MR. JEREMIAH'S NIGHT INTERVIEW WITH THE MAYOR UPON STATE AFFAIRS.
'Saints in heaven! is this the messenger of the last day?' screamed out
a female voice, as the doorbell rang out a furious alarum--peal upon
peal--under that able performer, Mr. Jeremiah Schnackenberger. She
hastened to open the door; but, when she beheld a soldier in the state
uniform, she assured him it was all over with him; for his worship was
gone to bed; and, when _that_ was the case, he never allowed of any
disturbance without making an example.
'Aye, but I come upon state business.'
'No matter,' said the old woman, 'it's all one: when his worship sleeps,
business must sleep: that's the law, I'll assure you, and _has_ been any
time since I can think on. He always commits, at the least.'
'Very likely; but I _must_ speak to him.'
'Well, then, take the consequences on yourself,' said she: 'recollect,
you're a state soldier; you'll be brought to a court-martial; you'll be
shot.'
'Ah! well: that's _my_ concern.'
'Mighty well,' said the old woman: 'one may as well speak to the wind.
However, _I_'ll get out the way: _I_'ll not come near the hurricane. And
don't you say, I didn't warn you.'
So saying, she let him up to her master's bed-room door, and then
trotted off as fast and as far as she could.
At this moment Mr. Mayor, already wakened and discomposed by the violent
tintinnabulation, rushed out: 'What!' said he, 'am I awake? Is it a
guardsman that has this audacity?'
'No guardsman, Mr. Mayor,' said our hero; in whose face his worship was
vainly poring with the lamp to spell out the features of some one
amongst the twelve members of the state-guard; 'no guardsman, but a
gentleman that was apprehended last night at the theatre.'
'Ah!' said the Mayor, trembling in every limb, 'a prisoner, and escaped?
And perhaps has murdered the guard?--What would you have of me--me, a
poor, helpless, unfortunate man?'
And, at every word he spoke, he continued to step back towards a bell
that lay upon the table.
'_Basta_,' said Mr. Schnackenberger, taking the bell out of his hands.
'Mr. Mayor, I'm just the man in the dreadnought. And I've a question to
ask you, Mr. Mayor; and I thought it was rather long to wait until
morning; so I took the liberty of coming for an answer to-night; and I'd
think myself particularly obliged to you for it now:--Upon what
authority do you conceive yourself entitled to commit me, an innocent
man, and without a hearing, to an abominable hole of a dungeon? I have
not murdered the guard, Mr. Mayor: but I troubled him for his regimental
coat, that I might gain admittance to your worship: and I left him the
dreadnought in exchange.'
'The dreadnought?' said the Mayor. 'Aye: now this very dreadnought it
was, Sir, that compelled me (making a low bow) to issue my warrant for
your apprehension.' And it then came out, that in a list of stolen
goods recently lodged with the magistrates, a dreadnought was
particularly noticed: and Mr. Mayor having seen a man enter the theatre
in an article answering to the description, and easily identified by a
black cross embroidered upon the back, was obliged by his duty to have
him arrested; more especially as the wearer had increased the suspicion
against himself by concealing his face.
This explanation naturally reconciled Mr. Schnackenberger to the arrest:
and as to the filthy dungeon, _that_ admitted of a still simpler
apology, as it seemed that the town afforded no better.
'Why then, Mr. Mayor,--as things stand, it seems to me that in the point
of honour I ought to be satisfied: and in that case I still consider
myself your prisoner, and shall take up my quarters for this night in
your respectable mansion.'
'But no!' thought Mr. Mayor: 'better let a rogue escape, than keep a man
within my doors that may commit a murder on my body.' So he assured Mr.
Schnackenberger--that he had accounted in the most satisfactory manner
for being found in possession of the dreadnought; took down the name of
the old clothesman from whom it was hired; and lighting down his now
discharged prisoner, he declared, with a rueful attempt at smiling, that
it gave him the liveliest gratification on so disagreeable an occasion
to have made so very agreeable an acquaintance.