SHAMELA.

_P. S._ Just as I was going to send this away a Letter is come from

my Master, desiring me to return, with a large Number of Promises.--I

have him now as sure as a Gun, as you will perceive by the Letter

itself, which I have inclosed to you.

This Letter is unhappily lost, as well as the next which _Shamela_

wrote, and which contained an Account of all the Proceedings previous

to her Marriage. The only remaining one which I could preserve, seems

to have been written about a Week after the Ceremony was perform'd,

and is as follows:

SHAMELA BOOBY _to_ HENRIETTA MARIA HONORA ANDREWS.

_Madam_,

In my last I left off at our sitting down to Supper on our Wedding

Night,[1] where I behaved with as much Bashfulness as the purest

Virgin in the World could have done. The most difficult Task for me

was to blush; however, by holding my Breath, and Squeezing my Cheeks

with my Handkerchief, I did pretty well. My Husband was extreamly

eager and impatient to have Supper removed, after which he gave me

leave to retire into my Closet for a Quarter of an Hour, which was

very agreeable to me; for I employed that time in writing to Mr.

_Williams_, who, as I informed you in my last, is released, and

presented to the Living, upon the Death of the last Parson. Well, at

last I went to Bed, and my Husband soon leap'd in after me; where, I

shall only assure you, I acted my Part in such a manner, that no

Bridegroom was ever better Satisfied with his Bride's Virginity. And

to confess the Truth, I might have been well enough Satisfied too, if

I had never been acquainted with Parson _Williams_.

_O what regard Men who marry Widows should have to the Qualifications

of their former Husbands._

We did not rise the next Morning till eleven, and then we sat down to

Breakfast; I eat two Slices of Bread and Butter, and drank three

Dishes of Tea, with a good deal of Sugar, and we both look'd very

silly. After Breakfast we drest our selves, he in a blue Camblet

Coat, very richly lac'd, and Breeches of the same; with a Paduafoy

Waistcoat, laced with Silver; and I, in one of my Mistress's Gowns. I

will have finer when I come to Town. We then took a Walk in the

Garden, and he kissed me several times, and made me a Present of 100

Guineas, which I gave away before Night to the Servants, twenty to

one, and ten to another, and so on.

We eat a very hearty Dinner, and about eight in the Evening went to

Bed again. He is prodigiously fond of me; but I don't like him half

so well as my dear _Williams_. The next Morning we rose earlier, and

I asked him for another hundred Guineas, and he gave them me. I sent

fifty to Parson _Williams_, and the rest I gave away, two Guineas to

a Beggar, and three to a Man riding along the Road, and the rest to

other People. I long to be in _London_ that I may have an Opportunity

of laying some out, as well as giving away. I believe I shall buy

every thing I see. What signifies having Money if one doth not spend

it.

The next Day, as soon as I was up, I asked him for another Hundred.

Why, my Dear, says he, I don't grudge you any thing, but how was it

possible for you to lay out the other two Hundred here. La! Sir, says

I, I hope I am not obliged to give you an Account of every Shilling;

Troth, that will be being your Servant still. I assure you, I married

you with no such view, besides did not you tell me I should be

Mistress of your Estate? And I will be too. For tho' I brought no

Fortune, I am as much your Wife as if I had brought a Million--yes,

but, my Dear, says he, if you had brought a Million, you would spend

it all at this rate; besides, what will your Expences be in _London_,

if they are so great here. Truly, says I, Sir, I shall live like

other Ladies of my Fashion; and if you think, because I was a

Servant, that I shall be contented to be governed as you please, I

will shew you, you are mistaken. If you had not cared to marry me,

you might have let it alone. I did not ask you, nor I did not court

you. Madam, says he, I don't value a hundred Guineas to oblige you;

but this is a Spirit which I did not expect in you, nor did I ever

see any Symptoms of it before. O but Times are altered now, I am your

Lady, Sir; yes to my Sorrow, says he, I am afraid--and I am afraid to

my Sorrow too: For if you begin to use me in this manner already, I

reckon you will beat me before a Month's at an end. I am sure if you

did, it would injure me less than this barbarous Treatment; upon

which I burst into Tears, and pretended to fall into a Fit. This

frighted him out of his wits, and he called up the Servants. Mrs.

