latter, in a half whisper, when the ladies' attention was, or seemed to
be, engrossed by their occupation. "Will they not match your Scotch
lasses, think you?"
"That's a pair o' braw queans, I maun allow," replied the laird. "Just
twa as bonny bits o' lassocks as ane wad wish to see; but I think they
want the complexion--they haena the blume o' our kilted heather
trampers. They want the caller red that the norland breeze puts on the
cheeks o' our Scottish gilpies. That's my humble opinion, sir. But
they're twa bonny lassocks, for a' that. Nae doot o't."
"On the score of complexion I grant ye, laird, they are, perhaps,
deficient a little, but I think this amply compensated by the
intellectual expression, the fine contour, and the softer and more
intense lustre of the eye. I have seen your Scottish maidens, laird, and
admired them in my time."
"Feth, sir, I maun say your taste wad hae been very questionable if ye
hadna," interposed the laird. "When and whar saw ye them, if ye please,
sir? What pairt o' Scotland was ye in?" he added.
The question appeared to place Jones in a difficulty for a moment; but
he at length answered--
"Why, laird, I have been in many parts of Scotland in my day. I was with
the king at Scone."
"Was that at the time o' his coronation?" inquired the laird.
"It was," said Jones.
"And it wad be there, like, and aboot the quarter o' Perth, that ye saw
our bonny Scotch lasses, I warrant," said the laird, laughingly. "Ay, if
a' tales be true, the king admired them when he saw them, as muckle as
ye could do, sir," continued the laird.
"Why, they do report something of that kind," replied Jones, with some
confusion of manner, and slightly colouring as he spoke--indications of
a feeling, whatever it was, which seemed highly edifying to his
companions, who marked it with repeated bursts of laughter; "they do
report something of the kind," said Jones; "but we mustn't credit all we
hear, laird."
"The tae half's aboot the usual thing I believe," replied the latter;
"and, if we tak that in the present case--that is, regarding the king's
gallantries----"
"Ay, ay, go on, laird, go on--that's it--give us all you know about the
king's gallantries in Scotland," shouted, almost simultaneously, the
other members of the party. "Go on, go on, like a good fellow."
"Nay, nay, now," exclaimed Jones, earnestly, but good-humouredly, "as
one of the king's confidential servants, I must protest, laird, against
your divulging anything of that kind in my presence."
"Never mind the protest--never mind the protest, laird. Go on, and we'll
stand between you and the consequences," again shouted several members
of the party. "What know ye about the king's gallantries at Scone?"
"Ou, it was nae great things after a', to mak a wark aboot; but, ye see,
there war a wheen unco godly ministers there at the time, an' they made
an awfu ado aboot it. The hale affair was just this. The king happenin
to go into the room that he usually occupied in the Palace o' Scone ae
mornin earlier than ordinar, wha does he fin sortin't oot but a bit
bonny lassie o' a chaumermaid. Aweel, whan she saw the king enter, wham
she hadna expeckit for at least an hour after, what does she do but mak
a rin oot, as it war, and what does the king do but kep her, throw his
arms aboot her neck, and gie her a hearty kiss--a reglar royal salute?
And awa gaed the lassie, skirlin like a curlew, half-mad wi' the fricht
an' the honour. But what wad ye hae o't but that ane o' the Covenantin
ministers, wha war then as thick as craws aboot Scone--it bein just like
a rookery wi' the black coats for the time--suld be just at the moment
stanin at a window, in anither apartment that lookit richt into the ane
whar the king had kissed the bit lassie, and saw the hale affair; and
what does he do but report the scandal to his brethren, wha, shocked at
the indecency, appointed a committee o' ministers to reprove the royal
offender! This committee accordingly waited on the king, whan their
spokesman, ane Douglas--an awfu stern man--after rebookin His Majesty,
added, that it wad be prudent o' him, whan he desired to amuse himsel in
future, to be mair carefu in shuttin the windows."
"Capital, laird; capital!" shouted several of the party, in convulsions
of laughter. "Any more--any more?"
