THE PRIEST, PURGATORY, AND THE POOR WIDOW’S COW.
The day following that of the meeting at which Mr. Tache had given his
reasons for boasting that he had whipped the priest, I wrote to my
mother: “For God’s sake, come for me; I can stay here no longer. If you
knew what my eyes have seen and my ears have heard for some time past,
you would not delay your coming a single day.”
Indeed, such was the impression left upon me by that flagellation, and
by the speeches which I had heard, that had it not been for the crossing
of the St. Lawrence, I would have started for Murray Bay on the day
after the secret meeting at which I had heard things that so terribly
frightened me. How I regretted the happy and peaceful days spent with my
mother in reading the beautiful chapters of the Bible, so well chosen by
her to instruct and interest me! What a difference there was between our
conversations after these readings, and the conversations I heard at St.
Thomas!
Happily my parents’ desire to see me again was as great as mine to go
back to them. So that a few weeks later my mother came for me. She
pressed me to her heart, and brought me back to the arms of my father.
I arrived at home on the 17th of July, 1821, and spent the afternoon and
evening till late by my father’s side. With what pleasure did he see me
working difficult problems in algebra, and even in geometry! for under
my teacher, Mr. Jones, I had really made rapid progress in those
branches. More than once I noticed tears of joy in my father’s eyes
when, taking my slate, he saw that my calculations were correct. He also
examined me in grammar. “What an admirable teacher this Mr. Jones must
be,” he would say, “to have advanced a child so much in the short space
of fourteen months!”
How sweet to me, but how short, were those hours of happiness passed
between my good mother and my father! We had family worship. I read the
fifteenth chapter of Luke, the return of the prodigal son. My mother
then sang a hymn of joy and gratitude, and I went to bed with my heart
full of happiness to take the sweetest sleep of my life. But, O God!
what an awful awakening thou hadst prepared for me!
At about four o’clock in the morning heart-rending screams fell upon my
ear. I recognized my mother’s voice.
“What is the matter, dear mother?”
“Oh, my dear child, you have no more a father! He is dead!”
In saying these words she lost consciousness and fell on the floor!
While a friend who had passed the night with us gave her proper care, I
hastened to my father’s bed. I pressed him to my heart, I kissed him, I
covered him with my tears, I moved his head, I pressed his hands, I
tried to lift him up on his pillow; I could not believe that he was
dead! It seemed to me that even if dead he would come back to life—that
God could not thus take my father away from me at the very moment when I
had come back to him after so long an absence! I knelt to pray to God
for the life of my father. But my tears and cries were useless. He was
dead! He was already cold as ice!
Two days after he was buried. My mother was so overwhelmed with grief
that she could not follow the funeral procession. I remained with her as
her only earthly support. Poor mother! How many tears thou hast shed!
What sobs came from thine afflicted heart in those days of supreme
grief!
Though I was then very young, I could understand the greatness of our
loss, and I mingled my tears with those of my mother.
What pen can portray what takes place in the heart of a woman when God
takes suddenly her husband away in the prime of his life, and leaves her
alone, plunged in misery, with three small children, two of whom are
even too young to know their loss! How long are the hours of the day for
the poor widow who is left alone, and without means, among strangers!
How painful the sleepless night to the heart which has lost everything!
How empty a house is left by the eternal absence of him who was its
master, support, and father! Every object in the house and every step
she takes remind her of her loss and sinks the sword deeper which
pierces her heart. Oh, how bitter are the tears which flow from her eyes
when her youngest child, who as yet does not understand the mystery of
death, throws himself into her arms and says: “Mamma, where is papa? Why
does he not come back? I am lonely!”
My poor mother passed through those heart-rending trials. I heard her
sobs during the long hours of the day, and also during the longer hours
of the night. Many times I have seen her fall upon her knees to implore
God to be merciful to her and to her three unhappy orphans. I could do
nothing then to comfort her, but love her, pray and weep with her!
Only a few days had elapsed after the burial of my father when I saw Mr.
