I generally send Eliza to spend a day with her mother early in
December, and try to cheer her up a little. I daresay the old lady is
very lonely, and appreciates the kindly thought. The return ticket is
four-and-two, and Eliza generally buys a few flowers to take with her.
That does not leave much change out of five shillings when the day is
over, but I don't grudge the money. Eliza's mother generally tries to
find out, without precisely asking, what we should like for a Christmas
present. Eliza does not actually tell her, or even hint it--she would
not care to do anything of that sort. But she manages, in a tactful
sort of way, to let her know.
For instance, the year before last Eliza's mother happened to say, "I
wonder if you know what I am going to give you this Christmas."
Eliza said, "I can see in your eye, mother, and you sha'n't do it. It's
much too expensive. If other people can do without silver salt-cellars,
I suppose we can."
Well, we got them; so that was all right. But last year it was more
difficult.
* * * * *
You see, early in last December I went over my accounts, and I could
see that I was short. For one thing, Eliza had had the measles. Then I
had bought a bicycle, and though I sold it again, it did not, in that
broken state, bring in enough to pay the compensation to the cabman. I
was much annoyed about that. It was true I ran into the horse, but it
was not my fault that it bolted and went into the lamp-post. As I said,
rather sharply, to the man when I paid him, if his horse had been
steady the thing would never have happened. He did not know what to
answer, and made some silly remark about my not being fit to ride a
mangle. Both then and at the time of the accident his language was
disrespectful and profane.
However, I need not go further into that. It is enough to say that we
had some unusual expenses, and were distinctly short.
"I don't blame you, Eliza," I said. "Anything you have had you are very
welcome to."
"I haven't had anything, except the measles," she said; "and I don't
see how you can blame me for that."
"But," I said, "I think it's high time you paid a visit to your mother,
and showed her that we have not forgotten her. Take some Swiss
roll--about sixpennyworth. Try to make things seem a little brighter to
her. If she says anything about Christmas, and you saw your way to
getting a cheque from her this year instead of her usual present, you
might do that. But show her that we are really fond of her--remember
she is your mother, and has few pleasures. A fiver just now would make
a good deal of difference to me, and even a couple of sovereigns would
be very handy."
* * * * *
When Eliza came back, I saw by her face that it was all right.
"I didn't have to say anything," she said. "Mother told me of her own
accord that she knew that you had money troubles, and that she was
going to take advantage of the Christmas season to relieve you from
them in a way which at another time you might be too proud to accept."
"That," I said, warmly, "is very thoughtful of her, and very delicate,
and it can only mean one thing. It settles me. This year, Eliza, we
will give your mother a present. Quite a trifle, of course--about two
shillings. It will be a token, and she will value it."
When I returned from the city I found that Eliza had purchased a small
white vase for one-and-ten. The man in the shop had told her that it
was alabaster. I had my doubts about that, but it was quite in my own
taste--rather severe and classical. I complimented Eliza on her choice.
Three days before Christmas I got a letter from Eliza's mother. She
said that she had been afraid that I was worrying about my debt to her
of £4 13_s._ 9_d._ She took advantage of the Christmas season to return
my I.O.U.'s, and begged me to consider the debt as paid.
It was not at all what I had expected.
* * * * *
"No," I said to Eliza at breakfast, "I am not in the least like a bear
with a sore head, and I will thank you not to use the expression. As
for your mother's kindness, I am glad you think it kindness. I wouldn't
have it otherwise. If you weren't a born idiot you wouldn't think so.
My debt to your mother would have been discharged by--discharged in due
course. By reminding me that I owed her money, she has practically
dunned me for it, and forced me to pay her at a most inconvenient time.
She comes badgering me for her dirty money at Christmas, and you call
it 'kindness!' Kindness! Hah! Oh, hah, hah!"
"Don't make those silly noises, and get on with your breakfast!" said
Eliza.
Afterward she asked me if I still meant to send her mother that little
vase.
"Oh, yes!" I said. "We can afford it; it's nothing to us."
Eliza, entirely misunderstanding the word that I next used, got up and
said that she would not stop in the room to hear her poor mother sworn
at.
"The word I used," I said, calmly, "was alabaster, and not what you
suppose."
"You pronounced it just like the other thing."
"I pronounced it in an exclamatory manner," I replied, "from contempt!
You seem to me very ready to think evil. This is not the first time!"
Eliza apologized. As a matter of fact, I really did say alabaster. But
I said it emphatically, and I own that it relieved my feelings.
We keep the silver salt-cellars in the drawer of Eliza's wardrobe as a
general rule. I should prefer to use them every day, or at any rate
every Sunday. But Eliza says that they make work.
"Mother has written to me," she said on the following day, "to say that
she will dine with us on Christmas Day. I had better get the silver
salt-cellars down."
"You'd better _put them up_," I said, meaningly. I know that sounds
rather bitter, but I confess that I have always had a weakness for the
wit that stings.
Well, it did not actually come to that. They allowed me to draw a
couple of pounds in advance at the office. I suppose they know that
when they have got a good man it is worth while to stretch a point to
keep him. Not that I was at all dictatorial--apparently I asked it as a
favour. But I fancy our manager saw that I was not a man to be played
with.
Eliza's mother dined with us, and brought a couple of ducks.
Conscience, I should say.
At the moment of writing my financial position is absolutely sound, and
even if Eliza's mother forced me to use her present to me to pay my
debt to her (£7 19_s._ 5_d._), though I might think it dishonourable on
her part, I should not be seriously inconvenienced. However, Eliza is
going early in December to suggest sauce-boats (plated). That is to
say, she may possibly mention them if any occasion arises.