"Nay, nay, now, laird," said Jones, laughing, and clapping his hand on
the mouth of the tell-tale; "on your allegiance to your lawful
sovereign, I command ye to silence. He must not, in my presence, be made
a subject of mirth to these idle jesters."
"Tuts, it's but a joke, man; but if ye think it wad offend His Majesty,
I'll say nae mair. I wad suner lose something considerable than do that.
But what the waur can the king be o' it's bein kent that he likes the
lasses? I trow it's rather a feather in his kep than a discredit till
him."
"Well done, laird!" exclaimed Jones, clapping the former jocosely on the
shoulder. "Thou'rt a good old soul; and I shall take care that Charles
knows of thy lenity towards his failings. It will do thee no harm with
him."
Having said this, Jones rose from the table, and went towards the
landlord's daughters, who were still busily occupied, or apparently so,
at any rate, at the further end of the apartment. His approach to these
fair damsels was made in the most gallant fashion imaginable, and with
all the air and manner of a thoroughbred courtier and cavalier. What
conversation passed between him and the girls was not overheard by the
other members of the party; but the frequent bursts of laughter which
were from time to time elicited, sufficiently showed that it was of a
mirthful character, and that the badinage of Jones fully supported, in
point and brilliancy, the credit of his other kindred qualifications.
After some time, he returned to his party, and again took his seat
beside the laird; who, on his doing so, remarked--
"Feth, sir, ye seem as guid a hand at botherin the lasses as your
master. It's in the family, I think."
A roar of laughter succeeded this sally, to which Jones himself was one
of the largest contributors, although it was certainly mingled with some
embarrassment of manner. From this embarrassment, however, he was
unexpectedly relieved by the strains of a wandering minstrel, which
suddenly rose from the street, just underneath the window of the kitchen
of the Drouthsloken. As these strains were of no ordinary excellence,
they instantly attracted the attention of all in the apartment,
inclusive of the landlord's two fair daughters, one of whom in especial
(Juliana) evinced, by her flurried and agitated manner, a greater
interest in the presence of the minstrel than would have been warranted
on the supposition that it was merely accidental. Her confusion,
however, and the consciousness which it implied of a knowledge exceeding
that of those around her, passed undiscovered by all except Jones, whose
more vigilant eye detected these symptoms of secret and mysterious
understanding. He made no remark, however, on the subject; and carefully
concealed his discovery, not only from the rest of the party, but from
her who was the object of his mental speculations. Having concluded his
serenade, or at least its first department, which consisted, first, of a
preliminary flourish on a violin, executed with great spirit and
felicity, and then of a song, accompanied by the instrument, sung in a
peculiarly deep-toned, but exceedingly melodious, voice, the minstrel
ceased for a few seconds, when Jones proposed that he should be invited
in; and that, if he proved merely a gallant, he should be asked to a
glass of wine; and if he turned out a professional performer, who came
in the exercise of his vocation, he should be requested to entertain
them with his music within-doors. To this proposal a general assent was
at once given; and this assent was immediately followed by the
proceeding proper to its fulfilment. Three or four of the party, headed
by Jones, instantly rushed out, and surrounded the astonished minstrel
before he was aware. At first he discovered symptoms of a desire to
escape from the party; but, seeing this impossible, he stood his ground
manfully, and awaited the pleasure of the gentlemen, whose notice, he
said, he had the honour, it seemed, of so specially attracting. A
momentary glance at the speaker satisfied Jones and his party of his
quality. It was that of a professed street performer; or at least of a
person of the humblest class, as was indicated by his apparel, which
consisted of a short cloak, with a sort of coarse jerkin underneath, a
pair of wide and ill-made knee-breeches, coarse blue woollen stockings,
and a pair of enormous wooden shoes. On his head was a brown felt hat,
of a conical shape, adorned with a cock's feather, and altogether
resembling those seen in paintings of Dutch boors. These outward
indications, then, settled the question of the minstrel's rank, and
rendered no ceremony necessary in inviting him in.
"You play well, friend," said Jones. "We have been listening to you, and
will be glad if you will come and amuse us for half-an-hour or so. I
will see to your being suitably recompensed."