Courtois, the parish priest, coming to our house (he who had tried to
take away our Bible from us). He had the reputation of being rich, and
as we were poor and unhappy since my father’s death, my first thought
was that he had come to comfort and to help us. I could see that my
mother had the same hopes. She welcomed him as an angel from heaven. The
least gleam of hope is so sweet to one who is unhappy!
From his very first words, however, I could see that our hopes were not
to be realized. He tried to be sympathetic, and even said something
about the confidence that we should have in God, especially in times of
trial; but his words were cold and dry.
Turning to me, he said:
“Do you continue to read the Bible, my little boy?”
“Yes, sir,” answered I, with a voice trembling with anxiety, for I
feared that he would make another effort to take away that treasure, and
I had no longer a father to defend it.
Then addressing my mother, he said:
“Madam, I told you that it was not right for you or your child to read
that book.”
My mother cast down her eyes, and answered only by the tears which ran
down her cheeks.
That question was followed by a long silence, and the priest then
continued:
“Madam, there is something due for the prayers which have been sung, and
the services which you requested to be offered for the repose of your
husband’s soul. I will be very much obliged to you if you pay me that
little debt.”
“Mr. Courtois,” answered my mother, “my husband left me nothing but
debts. I have only the work of my own hands to procure a living for my
three children, the eldest of whom is before you. For these little
orphans’ sake, if not for mine, do not take from us the little that is
left.”
“But, madam, you do not reflect. Your husband died suddenly and without
any preparation; he is therefore in the flames of purgatory. If you want
him to be delivered, you must necessarily unite your personal sacrifices
to the prayers of the Church and the masses which we offer.”
“As I said, my husband has left me absolutely without means, and it is
impossible for me to give you any money,” replied my mother.
“But, madam, your husband was for a long time the only notary of Mal
Bay. He surely must have made much money. I can scarcely think that he
has left you without any means to help him now that his desolation and
sufferings are far greater than yours.”
“My husband did, indeed, coin much money, but he spent still more.
Thanks to God, we have not been in want while he lived. But lately he
got this house built, and what is still due on it makes me fear that I
will lose it. He also bought a piece of land not long ago, only half of
which is paid, and I will, therefore, probably not be able to keep it.
Hence I may soon, with my poor orphans, be deprived of everything that
is left us. In the meantime I hope, sir, that you are not a man to take
away from us our last piece of bread.”
“But, madam, the masses offered for the rest of your husband’s soul must
be paid,” answered the priest.
My mother covered her face with her handkerchief and wept.
As for me, I did not mingle my tears with hers this time. My feelings
were not those of grief, but of anger and unspeakable horror. My eyes
were fixed on the face of that man who tortured my mother’s heart. I
looked with tearless eyes upon the man who added to my poor mother’s
anguish, and made her weep more bitterly than ever. My hands were
clenched, as if ready to strike. All my muscles trembled; my teeth
chattered as if from intense cold. My greatest sorrow was my weakness in
the presence of that big man, and my not being able to send him away
from our house, and driving him far away from my mother.
I felt inclined to say to him: “Are you not ashamed, you who are so
rich, to come and take away the last piece of bread from our mouths?”
But my physical and moral strength were not sufficient to accomplish the
task before me, and I was filled with regret and disappointment.
After a long silence, my mother raised her eyes, reddened with tears, on
the priest, and said:
“Sir, you see that cow in the meadow, not far from our house? Her milk
and the butter made from it form the principal part of my children’s
food. I hope you will not take her away from us. If, however, such a
sacrifice must be made to deliver my poor husband’s soul from purgatory,
take her as payment of the masses to be offered to extinguish those
devouring flames.”
The priest instantly arose, saying, “Very well, madam,” and went out.
Our eyes anxiously followed him; but instead of walking towards the
little gate which was in front of the house, he directed his steps
towards the meadow, and drove the cow before him in the direction of his
home.
At that sight I screamed with despair: “O, my mother! he is taking our
cow away! What will become of us?”
Lord Nairn had given us that splendid cow when it was three months old.
