CRUSHED ILLUSIONS
JANET sat on the floor disconsolately gazing at a broken plaster cast
which she had just unearthed from a box of her belongings sent from
Hopper Hall to her new rooms some squares away. This senior year, she
and Teddy had determined should give them more freedom.
Cordelia and Lee had followed their example, and all four were
established in one of the many houses offering apartments to students.
Charity Shepherd and Grace Breitner still clung to the familiar
dormitory. Fay Wingate and Juliet Fuller with the rest of the last
year's seniors had "passed out into the wide, wide world." Rosalie, who
had spent her college days with an aunt in the town, was now at home in
a distant city.
"What a lugubrious countenance," said Teddy, turning to look at Janet.
"One would suppose that not only was a trumpery cast broken, but your
heart as well."
"Oh, it isn't the cast altogether," said Janet; "it is what it
typifies: shattered hopes, crushed illusions, friendships broken."
"Shattered nonsense," said Teddy scornfully. "What a way for a senior
to talk. You're homesick, that's what's the matter with you. You are
sighing for old Hopper Hall; you want the bureau drawers that would
stick, and the closet door that wouldn't shut. You want giggling
freshmen to look down upon and haughty seniors to look up to. You
haven't yet become adapted to your new conditions."
"No, that isn't it, though I do miss Fay and Grace and, most of all,
little Polly. I shall miss my dear child more than any one; that's what
I mean by crushed illusions, Ted."
"Why, what is the matter with her? Isn't she here? I thought you said
she expected to come back."
Janet began fitting a wing upon her broken figure of the Victory and
answered: "No, she isn't."
"Why what has happened? Why didn't you tell me before, Janet?"
"I knew it only just now." She laid down the wing and drew from her
blouse waist a letter. "It is very romantic and very like a book," she
said, "but I didn't expect it, I expected to be making plans for her,
and helping her by my advice and sympathy all through the year and now—"
"Othello's occupation is gone? Well, you can give me the sympathy."
"It's wasted upon you. I never met a person who needed it less. As to
advice, you spurn that persistently, and I feel bereft of the use of my
highest powers."
"Suppose you don't go mooning on in this strain till after you have
told me what has happened to Polly. I have some interest in her welfare
though I can steel my heart against her fascinations with more success
than you can."
"For one thing," began Janet unfolding her letter and spreading it out
on her lap, "she is going abroad with Miss Thurston next month."
"Gracious!" exclaimed Teddy. "What next, pray? I should think that was
enough. Is Miss Thurston inviting her?'
"No, and that is where the romantic part comes in. You remember the
absent-minded uncle who gave Polly a set of Browning two years running?"
"Yes, I remember the absent-minded beggar. Well?"
"He has turned up from somewhere; Salt Lake City, or Seattle
or some one of those far distant spots. He came to Abington to
revisit the scenes of his youth. He is Polly's great-uncle, Judge
Somebody-or-other, she doesn't tell his name but calls him uncle. He
saw her and took a great fancy to her, as who would not? He also saw
Van Austin who was there at the time. Oh, yes," as Teddy looked at her
sharply, "I told you it was the real thing with Van and it is. It seems
that Papa Austin and Uncle Judge were classmates at college in their
youth, and when Uncle Judge found that Polly's young man was a son of
his old chum, he was so pleased that he offered to send Polly abroad
if she could find any one who would be a suitable companion and if she
would give up college. He has some old-fashioned prejudice against
the higher education for women, and when Van told him that he wanted
to marry Polly in a year—yes," at a second look from Teddy, "that is
true—he said there was no use for her to go back to college and that a
year abroad would be of much more benefit to her. So he piles down here
to town, hunts up Papa Austin, splurges around with a gold-headed cane—"
"Did Polly tell you all that?" asked the literal Teddy.
"No, not all. I am simply making him the conventional rich uncle. He's
got to be effective or my story will lose its artistic quality. So
then, when he discloses his identity to his old chum, he exclaimed,
'Behold in me the long lost comrade of boyhood's days!' And papa hauls
out his handkerchief and trumpets a blast, being overcome with emotion,
and quavers out: 'Does my hearing deceive me or are those the tones
of my old playmate, Peter—we'll call him Peter—Perkins?' Then they
fall on one another's neck and get red in the face. Then Polly trips
in hand in hand with Van. She wears a fetching hat and a ravishing
costume purchased by the wealthy uncle, and Papa Austin says: 'Shiver
my timbers!'"
"Oh, Janet, now you are getting silly."
"So I am. I am losing the unity of my scheme. He says: 'Bless my soul,
whom have we here?' Then nunky trots her forward and says: 'My niece
and heiress,' while Polly hangs her head and drops a pretty curtsey.
Then nunky and papa join hands and say: 'Bless you, my children,' and
they ring down the curtain."
"Janet, how much of that is true and how much is foolishness? I never
heard any one gabble on in such a strain as you can."
"The main facts are true, though I have embellished it a little to
make it more picturesque. It is perfectly true that the judge is an
old friend of the Austins; likewise is it true that Polly is going
abroad with Miss Thurston next month, and that she and Van expect to be
married in about a year."
