May it please your highness, I am a Spaniard by birth, and a native of
Seville; but whether my father was a grandee, or of more humble
extraction, I cannot positively assert. All that I can establish is,
that when reason dawned, I found myself in the asylum instituted by
government, in that city, for those unfortunate beings who are brought
up upon black bread and oil, because their unnatural parents either do
not choose to incur the expense of their maintenance, or having, in the
first instance, allowed unlawful love to conquer shame, end by
permitting shame to overcome maternal love.
It is the custom, at a certain age, to put these children out to
different trades and callings; and those who show precocity of talent
are often received into the bosom of the church.
Gifted by nature with a very fine voice and correct ear for music, I was
selected to be brought up as a chorister in a Dominican convent of great
reputation. At the age of ten years, I was placed under the charge of
the leader of the choir. Under his directions, I was fully occupied
receiving my lessons in singing, or at other times performing the junior
offices of the church, such as carrying the frankincense or large wax
tapers in the processions. As a child my voice was much admired; and
after the service was over, I often received presents of sweetmeats from
the ladies, who brought them in their pockets for the little Anselmo.
As I grew up, I became a remarkable proficient in music; at the age of
twenty, I possessed a fine counter-tenor; and flattered by the
solicitations of the superior of the convent and other dignitaries of
the church, I consented to take the vows, and became a member of the
fraternity.
Although there was no want of liberty in our convent, I was permitted
even more than the rest of the monks. I gave lessons in music and
singing, and a portion of my earnings were placed in the superior's
hands for the benefit of the fraternity. Independent of this, my
reputation was spread all over Seville; and hundreds used to attend the
mass performed in our church, that they might hear the voice of brother
Anselmo. I was therefore considered as a valuable property, and the
convent would have suffered a great deal by my quitting it. Although I
could not be released from my vows, still I could by application have
been transferred to Madrid; and the superior, aware of this
circumstance, allowed me every indulgence, with the hopes of my being
persuaded to remain. The money which I retained for my own exigencies
enabled me to make friends with the porter, and I obtained egress or
ingress at any hour. I was a proficient on the guitar; and incongruous
as it may appear with my monastic vows, I often hastened from the
service at vespers to perform in a serenade to some fair senhora, whose
_inamorata_ required the powers of my voice to soften her to his wishes.
My sedillas and canzonettas were much admired; and eventually no
serenade was considered as effective, without the assistance of the
counter-tenor of Anselmo. I hardly need observe that it was very
profitable; and that I had the means of supplying myself with luxuries
which the rules of our order did not admit. I soon became irregular and
debauched; often sitting up whole nights with the young cavaliers,
drinking and singing amorous songs for their amusement. Still, however,
my conduct was not known, or was overlooked for the reasons which I have
stated before.
When once a man indulges to excess in wine, he is assailed by, and
becomes an easy prey to every other vice. This error soon led me into
others; and, regardless of my monastic vows, I often felt more inclined
to serenade upon my own account than on that of my employers. I had the
advantage of a very handsome face, but it was disguised by the shaven
crown and the unbecoming manner of cutting the hair; the coarse and
unwieldy monastic dress belonging to our order hid the symmetry of my
limbs which might have otherwise attracted notice on the Prado. I soon
perceived that, although my singing was admired by the other sex, their
admiration went no farther. They seemed to consider that in every other
point I was, as I ought to have been, dead to the world.
There was a young lady, Donna Sophia, whom I had for some time
instructed in music, who appeared to be more favourably inclined. She
was an excellent performer, and passionately fond of the science: and I
have always observed, your highness, that between the real amateurs of
harmony there is a sympathy, a description of free-masonry, which
immediately puts them on a level, and on terms of extreme intimacy; so
much so, that were I a married man, and my wife extremely partial to
music, I should be very careful how I introduced to her a person of a
similar feeling, if I possessed it not myself. I was very much in the
good graces of this young lady, and flattered myself with a successful
issue: when one day, as we were singing a duet, a handsome young officer
made his appearance. His hair, which was of the finest brown, curled in
natural ringlets: and his clothes were remarkably well-fitted to his
slender and graceful figure. He was a cousin, who had just returned
from Carthagena; and as he was remarkably attentive, I soon perceived
that all my advances had been thrown away, and that I was more and more
in the background each morning that I made my appearance.
Annoyed at this, I ventured to speak too freely; and during his absence
calumniated him to the Donna Sophia, hoping by these means to regain my
place in her affections; but I made a sad mistake: for not only were my
services dispensed with for the future, but, as I afterwards discovered,
she stated to her cousin the grounds upon which I had been dismissed.
I returned to the convent in no pleasant mood, when I was informed that
my presence had been demanded by the superior. I repaired to the
parlour, where he stated that my licentious conduct had come to his
ears; and after much upbraiding, he concluded by ordering me to submit
to a severe penance. Aware that disobedience would only be followed up
by greater severity, I bowed with humility in my mien, but indignation
in my breast; and returning to my cell, resolved upon immediately
writing for my removal to Madrid. I had not been there many minutes
when the porter brought me a note. It was from Donna Sophia, requesting
to see me that evening, and apologising for her apparent ill-usage,
which she had only assumed the better to conceal her intentions; being
afraid, at our last interview, that her mother was within hearing.
