The author of this book has met in the world so many people possessed
by a fanatic passion for a knowledge of the mean time, for watches with
a second hand, and for exactness in the details of their existence,
that he has considered this Meditation too necessary for the
tranquillity of a great number of husbands, to be omitted. It would
have been cruel to leave men, who are possessed with the passion for
learning the hour of the day, without a compass whereby to estimate the
last variations in the matrimonial zodiac, and to calculate the precise
moment when the sign of the Minotaur appears on the horizon. The
knowledge of conjugal time would require a whole book for its
exposition, so fine and delicate are the observations required by the
task. The master admits that his extreme youth has not permitted him as
yet to note and verify more than a few symptoms; but he feels a just
pride, on his arrival at the end of his difficult enterprise, from the
consciousness that he is leaving to his successors a new field of
research; and that in a matter apparently so trite, not only was there
much to be said, but also very many points are found remaining which
may yet be brought into the clear light of observation. He therefore
presents here without order or connection the rough outlines which he
has so far been able to execute, in the hope that later he may have
leisure to co-ordinate them and to arrange them in a complete system.
If he has been so far kept back in the accomplishment of a task of
supreme national importance, he believes, he may say, without incurring
the charge of vanity, that he has here indicated the natural division
of those symptoms. They are necessarily of two kinds: the unicorns and
the bicorns. The unicorn Minotaur is the least mischievous. The two
culprits confine themselves to a platonic love, in which their passion,
at least, leaves no visible traces among posterity; while the bicorn
Minotaur is unhappiness with all its fruits.
We have marked with an asterisk the symptoms which seem to concern the
latter kind.