SAD MEMORIES OF THE DEAD YEAR.
LETTER FROM PARIS.
PREHISTORIC CROCKERY.
SUGGESTION'S FOR A SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.
THE FRAGRANT MORMON.
RECOLLECTIONS OF THE OPERA.
A SUNNY LITTLE INCIDENT.
HE REWARDED HER.
THE MODERN PARLOR STOVE.
REMARKS TO ORIGINATORS.
QUEER
SIC SEMPER GLORIA HOUSEPLANT.
HOW TO TELL.
BIOGRAPHY OF COLOROW.
DIARY OF A SAUCY YOUNG THING.
KILLING OFF THE JAMES' BOYS.
A RELIC.
SOME REASONS WHY I CAN'T BE AN INDIAN AGENT.
THE PICNIC SNOOZER'S LAMENT.
BILLIOUS NYE AND BOOMERANG IN THE GOLD MINES.
TWO GREAT MEN.
DIRTY MURPHY.
A ROCKY MOUNTAIN SUNSET.
THE TEMPERATURE OF THE BUMBLE-BEE.
DRAWBACKS OF PUBLIC LIFE.
THE GLAD, FREE LIFE OF THE MINER.
SOME THOUGHTS OF CHILDHOOD.
THE NEW ADJUSTABLE CAMPAIGN SONG.
SITTING ON ON A VENERABLE JOKE.
A HAIRBREADTH ESCAPE.
MYSELF, DR. TALMAGE, AND OTHER DIVINES.
FINE-CUT AS A MEANS OF GRACE.
THE WEATHER AND SOME OTHER THINGS.
THE PARABLE OF THE UNJUST STEWARD.
THE PARABLE OF THE PRODIGAL SON.
THE INDIAN AND THE EVERLASTING GOSPEL.
THE MUSE.
SHOEING A BRONCO.
PUMPKIN JIM; OR THE TALE OF A BUSTED JACKASS RABBIT.
CHAPTER I.—PUMPKIN JIM.
CHAPTER II.—GERALDINE CARBOLINE O'TOOLE.
CHAPTER III.—STARTLING REVELATIONS.
CHAPTER IV.—all's well that ends well.
WILLIAM NYE AND THE HEATHEN CHINEE.
HONG LEE'S GRAND BENEFIT AT LEADVILLE.
YOU FOU.
THE LOP-EARED LOVERS OF THE LITTLE LARAMIE.
CHAPTER I.—A TALE OF LOVE AND PARENTAL CUSSEDNESS.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
SPEECH OF SPARTACTUS.
CORRESPONDENCE.
HE WENT OUT WEST FOR HIS HEALTH.
A QUIET LITTLE WEDDING WITHOUT ANY FRILLS
THOUGHTS ON SPRING
THE SAME OLD THING.
THE VETERAN WHO DIED WHILE GETTING HIS PENSION.
GINGERBREAD POEMS AND COLD PICKLED FACTS.
ORIGIN OF BEAUTIFUL SNOW,
UTE ELOQUENCE.
THE AGED INDIAN'S LAMENT.
HOW A MINING STAMPEDE BREAKS OUT.
THE GREAT ROCKY MOUNTAIN REUNION OF YALLER DOGS.
WHAT WOMAN'S SUFFRAGE HAS DONE FOR WYOMING.
PORTUGUESE WITHOUT A MASTER.
THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOG.
THE BUCKNESS WHEREWITH THE BUCK BEER BUCKETH.
BILLIOUS NYE AND THE AMATEUR STAGE.
A JOURNALISTIC CORRECTION.
THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE.
A UTE PRESIDENTIAL CONVENTION.
THE CLUB-FOOTED LOVER OF PIUTE PASS.
CHAPTER THE FIRST.
CHAPTER THE TWICE.
CHAPTER THREE TIMES.
CHAPTER FOUR TIMES.
THE AUTOMATIC LIAR
SOME POSTOFFICE FIENDS.
AGRICULTURE AT AN ALTITUDE OF 7500 FEET.
THE GENTLE YOUTH FROM LEADVILLE.
A SNIDE JOURNALIST.
HE WAS BLIND.
THOUGHTS OF THE MELLOW PREVIOUSLY.
MY TOMBSTONE MINE.