"And what do the Austins say?"
"I don't see why they should say anything. Now that the judge has
appeared on the scene they appear to be reconciled to the match. Van
isn't so wonderfully well off. He has a pretty good position and fair
prospects, so I think they will get along, even if papa and mamma don't
come forward with munificent gifts in the shape of house and lands."
"And how do you feel about it?" asked Teddy bluntly.
"I? Oh, I am delighted." She smiled a reminiscent little smile. "I'm a
thousand times more unhappy at losing Polly, whom I hoped to have with
us this year, than I am at the loss of 'the hero.' Be sure of that,
Ted. I recovered from that attack long ago."
"He isn't one of the crushed illusions then?"
"No, indeed. 'When half-gods go the gods arrive.'"
Teddy climbed down from the step-ladder upon the top of which she
had been sitting, and crouching on the floor close to Janet, peered
interestedly up into her face. "Just what do you mean by that
enigmatical speech?" she asked.
"As if I could expound Emerson to you. Seek your own solution, my
dear." After which remark, Janet began to hum a popular air and
returned to the unpacking of her box.
Teddy went back to the hanging of her pictures saying: "At least you
are more cheerful than you were when you opened the box."
"My dear," said Janet, "even you would be aghast if you were suddenly
to discover that what you thought a complete victory had turned out to
be an apology for one, a defeat, as it were."
"Is that another enigma?" asked Teddy speaking with difficulty because
of the projection of several nails from her mouth.
"Why, no," was the reply; "nothing could be more obvious than the fact
I wish to convey to you; look at this." She held up the detached wing.
"There's some one at the other door; just see who it is, Janet," said
Teddy. "I've climbed up and down this ladder so many times that I am
getting cramps in my knees."
"It is only some of the freshmen, let them knock," said Janet, calmly
sorting over the contents of the box.
"Freshmen? Are you still at Hopper Hall, goose?"
"Oh, I forgot; really I did. I'll go."
She went to the door of the next room and opened it to admit Lee
Penrose.
"I came to borrow some alcohol," began Lee.
"Say that over again," said Janet, "and then again, Lee; it sounds so
good and natural. Of course that's what you came for. I believe you've
become so used to that formula that when you confront St. Peter at the
gate of heaven you'll murmur: 'I came to borrow some alcohol.' Come in.
How are you getting on up-stairs?"
"Oh, pretty well. It takes a good while to settle in a strange place,
much longer than when you know where to sling everything. I can't stay.
We are so tired that we are going to have some tea and stuff in our
rooms. Both Cordelia and I brought stores from home. Did you say you
had any alcohol?"
Janet returned to her task. "Look in those bottles on the floor behind
the door," she directed.
Lee began rattling among the bottles. "Here's one marked alcohol," she
said.
"Well, if it's marked alcohol, there ought to be alcohol in it," said
Janet.
Lee gave the bottle a gentle shake. "It seems about half full," she
said. "Shall I take it?"
"Oh, certainly. You are quite welcome to it," returned Janet, hiding a
smile.
And Lee went off triumphant.
Janet had risen from the unpacking of her box and was burrowing in the
depths of her trunk when a second sharp tap was heard at the door.
"Come in," said Janet, from under the trunk lid.
"Janet Ferguson, you are a fraud," said Lee's indignant voice. "We
filled the lamp full of that stuff; it must have been nothing but water
for the wick sputtered and sizzled and went out."
"Beggars shouldn't be choosers," said Janet, letting her trunk lid fall
with a thump. "I didn't say it was alcohol."
"Why, you did."
"No, I didn't. You said the bottle was marked alcohol, and I said if it
was so marked, alcohol it ought to be; that's all."
From her lofty perch Teddy looked down and chuckled.
"Well," Lee began, then she laughed. "I might have known you would play
some trick, Janet Ferguson. Now we've got to eat a cold lunch, unless—"
"Unless what?"
"You'll lend us your chafing-dish or samovar or something, for it will
take hours for that wick to dry."
"Then you deceived me," said Janet, "pretending that you had no
alcohol."
"Why, we haven't any."
"Then where's the good of a chafing-dish or a samovar, I'd like to
know?"
"But haven't you any alcohol?" asked Lee, innocently.
"Not a drop. This is not Hopper Hall, my sweeting. You will find that
if you want a thing here, you will have to provide it your own self.
Ted and I don't intend to keep alcohol on tap."
"What are you going to do without it?"
"We're going to use the gas or Mrs. Weed's kitchen stove."
"Why didn't we think of that?"
"I'm sure I don't know. Lack of the proper ingenuity, I suppose. By the
way, have you happened to have any protracted conversation with Mrs.
Weed?"
"No," replied Lee, "I've had no occasion for it. I've made some passing
remark when I met her on the stairs or in the entry but that is all."
