HOW MR. JEREMIAH CAME TO TAKE UP HIS QUARTERS AT THE GOLDEN SOW.
'The Lord, and his angels, protect us!--As I live, here comes the late
governor!' ejaculated the hostess, Mrs. Bridget Sweetbread; suddenly
startled out of her afternoon's nap by the horse's hoofs--and seeing
right before her what she took for the apparition of Don Juan; whom, as
it afterwards appeared, she had seen in a pantomime the night before.
'Thunder and lightning! my good woman,' said the student laughing,
'would you dispute the reality of my flesh and blood?'
Mrs. Bridget, however, on perceiving her mistake, cared neither for the
sword nor for the dog, but exclaimed, 'Why then, let me tell you, Sir,
it's not the custom in this country to ride into parlours, and disturb
honest folks when they're taking their rest. Innkeeping's not the trade
it has been to me, God he knows: but, for all that, I'll not put up with
such work from nobody.'
'Good, my dear creature; what you say is good--very good: but let me
tell you, it's _not_ good that I must be kept waiting in the street, and
no soul in attendance to take my horse and feed him.'
'Oh, that base villain of a hostler!' said the landlady, immediately
begging pardon, and taking hold of the bridle, whilst Mr.
Schnackenberger dismounted.
'That's a good creature,' said he; 'I love you for this: and I don't
care if I take up my quarters here, which at first was not my intention.
Have you room for me?'
'Room!' answered Mrs. Sweetbread; 'ah! now there's just the whole Golden
Sow at your service; the more's the pity.'
On Mr. Jeremiah's asking the reason for this superfluity of room, she
poured out a torrent of abuse against the landlord of _The
Double-barrelled Gun_, who--not content with having at all times done
justice to his sign--had latterly succeeded, with the help of vicious
coachmen and unprincipled postilions, in drawing away her whole
business, and had at length utterly ruined the once famous inn of _The
Golden Sow_. And true it was that the apartment, into which she now
introduced her guest, showed some vestiges of ancient splendour, in the
pictures of six gigantic sows. The late landlord had been a butcher, and
had christened his inn from his practice of slaughtering a pig every
week; and the six swine, as large as life, and each bearing a separate
name, were designed to record his eminent skill in the art of fattening.
His widow, who was still in mourning for him, must certainly have
understood Mr. Schnackenberger's words, '_I love you for this_,' in a
sense very little intended by the student. For she brought up supper
herself; and, with her own hand, unarmed with spoon or other implement,
dived after and secured a little insect which was floundering about in
the soup. So much the greater was her surprise on observing, that, after
such flattering proofs of attention, her guest left the soup untouched;
and made no particular application to the other dishes--so well
harmonising with the general character of the Golden Sow. At last,
however, she explained his want of appetite into the excess of his
passion for herself; and, on that consideration, failed not to lay
before him a statement of her flourishing circumstances, and placed in
a proper light the benefits of a marriage with a woman somewhat older
than himself.
Mr. Schnackenberger, whose good-nature was infinite, occasionally
interrupted his own conversation with Juno, the great dog, who meantime
was dispatching the supper without any of her master's scruples, to
throw in a 'Yes,' or a 'No,'--a, 'Well,' or a 'So, so.' But at length
his patience gave way, and he started up--saying, 'Well: _Sufficit_:
Now--march, old witch!' This harmless expression she took in such ill
part, that, for mere peace' sake, he was obliged to lead her to the door
and shut her out: and then, undressing himself, he stepped into bed;
and, in defiance of the straw which everywhere stuck out, and a quilt of
a hundred-weight,[21] he sunk into a deep slumber under the agreeable
serenade of those clamorous outcries which Mrs. Sweetbread still kept up
on the outside of the door.
[21] The custom in North Germany is to sleep _under_ a bed as well as
_upon_ one; consequently, when this happens to be a cheap one, it cannot
be stuffed with feathers, down, &c., but with some heavier material.