"Rogare malo, quam emere."--SUIDAS.
Sly old fox, what pen shall do justice to thy cunning! Grave, venerable,
ancient cheat, who showest a _Bible_, left thee by some pious enthusiast
(the old family pew-book, morocco, in silver clasps--well thou lookest
to them at least) in return for many dealings with thee, and in
requital, so thou sayest, for thine incomparable disinterestedness and
honesty!
It would be no harder task to unwind a mummy, than to unroll and
unriddle _thee_, old rogue, in thy endless windings and detours! "Have
no dealings with A----," said that _timid_ rogue, the Florentine
attorney R----; "the man is so gigantic a cheat, that he frightens me!"
"and cunning to a degree" was D----'s account of him. "He is up to a
thing or two," said S----, looking knowing, and putting his finger, like
Harpocrates, to his mouth, that it went no further. A brother dealer
called him a Hebrew; another (himself as sly as any fox) admitted that
he had been overreached by him. His name, whenever mentioned, seldom
failed to call forth a smile, or a shrug, in those who had not dealt
with him; and a thundering oath against his German blood in those that
had. Mr A---- was therefore too remarkable a man for us, ourself an
incipient collector, not to visit; and so, as soon as we got to Naples,
we dispatched a note, and the next day followed it in person; rang at
the bell, and were ushered into his sanctum; where we beheld the old
_necromancer_ standing at his table, looking out for us. He put down his
eyeglass and his old coin; and said in answer to our question, which was
in English, "Ya! ya! mein name is A----." Forgetting at this moment what
R---- had said of him, and only recollecting that they were acquainted,
we began, by way of introducing ourselves to his best things, to say,
that we had lately seen his friend R---- at Rome--"Dat is not mein
friend, dat is mein enemy," said he, displeased at our mentioning the
name; and looking at us half suspiciously, half spitefully. "I hav notin
to say wit him more," and he took a huge pinch of snuff, and wasted a
deal on his snuffy waistcoat and shirt frill. We at once saw our
mistake, which indeed, but for our anxiety to get to business, we should
not, assuredly, have been guilty of. We had now to make the best of it.
"A mistake, Mr. A----, we assure you. Mr. R---- might say that, on _one_
occasion, you _had_ been _brusque_ with him; but advised us,
notwithstanding, to pay you a visit, regretting that, from some little
difference between you, _he_ could not give us the introduction, which,
under more favourable circumstances, he would have pressed upon us;" an
announcement which completely mollified the old rogue, who, in his heart
of hearts, was thinking that a new victim had turned up to him, and one
of Rusca's recommending. "It is pleasant to make peace between two
honest men," said we; "Rusca and you should not have quarrelled.
Ill-natured people take advantage of these disputes, and begin to
profess open distrust as to the age and genuineness of whatever you
sell." "For dis reason I hate not Mr Rusca; but he has too much
_strepitusness_ of voice--_il s'emporte trop facilement_." "Ah,"
interpose we in the mediatorial capacity we had assumed, "'tis the
character of the Italian to do so." "Ya, dat is true," assented he; and
then we went to look at his coins. "We are not blind friends of
Rusca's," said we, sitting down to the first tray which he gave us to
look at, and seeing, from the character of the coins therein exhibited,
that A---- had presumed we _might_ be. "We only buy from R---- when he
is discreet, and does not overcharge; which, _entre nous_, he is very
apt to do." The old man glanced at us approvingly, and trying hard to
look honest, said, "Ya, ya; when he can get _ein_ piastre he will not
take _ein halb_--but when I ask a piastre for any tings, (and he was
grave again,) it is tantamount as to say, 'dis is de _leastest_ preis to
give.'" "All here has a fixed price, has it?" "Ya, ya." "And what may
this pretty little figure be worth?" "I shall confess dat is dear; two
hundred piastres is de preis--Rusca would have said four hundred to
begin mit." We admitted its beauty; but said two hundred spread out upon
the table were also beautiful. "De good ting is de dear ting," said he,
and we admitted the truth of the proposition, both in the abstract and
in its application; took up a specious-looking coin, which he took as
abruptly out of our hand--"_Nein gewiss nicht_," we must not buy that.
"Why?" Because some people had not scrupled to tell him (though they
knew better) that it was a Rusca. "Rusca!" said we, "and what does that
mean?" "In Neapolitan _patois_," said he, "we call all our specious but
doubtful wares Ruscas! But dis," continued he, taking up a companion to
it--"dis I baptize in my own name, and offer for a true John A----."
"Ah!" sighed we, but without _emphasis_, as if it had only _just_
occurred to us "how difficult, now-a-days, _not_ to be deceived;" and we
replaced the J---- A---- in his box accordingly. "Ven all amateurs,"
said he, (following out his own thought, rather than replying to ours,)
"ven all amateurs were connoisseurs likewise, we might say goot-night to
dis bissnesse."
In the days of our novitiate, when we used to say, and think we knew (as
the phrase is) what would please us, and would buy according to our
means, we found (as indeed all purchasers in these matters find) that
time, while it brought with it a nicer appreciation in judging works of
art, diminished also our opinion of what we had formerly purchased; and,
to avoid fresh disappointments, we used to apply to an _antiquario_ to
give us his advice _pro re nata_;--as the reader will see by the
following note of Herr A----, which, as it prevented our making one or
two foolish purchases, was not without its value, and we preserved it
accordingly. It ran _verbatim_ thus--
"Sir,--You may copy my catalogue, but on Montag ber sur I must hav
back. The _botel_ is not good in such a manner. The _figure_ is of
no great value; it is not antic, and not fair; so is the _bust_ in
stone not antic, and not nice; and every thing that is neither
antic nor fair I cannot give any worth. Your obedient servant,
"A----.
"Pray you must not tell to any one my estimation of any thing."
Neither did we, excepting to _Maga_, to whom we tell every thing.