Transcribed from the 1850's Thomas Allman and Son edition by David Price,
email ccx074@pglaf.org
[Picture: Bampfylde Disguised with Children]
THE SURPRISING
ADVENTURES
OF
BAMPFYLDE MOORE CAREW,
KING OF THE BEGGARS;
CONTAINING
HIS LIFE,
A Dictionary of the Cant Language,
AND MANY
ENTERTAINING PARTICULARS
OF
THAT EXTRAORDINARY MAN.
[Picture: Bampfylde Frightening the Bellman]
LONDON:
THOMAS ALLMAN AND SON.
W. WALKER AND SON, OTLEY.
THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF BAMPFYLDE MOORE CAREW.
Mr. Bampfylde Moore Carew was descended from the ancient family of the
Carews, son of the Reverend Mr. Theodore Carew, of the parish of
Brickley, near Tiverton, in the county of Devon; of which parish he was
many years a rector, very much esteemed while living, and at his death
universally lamented. Mr. Carew was born in the month of July 1693; and
never was there known a more splendid attendance of ladies and gentlemen
of the first rank and quality at any baptism in the west of England, than
at his: the Hon. Hugh Bampfylde, Esq., who afterwards died of an
unfortunate fall from his horse, and the Hon. Major Moore, were both his
illustrious godfathers, both of whose names he bears; who sometime
contending who should be the president, doubtless presaging the honour
that should redound to them from the future actions of our hero, the
affair was determined by throwing up a piece of money, which was won by
Mr. Bampfylde; who upon this account presented a large piece of plate,
whereon was engraved, in large letters,
BAMPFYLDE MOORE CAREW.
The reverend Mr. Carew had several other children, both sons and
daughters, besides Mr. Carew, all of whom he educated in a tender and
pious manner; and Mr. Carew was at the age of twelve sent to Tiverton
school, where he contracted an intimate acquaintance with some young
gentlemen of the first rank in Somersetshire, Devonshire, Cornwall, and
Dorsetshire.
The desire of the reader to be informed of the person of the hero of whom
they are reading is so natural, we should be guilty of a great neglect,
were we to omit satisfying our readers in this respect, more particularly
as we can, without making use of a figure in rhetoric, (which is of very
great service to many authors,) called amplification; or, in plain
English, enlarging, present our readers with a very amiable picture.
The stature of our hero was tall and majestic, his limbs strong and
well-proportioned, his features regular, his countenance open and
ingenuous, bearing all those characteristical marks which physiognomists
assert denote an honest and good-natured mind.
During the first four years of his continuance at Tiverton school, his
close application to, and delight in his studies, gave his friends great
hopes that he might one day make a good figure in that honourable
profession which his father became so well, for many years, and for which
he was designed.
He attained, for his age, a very considerable knowledge in the Latin and
Greek tongues; but soon a new exercise or accomplishment engaged all his
attention; this was that of hunting, in which our hero soon made a
surprising progress; for, besides that agility of limb and courage
requisite for leaping over five-barred gates, &c., our hero, by
indefatigable study and application, added to it a remarkable cheering
halloo to the dogs, of very great service to the exercise, and which, we
believe, was peculiar to himself; and, besides this, found out a secret,
hitherto known but to himself, of enticing any dog whatever to follow
him.
The Tiverton scholars had at this time the command of a fine cry of
hounds, whereby Mr. Carew had frequent opportunity of gratifying his
inclinations in that diversion. It was then that he entered into a very
strict friendship and familiarity with John Martin, Thomas Coleman, John
Escott, and other young gentlemen of the best rank and fortune.
The wise Spaniards have a proverb, Tell me who you are with, and I will
tell you what you are; and we ourselves say, Birds of a feather flock
together. It is generally allowed that proverbs are built upon
experience, and contain great truths; and though at this time very young,
he contracted no acquaintance, and kept no company, but with young
gentlemen of birth and fortune, who were rather superior to himself than
beneath him.
It happened that a farmer, living in a county adjacent to Tiverton, who
was a great sportsman, and used to hunt with the Tiverton scholars, came
and acquainted them of a fine deer, which he had seen with a collar about
his neck, in the fields about his farm, which he supposed to be the
favourite deer of some gentleman not far off; this was very agreeable
news to the Tiverton scholars, who, with Mr. Carew, John Martin, Thomas
Coleman, and John Escott, at their head, went in a great body to hunt it;
this happened a short time before the harvest. The chase was very hot,
and lasted several hours, and they ran the deer many miles, which did a
great deal of damage to the fields of corn that were then almost ripe.
Upon the death of the deer and examination of the collar, it was found to
belong to Colonel Nutcombe, of the parish of Clayhanger.
