WE have more than once, in our rapidly written reflections, urged the
policy and propriety of kindness, courtesy, and good-will between man
and man. It is so easy for an individual to manifest amenity of spirit,
to avoid harshness, and thus to cheer and gladden the paths of all over
whom he may have influence or control, that it is really surprising
to find any one pursuing the very opposite course. Strange as it may
appear, there are among the children of men, hundreds who seem to take
delight in making others unhappy. They rejoice at an opportunity of
being the messengers of evil tidings. They are jealous or malignant; and
in either case they exult in inflicting a wound. The ancients, in most
nations, had a peculiar dislike to croakers, prophets of evil, and the
bearers of evil tidings. It is recorded that the messenger from the
banks of the Tigris, who first announced the defeat of the Roman army
by the Persians, and the death of the Emperor Julian, in a Roman city of
Asia Minor, was instantly buried under a heap of stones thrown upon
him by an indignant populace. And yet this messenger was innocent, and
reluctantly discharged a painful duty. But how different the spirit
and the motive of volunteers in such cases--those who exult in an
opportunity of communicating bad news, and in some degree revel over
the very agony which it produces. The sensitive, the generous, the
honourable, would ever be spared from such painful missions. A case of
more recent occurrence may be referred to as in point. We allude to the
murder of Mr. Roberts, a farmer of New Jersey, who was robbed and
shot in his own wagon, near Camden. It became necessary that the sad
intelligence should be broken to his wife and family with as much
delicacy as possible. A neighbour was selected for the task, and at
first consented. But, on consideration, his heart failed him. He could
not, he said, communicate the details of a tragedy so appalling and he
begged to be excused. Another, formed it was thought of sterner stuff,
was then fixed upon: but he too, rough and bluff as he was in his
ordinary manners, possessed the heart of a generous and sympathetic
human being, and also respectfully declined. A third made a like
objection, and at last a female friend of the family was with much
difficulty persuaded, in company with another, to undertake the mournful
task. And yet, we repeat, there are in society, individuals who delight
in contributing to the misery of others--who are eager to circulate a
slander, to chronicle a ruin, to revive a forgotten error, to wound,
sting, and annoy, whenever they may do so with impunity. How much better
the gentle, the generous, the magnanimous policy! Why not do everything
that may be done for the happiness of our fellow creatures, without
seeking out their weak points, irritating their half-healed wounds,
jarring their sensibilities, or embittering their thoughts! The magic of
kind words and a kind manner can scarcely be over-estimated. Our fellow
creatures are more sensitive than is generally imagined. We have known
cases in which a gentle courtesy has been remembered with pleasure for
years. Who indeed cannot look back into “bygone time,” and discover some
smile, some look or other demonstration of regard or esteem, calculated
to bless and brighten every hour of after existence! “Kind words,” says
an eminent writer, “do not cost much. It does not take long to utter
them. They never blister the tongue or lips on their passage into the
world, or occasion any other kind of bodily suffering; and we have never
heard of any mental trouble arising from this quarter. Though they do
not cost much, yet they accomplish much. 1. They help one's own good
nature and good will. One cannot be in a habit of this kind, without
thereby pecking away something of the granite roughness of his own
nature. Soft words will soften his own soul. Philosophers tell us that
the angry words a man uses in his passion are fuel to the flame of his
wrath, and make it blaze the more fiercely. Why, then, should not
words of the opposite character produce opposite results, and that most
blessed of all passions of the soul, kindness, be augmented by
kind words? People that are for ever speaking kindly, are for ever
disinclining themselves to ill-temper. 2. Kind words make other people
good-natured. Cold words freeze people, and hot words scorch them, and
sarcastic words irritate them, and bitter words make them bitter, and
wrathful words make them wrathful. And kind words also produce their
own image on men's souls; and a beautiful image it is. They soothe, and
quiet, and comfort the hearer. They shame him out of his sour, morose,
unkind feelings; and he has to become kind himself. There is such a rush
of all other kinds of words in our days, that it seems desirable to give
kind words a chance among them. There are vain words, idle words, hasty
words, spiteful words, silly words, and empty words. Now kind words
are better than the whole of them; and it is a pity that, among the
improvements of the present age, birds of this feather might not have
more of a chance than they have had to spread their wings.”
It is indeed! Kind words should be brought into more general use. Those
in authority should employ them more frequently, when addressing
the less fortunate among mankind. Employers should use them in their
intercourse with their workmen. Parents should utter them on every
occasion to their children. The rich should never forget an opportunity
of speaking kindly to the poor. Neighbours and friends should emulate
each other in the employment of mild, gentle, frank, and kindly
language. But this cannot be done unless each endeavours to control
himself. Our passions and our prejudices must be kept in check. If we
find that we have a neighbour on the other side of the way, who has been
more fortunate in a worldly sense than we have been, and if we discover
a little jealousy or envy creeping into our opinions and feelings
concerning said neighbour--let us be careful, endeavour to put a
rein upon our tongues, and to avoid the indulgence of malevolence or
ill-will. If we, on the other hand, have been fortunate, have enough and
to spare, and there happens to be in our circle some who are dependent
upon us, some who look up to us with love and respect--let us be
generous, courteous, and kind--and thus we shall not only discharge a
duty, but prove a source of happiness to others.