I was in raptures when I perused the note, and hastened to comply with
her request. Her directions were to repair to the back door, which
looked out upon some fields, and give three taps. I arrived, and as
soon as I raised my hand to give the signal, was seized by four men in
masks, who gagged and bound me. They then stripped off my friar's
dress, and scourged me with nettles, until I was almost frantic with the
pain. When their vengeance was satisfied, they cast me loose, removed
the gag, and ran away. As I then suspected, and afterwards discovered
to be true, I was indebted to the young officer for this treatment, in
return for what I had said, and which his mistress had repeated.
Smarting with pain, and boiling with rage, I dragged on my clothes as
well as I could, and began to reflect in what manner I should act.
Conceal my situation from the other members of the convent I could not;
and to explain it would not only be too humiliating, but subject me to
more rigorous discipline. At last I considered that out of evil might
spring good; and gathering a large bundle of the nettles which grew
under the walls, I crawled back to the convent. When I attained my
cell, I threw off my gown, which was now unbearable from the swelling of
my limbs, and commenced thrashing the walls of my cell and my bed with
the nettles which I had procured.
After a short time, I moaned piteously, and continued so to do, louder
and louder, until some of the friars got up to inquire the reason; when
they found me, apparently, castigating myself in this cruel manner.
When they opened the door, I threw myself on the bed, and cried still
more vociferously. This certainly was the only part of my conduct which
was not deceptive, for I was in the most acute agony. To their
inquiries, I told them that I had been guilty of great enormities: that
the superior had reproved me, and ordered me penance; and that I had
scourged myself with nettles; requesting them to continue the
application as my strength had failed me. With this injunction they
were too humane to comply. Some went for the surgeon of the convent,
while others reported the circumstance to the superior. The former
applied remedies which assuaged the pain: the latter was so pleased at
my apparent contrition, that he gave me absolution, and relieved me from
the penance to which I had been subjected. When I recovered, I was more
in favour, and was permitted the same indulgences as before.
But I was some days confined to my bed, during which I was continually
reflecting upon what had passed. I perceived, to my misery, the pale
which I had placed between me and the world, by embracing a monastic
life and how unfit I was, by temperament, to fulfil my vows. I cursed
my father and mother, who had been the original cause of my present
situation. I cursed the monastic dress which blazoned forth my unhappy
condition. Then I thought of the treacherous girl, and planned schemes
of revenge. I compared my personal qualifications with those of the
young officer; and vanity suggested, that were it not for my vile
professional disguise, the advantage was on my side. At last I decided
upon the steps that I would take.
As I before stated, my purse was well supplied from the lessons which I
gave in music, and from assisting at the serenades. When I was
sufficiently recovered to go out, I proceeded to a barber, and on the
plea of continual headache, for which it had been recommended that I
should shave my head, requested him to make me a false tonsure. In a
few days it was ready, and being very well made, no difference could be
perceived between the wig and my own hair, which was then removed. So
far I had succeeded; but as the greatest caution was necessary in a
proceeding of this nature, to avoid suspicion, I returned to the
convent, where I remained quiet for several days. One evening I again
sallied forth, and when it was quite dark repaired to the _friperie_
shop of a Jew, where I purchased a second-hand suit of cavalier's
clothes, which I thought would fit me. I concealed them in my cell, and
the next morning went in search of a small lodging in some obscure part,
where I might not be subject to observation. This was difficult, but I
at last succeeded in finding one to let, which opened upon a general
staircase of a house, which was appropriated to a variety of lodgers,
who were constantly passing and repassing. I paid the first month in
advance, stating, it would be occupied by a brother whom I daily
expected, and in the mean time took possession of the key. I bought a
small chest, which I conveyed to my lodgings, and having removed my
cavalier's dress from the convent, locked it up. I then remained quiet
as before, not only to avoid suspicion, but to ingratiate myself with
the superior by my supposed reformation.
After a few days I sallied forth, and leaving a note for one of the most
skilful perruquiers of Seville, desired him to call at my lodgings at an
hour indicated. Having repaired there to be ready to receive him, I
took off my monk's dress and false tonsure, which I locked up in my
chest; I tied a silk handkerchief round my head and got into bed,
leaving my cavalier's suit on the chair near to me. The perruquier
knocked at the appointed time. I desired him to come in, apologised for
my servant being absent on a message, and stating that I had been
obliged to shave my head on account of a fever, from which I had now
recovered, requested that he would provide me with a handsome wig. I
explained at his request the colour and description of hair which I had
lost; and in so doing, represented it as much lighter than my own really
was, and similar to that of the young officer, whose ringlets had been
the cause of my last disaster. I paid him a part of the price down, and
having agreed upon the exact time at which it should be delivered, he
departed; when I rose from my bed, I resumed my monastic dress and
tonsure, and returned to the convent.
During the whole of the time occupied by these transactions, I had been
assiduous in laying up money, which before I had squandered as fast as I
obtained it, and had realised a considerable sum. I could not help
comparing myself to a chrysalis previous to its transformation. I had
before been a caterpillar, I was now all ready to burst my confinement,
and flit about as a gaudy butterfly. Another week I continued my
prudent conduct, at the end of which I was admitted to my superior, in
whose hands I placed a sum of money which I could very conveniently
spare, and received his benediction and commendations for having weaned
myself from my former excesses. With a quickened pulse I hastened to my
lodgings, and throwing off my hateful gown and tonsure, dressed myself
in my new attire.