_Jewkes_ immediately came in, and she and another of the Maids fell

heartily to rubbing my Temples, and holding Smelling-Bottles to my

Nose. Mrs. _Jewkes_ told him she fear'd I should never recover, upon

which he began to beat his Breasts, and cried out, O my dearest

Angel, Curse on my passionate Temper, I have destroy'd her, I have

destroy'd her!----would she had spent my whole Estate rather than

this had happened. Speak to me, my Love, I will melt myself into Gold

for thy Pleasure. At last having pretty well tired my self with

counterfeiting, and imagining I had continu'd long enough for my

purpose in the sham Fit, I began to move my Eyes, to loosen my Teeth,

and to open my Hands, which Mr. _Booby_ no sooner perceived than he

embraced and kissed me with the eagerest Extacy, asked my Pardon on

his Knees for what I had suffered through his Folly and Perverseness,

and without more Questions fetched me the Money. I fancy I have

effectually prevented any farther Refusals or Inquiry into my

Expences. It would be hard indeed, that a Woman who marries a Man

only for his Money, should be debarred from spending it.

Well, after all things were quiet, we sat down to Breakfast, yet I

resolved not to smile once, nor to say one good-natured, or

good-humoured Word on any Account.

_Nothing can be more prudent in a Wife, than a sullen Backwardness to

Reconciliation; it makes a Husband fearful of offending by the Length

of his Punishment._

When we were drest, the Coach was by my Desire ordered for an Airing,

which we took in it. A long Silence prevailed on both Sides, tho' he

constantly squeezed my Hand, and kissed me, and used other

Familiarities, which I peevishly permitted. At last, I opened my

Mouth first.--And so, says I, you are sorry you are married;--Pray,

my Dear, says he, forget what I said in a Passion. Passion, says I,

is apter to discover our Thoughts than to teach us to counterfeit.

Well, says he, whether you will believe me or no, I solemnly vow, I

would not change thee for the richest Woman in the Universe. No, I

warrant you, says I; and yet you could refuse me a nasty hundred

Pound. At these very Words, I saw Mr. _Williams_ riding as fast as he

could across a Field; and I looked out, and saw a Lease of Greyhounds

coursing a Hare, which they presently killed, and I saw him alight,

and take it from them.

My Husband ordered _Robin_ to drive towards him, and looked horribly

out of humour, which I presently imputed to Jealousy. So I began with

him first; for that is the wisest way. La, Sir, says I; what makes

you look so Angry and Grim? Doth the Sight of Mr. _Williams_ give you

all this Uneasiness? I am sure, I would never have married a Woman of

whom I had so bad an Opinion, that I must be uneasy at every Fellow

she looks at. My Dear, answer'd he, you injure me extremely, you was

not in my Thoughts, nor, indeed, could be, while they were covered by

so morose a Countenance; I am justly angry with that Parson, whose

Family hath been raised from the Dunghill by ours; and who hath

received from me twenty Kindnesses, and yet is not contented to

destroy the Game in all other Places, which I freely give him leave

to do; but hath the Impudence to pursue a few Hares, which I am

desirous to preserve, round about this little Coppice. Look, my Dear,

pray look, says he; I believe he is going to turn Higler. To Confess

the Truth, he had no less than three ty'd up behind his Horse, and a

fourth he held in his Hand.

Pshaw, says I, I wish all the Hares in the Country were d----d (the

Parson himself chid me afterwards for using the Word, tho' it was in

his Service.) Here's a Fuss, indeed, about a nasty little pitiful

Creature, that is not half so useful as a Cat. You shall not persuade

me, that a Man of your Understanding, would quarrel with a Clergyman

for such a Trifle. No, no, I am the Hare, for whom poor Parson

_Williams_ is persecuted; and Jealousy is the Motive. If you had

married one of your Quality Ladies, she would have had Lovers by

dozens, she would so; but because you have taken a Servant-Maid,

forsooth! you are jealous if she but looks (and then I began to

Water) at a poor P----a----a----rson in his Pu----u----u----lpit, and

then out burst a Flood of Tears.