"Thank you, honourable sirs," replied the minstrel. "I doubt not of my
recompense, were it once earned; but the hour is late, and I may not
tarry abroad longer. Moreover, I make it a rule never to enter any
house, or to perform to any private party within-doors. I bid you a
good-night, gentlemen."
"Nay, by my troth, and you do no such thing, friend," said Jones,
seizing the minstrel, who was at this moment about making off, by the
skirt of his jerkin. "We don't part with good company in this way.
Friends," he said, addressing his companions, "lend a hand here, to
secure the fiddler. We must compel him to his own interest, which he
would thus wilfully neglect."
No sooner said than done. In a twinkling the reluctant minstrel was
grasped on all sides, and in an instant after found himself in the
centre of the kitchen of the Drouthsloken, to which he had been carried
almost bodily, in despite of a certain quantum of vain resistance and
remonstrance, by which he had at first endeavoured to thwart the purpose
of his captors. On being brought into the light of the kitchen, it was
discovered that the captured fiddler and songster was deficient of an
eye, at least of the use of it, as it was covered by a large green
shade, apparently unnecessarily large, as it concealed the half of his
face. Another peculiarity was now also observable, and this was, that
the neck of his cloak was clasped at a most extraordinary height up on
his face, and that he would by no means listen to any entreaties, either
to lay aside the said cloak, or even to unloosen the clasp by which it
was secured in so strange a position. We need scarcely add, that the
effect of these various dispositions of his externals was to conceal
almost entirely his countenance, of which only a small portion of the
left side was visible; and even this it was attempted to circumscribe as
much as possible, by the disposition of the hair of the head, which was
carefully combed down over the exposed space.
"Come now, friend," said Jones, addressing the musician, and handing
him, at the same time, a huge brimmer of wine, "gulp this with a
celerity that shall be creditable to thy craft, man, and let us have
thereafter a taste of thy calling--some of thy merriest strains; for I
mean to see if we cannot make a dance of it, by the help of these fair
dames there"--inclining his head towards the landlord's daughters, who
still kept their ground in the kitchen; although, if the matter had been
inquired into, we rather fear they would have found some difficulty in
naming the particular duty that detained them.
Finding it of no use to resist the spirit which he saw prevailed amongst
the party, the minstrel quietly despatched the contents of the goblet
that had been presented to him, and commenced the duty that had been
imposed upon him. On the first sound of the preliminary flourish of his
bow becoming audible, Jones went up to the buxom daughters of Mynheer
Tromp, and in his most gallant manner asked them if they would have any
objection to take the floor with him and his friends, seeing that they
had unexpectedly made the acquisition of an admirable musician,
although, he must confess, rather an odd-looking man; and Jones, as he
made the latter remark, looked slyly at Juliana, to mark its effect, and
found it acknowledged by a deep but transient blush, which she
endeavoured to conceal.
The proposal, however, of a dance was accepted on the part of the
younger sister, Joan, with eager alacrity; and on the part of Juliana
with an appearance of the same willingness, but with a confusion and
hesitation of manner that gave token of a counteracting feeling. Having
obtained the consent of the fair sisters to "tread a measure," the gay
courtier took a hand of each, and gallantly led them to the middle of
the floor; intimating, at the same time, by signal, to his friends to
clear the space for the impending performances--a signal which they lost
no time in obeying; two or three seizing chairs apiece; and other two or
three--one of whom was the laird, who seemed to enter with great
goodwill into the spirit of the thing--lifting the table, with all it
carried, to a distant corner of the apartment.
Just as these preparations were completed, and while Jones stood in the
middle of the floor, doing the polite to his two ladies--but directing
his attentions most especially to the elder--their father, the jolly
Vander Tromp, who had been absent for a considerable time, entered the
apartment, when, perceiving what was going on--
"Ah, very goot, very goot!" he said, in his most hilarious manner--his
jolly, broad red face beaming with delight. "A daunce, a daunce--ah,
very goot thing a daunce"--and he cracked his finger and thumb, and
threw up one of his huge legs in the air, with an expression of
highly-excited feeling. Then, calming down a moment--"You vill have no
objection, Mynheer Jones, to my frow have share in the daunce?"