The transformation was complete. I could not recognise myself. I
hardly could believe that the dashing young cavalier that confronted me
in the mirror was the brother Anselmo. "Is this a face," said I,
communing with myself, "to be disfigured with a vile tonsure? are these
limbs to be hid under the repulsive garment of a monk?" Again I
surveyed myself, and it was with difficulty that I could tear myself
away from contemplating my metamorphosis. I was indeed a butterfly. At
last I determined upon sallying forth. I locked up my monastic dress
and descended the staircase. I must acknowledge that it was with
trepidation I ventured into the street, but I had soon reason to take
confidence, for I was met by one of my most intimate friends, who looked
in my face and passed on without the slightest recognition. Overjoyed
at this circumstance, I took courage, and boldly proceeded to the Prado,
where I was greeted with favourable glances from the women, and sneers
from the men, both of which I considered equally flattering. In the
evening I returned to my lodgings, resumed the habit of my order, and
gained the convent. I now felt that there was no chance of discovery,
and anticipated the happiness which had been denied me. I subsequently
ordered the most fashionable and expensive clothes, hired my lodgings
for six months, assumed the name of Don Pedro, made the acquaintance of
many young men, and amongst others of the officer who had treated me so
ill. He took a fancy to me, which I encouraged to further my views. I
became his confidant, he informed me of his amour with his cousin,
adding that he was tired of the business, and wished to break with her;
also, as an excellent joke, the punishment which he had inflicted upon
the friar Anselmo.
He was a great proficient with the small sword, an accomplishment which,
of course, had been neglected in my education, and which I accounted for
by stating, that until the death of my elder brother I had been intended
for the church. I accepted his offer to be my instructor, and my first
rudiments in the science were received from him. Afterwards I applied
to a professor, and constantly practising, in the course of a few months
I knew, from occasional trials of skill with the officer, that I was his
superior. My revenge, which hitherto had been controlled, was now ripe.
But in narrating my adventures abroad, it must not be supposed that I
neglected every thing that prudence or caution could suggest to avoid
discovery. On the contrary, now that I had the means of enjoying
myself, I was more careful that I did not by any indiscretion excite
surmises. I generally devoted four days out of the seven in the week to
the convent and to my professional occupation as music-master. To
increase the difficulty of identification, I became more serious in my
manner, more dirty in my person, as the brother Anselmo. I pretended to
have imbibed a fancy for snuff, with which I soiled my face and monastic
attire, and seldom if ever spoke, or if I did, in a very solemn voice.
So far from suspicion, I every day gained more and more the good will of
the superior. My absence in the day-time was not noticed, as it was
known that I gave lessons in music, and my irregularity during the night
was a secret between the porter and myself.
I hardly need observe that, as Don Pedro, I always lamented not having
been gifted with a voice, and have even in the presence of my
companions, sent a billet to brother Anselmo to serenade a lady whom I
courted as Don Pedro. I do not believe until ulterior circumstances,
that there was ever in the mind of any the slightest idea that, under my
dissimilar habits, I was one and the same person.
But to continue: one day the young officer, whose name was Don Lopez,
informed me that he did not know how to act; he was so pestered with the
jealousy and reproaches of his mistress, and requested my advice as to
how to proceed. I laughed at his dilemma. "My dear Lopez," replied I,
"introduce me to her, and depend upon it that she will give you no more
trouble. I will make love to her, and pleased with her new conquest she
will soon forget you."
"My good fellow," replied he, "your advice is excellent: will you come
with me this afternoon?"
Once more I was in the presence of her whom I had loved, but loved no
more, for I now only felt and lived for revenge. She had not the most
distant recognition of me. Piqued as she was with Don Lopez, and
fascinated with my exertions to please, I soon gained an interest; but
she still loved him between the paroxysms of her hate. Trying all she
could to recover him at one moment, and listening to my attentions at
another, he at last accused her of perfidy and took his leave for ever.
Then her violence broke out, and as a proof of my attachment, she
demanded that I should call him to account. I wished no better, and
pretending to be so violently attached to her that I was infatuated, I
took occasion of his laughing at me to give him the lie, and demand
satisfaction. As it was in the presence of others, there was no recal
or explanation allowed. We met by agreement, alone, in the very field
where I received my chastisement; I brought with me my monastic habit
and tonsure, which I concealed before his arrival among the very nettles
which he had gathered for my chastisement. The conflict was not long;
after a few thrusts and parries he lay dying at my feet. I immediately
threw over my dress that of the friar, and exchanging the wig for the
tonsure, stood by him. He opened his eyes, which had closed from the
fainting occasioned by the sudden gush from his wound, and looked at me
with amazement.
"Yes, Don Lopez," said I, "in Don Pedro behold the friar Anselmo; he
whom you scourged with nettles; he who has revenged the insult." I then
threw off the monk's dress, and exposed to him the other beneath it, and
changing my tonsure for the wig, "Now you are convinced of the truth,"
added I, "and now I have my revenge."
"I am, I am," replied he faintly; "but if you have slain me as Don
Pedro, now that I am dying I entreat you, as brother Anselmo, to give me
absolution. Carry not your revenge so far as to deny me this."
