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Freedom was obtained at last; I flew to the sea-coast, chartered a small
vessel, and chiding the winds as we scudded along, because they would
not blow with a force equal to my impetuous desires, arrived at Cadiz.
It was late in the evening when I disembarked and repaired to the
convent; so exhausted was I by contending hopes and fears, that it was
with difficulty I could support my own weight. I tottered to the
wicket, and demanded my Rosina.
"Are you a near relation," inquired the portress, "that you request the
presence of a sister?" Her interrogation decided the point; Rosina had
taken the veil, had abjured the world and me for ever. My brain reeled,
and I fell senseless on the pavement. Alarmed at the circumstance, the
portress ran to the Lady Abbess, informing her that a person had asked
for sister Rosina, and, receiving her answer, had fallen senseless at
the wicket. Rosina was present at the narration; her heart told her who
it was; also told her that I had not been faithless. Joy at my
fidelity, and grief at her own precipitancy, which rendered it
unavailing, overpowered her, and she was led to her cell in a state as
pitiable as mine.
When I recovered my senses, I found myself in bed. I had been there for
weeks in a state of mental alienation. With reason and memory, misery
returned; but I was no longer in the frenzy of excitement; my mind was
as exhausted as my body, and I felt a species of calm despair.
Convinced that all was lost, that an insuperable bar was placed between
Rosina and me, I reasoned myself into a kind of philosophy; and
resolved, as soon as I could recover my strength, to fly from a place
which had been the scene of so much anticipated happiness, and of so
much real woe.
One desire still remained; it was to see Rosina previous to my
departure, that I might explain the cause of my delay. Conviction told
me that it was wrong; but the impulse I could not resist: had I not
yielded to it, I should have been unfortunate, but not guilty.
I wrote to her upbraiding her for her precipitation, and imploring a
final interview. Her answer was affecting--it brought showers of tears
from my eyes, and again inflamed my love. The interview was refused, as
it could be productive of no benefit, and would only call forth feelings
in opposition to her duty; but it was so kindly, so gently negatived,
that it was evident her inclination was at variance with her pen; and on
my repeating the request, as a proof that her affection had been
sincere, she unwillingly acceded.
We met--for our misery--for our guilt, we met.--From that moment, I
resolved never to abandon her--religion, virtue, morality, every feeling
was borne away by the re-appearance of the object of my adoration; and
before the interview was over, I again dared to breathe vows of fidelity
to one who had devoted herself to God. "This cannot be, Henrique," said
Rosina; "we must meet no more: reflect, and you will be convinced of its
impropriety. No dispensation from the vow will be permitted by my
parents--all hopes of union in this world are over--Oh! may we meet in
heaven!" and she clasped her hands in anguish as she disappeared.
I returned home, every pulse beating to madness. Again I addressed her,
imploring another meeting; but received a firm denial. So far from
being baffled at this addition to the obstacles which presented
themselves, it but increased my determination to surmount them. To
overcome her duty to her parents, to induce her to trample on her vows
to God, to defy the torments of the Inquisition, to release her from
bolts and bars, to escape from a fortified and crowded city--each and
every difficulty but inflamed my ardour--every appeal of conscience but
added to my wilful determination.
Although hitherto I had abhorred deceit, my first act was one of
duplicity. I wrote to her, stating that I had been permitted an
interview with her friends, and had made known to them what had passed;
that they had listened to me, and were disposed to yield; and although
it was kept a secret from her, in a few months her vows would be
dispensed with.
How cruel--how selfish was my conduct! but it answered my intention.
Buoyed up with the prospect of future happiness, Rosina no longer
struggled against the fatal passion--no longer refused to see me, and
listen to my vows of eternal fidelity. Deeper and deeper did she drink
of the intoxicating draught, until it had effaced from her mind, as it
had already done from mine, every other sensation than that of love.
Although I could have kissed the ground which she trod upon, and have
suffered the torments of a martyr for her sake, it was with the pleasure
of a demon that I witnessed my success, and hailed her falling off from
religion and from virtue.
