[Illustration: HIS NATURAL BENT.
Father (in high glee): “Vell, Repecka, unt vat do you t’ink ohf our
Ikey now? Look ad him. He’s put on mine coat unt vest to make him look
like a man, unt den got dree lemons for a sign, unt he’s shtarted a
pawnbroker’s shtore on der sidewalk. Mark mein vords, he’ll haf der
clothes off dem Cristian poys’ packs before dey goes away.”]
[Illustration: PATERNAL PRIDE.
“If there’s a child in the sixt’ ward kin bate that wan o’ moine at
dhrinkin’, fetch him along, and I’ll set up the licker for the house.
Ah! but it’s a proud woman his mother’d be this day if she wuz on’y
aloive to see him!”]
[Illustration:
“Agnes, does your father drink, too?”]
[Illustration:
“She must be getting better. It is the first time she has smiled.”]
[Illustration: TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
“Come away, Nellie, come away! I can’t stand it no longer. The sight
an’ smell o’ them cakes make me desperit.”]
[Illustration: TO BE ENVIED.
“Hey, Jimmy, dat shop’s mighty lucky dese hard times.”]
[Illustration: THAT’S WHERE THE IRON ENTERED.
“Jimmy, it ain’t the walue o’ the dorg w’ot I’m a-thinkin’ of, although
that’s enough to break one’s heart, but it’s the chicking an’ the party
o’ four grasses w’ot he’s got on his insides!”]
[Illustration: LOST HER PASS.
Boy (on extreme right of picture, to sister): “Wot have yer did wid de
pennies w’ot I giv yer ter save fer de ice cream?”
Sister: “Ow--boo-hoo-hoo! I put ’em in me mout fer safety, and I’ve
swallered em. Boo-hoo-hoo!”]
[Illustration: TOO BAD.
“Talk about cruelty ter young folks! I want ter know if dere’s anyting
worse dan ter come acrost one er dem posters when yer dat hungry you
could almost eat yer shoes.”]
[Illustration: HER SMALL WISH.
“See w’ot I found in the ash-barril. What a pity it ain’t got no
stummick!”
“I envies it. If I didn’t have no stummick I wouldn’t want
no grub!”]
[Illustration: TERRIBLE.
“Yes, it’s just too awful to think I’ve got to grow so old that gents
won’t make room for me in the cars!”]
[Illustration: ON THE FRESH-AIR EXCURSION.
Tillie (overcome of her free lunch): “Say, Maggie, run a pin in me. I
must be a-dreamin’. This is too good to be true!”]
[Illustration: AN ANXIOUS MOMENT. (_AT THE FRESH-AIR EXCURSION._)
“Please, sir, I’s lost me ticket.”]
[Illustration: SIMPLE STRATEGY.
Emily: “Wot’s the use of yer standin’ an’ lookin’ in the winder when
yer ain’t got no money?”
Sophy: “Well, I’ll tell yer. I stand an’ aggrawate myself to that
extent that the excitement of it gets me hungry, an’ I rushes home an’
eats me dry crust o’ bread wid an appetite.”]
[Illustration: THE TEMPTATION TOO GREAT.
Ellen: “Why don’t you put a couple of oysters on those black eyes o’
yourn?”
Tom: “I did. I tried it twiced, but somehow I can’t never get them no
furder up than my mout.”]
[Illustration:
Boy: “He kin scare us with his racket, now, Em’ly, but in a couple o’
days our stummicks will be his cemetary!”]
[Illustration: BAD LOOKOUT FOR JOHNNY.
“Come, Mariar--come quick! Johnny Atkins is a-buyin’ a apple!”]
[Illustration:
“I seen yer buy de apple, Susy Roach, an’ if yer don’t gimme half I’ll
rub aginst yer, an’ yer’ll catch der measles.”]
[Illustration: A BONANZA.
“Mattie, come quick, an’ bring everythink yer can with yer! There’s bin
a New Year’s party, an’ they’re a-givin’ away all the pidgins, toast,
an’ wegetables what’s bin left over!”]
[Illustration: A GOOD TIME.
“Bill, you wuzzent in it when you didn’t go to de picnic; dat’s right!
Dere wuz pie--an’ cake--an’ limonade--an’ red an’ yaller ice-cream, an’
I eat so much dat when I got t’rough I felt as dough dere wuz a duzzent
angels a-sittin’ on me ribs a-fannin’ me stummick to sleep.”]
[Illustration: A MOMENT OF ANXIETY.
“Will he dewour us, Jimmy?”
“I dunno. He takes the Christmas turkey I got inside o’ me for quail,
an’ you never can tell wot a game dog will do.”]
[Illustration: AN EYE TO BUSINESS.
“Hey, Chimmy, how’s dat for a t’roat ter holler extrys wid?”]
[Illustration: QUITE HUMAN.
“What makes a rooster crow, Billy?”
“He’s got ter giv’ way ter his feelin’s. He can’t help hisself.”
“But when the hen lays a egg he makes the most noise.”
“Ah! That’s pride.”]
[Illustration:
Nanny: “Drop that, Billy; drop it, I tell you! I don’t want you to get
a taste for that sort o’ thing!”]
[Illustration: PRIDE OF ANCESTRY.
Rover: “My father took the first prize at the exhibition!”
Towzer: “That’s nothing; my mother’s remains took a gold medal at the
health-food fair!”]
[Illustration: ALONE.
Susy: “What’s he cryin’ for?”