THE DÉBUTANTE
A CLEVER young girl, when asked by an acquaintance if she had “come
out” yet, answered, “I didn’t come out. I just _leaked_ out.” Doubtless
this states the case, in a somewhat slangy manner, for a large number
of young women who, gradually and without any set function to serve as
introduction, take their places in society. Even for them, however,
the year following the close of school duties marks a change in their
relation to the social world, while the distinction is much emphasized
in the case of young girls to whom the affairs of balls, receptions,
teas and calls are a novelty. The date of a girl’s formal entrance into
the larger world marks her individual recognition in that world. Before
this time she has been a person without social responsibility, not
accountable in the social sense. She has been considered in relation to
her family, perhaps. Now she stands for herself. She is an object of
some curiosity to the public, and the pleasures and duties to which she
falls heir deserve some special mention.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE AGE OF A DÉBUTANTE]
The age at which a girl makes her formal appearance on the scene of
society varies in different places and with varying conditions. It is
rarely under eighteen, seldom over twenty-two, the first being the age
at which a girl not desirous of extended education escapes, usually,
from the schoolroom, the second being the average age of graduation for
the college girl. A girl younger than eighteen is commonly too immature
to be considered an interesting member of society, and a certain degree
of absurdity attaches to the idea of introducing to the world a girl
older than the age last mentioned.
* * * * *
The special function by which a young woman’s family signalizes her
entrance to society varies little in different places. In many cities
the custom is for the family of the débutante and also for the friends
of the family to give some entertainment in her honor. A dinner, a
luncheon, a tea, a ball—any one of these festivities is a proper manner
of announcing one’s interest in the new member of society and of
emphasizing her arrival.
Everything should be done to facilitate for her an extension of
acquaintance among those whom it is desirable she should know. It
is said that a number of years ago when telephones were a luxury
instead of being, as now, a necessity, in southern cities, the
advent of the débutante in a house meant always the addition of
a name to the telephone directory. This is a somewhat extravagant
and florid comment on the idea advanced. But it will serve as an
illustration. Particularly is it desirable that the débutante should
become acquainted with the older members of the society in which she
moves. She is now not only a part of the particular set to which her
age assigns her; she is also a part of that larger society to which
many ages belong. Her attitude on this question distinguishes her as
well-bred or ill-bred. There is nothing more crass and crude than the
young girl who has no eyes or ears for anybody out of the particular
set of young people to which she belongs. It is the mark of the
plebeian.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE DÉBUTANTE’S WARDROBE]
The clothes of the débutante are a matter of importance and her
wardrobe should be carefully planned. It is natural that she should
wish to look pretty and, as youth itself makes for beauty, given good
health and the usual number of features properly distributed, there
is no reason why she should not so appear, if some discretion be
exercised in the selection of her clothes. It does not lie within the
province of this book to stipulate in detail concerning the outfit
necessary for this happy result. The purpose of this paragraph is to
insist on simplicity of style in the gowns chosen for a girl’s first
year in society. Elaborate styles and heavy materials are opposed
to the quality of a young girl’s beauty. They kill the loveliness
which it is their object to bring out. All her clothes should be made
without perceptible elaboration. In ball gowns she should be careful to
select light, diaphanous materials,—materials that she can wear at no
other time of life to such advantage. Of party gowns she should have
a number. Three or four frocks of thin inexpensive materials are far
better, if a choice be necessary, than one heavy silk or satin. They
are more becoming and the number of them guarantees to their owner
perfect freshness and daintiness of appearance. A soiled, bedraggled
ball gown is a sorry sight on anybody. It looks particularly ill on a
young person whose age entitles her to be compared to lilies and roses.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE SECOND SEASON]
If the truth be told, despite the gaiety and the novelty of a girl’s
first year in society, it is not usually so pleasant a year as her
second. She has much to learn, and it is the exceptional girl who
does not feel a little awkward in her new position. She is prone to
exaggerate the importance of small social blunders, and trifles, light
as air, occupy a disproportionate place in her horizon. A certain
timidity, the result of her unaccustomed position, is characteristic
of her. This timidity shows itself either in a stiffness that modifies
considerably her proper charm, or in an unnatural bravado of manner,
the reverse of pleasing. “Why are you so down on débutantes?”—the
writer of this chapter asked of an accomplished young society man.
“Because they think it’s clever to be rude,” was the answer. The desire
to be very apt, to be “on the spot” and “all there,” as the slang
phrase has it,—this is often at the bottom of the apparent rudeness
of the young girl. She does not care to show her newness. As a bride
wishes it to seem that she has always been married, so a débutante
likes to present the appearance of thorough familiarity with the ground
upon which she has just arrived.
[Sidenote: LOSING SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS]
Nothing will assist the débutante to self-control and a surer footing
so much as contact with people who are somewhat older than herself and
who have gained a proper perspective. From them she will learn to be
less self-conscious, and this means to be happier and more interesting.