IN WHICH MR. SCHNACKENBERGER ACTS UPON THE AMBITIOUS FEELINGS OF A MAN
IN OFFICE FOR AN AMIABLE PURPOSE.
Next morning, when the Provost-marshal came to fetch back the
appointments of the military wig-maker, it struck our good-natured
student that he had very probably brought the poor fellow into an
unpleasant scrape. He felt, therefore, called upon as a gentleman, to
wait upon the Mayor, and do his best to beg him off. In fact, he arrived
just in time: for all the arrangements were complete for demonstrating
to the poor wig-maker, by an _à posteriori_ line of argument, the
importance of valour in his new employment.
Mr. Schnackenberger entreated the Mayor to be lenient: courage, he said,
was not every man's business: as a wig-maker, the prisoner could have
had little practice in that virtue: the best of wigs were often made by
cowards: 'and even as a soldier,' said he, 'it's odds if there should be
such another alarm for the next hundred years.' But all in vain: his
judge was too much incensed: 'Such a scandalous dereliction of duty!'
said he; 'No, no: I must make an example of him.'
Hereupon, Mr. Jeremiah observed, that wig-makers were not the only
people who sometimes failed in the point of courage: 'Nay,' said he, 'I
have known even mayors who by no means shone in that department of duty:
and in particular, I am acquainted with some who would look exceedingly
blue, aye d----lish blue indeed, if a student whom I have the honour to
know should take it into his head to bring before the public a little
incident in which they figured, embellished with wood-cuts, representing
a retreat by forced marches towards a bell in the background.'
Mr. Mayor changed colour; and pausing a little to think, at length he
said--'Sir, you are in the right; every man has his weak moments. But
it would be unhandsome to expose them to the scoffs of the public.'
'Why, yes, upon certain conditions.'
'Which conditions I comply with,' said his worship; and forthwith he
commuted the punishment for a reprimand and a short confinement.
On these terms Mr. Schnackenberger assured him of his entire silence
with respect to all that had passed.