CHARLES A. TINKER ARRIVES ON THE PLANET MARS
The bright azure sky on the planet Mars, which serves as a bulletin
board for its whilom dwellers, was covered with news from Mother Earth
and the wireless electric pen was busy at work transcribing more items
of interest to the sojourners.
News from Washington announcing the declaration of war excited some
anxiety and apprehension and each article was read and debated upon by
everyone. Secretary Fred Moxon was kept busily engaged in deciphering
the telepathic messages from his earthly friend and arranging them for
the bulletin board.
“What, ho!” he cried, “here is something new,” as he copied off the
announcement of the passing of Charles Almerin Tinker.
“I dare say Mr. Tinker will not delay in climbing the Horeb Heights and
he is most likely to arrive on the Thunderbolt Express, which is due
tomorrow,” ejaculated Moxon, “and I believe that I will immediately
bulletin the event, knowing that there will be many who will want to be
among the first to welcome him to our Elysian home. President Lincoln
and Secretary Edwin M. Stanton will want to meet their old friend and
comrade; besides, there is a long list of members of the old United
States Military Corps who will be on hand when the express train
arrives.”
A bulletin was accordingly indited chronicling the passing of Mr.
Tinker and announcing his expected arrival on the morrow, which
attracted much attention.
A regiment, bearing banners with the legends, “Spirit of 1865,” “The
United States Military Telegraph Corps,” etc., accompanied by several
bands of music playing stirring airs, came down the line under the
leadership of Col. Marquis D. Crain. The regiment was composed of
admirers of Mr. Tinker and were mostly members of the United States
Military Telegraph Corps, and all were eager to greet their former
colleague.
Among those who were formed in line were the following: James E.
Pettit, C. Fred Loomis, Hamilton Young, Ed P. Whitford, Thomas T.
Eckert, Samuel Bruch, Jesse H. Bunnell, W. K. Applebaugh, C. D.
Hammond, J. C. Van Duzer, Dennis Doren, Anson Stager, G. M. Brush, Eli
Cole, H. W. Cowan, J. E. Gamble, Patrick Mullarkey, Douglass Kent, G.
D. Sheldon and many others.
“I would like to be among those to escort my young friend to our
Tabernacle,” remarked President Lincoln, who could not think of Mr.
Tinker in any other light than being “young,” forgetting for the time
being that he had not seen the gentleman for more than a half century.
But time does not count in eternity. “I remember him so well, and I
used to be greatly pleased to call him and his immediate colleagues
‘The Sacred Three.’”
“See, what is that in the sky that looks like a comet?” was asked on
all sides. “If this is the Thunderbolt Express it is twelve hours ahead
of its record,” and everybody hastened down to the spacious plaza where
the big air machine from Earth made her landing.
There was no screeching of whistles or ringing of bells, or cries from
the omnipresent hack and cabmen. Instead of such distracting noises
came the sound of many voices in patriotic melody, and in the midst of
tuneful airs of “Hail Columbia” Charles A. Tinker was welcomed to a
temporary abiding place on the planet Mars.
The meeting between President Lincoln and his former confidential
operator was joyous, but not affecting, for there is only joy in this
haven.
Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Tinker locked arms for a stroll, for both had much
to talk about concerning past events. Mr. Tinker verified many of the
reports already inscribed on the bulletin board and his patriotic words
and spirit evoked a tumult of applause.
The evening was given over to a social demonstration, many of Mr.
Tinker’s contemporaries and former employes being in line to say some
welcoming words to their old friend.
A committee of Confederate telegraphers during the Civil War, composed
of George Ellsworth, David S. Ryan, J. C. Hueston, C. C. Chute, Barney
Hughes, David Flanery, J. B. Tree, M. W. Barr, J. W. Kates and others,
came around to pay their respects to Mr. Tinker and all distinctions
and differences were forgotten.
General Grant, minus his once ever-present cigar, and the noted Sherman
brothers, William Tecumseh and John, and many others of note, made an
informal call on Mr. Tinker and bid him welcome.
Fred B. Moxon, whom Mr. Tinker recognized as having once been a page in
the White House, shook hands with the great cipher operator, Mr. Moxon
presenting Mr. Tinker with a deadhead pass over his telepathic wires to
Earth.
“This looks good to me,” said Mr. Tinker. “I only hope, in using
it, I will not be getting into trouble with the Interstate Commerce
Commission.”
“Never fear for that,” said Charlie Hammond, who called to greet his
old chieftain. “When you get rested I will take you down the Mow Pack
from St. Louis to Houston, Tex., in my private car ‘Telegraph,’ and I
will give you a life-long pass over the route, and lifetime here means
eternity, if you want to remain here.”
Mr. Tinker remarked, like St. Peter, that “It is good to be here,” and
the whole assemblage replied by a fervent “Amen.”
These little spheres are peopled by ex-inhabitants of the Earth, who
got tired of their long journey and desired to tarry on the way.
Mr. Tinker recognized some faces in passing, but as he was on a
thorough express train he could not stop to exchange greetings.
The day was spent in a patriotic manner, many eloquent addresses being
made by former statesmen and warriors, and soul-inspiring melodies
filled the air from all sides.
Truly, it was a never-to-be-forgotten day and even the oldest
inhabitant of this delightful place, Methusaleh by name, voted it to be
a red letter day in the history of the planet Mars.