BANKRUPT SALE OF A CIRCUS.
GREELEY VERSUS VALLEY TAN.
THE ETERNAL FITNESS OF THINGS.
THEY UNANIMOUSLY AROSE AND HUNG HIM.
RHETORIC VS. WOODTICK.
THE MODEL WIFE.
SOME OVERLAND TOURISTS.
CATCHING MOUNTAIN TROUT AT AN ELEVATION OF 8000 FEET.
TROUT FISHING.
HOME-MADE INDIAN RELICS.
THE PREVIOUS REPORTER.
THE PEACE COMMISSION.
SOME ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
THE CROW INDIAN AND HIS CAWS.
THE NUPTIALS OP DANGEROUS DAVIS.
THE HOLIDAY HOG.
SOME CENSUS CONUNDRUMS.
THE GENTLE POWER OF A WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.
THE NATIVE INBORN SHIFTLESSNESS OF THE PRAIRIE DOGS.
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
THE SECRET OF GARFIELD'S ELECTION.
PERILS OF THE BUTTERNUT PICKER.
A WORD OR TWO ABOUT THE SWALLOW.
LAUGHING SAM.
THE CALAMITY JANE CONSOLIDATED.
THE NOCTURNAL COW.
THE RELENTLESS GARDEN HOSE.
A WAIL.
THE GREAT, HORRID MAN RECEIVETH NEW YEAR CALLS.
JUST THE THING.
THANKS.
AN ANTI-MORMON TOWN.
A CHRISTMAS RIDE IN JULY.
EXAMINING THE BRAND ON A FROZEN STEER.
ONION PEELIN'S.
BILL NYE'S CHESTNUTS OLD AND NEW
With New Illustrations From Original Sketches, Photographs, Memoranda, and Authentic Sources, by Williams, Opper, and Hopkins.
By Bill Nye
1888
CONTENTS
CHESTNUTS OLD AND NEW.
CHESTNUT-BURR. I.—THE SHAKESPEARE-BACON PUZZLE WRESTLED WITH CONSCIENTIOUSLY.
CHESTNUT-BURR II—HOW THE GLORIOUS FOURTH WAS CELEBRATED AT WHALEN'S GROVE LAST YEAR.
ENCOURAGING GREEN JOKES.
CHESTNUT-BURR III—BILL NYE FINDS COLOROW FULL OF ODD TRAITS.
AWKWARDNESS OF CARRYING WHISKY ABOUT.
THE RIGHT SORT OF BOY.
CHESTNUT-BURR IV—BILL NYE PAYS A BRIEF VISIT TO A PROFESSIONAL STAR READER.
INGRATITUDE OF THE HUMAN HEART.
CHESTNUT-BURR V—CONCERNING THE FRENCH MASTERPIECES AT THE ACADEMY OF DESIGN.
CHESTNUT-BURR VI—BILL NYE DIAGNOSTICATES THE PLAINT OF A COUNTRY COUSIN.
MEN ARE OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD.
CHESTNUT-BURR VII—BILL NYE IN THE ROLE OF AN UTE INDIAN JENKINS.
SURE CURE FOR BILIOUSNESS.
CHESTNUT-BURR VIII—IN AN UNGUARDED MOMENT BILL NYE IS CAPTURED BY A POLITICAL SIREN.
VIRTUE ITS OWN REWARD.
CHESTNUT-BURR IX—BILL NYE DESCANTS UPON YOUNG IVES'S IDEAS IN FINANCE.
THE ANTI-CLINKER BASE-BURNER BEE.
CHESTNUT-BURR X—A FEW REMARKS ON OUR HOSTELRY SYSTEM AS IT NOW PREVAILS.
PITY FOR SAD-EYED HUSBANDS.
MARRIAGE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XI—WILLIAM NYE VISITS ROYALTY FROM THE HOME OF THE HAM SANDWICH.
THAI X DID MOT DU'
A WORD OF EXPLANATION.
CHESTNUT-BURR—THE HUMORIST INTERVIEWS HIS GRACE THE DUKE IN THE IMPROVED STYLE.
THE CHINESE COMPOSITOR.
THE TRUE AMERICAN.
CHESTNUT-BURR—XII "THE OLD MAN ELOQUENT."