"You will find her a mine of material. She would be worth thousands to
a Dickens. I was down in the kitchen this very morning pressing out a
rumpled waist that I had to have in a hurry, and our conversation went
something like this: 'You must be very fond of the college, Mrs. Weed,
you have lived near it for so long,' I began.
"'Yes, my dear, and I want the college to have my home after I have
done with it, if my children wish to sell it. I love my home. I've
lived here since my husband died. He was a beautiful man. I shed a
great many tears when he was taken.'
"'Yes, it must have been very hard,' I answered, rather at sea for
proper condolences and anxious to change the subject. 'I believe you
said you were from Vermont, Mrs. Weed. Do you ever go there now?'
"'No, my dear,' she said, 'I don't care to. It makes me think of my
dear mother, and of how many nice things she used to make. It always
makes me shed tears to think of all that.'
"'But you have such a pleasant home here, Mrs. Weed. You are almost
within the college grounds.' I made an effort to send the ball back to
my end of the field.
"'I know, and I enjoy the college grounds. I have seen a great many
changes, though. There used to be such a handsome rose-bush, just by
the entrance, but they took it up. I don't know why they did it. I sat
down and cried when it was gone; I missed it so.'
"'Of course you missed it, I can see that you would, but there are new
fashions in roses as well as in most things. You must have mothered a
great many students in all the years you have been here.' I sent the
ball off at another angle.
"'Yes, I have,' with a deep sigh, 'all kinds and sorts. There was one
I often think of. She went home to die. I shed a great many tears over
that young lady.'
"'It was very sad,' I murmured, feeling that I should soon be drowned
in these floods of tears. 'I have finished with the irons, Mrs. Weed,'
I said, 'I won't bother you again soon.'
"'Don't say that,' she said, 'for it makes me feel as if you were
afraid of me and that makes me feel like crying.'
"Whereupon I fled."
Lee and Teddy laughed. "I'll tackle her," said the former, "and perhaps
I can get permission to make a cup of tea."
"If you don't do it too often, she will be perfectly delighted to
accommodate you," said Janet, "but to-day you and Cordelia had better
come and lunch with us and I'll make the tea."
The invitation was readily accepted and Lee flew up-stairs to notify
Cordelia. Both appeared a few minutes later.
"We'll have to hang together," said Janet, "until we get used to
things, or we will all get in the dumps. It isn't a bit like old times,
is it, Cordelia?"
"No, I think it is better. When we get used to it, we shall be
very comfortable," she said. "I am already beginning to enjoy the
possibilities ahead of me. I've nothing against dear old Hopper
Hall, but I think its days of usefulness are past, so far as we are
concerned. There is such a raft of younger girls in there this year. We
upper classmen will enjoy the sweets of seclusion, I think. By the way,
I saw Mark, the perfect man, this summer. He was up at Gloucester. How
came you to know him so well?"
"How came I?" said Janet, slowly. "Do I know him well?"
"I thought so from the way he spoke of you. He quoted you and referred
to sundry walks in the country and such. He knew the Sunday rhyme you
made about the worm, too."
"Did he?" said Janet, indifferently. "I wonder who told him. Your vivid
imagination has enlarged the importance of the situation. I met him out
here at Ramsay's farm one never-to-be-forgotten Sunday last May when I
ran away from everybody. We had rather a nice off-to-ourselves morning,
I remember. After that I went, I think it was three times to that
little reading room at the other end of town. I told you about that, I
am sure."
"Is that all?" asked Cordelia, incredulously.
"I shall not go away off there this year," remarked Janet; "it is too
far, and I didn't fancy the experience as a steady thing. Do have some
of these preserves. They are home-made, you know. Mother packed me a
box of them, and I know they are good because the fruit came from our
own place and I helped to gather it."
Cordelia accepted the proffered sweets and did not notice that Janet
had deftly changed the subject.
"Does any one know who has our old rooms?" asked Teddy.
"Some little up-start freshmen," Lee told her. "It made me mad when I
was over there, to see them switching in and out our doors."
Cordelia laughed. "But why, Lee? We could have had them again if we
had wanted. Our coming here was our own choice. You didn't expect they
would seal up those rooms because of the sanctity lent them by our
presence."
"No, not that, of course; but it is on the same principle that I always
hate to see our housemaids wear my cast-off clothes."
"What would those freshmen say if they heard you making such a
comparison?" said Teddy. "What shall I do with the tea-leaves, Janet?"
"Teddy's practical mind is already devoting itself to the domestic side
of life," said Janet. "Chuck them in the fireplace, Ted. We'll have
a fire there some day, and burn up all the trash. An open fireplace
covers a multitude of sins. By the way, girls, that is another
perfectly lovely way of spending our time. When it gets colder, we can
cook all sorts of things over the open fire. I wish we had a crane like
those our forbears used. Yes, I foresee great satisfaction from this
fireplace."
"Janet has her heart's desire now," said Edna. "She has been yearning
for a hearthstone ever since we first came to college. I think life
ought to seem complete to her now."
Janet vouchsafed no reply but began to gather up the cups and saucers
preparatory to washing them, while Cordelia and Lee declared they must
get back to their rooms.