I could not refuse, and I gave absolution in the one costume to the man
who had fallen by my hand in the other: for my own part I thought it was
an absurdity, but my revenge was satisfied, and I would not refuse him
such a poor consolation.
A few minutes afterwards he expired, and I hastened to my lodgings,
changed my dress, and repaired to the convent, where as Don Pedro I
wrote to Donna Sophia, in forming her of what had taken place, and of my
having absconded until the hue and cry should be over. For three weeks
I remained in the convent, or only appeared abroad as the father
Anselmo. I brought a considerable sum to the superior for the use of
the church, partly to satisfy the qualms of conscience which assailed me
for the crime which I had committed; partly that I might continue in his
good graces.
At the expiration of the time I sent a note to the young lady, as from
Don Pedro, acquainting her with my return, and my intention to call upon
her in the dusk of the evening. I went to my lodgings, dressed myself
as Don Pedro, and tapping at her door was admitted; but instead of being
cordially greeted, as I expected, I was repulsed, loaded with abuse, and
declared an object of detestation. It appeared that, although in her
rage at the desertion of her lover, she had listened to the dictates of
revenge, now that he was no more all her affection for him had revived.
I returned her upbraiding, and quitted the room to leave the house; but
she had no intention that I should escape, and had stationed two of her
relations below, ready to intercept me.
She called to them as I descended the stairs; when I arrived at the
hall, I found them with drawn swords to dispute my passage. I had no
resource but to fight my way; and charging them furiously, I severely
wounded one, and shortly afterwards disarmed the other, just as the
enraged fair one, who perceived that I was gaining the day, had run
behind me and seized my arms; but she was too late: I threw her
indignantly upon the wounded man, and walked out of the house. As soon
as I was in the street, I took to my heels, gained my lodgings, changed
my dress, and repaired to the convent.
This adventure sobered me much. I now remained quiet for some months,
never assuming my dress as Don Pedro, lest the officers of justice
should lay hold of me. I became more rigid and exact in my duties, and
more austere in my manner.
The several confessional chairs in our church were usually occupied by
the senior monks, although, when absent from sickness or other causes,
the juniors occasionally supplied their place. One of the monks had
been taken ill, and I knew that the mother of the young lady, who was
very strict in her religious duties, confessed at that chair every
Friday; I took possession of it, with the hopes that I should find out
some means of prosecuting my revenge. The young lady also confessed at
the same chair, when she did come, which was but seldom. Since the
death of her lover, she had never made her appearance.
As I anticipated, the mother came, and after having run over a string of
peccadilloes, for which I ordered a slight penance, I inquired, through
the punctured communication on the side of the confessional chair,
whether she had not children, to which she answered in the affirmative.
I then asked, when her daughter had confessed last. She mentioned a
long date, and I commenced a serious expostulation upon the neglect of
parents, desiring that her daughter might be brought to confess, or
otherwise I should be obliged to inflict a penance of some hundred
Pater-Nosters and Ave-Marias upon herself, for not attending to her
parental duties. The old lady, who had no wish to submit to her own
penance, promised to bring her daughter the next day, and she was true
to her word. Donna Sophia appeared to come very unwillingly. As soon
as she had taken her seat by the confessional chair, she made a
confession of a hundred little nothings, and having finished her
catalogue, stopped as if waiting for absolution.
"Have you made no reservation?" inquired I, in the low muttering tone
which is used at the confessional; for although neither party can
distinguish the person of the other, I did not wish her to recognise my
voice.
"Everything," replied she, in a faint whisper.
"My daughter," replied I, "by your trembling answer, I know that you are
deceiving yourself and me. I am an old man, and have been too many
years in this chair, not to ascertain by the answers which I receive,
whether the conscience is unloaded. Yours, I am convinced, has
something pressing heavily upon it; something for which you would fain
have absolution, but which you are ashamed to reveal. If not a
principal, you have been a party to crime; and never shall you have
absolution until you have made a full confession." Her heart swelled
with emotion, she attempted to speak, and burst into tears. "These are
harbingers of good," observed I; "I am now convinced that my supposition
was correct: pour out your soul in tribulation, and receive that comfort
which I am empowered to bestow. Courage, my daughter! the best of us
are but grievous sinners." As soon as she could check her sobbing, she
commenced her confession; narrating her penchant for me, her subsequent
attachment to the young officer, my abuse of him, and the punishment
which had ensued--his desertion, the introduction of Don Pedro, her
pique at having instigated him to kill her lover, his death, and all
that I have narrated to your highness.
"These are serious crimes, my daughter! grievous indeed; you have
yielded to the tempter in your own person, caused the death of one man,
you have led another astray, and have deceived him, when he claimed the
reward of his iniquity; but all these are trifles compared to the
offence upon the holy monk, which is the worst of sacrilege. And what
was his fault? that he cautioned you against a person, whose subsequent
conduct has proved, that the worthy man was correct in his suppositions.