CHESTNUT-BURR XIV—THE AMENDE HONORABLE.
SWEET INFLUENCES OF CHANGING SEASONS.
THE MARCH OF CIVILIZATION.
CHESTNUT-BURR. XV—A BIG CORNER ON PORK.
CHESTNUT-BURR XVI-PATRICK OLESON.
PLEASURES OF SPRING.
AN UNCLOUDED WELCOME.
TOO MUCH GOD AND NO FLOUR.
CHESTNUT-BURR. XVII—LONGING FOR HOME.
DIGNITY.
CHESTNUT-BURR XVIII—THE TRUE HISTORY OF DAMON AND PYTHIAS.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
CHESTNUT-BURR XIX—A STORY OF SPOTTED TAIL.
CHESTNUT-BURR XX—THE ROMANCE OF HORSE-SHOEING.
HOW TO PRESERVE TEETH.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXI—EXPERIENCE ON THE FEVERISH HORNET.
THE PICNIC PLANT.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXII—ANCIENT BRIC-A-BRAC
JOINT POWDER.
CHESTNUT-BURR XIII—THE TWO-HEADED GIRL.
OUR COMPLIMENTS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XIV—A PATHETIC EPISODE IN NORTHERN WISCONSIN.
THE SECRET OF HEALTH.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXV—BILL NYE ESSAYS A NOVELETTE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXVI—THE DAUGHTER OF BOB TAIL FLUSH.
LOAFING AROUND HOME.
THE PLUMAGE OF THE OSTRICH.
SOME EARNEST THOUGHTS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXVII—OUR GREAT NATIONAL MOTTO.
A GRAVE QUESTION.
THOUGHTS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XVIII—BILL NYE AT A TOURNAMENT.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXIX—A SOCIAL CURSE—THE MAN WHO INTERRUPTS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXX—A DISCOURSE ON CATS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXI—THE GREAT ORATION OF SPARTACUS.
CHESTNUT-BURR—WOMAN'S SUFFRAGE IN WYOMING.
PIGEON-TOED PETE.
CHESTNUT-BURR—CONCERNING THE SWALLOW.
THE HAPPY CODFISH.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXIV—A NOVEL WAY OF MARKING CLOTHES.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXV—THE UNHAPPY HUMORIST.
LARAMIE'S HANDKERCHIEF.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXVI—THE SODA LAKES OF WYOMING.
THE COSTLY WATERMELON.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXVII—VIEWS OF CHICAGO.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXVIII—A SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.
MODERN FICTION IS UNRELIABLE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XXXIX—SOME FACTS OF SCIENCE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XL—SORROWS OF A ONE-LEGGED MAN.
THE TRUE POET LOVES SECLUSION.
CHESTNUT-BURR XLI—REVELATION IN UTAH.
THE MODEL SLEEPING-CAR.
CHESTNUT-BURR XLII—THE TONGUE-DESTROYING FRENCH LANGUAGE.
CARVING SCHOOLS.
CHESTNUT-BURR XLIV—ONE TOUCH OF NATURE.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE REVOLVER DIFFICULTY.
THE FEMALE ARTISTE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XLV—FUN OF BEING A PUBLISHER.
A LESSON FROM THE MULE.
CHESTNUT-BURR XLVI—PERFORMANCE OF THE PHOENIX.
FIRMNESS.
PUGILIST OR STATESMAN.
CHESTNUT-BURR NYE AS A CRITIC AND NYE AS A POET.
POEMS BY BILL NYE
APOSTROPHE TO AN ORPHAN MULE.=
ODE TO SPRING.
FANTASIA FOR THE BASS DRUM; ADAPTED FROM THE GERMAN BY WILLIAM VON NYE.=
THE PICNIC SNOOZER'S LAMENT.=
ODE TO THE CUCUMBER.=
APOSTROPHE ADDRESSED TO O. WILDE.=
ADJUSTABLE CAMPAIGN SONG.=
THE BEAUTIFUL SNOW.=
THE TRUE TALE OF WILLIAM TELL.
WHY WE WEEP.
ETIQUETTE FOR THE YOUNG.
SWEET SAINT VALENTINE.
CARRYING REVOLVERS.
THE AGITATED HEN.