Those farmers and gentlemen that sustained the greatest damage came to
Tiverton, and complained heavily to Mr. Rayner, the schoolmaster, of the
havock made in their fields, which occasioned strict enquiry to be made
concerning the ringleaders, who, proving to be our hero and his
companions, they were so severely threatened, that, for fear, they
absented themselves from school; and the next day, happening to go in the
evening to Brick-house, an alehouse, about half a mile from Tiverton,
they accidentally fell into company with a society of gipseys, who were
there feasting and carousing. This society consisted of seventeen or
eighteen persons of both sexes, who that day met there with a full
purpose of merriment and jollity; and after a plentiful meal upon fowls,
and other dainty dishes, the flowing cups of October, and cider, went
most cheerfully round, and merry songs and country dances crowned the
jovial banquet; in short, so great an air of freedom, mirth, and
pleasure, appeared in this society, that our youngsters from that time
conceived a sudden inclination to enlist into their company; which, when
they communicated to the gipseys, they, considering their appearance,
behaviour, and education, regarded as only spoke in jest; but as they
tarried there all night in their company, and continued in the same
resolution the next morning, they were at length induced to believe them
to be serious, and accordingly encouraged them, and admitted them into
their number; the requisite ceremonials being first gone through, and the
proper oaths administered.
The reader may perhaps be surprised at the mention of oaths administered,
and ceremonials used, at the entrance of these young gentlemen; but his
surprise will lessen when we inform him, that these people are subject to
a form of government and laws peculiar to themselves, and though they
have no written laws, by which means they avoid all perplexity with
lawyers, yet they pay obedience to one who is styled their king; to which
great honour we shall hereafter see our hero arrive, having first proved
himself worthy of it, by a great number of necessary achievements.
There are, perhaps, no people so completely happy as they are, or enjoy
so great a share of liberty. The king is elective by the whole people,
but none are allowed to stand as candidates for that honour, but such as
have been long in their society, and perfectly studied the nature and
institution of it; they must likewise have given repeated proofs of their
personal wisdom, courage and capacity; this is the better known, as they
always keep a public record or register of all remarkable (either good or
bad) actions performed by any of the society; and they can have no
temptation to make choice of any but the most worthy, as their king has
no titles or lucrative employments to bestow, which might influence or
corrupt their judgment.
The only advantage the king enjoys is, that he is constantly supplied
with whatever is necessary for his maintenance, from the contributions of
his people; whilst he, in return, directs all his care to the defending
and protecting his people from their enemies, in contriving and planning
whatever is most likely to promote their welfare and happiness, in seeing
a due regard paid to their laws, in registering their memorable actions,
and making a due report of all these things at their general assemblies;
so that, perhaps, at this time, it is amongst these people only that the
office of a king is the same as it was at its first institution;--viz. a
father and protector of his people.
The laws of these people are few and simple, but most exactly and
punctually observed; the fundamental of which is, that strong love and
mutual regard for each member in particular, and for the whole community
in general, which is inculcated into them from their earliest infancy; so
that this whole community is connected by stronger bands of love and
harmony, than oftentimes subsist even in private families under other
governments; this naturally prevents all oppressions, fraud, and
over-reachings of one another, so common amongst other people, and
totally extinguishes that bitter passion of the mind (the source,
perhaps, of most of the other vices) envy; for it is a great and certain
truth, that Love worketh no evil.
Their general meetings at stated times, which all are obliged to be
present at, is a very strong cement of their love, and indeed of all
their other virtues; for, as the general register of their actions, which
we have before spoken of, is read at these meetings, those who have
deserved well of the community, are honoured by some token or distinction
in the sight of all the rest; and those who have done any thing against
their fundamental laws, have some mark of ignominy put upon them; for
they have no high sense of pecuniary rewards, and they think the
punishing of the body of little service towards amending the mind.
Experience has shown them, that, by keeping up this nice sense of honour
and shame, they are always enabled to keep their community in better
order than the most severe corporeal punishments have been able to effect
in other governments.
But what has still more tended to preserve their happiness is, that they
know no other use of riches than the enjoyment of them; but, as the word
is liable to be misconstrued by many of our readers, we think it
necessary to inform them, we do not mean by it that sordid enjoyment
which the miser feels when he bolts up his money in a well-secured iron
chest, or that delicious pleasure he is sensible of when he counts over
his hoarded stores, and finds they are increased with a half-guinea, or
even a half-crown; nor do we mean that enjoyment which the well-known Mr.
K---, {12} the man-eater, feels when he draws out his money from his
bags, to discount the good bills of some honest but distressed tradesman
at fifteen or twenty per cent.
The people we are speaking of are happily ignorant of such enjoyment of
money, for they know no other use of it than that of promoting mirth and
good humour; for which end they generously bring their gains into a
common stock, whereby they whose gains are small have an equal enjoyment
with those whose profits are larger, excepting only that a mark of
ignominy is affixed on those who do not contribute to the common stock
proportionably to their abilities, and the opportunities they have of
gain; and this is the source of their uninterrupted happiness; for by
this means they have no griping usurer to grind them, lordly possessor to
trample on them, nor any envyings to torment them; they have no settled
habitations, but, like the Scythians of old, remove from place to place,
as often as their conveniency or pleasure requires it, which renders
their life a perpetual scene of the greatest variety.