Six months had passed away, during which, by bribes to the portress, and
the yielding of my mistress, I had contrived to obtain admittance by
night into the convent garden. One evening I informed her that her
parents, menaced by their confessor, had rescinded their promise to me,
and had decided upon not obtaining her dispensation. Every thing had
been prepared, that she might have no time for reflection: hurried away
by her own feelings, my persuasions, and my protestations, she consented
to fly with me to my own country. I bore the trembling, fainting girl
in my arms--effected my escape from the convent and the city--embarked
on board of a vessel which I had ready to weigh at a moment's warning,
and was soon far distant from the port of Cadiz.
It was near midnight when we embarked, and I bore my treasure down into
the cabin of the vessel, muffled up in my cloak. Her nun's dress had
not been laid aside; for I had not provided myself with any other change
of raiment.
Before morning it blew fresh. Rosina, who, as well as I, had abandoned
herself to that powerful love which engrossed us, lay supported in my
arms, when the captain of the vessel, coming down to speak to me,
perceived that she was arrayed in the religious attire. He started when
he viewed it, and hastily quitted the cabin. I had a presentiment that
all was not right, and, removing my arms from Rosina, repaired on deck,
where I found him in consultation with the crew. The subject in
agitation was their immediate return to Cadiz to deliver us to the
Inquisition. I resisted the suggestion; claimed the vessel as my own,
having chartered her, and threatened immediate death to any one who
should attempt to alter her course; but it was in vain. Their horror at
the sacrilege, and their fear of being implicated in, and suffering the
dreadful penalties attending it, bore down all my arguments; my promises
and my threats were alike disregarded.
I was seized, overpowered, and the vessel steered in for land. I raved,
stamped, and imprecated in vain: at last I declared that we all should
suffer together, as I would denounce them as having been aware of my
intentions, and state that it was only in consequence of my having
refused to submit to farther extortion, that they had not fulfilled
their agreement. This startled them; for they knew that the Inquisition
gladly seized upon all pretexts; and that even if not convicted, their
imprisonment would be long. Again they consulted; and heaving the
vessel to the wind, they hoisted out the long boat. Having thrown into
her a scanty supply of provisions and water, with a few necessaries,
they brought up the terrified Rosina from the cabin, and, placing her in
the boat, released and ordered me to follow. As soon as I was in the
boat, they cut the rope by which it was towed, and we were soon left at
a distance astern.
Glad to escape from the cruelty of man, I cared little for the danger to
which we were subjected from the elements. I consoled my frightened
Rosina; I stepped the mast, hoisted the sail, and steered in a southerly
direction, with the intention of landing on some part of the African
coast. So far from being alarmed at my situation, I felt happy. I was
in a frail bark; but I had within it all that I cared for in this world.
I sailed I knew not where, but Rosina was in my company; I felt the
uncertainty of our fate, but was more than compensated by the certainty
of possession. The wind rose, the sea ran high, and curled in
threatening foam; we darted with rapidity before it; and steering with
one arm, while Rosina was clasped in the other, I delighted in our
romantic situation; and, pleased with the excitement which it created, I
was blind to the danger which we encountered.
For six days we ran before the wind, when an accumulation of clouds upon
the southern horizon indicated that we should have a change. I had no
compass in the boat, but had steered by the sun during the day, and by
the stars during the night. I now considered myself well to the
southward, and determined upon running eastward, that I might gain the
African shore; but the gale was too strong to permit me to bring the
broadside of my small bark to the wind, and I was compelled to continue
my course in a southerly direction.
For the first time, a sensation of alarm came over me: we had but two
days' more sustenance, and Rosina was worn out by constant exposure. I
myself felt the necessity of repose: it was with difficulty that I could
keep my eyelids raised; every minute Nature demanded her rights, and I
nodded at the helm.
I was in a melancholy reverie, when I thought that I perceived, as the
clouds on the horizon occasionally opened, something that had the
appearance of the summit of a precipice. They closed again; I watched
them with anxiety until they gradually rolled away, and discovered a
lofty island, covered with trees and verdure down to the water's edge.