"In every way you have offended Heaven; a whole life will be scarce
sufficient for the task of repentance, laying aside the enormous crime
of sacrilege, which, in justice, ought to be referred to the
inquisition. Excommunication is more fitting in your case than
absolution." I waited some time before I again spoke, during which she
sobbed bitterly. "My daughter," observed I, "before I can decide upon
what is to be done to save you from everlasting perdition, it is
necessary that you humble yourself before the religious man, whose
person you have abused. Send to the convent to which he belongs, and
entreat him to come; and when you have confessed your crime, offer to
him the same implements of punishment, which through your instigation
were so sacrilegiously applied. Submit to his sentence, and the penance
which he may prescribe. When you have done that, repair again to me. I
shall be in this chair the day after to-morrow."
The girl muffled up her face, waited a few minutes to compose herself,
and then returned to her mother, who wondered what could have detained
her so long.
That evening, I received a note from Donna Sophia, requesting me to call
on the ensuing day. I found her in her room, she had been weeping
bitterly, and when I entered coloured up with shame and vexation; but
she had been too much frightened on the day before, to resist the
injunctions which she had received: a large bundle of nettles lay on the
chair; and when I entered she turned the key of the door, and falling
down on her knees, with many tears made a full confession. I expressed
the utmost horror and surprise; she embraced my knees, implored my
pardon, and then, pointing to the nettles, requested I would use them if
I thought proper. Having said this, she covered her face with her
hands, and remained on her knees in silence.
I must confess, that when I called to mind the punishment which had been
inflicted on me through her means, and the manner in which she had
attempted to betray me to my death, I felt very much inclined to revenge
myself by scourging her severely; but although the affection I once felt
for her had passed away, I had a natural tenderness for the sex, which
made me abandon this petty revenge. My object was to remove her, so
that I might not be recognised in my worldly attire; and she, I knew,
was the only person who could prove that I had killed her lover. I
therefore raised her up, and telling her that I was satisfied with her
repentance, and, as far as I was personally concerned, forgave her ill
treatment, desired her to repair to her confessor, who was the proper
person to award a punishment for such a catalogue of heinous crimes.
The next day I was in the confessional, when she narrated all that had
passed: I then told her she had nothing to do, but to propitiate Heaven
by dedicating her musical talents to its service; pointing out, that her
only chance of salvation was from immediately taking the veil. I
refused to listen to any other species of penance, however severe, for
which she gladly would have compromised the sentence. Goaded by her
conscience, miserable at the desertion and death of her lover, and
alarmed at the threats of excommunication, in less than a week she
repaired to the Ursuline Convent; and, after a short probation, she took
the veil, and was admitted as one of the sisterhood.
As soon as my only accuser was fairly locked up, I occasionally resumed
my dress and wig. I say occasionally, because in the society which I
chiefly delighted in, and in which I became the connoisseur of good
wine, that I asserted myself to be, when your highness overheard me, I
had no occasion for it, being quite as well received when I sang and
played the guitar in my monkish dress, as I should have been in my
other. Besides which, I never had to pay when in that costume, as I was
obliged to do when I sported the other; which was only put on when I
wished to make myself agreeable to any fair one. I hardly need observe,
that I took great care to avoid the society in the one dress with which
I mixed in the other. This disguise I continued very successfully for
three years, when a circumstance occurred, which ended in my discovery,
and my eventually becoming a slave in your highness's dominions.
For some time I had taught the niece of an elderly lady, who was of
noble family and very rich. The aunt was always present at the lessons;
and, knowing that she was very devout, I rejected all songs that were of
an amorous tendency, and would only practise such as were unimpeachable.
In my demeanour I was always sedate and respectful--full of humility,
and self-accusation. When I received my money from the old lady, I used
to thank her in the name of our convent, for whose use it was to be
appropriated, and call her donation a charity, for which Heaven would
reward her. Her confessor died, and the old lady chose me to supply his
place. This was what I was anxious to obtain, and I redoubled my zeal,
my humility, and my flattery.
It was not that I had originally any design upon the affections of the
niece, although she was a very pretty girl, but upon the old lady's
purse, for I knew that she could not last for many years. On the
contrary, I was anxious, if possible, to have the niece removed, as it
was supposed that she would inherit the old lady's doubloons; but this
required time and opportunity, and, in the meanwhile, I assiduously
cultivated the old lady's good graces. She used to confess once a week;
and I often observed that she acknowledged as a sin, thinking too much
of one who had led her from her duty in former days, and for whom she
still felt too much worldly passion. One evening when the clock had
struck ten, we had laid down the cards, which we occasionally played, it
being the day and her usual hour for confessing. Again she repeated the
same offence, and I then delicately hinted, that she might be more at
ease if she were to confide to me the circumstances connected with her
compunctions. She hesitated; but on my pointing out to her that there
ought to be no reservation, and that the acknowledgment of the
compunction arising from a sin was not that of the sin itself, she
acquiesced. Her confession referred to her early days, when, attached
to a young cavalier, against the wishes of her parents, under a solemn
promise of marriage, she had consented to receive him into her chamber.
The intercourse continued for some time, when it was discovered. Her
lover had been way-laid and murdered by her relations, and she had been
thrown into a convent. There she had been confined, and the child
removed as soon as it was born: she had resisted all the force and
threats employed to induce her to take the veil; and at the death of her
father had been released and came into possession of her property, of
which they could not deprive her: that she made every endeavour to find
out to where her child had been removed, and at last discovered that it
had been sent to the Foundling Asylum; but this information was not
obtained until some years afterwards, and all the children sent there at
the period had been dispersed. Never having married, her thoughts would
revert to the scenes which had taken place with her adored Felix,
although years had rolled away, and she felt that she was wrong to dwell
upon what in itself had been so criminal.