By what we have said above, and much more that we could add, of the
happiness of these people, and of their peculiar attachment to each
other, we may account for what has been matter of much surprise to the
friends of our hero, viz., his strong attachment, for the space of above
forty years, to this community, and his refusing the large offers that
have been made to quit their society.--But to return to our history.
Thus was Mr. Carew initiated into the mysteries of a society, which, for
antiquity, need give place to none, as is evident from the name, as well
as their origin, which they derive from the Egyptians, one of the most
ancient and learned people in the world, and that they were persons of
more than common learning, who travelled to communicate their knowledge
to mankind. Whether the divine Homer himself might not have been of this
society, will admit of a doubt, as there is much uncertainty about his
birth and education, though nothing is more certain than that he
travelled from place to place.
Mr. Carew did not continue long in it before he was consulted in
important matters: particularly Madam Musgrove, of Monkton, near Taunton,
hearing of his fame, sent for him to consult in an affair of difficulty.
When he came, she informed him, that she suspected a large quantity of
money was buried somewhere about her house, and if he would acquaint her
with the particular place, she would handsomely reward him.
Our hero consulted the secrets of his art upon this occasion, and after
long toil and study informed the lady, that under a laurel-tree in the
garden lay the treasure she anxiously sought for; but that her planet of
good fortune did not reign till such a day and hour, till which time she
should desist from searching for it; the good lady rewarded him very
generously with twenty guineas for his discovery. We cannot tell whether
at this time our hero was sufficiently initiated in the art, or whether
the lady mistook her lucky hour, but the strict regard we pay to truth
obliges us to confess, that the lady dug below the roots of the
laurel-tree without finding the hidden treasure.
When he was further initiated in the art, he was consulted upon several
important matters, and generally gave satisfaction by his sagacious
answers. In the meantime, his worthy parents sorrowed for him as one
that was no more, not being able to get the least tidings of him, though
they publicly advertised him, and sent messengers after him in every
direction; till, at the expiration of a year and a half, our hero having
repeated accounts of the sorrow and trouble his parents were in upon his
account, his heart melted with tenderness, and he repaired to his
father's house, at Brickley, in Devonshire. As he was much disguised,
both in habit and countenance, he was not at first known by his parents;
but when he discovered himself, joy gushed out in full streams, stopping
the power of speech; but the warm tears they bedewed his cheeks with,
whilst they imprinted them with kisses, performed the office of the
tongue with more expressive eloquence; but the good heart and tender
parent will feel this much better than we can describe. The whole
neighbourhood, partook of this joy; and there was nothing for some time
but ringing of bells, with public feasting, and other marks of festive
joy.
Mr. Carew's parents did every thing possible to render home agreeable to
him; every day he was engaged in some party of pleasure or other, and all
his friends strove who should entertain him, so that there seemed nothing
wanting to his happiness. But the uncommon pleasure that he had enjoyed
in the community he had left, the freedom of their government, the
simplicity and sincerity of their manners, the frequent changes of their
habitation, the perpetual mirth and good humour that reigned amongst
them, and perhaps some secret presages of that high honour which he has
since arrived at; all these made too deep an impression to be effaced by
any other ideas; his pleasure therefore grew every day more and more
tasteless, and he relished none of those entertainments which his friends
daily provided for him.
For some time these unsatisfied longings after the community of gipseys
preyed upon his mind, his heart being too good to think of leaving his
fond parents again, without reluctance. Long did filial piety and his
inclinations struggle for the victory; at length the last prevailed, but
not till his health had visibly suffered by these inward commotions. One
day, therefore, without taking leave of any of his friends, he directed
his steps towards Brick-house, at Tiverton, where he had at first entered
into the community of the gipseys; and finding some of them there, he
joined their company, to the great satisfaction of them, as well as of
himself; they rejoiced greatly at having regained one who was likely to
be so useful a member to their community.
We are now entering into the busy part of our hero's life, where we shall
find him acting in various characters, and performing all with propriety,
dignity, and decorum.--We shall, therefore, rather choose to account for
some of the actions of our hero, by desiring the reader to keep in mind
the principles of the government of the mendicants, which are, like those
of the Algerines, and other states of Barbary, in a perpetual state of
hostility with most other people; so that whatsoever stratagems or
deceits they can over-reach them by, are not only allowed by their laws,
but considered as commendable and praise-worthy; and, as the Algerines
are looked upon as a very honest people by those who are in alliance with
them, though they plunder the rest of mankind; and as most other
governments have thought that they might very honestly attack any weak
neighbouring state, whenever it was convenient for them, and murder forty
or fifty thousand of the human species; we hope, to the unprejudiced eye
of reason, the government of the gipseys in general, and our hero as a
member of it, will not appear in so disadvantageous a light, for
exercising a few stratagems to over-reach their enemies, especially when
it is considered they never, like other states, do any harm to the
persons of their enemies, and nothing considerable to their fortunes.