I shouted with delight, and pointed it out to Rosina, who answered my
exultations with a faint smile. My blood curdled at the expression of
her countenance: for many hours she had been in deep thought; and I
perceived that the smile was forced to please me, the intelligence I had
imparted affording her but little pleasure. I ascribed it to weariness
and exhaustion; and hoping soon to be able to relieve her, I steered
direct for the only part of the shore which promised us a safe descent.
In an hour I was close to it: and, anxious to land before dark, I
steered the boat, with the sail hoisted, through the surf, which was
much heavier than I expected. As soon as her bow struck the beach, the
boat was thrown on her broadside, and it required all my exertion to
save my beloved, which I did not effect without our being completely
washed by the surf, which, in a few minutes, dashed the boat to pieces.
I bore her to a cave at a short distance from where we landed; and,
wrapping her up in a cloak which I had saved from the boat, took away
her nun's attire, and exposed it to dry in the powerful rays of the sun.
I went in search of food, which I soon obtained: banana and cocoa-nuts
grew in profusion and in beauty, and fresh water ran down in noisy
rills. I bore them to her, and congratulated her that we were now
beyond all pursuit, and in a spot which promised to supply us with all
that we required. She smiled languidly; her thoughts were elsewhere.
Her clothes were dry, and I brought them to her: she shuddered at the
sight of them, and seemed to muster up her resolution before she could
put them on. Night closed in upon us, and we remained in the cave: our
bed was formed of the cloaks and the sail of the boat; and, locked in
each other's arms, separated from all the world, and living but for each
other, we fell asleep. The morning broke: not a cloud was to be seen
through the blue expanse. We walked out, and dwelt in silent admiration
upon the splendour of the scene. The island was clothed in beauty; the
sun poured his genial rays upon the wild fertility of nature; the birds
were warbling forth their notes of joy; the sea was calm and clear as a
mirror, reflecting the steep hills which towered above each other.
"Here then, Rosina," cried I, at last, with rapture, "we have all that
we require, blessed in each other's love."
Rosina burst into tears: "All--all, Henrique, except an approving
conscience, without which I feel that I cannot live. I love you--love
you dearly--dote upon you, Henrique: you cannot doubt it after all that
has occurred: but now that the delirium of passion has subsided,
conscience has been busy--too busy, for it has embittered all; and I
feel that happiness is flown for ever. I wedded myself to God; I chose
my Saviour as my spouse; I vowed myself to him--was received by him at
the altar; and I abandoned this world for that which is to come. What
have I done?--I have been unfaithful to him--left him, to indulge a
worldly passion, sacrificed eternity for perishable mortality, and there
is a solemn voice within that tells me I am an outcast from all heavenly
joys. Bear with me, dear Henrique! I mean not to reproach you, but I
must condemn myself;--I feel that I shall not long remain here, but be
summoned before an offended Lord.
"Merciful Saviour!" cried she, falling on her knees, with imploring eyes
to heaven, "punish him not--pardon him his faults; for what are they,
compared to mine? he made no vows, he has committed no infidelity, he is
not the guilty one. Spare him, O Lord, and justly punish her who has
seduced him into crime!"
My heart smote me; I threw myself on the ground, and wept bitterly. I
felt that it had been my duplicity which had destroyed her virtuous
resolutions; my selfishness which had ruined her peace of mind and had
plunged her into guilt. She knelt by me, persuading me to rise, curbing
her own feelings as she kissed the tears from my cheeks, promising never
to wound my peace again. But it was gone--gone for ever; my crime burst
on me in all its magnitude; I felt that I had been guilty of a grievous
and unpardonable sin, and had ruined the one I loved as well as myself.
She was still on her knees; kneeling by her side, I prayed to offended
Heaven for mercy and forgiveness. She joined me in my fervent
aspirations; and, with the tears of repentance flowing down our cheeks,
we remained some time in the attitude of supplication. At last we rose.
"Do you not feel happier, Rosina?" inquired I; Rosina smiled mournfully
in reply, and we returned to the cave.