I listened to her story with great interest, for the idea occurred to
me, that I might be the unfortunate offspring of their loves, and if
not, that in all probability the old lady might be induced so to
believe. I inquired whether her child had any marks by which he could
be recognised. She answered, that she made most particular inquiries of
the people who attended her, and that one of the women had stated that
the child had a large wart upon the back of its neck: this however was
not likely to remain, and she had abandoned all hopes of its discovery.
I observed that warts were easily removed when contracted accidentally,
but that those which appeared at the birth were no more to be removed
than moles. I then turned the conversation, by stating, that I could
not consider her conduct criminal; it was more than could be expected
from human nature, that she should not retain affection for one who had
lived with her as a husband, and died for her sake. I gave her
absolution for half a dozen Ave-Marias, and took my leave for the night.
When I lay on my pallet, I reflected upon what had passed; the year and
month agreed exactly with the time at which I had been sent to the
Asylum. A wart, as she very truly observed, might disappear. Might not
I be the very son whom she was lamenting? The next morning I repaired
to the Asylum, and demanded the date of my reception, with all the
particulars, which were invariably registered in case of the infants
being eventually claimed. It was in the month of February. There was
one other entry in the same month, same day, and nearly the same hour as
my own.
"At nine at night, a male infant left at the door in a basket, parties
absconded, no marks, named Anselmo."
"At ten at night, a male infant brought to the door in a capote, parties
absconded, no marks, named Jacobo."
It appeared then that there were two children brought within an hour of
each other to the Asylum, and that I was one of them. In the evening I
returned to the old lady, and accidentally resumed the subject of her
not having made further search for her child, and asked if she had the
precise date. She answered that she had it in her memory too well, that
it was on the 18th of February; and that when she referred to the
Asylum, they had informed her that the children brought in February had
no marks; that they had all been sent away, but where they could not
tell, as the former governor had died, and he was the only person who
could give the information. That either I or the other was her child
was clear, but to prove which, was impossible. It however made me less
scrupulous about my plan of proceeding, which was to identify myself
with the child she had lost. It was useless to prove that I was sent in
on that day as there was a competitor; besides which, my monastic vows
were at variance with my speculation: I therefore resolved to satisfy
her, if I could not satisfactorily prove it to myself or to the rest of
the world, and I took my measures accordingly.
It was in my worldly disguise, that I determined to attempt my purpose;
and as it was necessary to have a wart on my neck, I resolved to obtain
one as soon as possible. This was easily managed: a friar of the
convent was troubled with these excrescences, and I jocularly proposed a
trial to see whether it was true that the blood of them would inoculate.
In a fortnight, I had a wart on my finger which soon became large, and
I then applied the blood of it to my neck. Within three months I had a
large wart on the back of my neck, or rather a conglomeration of them,
which I had produced by inoculation, assisted by constant irritation:
during this period I was not so frequent in my attendance upon the old
lady, excusing myself on account of the duties of the convent which
devolved upon me. The next point was, how to introduce myself in my
other apparel. This required some reflection, as it would be but
occasionally that I could make my appearance. After some reflection, I
determined that the niece should assist me, for I knew that even if I
succeeded in my plans, she would be a participator in the property which
I wished to secure. Often left in her company, I took opportunities of
talking of a young friend whom I highly extolled. When I had raised her
curiosity, I mentioned in a laughing manner, that I suspected he was
very much smitten with her charms, as I had often found him watching at
the house opposite. An admirer is always a source of gratification to a
young girl; her vanity was flattered, and she asked me many particulars.
I answered them so as to inflame her curiosity, describing his person
in a very favourable manner, and extolling his good qualities. I also
minutely described his dress. After the music lesson was over, I
returned to my lodgings, arrayed myself in my best suit, and putting on
my curling ringlets, walked up and down before the window of the house.
The niece soon recognised me as the person whose dress and appearance I
had so minutely described, one moment showing herself at the window, at
another darting away with all the coquetry of her sex. I perceived that
she was flattered with her conquest; and, after parading myself for a
short time, I disappeared.