Our hero being again admitted at the first general assembly of the
gipseys, and having taken the proper oaths of allegiance to the
sovereign, was soon after sent out by him on a cruise upon their enemies.
Our hero's wit was now set to work, by what stratagems he might best
succeed. The first that occurred to his thoughts was that of equipping
himself with an old pair of trowsers, enough of a jacket to cover his
nakedness, stockings such as nature gave, shoes (or rather the body of
shoes, for soles they had none) which had leaks enough to sink a first
rate man of war, and a woollen cap, so black that one might more safely
swear it had not been washed since Noah's flood, than any electors can
that they receive no bribes. Being thus attired, our hero changed his
manners with his dress; he forgot entirely his family, education, and
politeness, and became neither more nor less than an unfortunate
shipwrecked seaman.
Here, if we may be allowed to compare great things with small, we could
wish that all orders of men were strict imitators of our hero; we mean
that they would put on the characteristics and qualifications of their
employment, at the same time they invest themselves with the ensigns of
it; that the divine, when he puts on his sacred and venerable habit,
would clothe himself with piety, goodness, gentleness, long-suffering,
charity, temperance, contempt of filthy lucre, and other godlike
qualifications of his office; that the judge, at the time he puts on his
ermined robes, would put on righteousness and equity as an upper garment,
with an integrity of mind more white and spotless than the fairest
ermine; that the grave physician, when he puts on his large perriwig,
would put under it the knowledge of the human frame, of the virtues and
effects of his medicines, of the signs and nature of diseases, with the
most approved and experienced forms of cure; that the mechanic, when he
puts on his leather or woollen apron, put on diligence, frugality,
temperance, modesty, and good nature; and that kings themselves, when the
crown, which is adorned with pearls and many precious stones, is put on
their heads, would put on at the same time the more inestimable gems of
all the precious virtues; that they would remember at times, they were
invested with the dalmatica at their coronation, only as an emblem of the
ornament of a good life and holy actions; that the rod they received was
the rod of virtue and equity, to encourage and make much of the godly,
and to terrify the wicked; to show the way to those that go astray, and
to offer the hand to those that fall; to repress the proud, and to lift
up the lowly; and the sword they were girt with, was to protect the
liberties of their people, to defend and help widows and orphans, restore
the things which have gone to decay, maintain those which are restored,
and confirm things that are in good order.
As to our hero, he so fully put on the character of a shipwrecked seaman,
that in his first excursion he gained a very considerable booty, having
likewise ingeniously imitated the passes and certificates that were
necessary for him to travel with unmolested.
After about a month's travel, he accidentally, at Kingsbridge, in
Devonshire, met with Coleman, his late school-fellow, one of those who
entered with him into the community, as before related, but had, after a
year and a half's sojourn, left them and returned to his friends:
however, not finding that satisfaction among them as with the gipseys, he
had again joined that people--great was the joy, therefore, of these two
friends at their meeting, and they soon agreed to travel together for
some time; and accordingly proceeded to Totness, from thence to the city
of Exeter, where they raised a contribution in one day amounting to
several pounds.
Having obtained all he could desire from this stratagem, his fruitful
invention soon hinted another. He now became the plain honest country
farmer, who, living in the Isle of Sheppy, in Kent, had the misfortune to
have his grounds overflowed, and all his cattle drowned. His habit was
now neat but rustic; his air and behaviour simple and inoffensive; his
speech in the Kentish dialect; his countenance dejected; his tale
pitiful--wondrous pitiful; a wife and seven helpless infants being
partakers of his misfortunes; so that if his former stratagem answered
his wishes, this did still more so, he now getting seldom less than a
guinea a day.
Having raised a considerable booty by these two stratagems, he made the
best of his way towards Straton, in Devonshire, where was soon to be held
a general assembly of the gipseys: here he was received with great
applause, on account of the successful stratagems he had executed, and he
had an honourable mark of distinction bestowed upon him, being seated
near the king.
Though our hero, by means of these stratagems, abounded with all the
pleasures he could desire, yet he began now to reflect with himself on
that grand and noble maxim of life, that we are not born for ourselves
only, but indebted to all mankind, to be of as great use and service to
them, as our capacities and abilities will enable us to be; he,
therefore, gave a handsome gratuity to a famous rat-catcher (who assumed
the honour of being rat-catcher to the king,) to be initiated into that,
and the still more useful secret of curing madness in dogs or cattle.
Our hero, by his close application, soon attained so considerable a
knowledge in his profession, that he practised with much success and
applause, to the great advantage of the public in general, not confining
the good effects of his knowledge to his own community only, but
extending them universally to all sorts of people, wheresoever they were
wanted; for though we have before observed that the mendicants are in a
constant state of hostility with all other people, and Mr. Carew was as
alert as any one in laying all manner of schemes and stratagems to carry
off a booty from them; yet he thought, as a member of the grand society
of human kind, he was obliged to do them all the good in his power, when
it was not opposite to the interest of that particular community of which
he was a member.