"Objection, Tromp!" ejaculated Jones, with well-feigned horror at the
supposition. "By no means. I shall be but too proud of the honour."
"An tank you, Mynheer Jones--you are too goot." And saying this, Vander
Tromp disappeared, with another joyous flourish of finger and thumb and
left leg, in search of Mrs Tromp, to conduct her into the presence of
the dancers, and to a share of their amusement.
In the meantime, the parties were set, and the dance commenced with
great vigour; Jones displaying in this exercise a degree of skill and
grace in entire keeping with the refinement of his general manner. His
spirits, too, were exuberant, and infused a life into all around him,
that all the other circumstances combined could not have inspired.
Although by no means wanting in attention to the younger lady, it might
be observed, however, that Jones was much more assiduous in his
civilities to Juliana; and, what was a yet more remarkable circumstance,
it might also have been observed, that the musician evinced a strange
sensation of uneasiness whenever he saw Jones paying any particular
attention to this lady. He fidgeted in his seat, bungled the tune he was
playing, and shot fiercer glances from his solitary optic on the
revellers on the floor, but most especially on Jones and his fair
favourite. What was odd, too, Jones seemed to be aware of the feeling he
was exciting in the sensitive fiddler, and to delight in the uneasiness
he was occasioning; for the more markedly it was evinced, the more
assiduous and persevering was he in his gallantries. Although, however,
all this might have been sufficiently evident to a close and vigilant
observer, it escaped the notice of those present; for Jones managed his
secret tactics, whatever these were, with great caution, and exhibited
no other symptoms of consciousness than a slight, scarcely perceptible,
smile of sly intelligence.
We have said that none present were cognisant of this mysterious
understanding, or rather misunderstanding, between Jones and the
musician; but we are not sure that this is quite correct. There was an
air of embarrassment about the manner of the fair Juliana, that seemed
to indicate that she was also in possession of some share of the secret
knowledge that was working so much underhand mischief; and of this Jones
appeared likewise to be aware.
Thus stood matters, then, with this trio, when Vander Tromp and his
wife--the former leading the latter on his arm--came tripping into the
kitchen, with the grace and agility of a couple of elephants; for the
worthy spouse of the worthy landlord of the Drouthsloken was, like
himself, of the regular Dutch build, and had very much the shape and
appearance of a featherbed upon legs, if such an object can be
conceived. Her breadth, which was naturally of the most formidable
dimensions, was greatly increased by a stiff silk gown, which projected
in rigid amplitude on all sides, and gave to her whole person an
appearance of illimitable expanse. Notwithstanding these vast
dimensions, there was yet a comeliness about her bulk, and an expression
of benevolence and good-nature in her rosy countenance, that rendered
her altogether by no means an unpleasing object.
On the entrance of mine host and his larger as well as better half,
Jones, with that gallant devotion which seemed natural to him, instantly
advanced towards the latter, and, with a preliminary flourish of some of
his most graceful obeisances, in which, perhaps, a very shrewd observer
might have discovered a slight tincture of mock gallantry, invited her
to join him in the next dance. The large lady, with a good-humoured
smile, curtsied a ready acquiescence to the polite invitation; and, in
the next instant, might be seen sailing majestically through the mazes
of the dance, closely attended by her respectful and devoted partner.
In the meantime, the unwilling musician seemed heartily tired of his
employment, and looked as if he would have given a trifle not only to
have got quit of that employment, but to have got out of the house
altogether. Jones, however, was inexorable; and the more marked the
fiddler's impatience became, the more unmercifully did he deal out his
orders to "play up;" and much did he seem to delight, although he kept
the satisfaction to himself, in the grin of irritation which his
commands never failed to produce on the countenance of the hapless
musician. Leaving, then, the general position of matters in the kitchen
of the Drouthsloken in this state, we shall resume the particular
history of the laird's proceedings, which we fear the reader may think
we have already too long neglected.
