A BOOMERANG IDEA
I had thought of a great idea to profit by agitation against the high
cost of living. The idea had come to me when reading a story in a
business paper which had said that it was not high cost of living we
were suffering from, but cost of high living, and, instead of buying
things in bulk as we used to do, we bought in packages and had to pay a
whole lot of money for the package--and the advertising of them. It had
said also that the modern housewife was lazy and would not _do_ things
for herself if she could get them done by some one else, and that she
thought more of tango teas than toting baby carriages. The article had
finished up by saying: "How many housewives do _you_ know, Mr. Reader,
who will make their own soap, do their own washing, bake their own
bread, and such like housewifely accomplishments which our parents and
grandparents took pride in performing?"
Now, it hadn't seemed to me that that was quite fair to the housewives.
Betty, for one, was no tango-trotter. Well, my brilliant foozle of an
idea had been to make a splurge on bread mixers. I had always carried
one or two in stock, but never had done much with them. So I ordered
three dozen as a starter, that is, two cases, and I got a really good
price on them. Then I ran an ad. in the paper, saying that it had been
said the modern housewife preferred to have things done for her rather
than to do them herself, but that I felt it was not so, and that, just
to show that the modern woman could do as well as the previous
generation, I had started a bread-making contest. I used a slogan: "You
can make bread better than mother by using the Plintex Bread mixer."
I then asked every one to buy a bread mixer, bake a loaf of bread with
its aid, and leave it at the store. I also stated that I would turn all
the bread baked over to the hospital, and I offered an electric chafing
dish for the best loaf baked. I concluded by saying that three prominent
citizens would be the judges.
I had determined to surprise every one by this stunt, but when it came
out no one was quite so surprised as I was at its reception. When I took
the ad. to the newspaper office the fellow grinned as I handed it to
him.
"Good idea, isn't it?" I said.
"Some idea all right, Mr. Black," said he.
Next morning, when I arrived at the store, Charlie Martin was waiting
for me with a paper in his hand. Said he, "Mr. Black, did you put this
in?"
"Sure," I answered.
"I thought perhaps Stigler was trying to get at you in some way," said
Charlie.
I went hot and cold all over, for I felt right then and there that I had
made a big mistake.
"Who's your committee of three prominent citizens?" he then asked.
"I have not picked them yet," I said rather sheepishly.
"But," said Charlie, "a citizen may be prominent without knowing much
about bread. Incidentally, after those three prominent citizens have
tested every loaf of bread, Heaven help the poor babies in the hospital
who have to eat what is left! And, say, if my landlady were to bake a
loaf of bread in this contest, there would be death at some one's
doorstep. She can no more bake bread than I can fly."
"Well," I remonstrated, "those people who can't bake bread won't send in
loaves."
"I am inclined to think," said Charlie, "that they are just the people
who will. And, incidentally, you insist on every one buying a bread
mixer before sending in a loaf. Why don't you try the same thing with
ice cream freezers? Insist on them spending a few dollars to buy an ice
cream freezer, and submit a dab of ice cream for a contest?"
"I wish I had talked it over with you, now, Charlie," I blurted out.
"So do I," said Charlie.
Just then the telephone bell rang. Larsen answered and said it was for
me. Mr. Barlow was at the telephone.
"Say, Dawson," he began, "who worked up that brilliant ad. you have in
the paper this morning?"
"I did," I said, feeling pretty cheap, somehow.
"Did you find the women all lined up on the doorstep this morning, ready
to buy bread mixers?" he asked.
"What's the matter with the idea?" I said.
"Nothing, it's a great idea. I'm going to advertise traction engines
among the farmers, and offer a prize of two eggs to the farmer who makes
it hoe a row of potatoes quickest."
"You are carrying the idea to a point of absurdity," I said. "What's
the matter with my idea, anyhow?"
"Ask Charlie Martin; I guess he can help you," he answered. "And say,
Dawson, I don't want to hurt your feelings; but, if I were you, I would
not try any more brilliant stunts without talking them over with Charlie
or some one else first. The bulk of your ideas are fine, you know, but
occasionally you slip a cog."
I hung up the receiver, then turned to Charlie and said: "I thought I
had a pretty good idea."