When I called the next day in my monastic costume, I had a billet-doux
ready in my pocket. The singing commenced: I soon found out that she
had a prepossession, from her selecting a song which in the presence of
her aunt I should have put on one side, but it now suited my purpose
that she should be indulged. When the aunt made her appearance we
stopped, and commenced another: by this little ruse I became a sort of
confidant, and the intimacy which I desired was brought about. When we
had practised two or three songs, Donna Celia, the aunt, left the room:
I then observed that I had seen the young cavalier whom I had mentioned,
and that he appeared to be more infatuated than ever: that he had
requested me as a favour to speak on his behalf, but that I had
threatened to acquaint her aunt if he mentioned the subject; for I
considered that my duty as a confessor in the family would be very
irreconcilable with carrying clandestine love messages. I acknowledged
that I pitied his condition; for to see the tears that he shed, and
listen to the supplications which he had made, would have softened
almost anybody; but that notwithstanding my great regard for him, I
thought it inconsistent with my duty to interfere in such a business: I
added, that he had told me that he had walked before the house yesterday
afternoon, with the hopes of meeting one of the servants, whom he might
bribe to convey a letter; and that I had threatened to acquaint Donna
Celia if he mentioned the subject again. Donna Clara (for such was her
name) appeared very much annoyed at my pretended rigour, but said
nothing. After a little while, I asked her if she had seen him; she
replied in the affirmative without further remarks. Her work-box lay
upon the sofa, upon which she had been seated, and I put the note in it
without being perceived. The lesson was finished, and I repaired to her
aunt's apartments to pay her a visit in the quality of confessor. After
half-an-hour's conversation, I returned through the saloon, where I had
left Donna Clara: she was at her embroidery, and had evidently seen and
read the note, for she coloured up when I entered. I took no notice,
but, satisfied that she had read it, I bade her adieu. In the note, I
had implored her for an answer, and stated that I should be under her
window during the whole night. As soon as it was dark, I dressed myself
as Don Pedro, and repaired to the street, striking a few notes on the
guitar to attract her attention. I remained there more than
half-an-hour, when the casement opened, and a little hand threw out a
billet, which fell at my feet: I kissed it with apparent rapture, and
retired. When I gained my lodgings, I opened it, and found it as
favourable as I could hope. My plan then was to act as her confidant.
When I called the next day, I told her that, satisfied with the
honourable intentions of the young cavalier, he had overcome my
scruples, and I had consented to speak in his behalf: that I thought it
was not right; but the state of the young man was so deplorable, that I
could not withstand his entreaties; but that I expected that no steps
would be taken by either party without my concurrence; and with this
proviso, if she was pleased with the young cavalier, I would exert my
influence in their behalf. Donna Clara's face beamed with delight at my
communication: and she candidly acknowledged, as she had before in the
note, that his person and his character were by no means displeasing. I
then produced another note, which I said he had prevailed upon me to
deliver. After this, affairs went on successfully. I repeatedly met
her in the evening; and although I at first was indifferent, yet I soon
became attached from the many amiable and endearing qualities which love
had brought to light. She one day observed that there was a strong
resemblance between Don Pedro and me, but the possibility of a serious
shaven monk, and a gay cavalier with his curling locks, being one and
the same person, never entered her head. When I considered matters
ripe, I called upon Donna Celia, and, with the preamble that I had
something of importance to communicate, informed her I had discovered
that a young man was attached to her niece; and that I strongly
suspected the regard was reciprocal; that I knew the young cavalier very
well, who was very amiable, and possessed many good qualities, but there
seemed to be a mystery about his family, as he never mentioned them. I
ended by observing, that I considered it my duty to acquaint her with
the circumstance; as, if she objected to the match, or had other views
for her niece, an immediate stop ought to be put to the correspondence.
The old lady was very much astonished at the information, and very angry
that her niece should have presumed to make an acquaintance without her
knowledge. I waited until she had said all she could think of, and then
calmly took up the right of a confessor, pointing out that she had
herself fallen into the same error in her youthful days; that the young
man had confessed to me that his views were honourable; but had not an
idea, at the time, that I was acquainted with the family. Donna Celia
then appeared to be more pacified, and asked many questions: all that
she seemed to object to, was the mystery about his family, which at her
request I promised to clear up before any other steps should be taken.
Cautioning her against any violence of language to her niece, I took my
leave. As I went out I spoke a few words to Clara, informing her of the
_denouement_ which had taken place, and recommending her by no means to
irritate her aunt, but to be very penitent when she was reproved. Clara
obeyed my injunctions, and the next day, when I called, I found her
sitting by the side of Donna Celia, who was apparently reconciled. I
motioned Clara out of the room, when Donna Celia informed me that she
had acknowledged her error; and as she had promised for the future to be
regulated by her advice, she had overlooked her indiscretion. When she
had finished: "Prepare yourself, madam," said I, "for strange tidings--
the ways of Heaven are wonderful. Last evening I had an explanation
with the young cavalier, Don Pedro, and he proves to be--that son whose
loss you have so much lamented."
"Merciful Heaven!" cried the old lady, and she fainted away. As soon as
she recovered, she cried out, "Oh where is he! bring him to me--let a
mother's eyes be blessed with his sight--let the yearnings of a mother's
heart be recompensed in his embraces--let the tears of affection be wept
upon his bosom."
"Calm yourself, my dear madam," replied I: "the proofs you have not yet
seen. First be satisfied, and then indulge in your delightful
anticipation. When I pressed Don Pedro upon the subject of his family,
I told him candidly that his only chance of success was unlimited
confidence: he acknowledged that he had been sent to the Asylum when an
infant, and that he did not know his parents; that the mystery and
consequent stigma on his birth had been a source of mortification to him
through life. I asked him if he knew his age, or had a copy of the
register of his reception. He took it out of a small cabinet; it was on
the 18th of February, in the same year that your child was sent there.
