PETER ROWE’S PROHIBITION SPEECH
The audience at the meeting of the telegraph people assembled in
session at the Pleiades Club on the planet Mars to listen to remarks
from Peter A. Rowe and others, were quite on the _qui vive_ in
anticipation of something out of the ordinary and they were certainly
well rewarded for their patient waiting.
Mr. Al Baker, who was presiding, introduced the speaker of the day, for
“there is no night” on the planet Mars, and Mr. Rowe was well received.
“I have been asked to relate my experience out in the West, but I think
that I would prefer to say something upon a subject nearer my heart,”
Mr. Rowe began.
“I did go it some while on earth and were I inclined to be remorseful,
I would be very unhappy indeed, but up here in the second heaven we
have all learned that remorse is as much to be dreaded as is hate,
malice, envy, revenge and a hundred more kindred vices.
“Every sin is forgiven as we turn from it and now I have nothing to
regret for any shortcomings that I may have had while on Earth.
“To get back to my topic. I notice on the bulletin board that there
is a connection between this mile post on our heavenly flight and my
former friends on Earth and I would like to have your secretary quote
my remarks for the benefit of those who are still tempted in the manner
I was, while on Earth.
“I am rejoiced to know that the South has gone dry, and I am thankful,
too, that the West is following in the same line, and were I again a
legislator from Cook County, Ill., I would preach from the house-top
and from the hill-top, the great good of national prohibition and I
would not cease a moment till I made Chicago a ‘dry’ city. I feel that
I would have the hearty thanks of the telegraph and railroad companies
and also of all the telegraph employes once the bill became a law and
all were inured to it.
“Our people on Mars are true blue and there is no insincerity to be
found in our ranks. We have all been purged of that and we all feel the
better for it.”
* * * * *
Mr. Rowe continued in his happy vein to relate his experiences while he
was manager at Elko, Nev., when that office was a repeating point, his
remarks evoking many merry rounds of applause.
He was very much in earnest in his statements on prohibition and his
listeners were greatly interested, Mr. Fred Moxon taking the notes down
in shorthand for the benefit of his earthly friends.
The band played, “Father, dear father, coom heim with me now,” and a
bright little star was placed in Mr. Rowe’s crown, Mike Burke all the
time whistling enquiringly, “Will there be any stars in my crown?”
“While you are on the subject of ‘lifting’ the craft, I wish some one
of our gifted speakers would say a few words upon the ‘Telegraph and
Telephone Life Insurance Association.’
“I notice the sentiment on the subject is general,” said Chairman
Baker, “and that it is highly approved of by all of our friends
assembled. Much good work along these lines is at present being done
in the Chicago office, which I am proud to say never takes a back seat
from any place when it comes to doing things right. The present Chicago
agent for the Telegraph and Telephone Life Insurance Association, Mr.
Edward F. Hatch, has many applications to his ‘wampum belt,’ as Hawkeye
Bill would put it, and this same spirit should be more manifest all
over the country. Just see what immeasurable good the association does.”
“All these remarks are well timed and I agree with the speakers, but
let us have a little fun now. Can’t Sam Bracken get out his stalwart
nine from the Chicago 1883 bunch and play W. H. Cummings of St. Louis a
game of base ball?” Thus spoke Fred Catlin and many left the club room
to witness the game, which was played with much spirit, Chicago, of
course, winning with a decisive score.
It was pleasant to note the absolute democracy of feeling pervading the
denizens of Mars; there was no feeling of seeming superiority displayed
by any one person over another; all were equal and on the same level
and plane. Former superintendents were pleased to hob-nob with their
linemen and chiefs and operators linked arms like brothers and all
differences and distinctions were wiped out forever.
Is it not too bad that such a feeling is impossible, or seems to be so,
on Earth at the present time?
Conversation, visiting and “get acquainted” knots of telegraph men and
women now ensued and it was good to notice the many familiar faces of
those who came loitering along to take part in the happy meeting.
There was Emil Shape, so well known a few years ago in Milwaukee;
George Brigham, from Toledo; John W. Moreland, from San Francisco;
Commodore Haines, from Los Angeles; John Henderson, from Portland; John
and William Grier, from Salt Lake; ex-manager Snider, from Cheyenne;
Frank B. Knight, from Omaha; James Swan, from Minneapolis, and many
others.
John Henderson, who was acquainted while on Earth with all of these
gentlemen, was kept busy in introducing one to the other, his
introduction being accompanied by a humorous sally. Mr. Henderson
was in a very pleasant spirit and greeted the Grier brothers most
affectionately, calling upon Tom Kehoe, Joe Hurley, Mike Burke, Mike
Conway and W. B. Hibbard to come and take a seat close by where they
could all talk uninterruptedly.
Oh yes, here is Joe Sears; the last time I saw him he was in Pioche,
Nev., and here is George Millar from Austin, and James Farrell, from
Carson, and Tom Booth and “Graphy” from Virginia City.
And now that we are all gathered together and have all the time that
there is and we have no work to do at the office, we will enjoy
ourselves to the utmost by relating our experiences for the benefit
of those who are left behind, knowing that all of our remarks will be
carefully chronicled in the Telegraph and Telephone Age through its
special correspondent on the planet Mars, Fred B. Moxon.
Then followed a series of story telling, of experiences, humorous and
pathetic.
The news had been received of the generous Christmas present given
to all employes by the Western Union Telegraph Company, which fact
occasioned many pleasant remarks from its former operators, accompanied
also by a doleful remonstrance from the former stockholders of the
company, who could not understand the occasion of this uncalled for
extravagance.
A committee composed of Frank Jaynes, William B. Hibbard, Colonel J.
J. Dickey and E. P. Wright, framed resolutions of appreciation to be
transmitted to the president of the Western Union Telegraph Company,
Newcomb Carlton, indicating the feeling existing among the former
co-laborers now on the planet Mars toward that company.
The meeting is still in session.