Mr. Carew's invention being never at a loss, he now formed a new
stratagem; to execute which, he exchanged his habit, shirt, &c., for only
an old blanket; shoes and stockings he laid aside, because they did not
suit his present purpose. Being thus accoutred, or rather unaccoutred,
he was now no more than Poor Mad Tom, whom the foul fiend had led through
fire and through flame, through ford and whirlpool, over bog and
quagmire, that hath laid knives under his pillow, and halters in his pew,
set ratsbane by his porridge, made him proud at heart to ride on a bay
trotting horse over four-inch bridges, to curse his own shadow for a
traitor; who eats the swimming frog, the toad, the tadpole, the
wall-newt, and the water-newt; that in the fury of his heart, when the
foul fiend rages, swallows the old rat and ditch dog, drinks the green
mantle off the standing pool;
And mice and rats, and such small gear,
Have been Tom's food for seven long year.
O do, de, do, de, do, de; bless thee from whirlwind, star-blasting, and
taking; do poor Tom some charity, whom the foul fiend vexes; there could
I have him now, and there, and there again, and there; through the sharp
hawthorn blows the cold wind; Tom's a-cold! who gives any thing to poor
Tom?--In this character, and with such like expressions, our hero entered
the house both of great and small, claiming kindred to them, and
committing all manner of frantic actions; such as beating himself,
offering to eat coals of fire, running against the wall, and tearing to
pieces those garments that were given him to cover his nakedness; by
which means he raised very considerable contributions.
But these different habits and characters were still of farther use to
our hero, for by their means he had a better opportunity of seeing the
world, and knowing mankind, than most of our youths who make the grand
tour; for, as he had none of those petty amusements and raree-shows,
which so much divert our young gentlemen abroad, to engage his attention,
it was wholly applied to the study of mankind, their various passions and
inclinations; and he made the greater improvement in his study, as in
many of his characters they acted before him without reserve or disguise.
He saw in little and plain houses hospitality, charity and compassion,
the children of frugality; and found under gilded and spacious roofs,
littleness, uncharitableness and inhumanity, the offspring of luxury and
riot; he saw servants waste their master's substance, and that there were
no greater nor more crafty thieves than domestic ones; and met with
masters who roared out for liberty abroad, acting the arbitrary tyrants
in their own houses:--he saw ignorance and passion exercise the rod of
justice; oppression, the handmaid of power; self-interest outweighing
friendship and honesty in the opposite scale; pride and envy spurning and
trampling on what was more worthy than themselves;--he saw the pure white
robes of truth sullied with the black hue of hypocrisy and dissimulation;
he sometimes, too, met much riches unattended by pomp and pride, but
diffusing themselves in numberless unexhausted streams, conducted by the
hands of two lovely servants, Goodness and Beneficence;--and he saw
honesty, integrity and goodness of mind, inhabitants of the humble cot of
poverty.
All these observations afforded him no little pleasure, but he felt a
much greater in the indulgence of the emotions of filial piety, paying
his parents frequent visits, unknown to them, in different disguises; at
which time, the tenderness he saw them express in their inquiries after
him (it being their constant custom so to do of all travellers) always
melted him into real tears.
It has been remarked, that curiosity, or the desire of knowledge, is that
which most distinguishes man from the brute, and the greater the mind is,
the more insatiable is that passion: we may, without flattery, say no man
had a more boundless one than our hero; for, not satisfied with the
observations he had made in England and Wales, (which we are well assured
were many more than are usually made by gentlemen before they travel into
foreign parts,) he now resolved to see other countries and manners. He
was the more inclined to this, as he imagined it would enable him to be
of greater service to the community of which he was a member, by
rendering him capable of executing some of his stratagems with much
greater success.
He communicated this design to his school-fellow, Escott, one of those
who joined the gipseys with him, (for neither of the four wholly quitted
the community). Escott very readily agreed to accompany him in his
travels, and there being a vessel ready to sail for Newfoundland, tying
at Dartmouth, where they then were, they agreed to embark on board her.
Nothing remarkable happened in their passage which relates to our hero;
we shall therefore pass it by, and land him safe in Newfoundland. Having
remained there during the fishing season, he acquired all the information
he possibly could, and which he thought might be useful to him, and
returned in the same vessel to Dartmouth, from whence he had at first
sailed, bringing with him a surprising fierce and large dog, which he had
enticed to follow him, and made as gentle as a lamb, by an art peculiar
to himself. Our hero was received with great joy by his fellow gipseys,
and they were loud in his praises, when they understood he had undertaken
this voyage to enable him to deceive his enemies with the greater
success. He accordingly, in a few days, went out on a cruise in the
character of a shipwrecked sailor, lost in a vessel homeward bound from
Newfoundland, sometimes belonging to Pool, sometimes to Dartmouth, at
other times to other ports, and under such or such commander, according
as the newspapers gave account of such melancholy accidents.
