The excellent woman, who had been my more than mother, took infinite
pains to cure the foibles, which, like pernicious weeds, entangled
themselves with, and sometimes threatened to choak, the embryo blossoms
of my expanding mind. Ah! with what pleasure do I recall her beloved
idea to my memory! Fostered by her maternal love, and guided by her mild
reason, how placid, and how sweet, were my early days!--Why, my first,
my tenderest friend, did I lose you at that critical period of life,
when the harmless sports and occupations of childhood gave place to the
pursuits, the passions and the errors of youth?--With the eloquence of
affection, with gentle, yet impressive persuasion, thou mightest have
checked the wild career of energetic feeling, which thou hast so often
remarked with hope and terror.
As I entered my eighteenth year, I lost, by a premature death, this
tender monitor. Never shall I forget her last emphatic, affectionate,
caution.
'Beware, my dear Emma,' said this revered friend, 'beware of
strengthening, by indulgence, those ardent and impetuous sensations,
which, while they promise vigour of mind, fill me with apprehension
for the virtue, for the happiness of my child. I wish not that the
canker-worm, Distrust, should blast the fair fruit of your ripening
virtues. The world contains many benevolent, many disinterested,
spirits; but civilization is yet distempered and imperfect; the
inequalities of society, by fostering artificial wants, and provoking
jealous competitions, have generated selfish and hostile passions.
Nature has been vainly provident for her offspring, while man, with
mistaken avidity, grasping more than he has powers to enjoy, preys on
his fellow man:--departing from simple virtues, and simple pleasures,
in their stead, by common consent, has a wretched semblance been
substituted. Endeavour to contract your wants, and aspire only to
a rational independence; by exercising your faculties, still the
importunate suggestions of your sensibility; preserve your sincerity,
cherish the ingenuous warmth of unsophisticated feeling, but let
discernment precede confidence. I tremble even for the excess of those
virtues which I have laboured to cultivate in your lively and docile
mind. If I could form a wish for longer life, it is only for my children,
and that I might be to my Emma instead of reason, till her own stronger
mind matures. I dread, lest the illusions of imagination should
render those powers, which would give force to truth and virtue, the
auxiliaries of passion. Learn to distinguish, with accuracy, the good
and ill qualities of those with whom you may mingle: while you abhor the
latter, separate the being from his errors; and while you revere the
former, the moment that your reverence becomes personal, that moment,
suspect that your judgment is in danger of becoming the dupe of your
affections.'
Would to God that I had impressed upon my mind--that I had recalled to
my remembrance more frequently--a lesson so important to a disposition
like mine!--a continual victim to the enthusiasm of my feelings;
incapable of approving, or disapproving, with moderation--the most
poignant sufferings, even the study of mankind, have been insufficient
to dissolve the powerful enchantment, to disentangle the close-twisted
associations!--But I check this train of overwhelming reflection, that
is every moment on the point of breaking the thread of my narration, and
obtruding itself to my pen.