Her mother had been brought from Scotland, and belonged to one of the
best breeds of that country. I fed her with my own hands, and had often
shared my bread with her. I loved her as a child always loves an animal
which he has brought up himself. She seemed to understand and love me
also. From whatever distance she could see me, she would run to me to
receive my caresses, and whatever else I might have to give her. My
mother herself milked her; and her rich milk was such delicious and
substantial food for us. We all felt so happy, at breakfast and supper,
each with a cupful of that pure and refreshing milk!
My mother also cried out with grief as she saw the priest taking away
the only means which heaven had left her to feed her children.
Throwing myself into her arms, I asked her: “Why have you given away our
cow? What will become of us? We shall surely die of hunger.”
“Dear child,” she answered, “I did not think the priest would be so
cruel as to take away the last resource which God had left us. Ah! if I
had believed him to be so unmerciful I would never have spoken to him as
I did. As you say, my dear child, what will become of us? But have you
not often read to me in your Bible that God is the Father of the widow
and the orphan? We shall pray to that God who is willing to be your
father and mine. He will listen to us, and see our tears. Let us kneel
down and ask of Him to be merciful to us, and to give us back the
support of which the priest has deprived us.”
We both knelt down. She took my right hand with her left, and, lifting
the other hand towards heaven, she offered a prayer to the God of
mercies for her poor children such as I have never since heard. Her
words were often choked by her sobs. But when she could not speak with
her voice, she spoke with her burning looks raised to heaven, and with
her uplifted hand. I also prayed to God with her, and repeated her
words, which were broken by my sobs.
When her prayer was ended she remained for a long time pale and
trembling. Cold sweat was flowing on her face, and she fell on the
floor. I thought she was going to die. I ran for cold water, which I
gave her, saying: “Dear mother! O, do not leave me alone upon earth!”
After drinking a few drops she felt better, and taking my hand, she put
it to her trembling lips; then drawing me near her, and pressing me to
her bosom, she said: “Dear child, if ever you become a priest, _I ask of
you never to be so hard-hearted towards poor widows as are the priests
of to-day_.” While she said these words, I felt her burning tears
falling upon my cheek.
The memory of these tears has never left me. I felt them constantly
during the twenty-five years I spent in preaching the inconceivable
superstitions of Rome.
I was not better, naturally, than many of the other priests. I believed,
as they did, the impious fables of purgatory; and as well as they (I
confess it to my shame), if I refused to take, or if I gave back the
money of the poor, I accepted the money which the rich gave me for the
masses I said to extinguish the flames of that fabulous place. But the
remembrance of my mother’s words and tears has kept me from being so
cruel and unmerciful towards the poor widows as Romish priests are, for
the most part, obliged to be.
When my heart, depraved by the false and impious doctrines of Rome, was
tempted to take money from widows and orphans, _under pretence of my
long prayers_, I then heard the voice of my mother, from the depth of
her sepulchre, saying: “My dear child, do not be cruel towards poor
widows and orphans, as are the priests of to-day.” If, during the days
of my priesthood at Quebec, at Beauport and Kamouraska, I have given
almost all that I had to feed and clothe the poor, especially the widows
and orphans, it was not owing to my being better than others, but it was
because my mother had spoken to me with words never to be forgotten. The
Lord, I believe, had put into my mother’s mouth those words, so simple
but so full of eloquence and beauty, as one of His great mercies towards
me. Those tears the hand of Rome has never been able to wipe off; those
words of my mother the sophisms of Popery could not make me forget.
How long, O Lord, shall that insolent enemy of the gospel, the Church of
Rome, be permitted to fatten herself upon the tears of the widow and of
the orphan by means of that cruel and impious invention of
paganism—purgatory? Wilt thou not be merciful unto so many nations which
are still the victims of that great imposture? Oh, do remove the veil
which covers the eyes of the priests and people of Rome, as thou hast
removed it from mine! Make them to understand that their hopes of
purification must not rest on these fabulous fires, but only on the
blood of the Lamb shed on Calvary to save the world.