises
of danger, in a degree that furnished his enemies with insinuations
against his personal courage."--(Macpherson's "State Papers," quoted by
Nichols.)]