_A Table with Wine_, _Brandy_, _Pipes and Tobacco_.
Peachum, Lockit.
_Lockit_. The Coronation Account, Brother _Peachum_, is of so intricate
a nature, that I believe it will never be settled.
_Peachum_. It consists indeed of a great Variety of Articles.—It was
worth to our People, in Fees of different kinds, above ten
Instalments.—This is part of the Account, Brother, that lies open before
us.
_Lockit_. A Lady’s Tail of rich Brocade:—that, I see, is dispos’d of.
_Peachum_. To Mrs. _Diana Trapes_, the Tally-Woman, and she will make a
good Hand on’t in Shoes and Slippers, to trick out young Ladies, upon
their going into Keeping.—
_Lockit_. But I don’t see any Article of the Jewels.
_Peachum_. Those are so well known that they must be sent abroad—You’ll
find them enter’d under the Article of Exportation.—As for the
Snuff-Boxes, Watches, Swords, &c.—I thought it best to enter them under
their several Heads.
_Lockit_. Seven and twenty Women’s Pockets complete; with the several
things therein contain’d; all Seal’d, Number’d, and Enter’d.
_Peachum_. But, Brother, it is impossible for us now to enter upon this
Affair,—We should have the whole Day before us.—Besides, the Account of
the last Half Year’s Plate is in a Book by itself, which lies at the
other Office.
_Lockit_. Bring us then more Liquor—To-day shall be for
Pleasure—To-morrow for Business—Ah, Brother, those Daughters of ours are
two slippery Hussies—Keep a watchful Eye upon _Polly_, and _Macheath_ in
a Day or two shall be our own again.
AIR XLIV. Down in the North Country, &c.
Lockit. _What Gudgeons are we Men_!
_Ev’ry Woman’s easy Prey_.
_Though we have felt the Hook_, _agen_
_We bite and they betray_.
_The Bird that hath been trapt_,
_When he hears his calling Mate_,
_To her he flies_, _again he’s clapt_
_Within the wiry Grate_.
_Peachum_. But what signifies catching the Bird, if your Daughter _Lucy_
will set open the Door of the Cage?
_Lockit_. If men were answerable for the Follies and Frailties of their
Wives and Daughters, no Friends could keep a good Correspondence together
for two Days.—This in unkind of you, Brother; for among good Friends,
what they say or do goes for nothing.
_Enter a Servant_.
_Servant_. Sir, here’s Mrs. _Diana Trapes_ wants to speak with you.
_Peachum_. Shall we admit her, Brother _Lockit_?
_Lockit_. By all means,—She’s a good Customer, and a fine-spoken
Woman—And a Woman who drinks and talks so freely, will enliven the
Conversation.
_Peachum_. Desire her to walk in.
[_Exit Servant_.
Peachum, Lockit, _Mrs._ Trapes.
_Peachum_. Dear Mrs. _Dye_, your Servant—One may know by your Kiss, that
your Ginn is excellent.
_Mrs. Trapes_. I was always very curious in my Liquors.
_Lockit_. There is no perfum’d Breath like it—I have been long
acquainted with the Flavour of those Lips—Han’t I, Mrs. _Dye_.
_Mrs. Trapes_. Fill it up—I take as large Draughts of Liquor, as I did
of Love.—I hate a Flincher in either.
AIR XLV. A Shepherd kept Sheep, &c.
_In the Days of my Youth I could bill like a Dove_, fa, la, la, &c.
_Like a Sparrow at all times was ready for Love_, fa, la, la, &c.
_The Life of all Mortals in Kissing should pass_,
_Lip to Lip while we’re young_—_then the Lip to the Glass_, fa, la,
&c.
But now, Mr. _Peachum_, to our Business.—If you have Blacks of any kind,
brought in of late; Mantoes—Velvet Scarfs—Petticoats—Let it be what it
will—I am your Chap—for all my Ladies are very fond of Mourning.
_Peachum_. Why, look ye, Mrs. _Dye_—you deal so hard with us, that we
can afford to give the Gentlemen, who venture their Lives for the Goods,
little or nothing.
_Mrs. Trapes_. The hard Times oblige me to go very near in my
Dealing.—To be sure, of late Years I have been a great Sufferer by the
Parliament.—Three thousand Pounds would hardly make me amends.—The Act
for destroying the Mint, was a severe Cut upon our Business—’Till then,
if a Customer stept out of the way—we knew where to have her—No doubt you
know Mrs. _Coaxer_—there’s a Wench now (’till to-day) with a good Suit of
Clothes of mine upon her Back, and I could never set Eyes upon her for
three Months together.—Since the Act too against Imprisonment for small
Sums, my Loss there too hath been very considerable, and it must be so,
when a Lady can borrow a handsom Petticoat, or a clean Gown, and I not
have the least Hank upon her! And, o’ my Conscience, now-a-days most
Ladies take a Delight in cheating, when they can do it with Safety.
_Peachum_. Madam, you had a handsom Gold Watch of us ’tother Day for
seven Guineas.—Considering we must have our Profit.—To a Gentleman upon
the Road, a Gold Watch will be scarce worth the taking.
_Mrs. Trapes_. Consider, Mr. _Peachum_, that Watch was remarkable, and
not of very safe Sale.—If you have any black Velvet Scarfs—they are a
handsom Winter-wear, and take with most Gentlemen who deal with my
Customers.—’Tis I that put the Ladies upon a good Foot. ’Tis not Youth
or Beauty that fixes their Price. The Gentlemen always pay according to
their Dress, from half a Crown to two Guineas; and yet those Hussies make
nothing of bilking of me.—Then too, allowing for Accidents.—I have eleven
fine Customers now down under the Surgeon’s Hands—what with Fees and
other Expenses, there are great Goings-out, and no Comings in, and not a
Farthing to pay for at least a Month’s Clothing.—We run great
Risques—great Risques indeed.
_Peachum_. As I remember, you said something just now of Mrs. _Coaxer_.
_Mrs. Trapes_. Yes, Sir.—To be sure I stript her of a Suit of my own
Clothes about two Hours ago; and have left her as she should be, in her
Shift, with a Lover of hers at my House. She call’d him up Stairs, as he
was going to _Mary-bone_ in a Hackney Coach.—And I hope, for her own sake
and mine, she will persuade the Captain to redeem her, for the Captain is
very generous to the Ladies.
_Lockit_. What Captain?
_Mrs. Trapes_. He thought I did not know him—An intimate Acquaintance of
yours, Mr. _Peachum_—Only Captain _Macheath_—as fine as a Lord.
_Peachum_. To-morrow, dear Mrs. _Dye_, you shall set your own Price upon
any of the Goods you like—We have at least half a Dozen Velvet Scarfs,
and all at your Service. Will you give me leave to make you a Present of
this Suit of Night-clothes for your own wearing?—But are you sure it is
Captain _Macheath_.
_Mrs. Trapes_. Though he thinks I have forgot him; no body knows him
better. I have taken a great deal of the Captain’s Money in my Time at
second-hand, for he always lov’d to have his Ladies well drest.
_Peachum_. Mr. _Lockit_ and I have a little Business with the
Captain;—You understand me—and we will satisfy you for Mrs. _Coaxer’s_
Debt.
_Lockit_. Depend upon it—we will deal like Men of Honour.
_Mrs. Trapes_. I don’t enquire after your Affairs—so whatever happens, I
wash my Hands on’t—It hath always been my Maxim, that one Friend should
assist another—But if you please—I’ll take one of the Scarfs home with
me. ’Tis always good to have something in Hand.