If the booty he got before under this character was considerable, it was
much more so now, for being able to give an exact account of
Newfoundland, the settlements, harbours, fishery, and the inhabitants
thereof, he applied with great confidence to masters of vessels, and
gentlemen well acquainted with those parts; so that those to whom before
his prudence would not let him apply, now became his greatest
benefactors, as the perfect account he gave of the country engaged them
to give credit to all he asserted, and made them very liberal in his
favour.
It was about this time our hero became sensible of the power of love; we
mean of that sort which has more of the mind than the body, and is
tender, delicate and constant; the object of which remains constantly
fixed in the mind, and will not admit of any partner with it. It was in
the town of Newcastle, so famous for its coal-works, which our hero
visited out of curiosity, appearing there undisguised and making a very
genteel appearance, that he became enamoured with the daughter of Mr.
Gray, an eminent surgeon there. This young lady had charms perhaps equal
to any of her sex; and we might in that style, which one, who calls
himself an author of the first rate, calls the sublime, say, "Here was
whiteness, which no lilies, ivory, nor alabaster could match. The finest
cambric might be supposed from envy to cover that bosom, which was much
whiter than itself;" but we must confess we always feel a cold horror
shoot through our limbs at the reading of this puerile sublime, and we
make no doubt but many other readers do the same, as it greatly tends to
make our hearts ache by putting us in mind of what our posteriors have
suffered for us at school. We shall therefore content ourselves by
saying, this lady had charms sufficient to captivate the heart of any man
not unsusceptible of love; and they made so deep an impression upon our
hero, that they wholly effaced every object which before had created any
desire in him, and never permitted any other to raise them afterwards;
and, wonderful to tell, we have after about thirty years enjoyment, seen
him lament her occasional absence almost with tears, and talk of her with
all the fondness of one who had been in love but three days. Our hero
tried all love's soft persuasions with his fair one in an honourable way;
and, as his person was very engaging, and his appearance genteel, he did
not find her greatly averse to the proposals. As he was aware that his
being of the community of the gipseys might prejudice her against him
without examination, he passed with her for the mate of a collier's
vessel, in which he was supported by Captain L---n of Dartmouth, an old
acquaintance of our hero's, who then commanded a vessel lying at
Newcastle, and acknowledged him for his mate. These assertions satisfied
the young lady very well, and she at length consented to exchange the
tender care and love of a parent for that of a husband. The reader may
perhaps be surprised that she did not make any farther inquiries about
him; it is therefore necessary that we should inform him, that our hero
had engaged on his side a very eloquent and persuasive advocate or
counsellor, for we know not which denomination most properly belongs to
him; one, though still beardless, existed as soon as the first woman was
created, and has had ever since, till within this last century, very
great practice in the business of uniting both sexes for life; but of
late years a neighbouring counsellor, named self-interest, has by
underhand dealings, false insinuations, and mean suggestions, taken away
the greatest part of his business, so that he is seldom retained on
either side. Our hero, however, engaged him in his service, and he
pleaded so strongly for him in the young lady, that he removed all her
objections, and silenced all her scruples, and at last persuaded her to
leave her home and venture on board Captain L---n's vessel with her
lover; for, though this counsellor, according to a very good picture of
him drawn by a famous master, has more of the wanton roguish smiles of a
boy in his countenance, than the formality, wisdom, and gravity of those
counsellors whom thou hast perhaps seen in Westminster-hall; and never
wore one of those ponderous perukes which are so essential to the
knowledge, wisdom, and eloquence of those gentlemen; yet we are assured
none of them ever equalled him in persuasive arguments, removing of
difficulties, and silencing of doubts; for he indeed differs in practice
from most of the counsellors we ever heard of: for, as these are apt to
puzzle and perplex their clients by their answers, and make intricate
what was plain before, on the contrary, the gentleman we are speaking of
had a wonderful faculty of making the greatest difficulties plain and
easy, and always answered every objection and scruple to the entire
satisfaction of his client.
The lover and his fair one being on board, they soon hoisted sail, and
the very winds being willing to favour these two happy lovers, they had
an exceeding quick passage to Dartmouth, where they landed. Our hero
being now no longer able to conceal his being a member of the community
of gipseys, after some previous introduction, declared it to the young
lady, who was not a little surprised and troubled at it; but the
counsellor we have already spoken of being near at hand, soon composed
her mind, by suggesting to her the worthy family her lover was sprung
from; that the community of the gipseys was more happy, and less
disreputable than she imagined, that the person of her lover was quite
amiable, and that he had good nature, and love enough to make her happy
in any condition.
As these suggestions entirely satisfied her, the lovers in a few days set
out for Bath, where they lawfully solemnized their nuptials with great
gaiety and splendour, and were those two persons whom many of the old
slanders at Bath remembered for many years after to have made such an
eclat, but nobody could, at the time, conjecture who they were, which was
the occasion of much speculation and many false surmises.