For many hours we spoke not, but remained in sad communion with our own
thoughts. The night again closed in, and we lay down to repose; and, as
I clasped her in my arms, I felt that she shuddered, and withdrew. I
released her, and retired to the other side of the cave, for I knew her
feelings and respected them. From that hour she was no more to me than
a dear and injured sister; and, although her frame hourly wasted away,
her spirits seemed gradually to revive. At the expiration of a
fortnight, she was too much reduced to rise from her bed, and I passed
day and night sitting by her side in repentance and in tears, for I knew
that she was dying. A few hours before she breathed her last she
appeared to recover a little, and thus addressed me:--
"Henrique, within this hour a balm has been poured into my breast, for a
voice tells me we are both forgiven. Great is our crime; but our
repentance has been sincere, and I feel assured that we shall meet in
heaven. For your kindness--for your unceasing love, you have my thanks,
and an attachment which Heaven does not forbid--for now it is pure. We
have sinned, and we have pleaded, and obtained our pardon together:
together shall we be, hereafter. Bless you, Henrique! pray for my soul,
still clinging to its earthly love, but pardoned by him who knows our
imperfection. Pure Mother of God, plead for me! Holy Saviour, who
despised not the tears and contrition of the Magdalen, receive an
unfaithful, but repentant spouse unto your bosom; for when I made my
vow, thou knowest that my heart--"
With what agony of grief did I hang over the body! with what bitter
tears did I wash the clay-cold face, so beautiful, so angelic in its
repose! In the morning, I dug her grave; and cleansing my hands, which
were bleeding, from the task, returned to the corpse, and bore it, in
its nun's attire, to the receptacle which I had prepared. I laid it in;
and, collecting the flowrets which blossomed round, strewed them over,
and watched till sunset: when I covered her up, laying the earth, in
small handfuls, as lightly on her dear remains, as the mother would the
coverlid upon her sleeping babe. Long it was before I could prevail on
myself to soil that heavenly face, or hide it from my aching eyes. When
I had, I felt that Rosina was indeed no more, and that I was indeed
alone.
For two years I remained in solitude. I erected a rude chapel over her
grave, and there passed my days in penance and contrition. Vessels
belonging to other nations visited the island, and returning home with
the intelligence, it was taken possession of and colonised. To their
astonishment, they found me; and, when I narrated my story and my
wishes, allowed me a passage to their country. Once more I embarked on
the trackless wave, no longer my delight; and as the shore receded, I
watched the humble edifice which I had raised over the remains of my
Rosina: it appeared to me as if a star had settled over the spot, and I
hailed it as an harbinger of grace. When I landed, I repaired to the
convent to which I now belong; and, taking the vows of abstinence and
mortification, have passed the remainder of my days in masses for the
soul of my Rosina, and prayers for my own redemption.
Such is the history of Henrique; and may it be a warning to those who
allow their reason to be seduced by passion, and check not the first
impulse towards wrong, when conscience dictates that they are straying
from the paths of virtue!
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"Holy Allah!" exclaimed the pacha, yawning; "is this the bulbul singing
to the rose?--What is it all about, Mustapha? or what is it written for,
but to send one asleep? Murakhas, you are dismissed," continued the
pacha to the Greek slave, who retired.
Mustapha, who perceived that the pacha was disappointed in the
entertainment of the evening, immediately addressed him:--"The soul of
your sublime highness is sad, and the mind is wearied.--What says the
sage? and are not his words of more value than large pearls? `When thou
art sick, and thy mind is heavy, send for wine. Drink, and thank Allah
that he has given relief.'"
"Wallah thaib!--it is well said," replied the pacha: "Is not the
`fire-water' of the Franks to be obtained?"
"Is not the earth, and what the earth contains, made for your sublime
highness?" replied Mustapha, drawing from his vest a bottle of spirits.
"God is great!" said the pacha, taking the bottle from his mouth, after
a long draught, and handing it to his vizier.
"God is most merciful!" replied Mustapha, recovering his breath, and
wiping down his beard with the sleeve of his kalaat, as he respectfully
passed the bottle over to his superior.