My Dear, said he, for Heaven's sake dry your Eyes, and don't let him

be a Witness of your Tears, which I should be sorry to think might be

imputed to my Unkindness; I have already given you Some Proofs that I

am not jealous of this Parson; I will now give you a very strong one:

For I will mount my Horse, and you shall take _Williams_ into the

Coach. You may be sure, this Motion pleased me, yet I pretended to

make as light of it as possible, and told him, I was sorry his

Behaviour had made some such glaring Instance, necessary to the

perfect clearing my Character.

He soon came up to Mr. _Williams_, who had attempted to ride off, but

was prevented by one of our Horsemen, whom my Husband sent to stop

him. When we met, my Husband asked him how he did with a very

good-humoured Air, and told him he perceived he had found good Sport

that Morning. He answered pretty moderate, Sir; for that he had found

the three Hares tied on to the Saddle dead in a Ditch (winking on me

at the same time), and added he was sorry there was such a Rot among

them.

Well, says Mr. _Booby_, if you please, Mr. _Williams_, you shall come

in and ride with my Wife. For my own part, I will mount on Horseback;

for it is fine Weather, and besides, it doth not become me to loll in

a Chariot, whilst a Clergyman rides on Horseback.

At which Words, Mr. _Booby_ leap'd out, and Mr. _Williams_ leap'd in,

in an Instant, telling my Husband as he mounted, he was glad to see

such a Reformation, and that if he continued his Respect to the

Clergy, he might assure himself of Blessings from above.

It was now that the Airing began to grow pleasant to me. Mr.

_Williams_, who never had but one Fault, _viz._ that he generally

smells of Tobacco, was now perfectly sweet; for he had for two Days

together enjoined himself as a Penance, not to smoke till he had

kissed my Lips. I will loosen you from that Obligation, says I, and

observing my Husband looking another way, I gave him a charming Kiss,

and then he asked me Questions concerning my Wedding-night; this

actually made me blush: I vow I did not think, it had been in him.

As he went along, he began to discourse very learnedly, and told me

the Flesh and the Spirit were too distinct Matters, which had not the

least relation to each other. That all immaterial Substances (those

were his very Words) such as Love, Desire, and so forth, were guided

by the Spirit: But fine Houses, large Estates, Coaches, and dainty

Entertainments were the Product of the Flesh. Therefore, says he, my

Dear, you have two Husbands, one the Object of your Love, and to

satisfy your Desire; the other the Object of your Necessity, and to

furnish you with those other Conveniences. (I am sure I remember

every Word, for he repeated it three Times; O he is very good

whenever I desire him to repeat a thing to me three times he always

doth it!) as then the Spirit is preferable, to the Flesh, so am I

preferable to your other Husband, to whom I am antecedent in Time

likewise. I say these things, my Dear, (said he) to satisfie your

Conscience. A Fig, for my Conscience, said I, when shall I meet you

again in the Garden?

My Husband now rode up to the Chariot, and asked us how we did--I

hate the Sight of him. Mr. _Williams_ answered very well, at your

Service. They then talked of the Weather, and other things, I wished

him gone again, every Minute; but all in vain I had no more

Opportunity of conversing with Mr. _Williams_.

Well; at Dinner Mr. _Booby_ was very civil to Mr. _Williams_, and

told him he was sorry for what had happened, and would make him

sufficient Amends, if in his power, and desired him to accept of a

Note for fifty Pounds; which he was so _good_ to receive,

notwithstanding all that had past; and told Mr. _Booby_, he hop'd he

would be forgiven, and that he would pray for him.

We make a charming Fool of him, i'fackins; Times are finely altered,

I have entirely got the better of him, and am resolved never to give

him his Humour.

_O how foolish it is in a Woman, who hath once got the Reins into her

own Hand, ever to quit them again._

After Dinner Mr. _Williams_ drank the Church _et cætera_; and smiled

on me; when my Husband's Turn came, he drank _et cætera_ and the

Church; for which he was very severely rebuked by Mr. _Williams_; it

being a high Crime, it seems, to name any thing before the Church. I

do not know what _Et cetera_ is, but I believe it is something

concerning chusing Pallament Men; for I asked if it was not a Health

to Mr. _Booby's_ Borough, and Mr. _Williams_ with a hearty Laugh

answered, Yes, Yes, it is his Borough we mean.