We cannot conclude on this head, but with the deserved praises of our
hero, from whose mouth we have had repeated assurance, that, during their
voyage to Dartmouth, and their journey from thence to Bath, not the least
indignity was offered to the innocence or modesty of his dear Miss Gray.
Our lovers began to be at length weary of the same repeated rounds of
pleasure at Bath, for at that time the wit of man had not reached so high
as the invention of that most charming, entertaining, never-cloying
diversion, called E, O, which seems to have been reserved among the
secrets of fate to do honour to the present age; for upon the nicest
scrutiny, we are quite convinced it is entirely new, and cannot find the
least traces of its being borrowed from any nation under the sun; for,
though we have with great pains and labour inquired into all the games
and diversions of the ancients; though we have followed untutored Indians
through all their revels, and though we have accurately examined into the
dull pleasures of the uncouth Hottentots; yet in all these we find either
some marks of ingenuity to exercise and refresh the mind, or something of
labour to invigorate the body;--we therefore could not avoid interrupting
our history, to do honour to this truly interesting and original game.
Our lovers having left Bath, visited next the city of Bristol, where they
stayed some time, and caused more speculation there than they had before
done at Bath, and did as much damage to that city as the famous Lucullus
did at Rome, on his return from his victorious expedition; we have some
reason to think they first introduced the love of dress among those plain
and frugal citizens. After some stay here, they made a tour through
Somerset and Dorset to Hampshire, where they paid a visit to an uncle of
our hero's living then at Dorchester, near Gosport, who was a clergyman
of distinguished merit and character; here they were received with great
politeness and hospitality, and abode a considerable time.
His uncle took this opportunity of making use of every argument to
persuade him to quit the community of the gipseys; but our hero was so
thoroughly fixed in his principles, that even that argument which
oftentimes convinces patriots in a few hours, that all they said and did
before was wrong, that kings have a divine right to grind the faces of
their subjects, and that power which lays its iron hand on Nabal's goodly
vineyard, and says, "This is mine, for so I will," is preferable to
heavenly liberty, which says to every man, "Possess what is thine own,
reap what thou hast sown, gather what thou hast planted, eat, drink, and
lie down secure;" even this powerful argument had no effect upon our
hero; for, though his uncle made him very lucrative offers for the
present, and future promises of making him heir of all his possessions,
yet remembering his engagements with the gipseys, he rejected them all;
and reflecting that he had long lived useless to that community, he began
to prepare for his departure from his uncle's, in order to make some
incursions on the enemy.
To do this with more effect, he bethought himself of a new stratagem. He
therefore equipped himself in a loose black gown, puts on a band, a large
white peruke, and a broad-brimmed hat;--his whole deportment was
agreeable to his dress;--his pace was solemn and slow, his countenance
thoughtful and grave, his eyes turned on the ground--but now and then
raised in seeming ejaculations to heaven: in every look and action he
betrayed his want, but at the same time seemed overwhelmed with that
shame which modest merit feels, when it is obliged to solicit the cold
hand of charity; this behaviour excited the curiosity of many gentlemen,
clergy, &c., to inquire into the circumstances of his misfortunes; but it
was with difficulty they could engage him to relate them, it being with
much seeming reluctance that he acquainted them with his having exercised
for many years the sacred office of a clergyman at Aberistwith, a parish
in Wales; but that the government changing, he had preferred quitting his
benefice, to taking an oath contrary to his principles and conscience.
This relation he accompanied with frequent sighs, deep marks of adoration
of the ways of Providence, and warm expressions of his firm trust and
reliance in its goodness and faithfulness, with high encomiums on the
inward satisfaction of a good conscience. When he discoursed with any
clergyman, or other person of literature, he would now and then introduce
some Latin or Greek sentences, that were applicable to what they were
talking about, which gave his hearers a high opinion of his learning; all
this, and his thorough knowledge of those persons whom it was proper to
apply to, made this stratagem succeed even beyond his own expectations.
But now, hearing of a vessel bound to Philadelphia, on board of which
were many Quakers, being cast away on the coast of Ireland, he laid aside
his gown, cassock, and band, clothes himself in a plain suit, pulls the
button from his hat, and flaps it on every side; his countenance was now
demure, his language unadorned with any flowers of speech, and the words
You and Sir, he seemed to hold in abomination; his hat was moved to none,
for, though under misfortunes, he would not think of bowing the knee to
Baal.
With these qualifications, he addressed himself to persons of the
denomination of Quakers with great success (for indeed it is to be wished
that all other sects would imitate them in their readiness to relieve
their brethren); and hearing that there was to be a great meeting of them
from all parts, at a place called Thorncombe, in Devonshire, he makes the
best of his way there; and with a demure look and modest assurance enters
the assembly, where, making his case known, and satisfying them, by his
behaviour, of his being one of their sect, they made a very considerable
subscription for his relief.