BANKRUPT SALE OF LITERARY GEMS.
OFFICE OF THE MORMAN BAZOO.
HINTS ON LETTER-WRITING.
SUDDEN FAME.
THE ENGLISH JOKE.
BILL NYE'S SPARKS
By Edgar Wilson Nye (Bill Nye)
1896
CONTENTS
BIOGRAPHICAL
BILL NYE'S SPARKS
REQUESTING A REMITTANCE
A PATENT ORATORICAL STEAM ORGANETTE FOR RAILWAY STUMPING
VERITAS
THE DRUG BUSINESS IN KANSAS
THE PERILS OF IDENTIFICATION
A FATHER'S LETTER
IN THE SOUTH
IN THE PARK
LIBERTY ENLIGHTENING THE WORLD.
HE SEES THE CAPITAL
HE SEES THE NAVY
MORE ABOUT WASHINGTON
A GREAT BENEFACTOR
THE COUPON LETTER OF INTRODUCTION
HOW TO TEACH JOURNALISM
THE GREAT WESTERN CLAIRVOYANT,
HIS GARDEN
WRITTEN TO THE BOY
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
THE FARMER AND THE TARIFF.
A CONVENTIONAL SPEECH
A PLEA FOR ONE IN ADVERSITY
THE RHUBARB-PIE
A COUNTRY FIRE
BIG STEVE
SPEECH OF RED SHIRT, THE FIGHTING CHIEF OF THE SIOUX NATION
TO THE POOR SHINNECOCK
WEBSTER AND HIS GREAT BOOK
BILL NYE'S RED BOOK
By Edgar Wilson Nye
Illustrated by J. H. Smith
1891
CONTENTS
BILL NYE'S RED BOOK
MY SCHOOL DAYS.
RECOLLECTIONS OF NOAH WEBSTER.
TO HER MAJESTY.
HABITS OF A LITERARY MAN.
A FATHER'S LETTER.
ARCHIMEDES.
TO THE PRESIDENT ELECT.
ANATOMY.
MR. SWEENEY'S CAT.
THE HEYDAY OF LIFE.
THEY FELL.
SECOND LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT.
MILLING IN POMPEII.
BRONCHO SAM.
HOW EVOLUTION EVOLVES.
HOURS WITH GREAT MEN.
CONCERNING CORONERS.
DOWN EAST RUM.
RAILWAY ETIQUETTE.
B. FRANKLIN, DECEASED.
LIFE INSURANCE AS A HEALTH RESTORER.
THE OPIUM HABIT.
MORE PATERNAL CORRESPONDENCE.
TWOMBLEY'S TALE.
ON CYCLONES.
THE ARABIAN LANGUAGE.
VERONA.
THE WEEPING WOMAN.
THE CROPS.
LITERARY FREAKS.
A FATHER'S ADVICE TO HIS SON.
ECCENTRICITY IN LUNCH.
INSOMNIA IN DOMESTIC ANIMALS.
ALONG LAKE SUPERIOR.
I TRIED MILLING.
OUR FOREFATHERS.
IN ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
PREVENTING A SCANDAL.
ABOUT PORTRAITS.
THE OLD SOUTH.
KNIGHTS OF THE PEN.
THE WILD COW.
SPINAL MENINGITIS.
SKIMMING THE MILKY WAY.
A THRILLING EXPERIENCE.
CATCHING A BUFFALO.
JOHN ADAMS.
THE WAIL OF A WIFE.
BUNKER HILL.
A LUMBER CAMP.
MY LECTURE ABROAD.
THE MINER AT HOME.
AN OPERATIC ENTERTAINMENT.
DOGS AND DOG DAYS.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS.
ACCEPTING THE LARAMIE POSTOFFICE.
A JOURNALISTIC TENDERFOOT.
THE AMATEUR CARPENTER.
THE AVERAGE HEN.
WOODTICK WILLIAM'S STORY.
IN WASHINGTON.
MY EXPERIENCE AS AN AGRICULTURIST.
A NEW AUTOGRAPH ALBUM.
A RESIGN.
MY MINE.
MUSH AND MELODY.
THE BLASE YOUNG MAN.
HISTORY OF BABYLON.
LOVELY HORRORS.
THE BITE OF A MAD DOG.