Of the ongoings of the evening the laird, who was now pretty well in the
wind, was an attentive, but by no means a silent, spectator. In the
enthusiasm which the proceedings passing before him had excited, he had
mounted a chair, and from that elevated position was whooping, and
yelling, and shouting, and clapping his hands--at once to express his
own delight in the performances, and to encourage the performers.
"That's it, my bonny lassie!" he screamed out, addressing the younger
Tromp, whose agility particularly pleased him. "'Od ye're just doin
amazinly! That's it! Kilt yer coats, ye cutty, and skelp at it withouten
fear or dread! That's the true way to mak a figure on a flure!"
"Feth, no amiss, guidwife, no amiss ava," he said, and now addressing
himself to the better half of mine host of the Drouthsloken, who was
heaving like a seventy-four in a ground-swell--"no amiss ava, considerin
the wecht ye carry. Ye're just doin wonderfu, too, to be sae broad in
the beam. My word, but ye are a sonsy lass," he continued, his attention
gradually directing itself to a contemplation of her personal
dimensions. "If ye're an unce, ye're twenty stane, quarry wecht; and
everybody kens that's no scrimpit."
"Weel dune, Jones! weel dune, lad! Hoo, hurrah! up wi't! Ye've a pair o'
guid souple shanks o' your ain. That's it, lad--that's it! Up wi't! Hoo,
hurrah, hurrah!"
And the laird clapped his hands with a vigour and energy that emitted a
sound more like the contact of a pair of boards than human palms; and
accompanying this expression of heartiness of feeling with whoops and
shouts, that drowned the noise of both feet and fiddle.
Impartial in the distribution of his praises, the laird now directed his
compliments to the various other members of the dancing party,
severally, and finished with mine host himself.
"Unco weel, laird, unco weel," he exclaimed, addressing that worthy
performer. "Really, unco weel! ye've a wonderfu licht foot to hae sic a
heavy stern. That's it, laird! Up wi' the left leg!--capital, capital!"
And again the laird clapped his hands, and again raised his tremendous
war-whoop.
Hitherto the dancers had paid no particular attention to the laird's
noisy expressions of interest in their proceedings; but they so highly
tickled Mr Jones, that, on the conclusion of the dance, he came laughing
up to the laird, and asked him if he would not take a turn on the floor
on the next occasion.
"No, thank ye, Mr Jones," replied the latter; "my dancin days are weel
aboot owre now; but, though the flesh is weak, the spirit's willin, and,
to mak mysel as guid company as possible, I'll tak a screed o' the
fiddle an ye like; for I'm mair souple aboot the elbows than the ankles
now-a-days, and, besides, I dinna think that fallow puts the richt
smeddum in his tunes. They're awfu draicky, and no like our Scotch
measures, that mak ye fling your legs aboot like flails, till ye dinna
ken whether your heels or your head's uppermost."
"Ah ha, very fair, laird," replied Jones, laughing; "and although I have
reasons for keeping all relief from the fiddler as long as possible, I
am so curious to hear your performance, that I, for my part, consent to
your taking a turn of his instrument, provided he will allow you."
"We'll try him," replied the laird, briefly, and at the same time
stepping down from his high place, and thereafter proceeding with Jones
towards the musician of the evening, in order to offer his services in
the way of assisting him.
"Friend," said Jones to the one-eyed minstrel, while the laird stood
behind, or rather beside him, waiting the result of his
application--"friend, have you any objection to be relieved a little in
your labours? Here is a brother musician, who would gladly take a turn
with you, provided you would favour him with the loan of your
instrument."
The only reply of the fiddler was a sullen, dissentient growl; for he
was as averse to speaking as to exposing his countenance.
"What! won't you lend our friend here your fiddle?" said Jones, now
bursting out into a fit of suppressed laughter, which seemed, from its
heartiness, and the relief which it evidently afforded him, to have been
long pent up. "Do, man, do--you had better do. _I'll_ be much obliged to
you"--with marked emphasis on the pronoun, which he further increased by
a gentle but significant tread on the toe of the perplexed minstrel,
who, after returning the secret intimation of Jones by a smile and an
intelligent leer of his open eye, handed the fiddle to the laird without
saying a word.