So active was the mind of our hero, that he was never more happy than
when engaged in some adventure or other; therefore, when he had no
opportunity of putting any great stratagem in execution, he would amuse
himself with those which did not require so great a share of art and
ingenuity. Whenever he heard of any melancholy accident by fire; he
immediately repaired to the place where it happened, and there, remarking
very accurately the spot, inquired into the cause of it, and getting an
exact information of the trades, characters, families, and circumstances
of the unhappy sufferers, he immediately assumed the person and name of
one of them; and burning some part of his coat and hat, as an ocular
demonstration of his narrow escape, he made the best of his way to places
at some distance, and there passed for one who had been burnt out; and to
gain credit, showed a paper signed with the names of several gentlemen in
the neighbourhood of the place where the fire happened, recommending him
as an honest unhappy sufferer, by which he got considerable sums.
Under this character, he had once the boldness to address Justice Hall,
of Exmouth, in Devon, the terror and professed enemy of every order of
the gipseys; however, our hero managed so artfully, though he went
through a strict examination, that he at last convinced his worship that
he was an honest miller, whose house, mill, and whole substance had been
consumed by fire, occasioned by the negligence of an apprentice boy, and
was accordingly relieved by the justice.
Coming one day to Squire Portman's, at Brinson, near Blandford, in the
character of a famous rat-catcher, with a hairy cap upon his head, a buff
girdle about his waist, and a tame rat in a little box by his side, he
boldly marched up to the house in this disguise, though his person was
well known by the family, and meeting in the court with Mr. Portman, the
Rev. Mr. Bryant, and several other gentlemen whom he well knew, but did
not suspect he should be known by them, he accosted them as a
rat-catcher, asking if their Honours had any rats to kill. Do you
understand your business well? replied Mr. Portman. Yes, and please your
honour; I have followed it many years, and have been employed in his
majesty's yards and ships. Well, go in and get something to eat; and
after dinner we will try your abilities.
Our hero was accordingly placed at the second table to dinner, and very
handsomely entertained; after which he was called into a great parlour,
among a large company of gentlemen and ladies. Well, honest Mr.
Rat-catcher, said Mr. Portman, can you lay any schemes to kill the rats,
without hurting my dogs? Yes, boldly replied Mr. Carew, I shall lay it
where even cats can't climb to reach it. And what countryman are you,
pray? A Devonshire man, please your honour. What may be your name? Our
hero now perceiving, by the smiles and whispering of the gentlemen, that
he was known, replied very composedly, B, a, m, p, f, y, l, d, e, M, o,
o, r, e, C, a, r, e, w. This occasioned a good deal of mirth; and Mr.
Carew asking what scabby sheep had infected the whole flock? was told,
Parson Bryant was the man who had discovered him, none of the other
gentlemen knowing him under his disguise: upon which, turning to the
parson, he asked him if he had forgotten good king Charles's rules? Mr.
Pleydell, of St. Andrew's, Milbourn, expressed a pleasure at seeing the
famous Mr. Bampfylde Moore Carew, saying he had never seen him before.
Yes, but you have, replied he, and gave me a suit of clothes. Mr.
Pleydell testified some surprise at this, and desired to know when it
was. Mr. Carew asked him if he did not remember a poor wretch met him
one day at his stable-door with an old stocking round his head instead of
a cap, and a woman's old ragged mantle on his shoulders, no shirt on his
back, nor stockings to his legs, and scarce any shoes on his feet; and
that he asked him if he was mad? to which he replied No; but a poor
unfortunate man, cast away on the coast, and taken up, with eight others,
by a Frenchman, the rest of the crew, sixteen in number, being all
drowned; and that Mr. Pleydell having asked what countryman he was, gave
him a guinea and a suit of clothes. Mr. Pleydell said he well remembered
such a poor object. Well, replied our hero, that object was no other
than the rat-catcher now before you: at which all the company laughed
very heartily. Well, said Mr. Pleydell, I will bet a guinea I shall know
you again, come in what shape you will: the same said Mr. Seymour, of
Handford. Some of the company asserting to the contrary of this, they
desired our hero to try his ingenuity upon them, and then to discover
himself, to convince them of it.
This being agreed upon, and having received a handsome contribution of
this company, he took his leave; but Parson Bryant followed him out, and
acquainted him that the same company, and many more, would be at Mr.
Pleydell's on such a day, and advised him to make use of that opportunity
to deceive them all together; which our hero soon resolved to do. He
therefore revolved in his mind what stratagem was most likely to succeed:
at length he fixed upon one, which he thought could not fail answering
his purpose.
When the day was come, the barber was called in to make his face as
smooth as his art could do, and a woman's gown and other female
accoutrements of the largest size were provided for him. Having jumped
into his petticoats, pinned a large dowde under his chin, and put a
high-crowned hat on his head, he made a figure so comical that even
Hogarth's humour can scarcely parallel; yet our hero thought himself of
something else to render his disguise more impenetrable: he therefore
borrowed a little hump-backed child of a tinker, and two more of some
others of his community. There remained now only in what situation to
place the children, and it was quickly resolved to tie two to his back,
and to take the other in his arms.