"YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND"
With an affectation of briskness he was far from feeling, Mr. Kemble
came down the stairs and joined his daughter in the hall. He had taken
pains to draw his hat well over his eyes, anticipating and dreading her
keen scrutiny, but, strange to say, his troubled demeanor passed
unnoticed. In the interval of waiting Helen's thoughts had taken a new
turn. "Well, papa," she began, as they passed into the street, "I am
curious to know about the sick man. You stayed an age, but all the same
I'm glad I came with you. Forebodings, presentiments, and all that kind
of thing seemed absurd the moment I saw Jackson's keen, mousing little
visage. His very voice is like a ray of garish light entering a dusky,
haunted room. Things suggesting ghosts and hobgoblins become
ridiculously prosaic, and you are ashamed of yourself and your fears."
"Yes, yes," replied Mr. Kemble, yielding to irritation in his deep
perplexity, "the more matter-of-fact we are the better we're off. I
suppose the best thing to do is just to face what happens and try to be
brave."
"Well, papa, what's happened to annoy you to-night? Is this sick man
going to make you trouble?"
"Like enough. I hope not. At any rate, he has claims which I must meet."
"Don't you think you can meet them?" was her next anxious query, her
mind reverting to some financial obligation.
"We'll see. You and mother'll have to help me out, I guess. I'll tell
you both when we get home;" and his sigh was so deep as to be almost a
groan.
"Papa," said Helen, earnestly pressing his arm, "don't worry. Mamma and
I will stand by you; so will Hobart. He is the last one in the world to
desert one in any kind of trouble."
"I know that, no one better; but I fear he'll be in deeper trouble than
any of us. The exasperating thing is that there should be any trouble
at all. If it had only happened before--well, well, I can't talk here
in the street. As you say, you must stand by me, and I'll do the best I
can by you and all concerned."
"Oh, papa, there was good cause for my foreboding."
"Well, yes, and no. I don't know. I'm at my wits' end. If you'll be
brave and sensible, you can probably do more than any of us."
"Papa, papa, something IS the matter with Hobart," and she drew him
hastily into the house, which they had now reached.
Mrs. Kemble met them at the door. Alarmed at her husband's troubled
face, she exclaimed anxiously, "Who is this man? What did he want?"
"Come now, mother, give me a chance to get my breath. We'll close the
doors, sit down, and talk it all over."
Mrs. Kemble and her daughter exchanged an apprehensive glance and
followed with the air of being prepared for the worst.
The banker sat down and wiped the perspiration from his brow, then
looked dubiously at the deeply anxious faces turned toward him. "Well,"
he said, "I'm going to tell you everything as far as I understand it.
Now I want to see if you two can't listen calmly and quietly and not
give way to useless feeling. There's much to be done, and you
especially, Helen, must be in the right condition to do it."
"Oh, papa, why torture me so? Something HAS happened to Hobart. I can't
endure this suspense."
"Something has happened to us all," replied her father, gravely.
"Hobart has acted like a hero, like a saint; so must you. He is as well
and able to go about as you are. I've seen him and talked with him."
"He saw you and not me?" cried the girl, starting up.
"Helen, I entreat, I command you to be composed and listen patiently.
Don't you know him well enough to be sure he had good reasons--"
"I can't imagine a reason," was the passionate reply, as she paced the
floor. "What reason could keep me from him? Merciful Heaven! father,
have you forgotten that I was to marry him to-day? Well," she added
hoarsely, standing before him with hands clinched in her effort at
self-restraint, "the reason?"
"Poor fellow! poor fellow! he has not forgotten it," groaned Mr.
Kemble. "Well, I might as well out with it. Suppose Captain Nichol was
not killed after all?"
Helen sank into a chair as if struck down as Nichol had been himself.
"What!" she whispered; and her face was white indeed.
Mrs. Kemble rushed to her husband, demanding, "Do you mean to tell us
that Captain Nichol is alive?"
"Yes; that's just the question we've got to face."
"It brings up another question," replied his wife, sternly. "If he's
been alive all this time, why did he not let us know? As far as I can
make out, Hobart has found him in Washington--"
"Helen," cried her father to the trembling girl, "for Heaven's sake, be
calm!"
"He's alive, ALIVE!" she answered, as if no other thought could exist
in her mind. Her eyes were kindling, the color coming into her face,
and her bosom throbbed quickly as if her heart would burst its bonds.
Suddenly she rushed to her father, exclaiming, "He was the sick man.
Oh, why did you not let me see him?"
"Well, well!" ejaculated Mr. Kemble, "Hobart was right, poor fellow!
Yes, Helen, Captain Nichol is the sick man, not dangerously ill,
however. You are giving ample reason why you should not see him yet;
and I tell you plainly you can't see him till you are just as composed
as I am."
She burst into a joyous, half-hysterical laugh as she exclaimed,
"That's not asking much. I never saw you so moved, papa. Little wonder!
The dead is alive again! Oh, papa, papa, you don't understand me at
all! Could I hear such tidings composedly--I who have wept so many long
nights and days over his death? I must give expression to overwhelming
feeling here where it can do no harm, but if I had seen him--when I do
see him--ah! he'll receive no harm from me."
"But, Helen, think of Hobart," cried Mrs. Kemble, in sharp distress.