I slipt out as soon as I could, hoping Mr. _Williams_ would finish

the Squire, as I have heard him say he could easily do, and come to

me; but it happened quite otherwise, for in about half an Hour,

_Booby_ came to me, and told me he had left Mr. _Williams_, the Mayor

of his Borough, and two or three Aldermen heartily at it, and asked

me if I would go hear _Williams_ sing a Catch, which, added he, he

doth to a Miracle.

Every Opportunity of seeing my dear _Williams_, was agreeable to me,

which indeed I scarce had at this time; for when we returned, the

whole Corporation were got together, and the Room was in a Cloud of

Tobacco; Parson _Williams_ was at the upper End of the Table, and he

hath pure round cherry Cheeks, and his Face look'd all the World to

nothing like the Sun in a Fog. If the Sun had a Pipe in his Mouth,

there would be no Difference.

I began now to grow uneasy, apprehending I should have no more of Mr.

_Williams's_ Company that Evening, and not at all caring for my

Husband, I advised him to sit down and drink for his Country with the

rest of the Company; but he refused, and desired me to give him some

Tea; swearing nothing made him so sick, as to hear a Parcel of

Scoundrels, roaring forth the Principles of honest Men over their

Cups, when, says he, I know most of them are such empty Blockheads,

that they don't know their right Hand from their left; and that

Fellow there, who hath talked so much of _Shipping_, at the left Side

of the Parson, in whom they all place a Confidence, if I don't take

care, will sell them to my Adversary.

I don't know why I mention this Stuff to you; for I am sure I know

nothing about _Pollitricks_, more than Parson _Williams_ tells me;

who says that the Court-side are in the right on't, and that every

Christian ought to be on the same with the Bishops.

When we had finished our Tea, we walked in the Garden till it was

dark, and then my Husband proposed, instead of returning to the

Company, (which I desired, that I might see Parson _Williams_ again,)

to sup in another Room by our selves, which, for fear of making him

jealous, and considering too, that Parson _Williams_ would be pretty

far gone, I was obliged to consent to.

_O! what a devilish thing it is, for a Woman to be obliged to go to

bed to a spindle-shanked young Squire, she doth not like, when there

is a jolly Parson in the same House she is fond of._

In the Morning I grew very peevish, and in the Dumps, notwithstanding

all he could say or do to please me. I exclaimed against the

Priviledge of Husbands, and vowed I would not be pulled and tumbled

about. At last he hit on the only Method, which could have brought me

into Humour, and proposed to me a Journey to _London_, within a few

Days. This you may easily guess pleased me; for besides the Desire

which I have of shewing my self forth, of buying fine Cloaths,

Jewels, Coaches, Houses, and ten thousand other fine things, Parson

_Williams_ is, it seems, going thither too, to be _instuted_.

_O! what a charming Journey I shall have; for I hope to keep the dear

Man in the Chariot with me all the way; and that foolish Booby (for

that is the Name Mr._ Williams _hath set him) will ride on

Horseback._

So as I shall have an Opportunity of seeing you so shortly, I think I

will mention no more Matters to you now. O I had like to have forgot

one very material thing; which is that it will look horribly, for a

Lady of my Quality and Fashion, to own such a Woman as you for my

Mother. Therefore we must meet in private only, and if you will never

claim me, nor mention me to any one, I will always allow you what is

very handsome. Parson _Williams_ hath greatly advised me in this; and

says, he thinks I should do very well to lay out twenty Pounds, and

set you up in a little Chandler's Shop: but you must remember all my

Favours to you will depend on your Secrecy; for I am positively

resolved, I will not be known to be your Daughter; and if you tell

any one so, I shall deny it with all my Might, which Parson

_Williams_ says, I may do with a safe Conscience, being now a married

Woman. So I rest

_Your humble Servant_,