Still as I was not sure, I stated that I would call upon him this
morning, and see what could be done; assuring him that his candid avowal
had created strong interest in his favour. This morning I repaired to
the Asylum, when I examined the register. Two children were brought in
on that night: here is the extract, and I feel much mortified, as you
will observe, that no marks are mentioned. If, therefore, the wart you
spoke of was not still remaining, the uncertainty would have been as
great as ever. When I returned to him about an hour since, I renewed
the subject, and stated that I thought it was the custom to make a note
of any particular marks upon the children, by which they might be
eventually reclaimed. He replied that it was customary when they were
indelible, but not otherwise: that he had no indelible mark, although a
large wart had been on the back of his neck as long as he could
remember; `but,' added he, `it is of no use,--all hopes of finding my
parents have long since been abandoned, and I must submit to my
unfortunate destiny. I have thought upon what has passed, and I feel
that I have acted wrong. Without family and without name, what right
have I to aspire to the hand of any young lady of good parentage? I
have made the resolution to conquer my feelings; and before the intimacy
has been carried on to an extent that a rupture would occasion any pangs
to her that I adore, I will retire from Seville, and lament in solitude
my unfortunate condition.'
"`Are you capable of making such a sacrifice, Don Pedro?' said I. `I
am, Father Anselmo,' replied he: `I will always act as a man of honour
and of family, although I cannot prove my descent.'
"`Then,' said I, `Don Pedro, do me the favour to call upon me this
evening at my convent, and I hope to have some pleasing intelligence to
impart.' I then left him, to come here and acquaint you with the joyful
discovery."
"But why did you not bring him here immediately?" cried Donna Celia.
"Madam, I have important duties at my convent which will occupy me with
the superior till late at night. These must be attended to; and it is
not impossible that the affairs of our convent may require my absence
for some time, as there are new leases of our lands to be granted, and I
have reason to expect that the superior may despatch me on that
business. I will acquaint the young man with what has been discovered,
and will then send him to your arms; but it were advisable that you
allow a few hours to repose after the agitation which you have
undergone, and previous to the affecting scene that will naturally take
place. I wish I could be present; for it is not often, in this world,
that we can witness the best affections of the heart in their virtuous
action."
I then took my leave, requesting Donna Celia to inform her niece of the
circumstances, as I presumed there would now be no obstacle to the
mutual attachment of the young people.
My reason for an early departure was that I might arrange the story I
should tell, when, as Don Pedro, my new mother would demand from me the
events of my life. I had also to request leave of absence, which I
obtained in expectation of some property being left to the convent by an
elderly gentleman residing at Alicant, who was expected to die, and from
whom I produced a letter, requesting my presence. As I was on the best
terms with the superior, and there was a prospect of obtaining money,
his consent was given. That I should be there in time, I was permitted
to depart that evening. I took my leave of the superior, and the rest
of the monks, intending never to return, and hastened to my lodgings,
where I threw off my monastic habit, which from that hour has never been
resumed. I repaired to Donna Celia's house, was admitted and ushered
into a room, to await her arrival. My person had been set off to the
best advantage. I had put on a new wig, a splendid velvet cloak, silk
doublet and hose; and as I surveyed myself for a second or two in the
mirror, I felt the impossibility of recognition, mingled with pride at
my handsome contour. The door opened, and Donna Celia came in,
trembling with anxiety. I threw myself on my knees, and in a voice
apparently choked with emotion, demanded her blessing. She tottered to
the sofa overpowered by her feelings; and still remaining on my knees, I
seized her hand, which I covered with kisses.
"It is--it is my child," cried she at last; "all powerful nature would
have told me so, if it had not been proved," and she threw her arms
round my neck, as she bent over me and shed tears of gratitude and
delight. I do assure your highness that I caught the infection, and
mingled my tears with hers; for I felt then, and I even now firmly
believe, that I was her son. Although my conscience for a moment
upbraided me, during a scene which brought back virtuous feelings to my
breast, I could not but consider, that a deception which could produce
so much delight and joy, was almost pardonable. I took my seat beside
her, and she kissed me again and again, as one minute she would hold me
off to look at me, and the next strain me in her embraces.
"You are the image of your father, Pedro," observed she, mournfully,
"but God's will be done. If he has taken away, he also hath given, and
truly grateful am I for his bounty." When we had in some degree
recovered our agitation, I intreated her to narrate to me the history of
my father, of whom I had heard but little from the good brother Anselmo,
and she repeated to me those events of her youthful days which she had
communicated before.
"But you have not been introduced to Clara: the naughty girl little
thought that she was carrying on an amour with her own cousin."
When Donna Celia called her down, I made no scruple of pressing the dear
girl to my heart, and implanting a kiss upon her lips: with our eyes
beaming with love and joy, we sat down upon the sofa, I in the centre,
with a hand locked in the hand of each. "And now, my dear Pedro, I am
anxious to hear the narrative of your life," said Donna Celia: "that it
has been honourable to yourself, I feel convinced." Thanking her for
her good opinion, which I hoped neither what had passed, or might in
future occur, would be the means of removing, I commenced the history of
my life in the following words...
"Commenced the history of your life?" interrupted the pacha. "Does the
slave laugh at our beards? What then is all this you have been telling
us?"
"The truth, your highness," replied the Spaniard.
"What I am about to tell, is the history of my life, which I invented to
deceive the old lady Donna Celia, and which is all false."
"I understand, Mustapha, this kafir is a regular kessehgou [Eastern
story-teller], he makes one story breed another; but it is late; see
that he attends to-morrow afternoon, Bero! Go, infidel, the muezzin
calls to prayers."
The Spaniard quitted the sublime presence, and in obedience to the call
of the muezzin, the pacha and Mustapha paid their customary evening
devotions--to the bottle.