"Mother, mother, I cannot help it. Albert is alive, ALIVE! The old
feeling comes back like the breaking up of the fountains of the great
deep. You cannot know, cannot understand; Hobart will. I'm sorry, SORRY
for him; but he will understand. I thought Albert was dead; I wanted to
make Hobart happy. He was so good and kind and deserving that I did
love him in a sincere, quiet way, but not with my first love, not as I
loved Albert. I thought my love was buried with him; but it has burst
the grave as he has. Papa, papa, let me go to him, now, NOW! You say he
is sick; it is my place to nurse him back to life. Who has a better
right? Why do you not bring him here?"
"Perhaps it will be best, since Helen feels so," said Mr. Kemble,
looking at his wife.
"Well, I don't know," she replied with a deep sigh. "We certainly don't
wish the public to be looking on any more than we can help. He should
be either here or at his own home."
"There's more reason for what you say than you think," Mr. Kemble began.
"There, papa," interrupted Helen, "I'd be more or less than human if I
could take! this undreamed-of news quietly, I can see how perplexed and
troubled you've been, and how you've kindly tried to prepare me for the
tidings. You will find that I have strength of mind to meet all that is
required of me. It is all simpler to me than to you, for in a matter of
this kind the heart is the guide, indeed, the only guide. Think! If
Albert had come back months ago; if Hobart had brought him back wounded
and disabled--how would we have acted? Only our belief in his death led
to what has happened since, and the fact of life changes everything
back to--"
"Now, Helen, stop and listen to me," said her father, firmly. "In one
sense the crisis is over, and you've heard the news which I scarcely
knew how to break to you. You say you will have strength of mind to
meet what is required of you. I trust you may. But it's time you
understood the situation as far as I do. Mother's words show she's off
the track in her suspicion. Nichol is not to blame in any sense. He is
deserving of all sympathy, and yet--oh, dear, it is such a
complication!" and the old man groaned as he thought of the personality
who best knew himself as Yankee Blank. "The fact is," he resumed to his
breathless listeners, "Nichol is not ill at all physically. His mind is
affected--"
Mrs. Kemble sank back in her chair, and Helen uttered a cry of dismay.
"Yes, his mind is affected peculiarly. He remembers nothing that
happened before he was wounded. You must realize this, Helen; you must
prepare yourself for it. His loss of memory is much more sad than if he
had lost an arm or a leg. He remembers only what he has picked up since
his injury."
"Then, then, he's not insane?" gasped Helen.
"No, no, I should say not," replied her father, dubiously; "yet his
words and manner produce much the same effect as if he were--even a
stronger effect."
"Oh, this is dreadful!" cried his wife.
"Dreadful indeed, but not hopeless, you know. Keep in mind doctors say
that his memory may come back at any time; and Hobart has the belief
that the sight and voice of Helen will bring it back."
"God bless Hobart," said Helen, with a deep breath, "and God help him!
His own love inspired that belief. He's right; I know he's right."
"Well, perhaps he is. I don't know. I thought Nichol would recognize
me; but there wasn't a sign."
"Oh, papa," cried Helen, smiling through her tears, "there are some
things which even your experience and wisdom fail in. Albert will know
me. We have talked long enough; now let us act."
"You don't realize it all yet, Helen; you can't. You must remember that
Nichol regained consciousness in a Southern hospital. He has learned to
talk and act very much like such soldiers as would associate with him."
"The fact that he's alive and that I now may restore him is enough,
papa."
"Well, I want Dr. Barnes present when you meet him."
"Certainly; at least within call."
"I must stipulate too," said Mrs. Kemble. "I don't wish the coming
scenes to take place in a hotel, and under the eyes of that gossip,
Jackson. I don't see why Hobart took him there."
"I do," said Mr. Kemble, standing up for his favorite. "Hobart has
already endured more than mortal man ought, yet he has been most
delicately considerate. No one but Jackson and Dr. Barnes know about
Nichol and his condition. I have also had Nichol's father and mother
sent for on my own responsibility, for they should take their share of
the matter. Hobart believes that Helen can restore Nichol's memory.
This would simplify everything and save many painful impressions. You
see, it's such an obscure trouble, and there should be no ill-advised
blundering in the matter. The doctors in Washington told Hobart that a
slight shock, or the sight of an object that once had the strongest
hold upon his thoughts--well, you understand."
"Yes," said Helen, "I DO understand. Hobart is trying to give Albert
the very best chance. Albert wrote that his last earthly thoughts would
be of me. It is but natural that my presence should kindle those
thoughts again. It was like Hobart, who is almost divine in his
thoughtfulness of others, to wish to shield Albert from the eyes of
even his own father and mother until he could know them, and know us
all. He was only taken to the hotel that we all might understand and be
prepared to do our part. Papa, bring Albert here and let his father and
mother come here also. He should be sacredly shielded in his infirmity,
and give a every chance to recover before being seen by others; and
please, papa, exact from Jackson a solemn promise not to tattle about
Albert."
"Yes, yes; but we have first a duty to perform. Mother, please prepare
a little lunch, and put a glass of your old currant wine on the tray.
Hobart must not come to a cold, cheerless home. I'll go and have his
old servant up and ready to receive him."
"No, mamma, that is still my privilege," said Helen, with a rush, of
tears. "Oh, I'm so sorry, SORRY for him! but neither he nor I can help
or change what is, what's true."
When the tray was ready, she wrote and sealed these words:
"God bless you, Hobart; God reward you! You have made me feel to-night
that earth is too poor, and only heaven rich enough to reward you.
"HELEN."