"You had a good idea," he said, "but worked it out incorrectly. It is
such a bald attempt to sell bread mixers. You don't give any reason why
they should buy bread mixers. The only reason you ask them to buy the
mixers is to enter the contest. Now, the better-class women won't do it,
and the poorer people have not money to buy mixers."
"I never thought of that," I said.
"Then, again," said Charlie, "you have, or had, quite a good customer
for hardware in the Empire Bread Company. I wonder what they will think
of you urging people to stop trading with them?"
"Good heavens!" I gasped. "I never thought of that, either."
"Evidently not," said Charlie.
"I am going right down to see them," I said, and I seized my hat and,
before he could say another word, I was on my way to see Mr. Burgess of
the Empire Bread Company.
When I arrived at Mr. Burgess' office I heard him and Stigler (Stigler
above all people) laughing. The boy told Burgess I was there, and I was
asked to go right in, which, like a fool, I did.
"How-de, Black?" said Stigler. "Have yer just dropped around to see if
Mr. Burgess will enter a loaf of bread in yer bread-mixing contest?"
I ignored him and turned to Burgess and said: "I didn't know you were
engaged--I will wait until you are through."
"Don't bother, Black," said Stigler, "I am going now," then, turning to
Burgess, he added: "All right, Mr. Burgess, I'll see that yer have them
things this afternoon."
My heart sank when I heard those words, for the Empire Bread Company was
a good steady customer of mine--one of the best, in fact. Burgess used
to trade with Stigler, but they got at cross purposes over something and
the business had come to me, and had been with me for over six months.
"Say, Mr. Burgess," I began, as soon as Stigler had left the room, "I'm
awfully sorry for that ad."
"Don't you be sorry, Black," he said, "it will probably be good business
for you. In fact, I think we will have to enter a loaf of bread in that
contest ourselves. It might be good advertising for the Empire Bread
Company to win the thirty-cent cheese dish, or whatever it is, that you
are giving for making the best loaf of bread."
"I don't know how I ever did such a foolish thing," I said; "but I want
you to know that I shall advertise to-night that the contest is
abandoned on account of inability to get together the committee of
judges."
"Hm!" said Burgess. "I can just imagine the people saying, 'I guess the
Empire people got after him. That is why he is squealing.' Still, you
know your own business best. And now please excuse me, for I am very
busy."
"For heaven's sake tell me what I ought to do, Mr. Burgess! If I hadn't
been so bull-headed I never would have got into this mess."
"And," smiled Burgess, "you think it is bad business to risk losing
ours?"
"Why--partly--I certainly didn't want to hurt your business," I said.
"Believe me, Black, a thing like that won't hurt our business; but it's
good to change at times, so we have switched over to Stigler for a
little while. Some day, perhaps, we will give you a chance at some more
of our business; and now you really will have to excuse me."
I found myself walking back to the store feeling very disconsolate,
indeed. I decided that, at any rate, I would not risk any more
advertising on that wretched bread-making contest, until I saw what was
going to happen. Charlie met me near the post office. "I guess we have
lost the Empire account, haven't we?" he asked.
I groaned.
"Well, cheer up, Mr. Black, we all make mistakes--and it will be
forgotten in a day or two. But--" and then he hesitated.
"Go on, Charlie," I said, "I really want to get your advice."
"All right, then. If I were you, Mr. Black, whenever you plan any
advertising, see first of all that it is not going to hurt any one
else's business; next, whenever you run a prize contest, run one without
any strings attached to it; and, when you give a prize--give something
other than what you sell."
"Do you believe in prize contests?" I asked Charlie.
"As a general rule, no. I think if you have any money to spend for
advertising, you had much better spend it in advertising just what you
are selling, giving people reasons why they should buy your goods. That
sounds humdrum and everyday, I know. There's nothing apparently
brilliant about it, but it gets results. Notice the really big
advertisers. They advertise the goods they have to sell, and it is very
seldom you find them branching off into prize-contest ideas."
"What about the 'Globrite' flashlight?" I said.
"That prize contest complies with the three rules I mentioned. The
prizes were _cash_ prizes and big ones. The public didn't have to buy
anything to enter. The prizes were big enough to tempt people to study
'Globrite' goods, and that really advertised the flashlights to every
contestant."
Somehow, Charlie's quiet confidence made me feel better. But, candidly,
I hated to be seen on the street those days, for everybody asked me how
the bread-making contest was getting on.
At the end of three days, we had not sold a single bread mixer!