PROFIT AND LOSS.
Now that we have finished our first year’s experience, and shown how
readily a person can pass from the profession of a lawyer to that of an
agriculturist, we come to the subject which, after all, is the great
question of both city and country life, and which we have always kept so
steadily in view--the question of profit and loss. The reader must bear
in mind that I had great difficulties to contend with; no one had kindly
set out fruit-trees for me, nor started my asparagus and strawberry
beds, nor even laid out my garden. Moreover, the weather had been
exceptionally hot and dry; for it does usually rain occasionally during
the summer in our climate, and several accidents had happened that can
hardly be expected to take place invariably. The profit, therefore, must
be looked for, not in the merely vulgar, material sense, but somewhat in
the sensations, thoughts, and experiences that were included in the
results of the year’s labor. To be sure, there was an indirect material
gain: if I had gone to Saratoga or Newport, or had hired a summer
residence elsewhere, $2000 or $3000 would hardly have covered the
expense, even if I did not fall into the clutches of the “tiger;” and if
I had staid in the city, at the present price of mint juleps and sherry
cobblers, and the present dusty condition of the public thoroughfares, I
could hardly have got off for less. The pure air of Flushing supplied
the place of both these excitements, while the deep interest of my
agricultural pursuits kept my mind in a pleasant state of occupation.
The original outlay for house and grounds was, in round numbers,
$15,000; my fruit-trees cost $145 50, which must be added to principal
of investment, as it was not to be expected I should have to buy
fruit-trees every year. The strawberry plants cost $20, and this should
also be part of principal; but, as they all died, it may be that this
must be yearly expense, at least for the first season. The asparagus
plants cost $25, and we can hardly be able to tell where to place that
item until next year shall determine what becomes of them. The baker’s
boy, who served me with bread, ran his cart against my gate-post, and
put me to an expense of $35 for repairs; this clearly should be
principal, as he could hardly be expected to renew the operation yearly;
besides, he has been dismissed by his employer. My seeds cost $3 75,
and, as they never came up, I fear they must go to annual expenditure.
The bean-poles cost $2, and, if the neighboring boys do not steal them,
that is an item of investment. The nest-eggs for the hens cost 75 cents,
which, I have been informed, is more than they are worth; but that
constitutes permanent capital. My furniture was badly damaged in being
transported from the city to the country, and then from the country to
the city; the legs of the chairs became somewhat displaced, and the
upper drawer fell out of one bureau, that was laid face downward; but,
as I am now suing the express-men for damages by reason of their
negligence, it is hard to say whether this should be included; I have
put my damages at $250, but, perhaps, for the purposes of this work, we
might reduce them to $25. Dandy Jim cost $450, and ate about half as
much in hay and oats, and smashed my wagon to such an extent that the
repairs came to $50, and the wagon was nearly ruined. I paid $100 for
the cow, and would not part with her for twice the money. The chickens
cost $105, which item must go to annual expenditure, less the value of
one mink skin. The pig cost $12, and grew finely, eating not only all
the kitchen refuse, but a good feed of corn-meal and water three times
a day; unfortunately, pork fell, and when he was killed he would only
have produced $11 in market; but, as we intended to cure and eat him, he
would have been fairly worth what we should have had to pay for salt
pork by retail, had not an accident happened that will be described
hereafter. The value of the premises was really greatly enhanced by
their occupation and the improvements made on them, but the precise
amount of such increase is too indefinite to be stated with the accuracy
required by this work, consequently it is omitted altogether, the
intention of the writer being to give only such items as may be fully
relied on by any person intending to embark in a similar venture.
The account may be stated as follows:
INVESTMENT.--DEBIT.
Premises $15,000 00
Fruit-trees 145 50
Shade-trees (mostly in wrong places) 107 00
Asparagus plants (doubtful) 25 00
Repairs to gate 35 00
Bean-poles 2 00
Dandy Jim 450 00
Cow 100 00
Nest-eggs 75
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Total $15,865 25
INVESTMENT.--CREDIT.
Premises worth $15,000 00
Trees (besides improving the premises) 350 00
Asparagus-bed (if successful) 150 00
Bean-poles (if not stolen) 2 00
Dandy Jim (would be glad to take) 200 00
Cushy (would not sell her for) 200 00
Nest-egg (all but one lost) 05
----------
Total $15,902 05
The increased value in the trees is due to the fact that they have been
standing some months, and are really worth so much more on one’s place
than crowded together in a nursery. A few may die--but it is not well to
anticipate misfortunes--and the expense of replacing them will, in such
case, fall into the annual account of the succeeding year.
YEARLY EXPENDITURE.
Interest on investment $1050 00
Strawberry plants 20 00
Seeds 3 75
Damages to furniture 25 00
Repairs of wagon (yearly expenditure so long as
Dandy Jim remains with me) 50 00
Chickens 105 00
--------
Total $1253 75
YEARLY PROCEEDS.
Expense of trip to Newport or Saratoga saved $2000 00
Proceeds from suit against express-men 50 00
Costs, ditto 200 00
One mink skin 25
--------
Total $2250 25
The profits of my first year were not large, but sufficient to induce me
to continue the experiment. There may be some few items of expense, such
as neglect of business, which are omitted; but the amount is difficult
to compute, and rather too remote, as we lawyers say, for the business
might have been neglected in any event. The mink skin was taken at a bad
season of the year for the fur; it is included among the annual receipts
as an offset to the chickens, and in the confident expectation that if
another mink were to do similar damage he would suffer the same fate.
The clear profit may be set down at $1000 in round numbers, which was
entirely satisfactory, considering the unusual difficulties that
presented themselves, and which more experience and less drought would
probably remove in succeeding years. It will be observed that the costs
of suit are included, although the case is not yet tried; but as it is a
question involving a long account of many items, and is brought by a
lawyer, the judge will probably refer it to another lawyer, who will
undoubtedly perceive the justice of the claim. The amount of both
recovery and costs is rather understated, if any thing. This is a source
of profit that could only be counted on by one of the profession; a
non-professional would probably find it the other way; but, as the
damages are charged, the receipts must go against them. The saving on
the trip to Newport or Saratoga is fairly included, as none of my
readers would expect me to pass the summer in town.
This was certainly, taken all in all, a flattering exhibit, as, with the
charming and original author of “Ten Acres Enough,” when he forgot to
put any clothing on the backs of his wife and daughters, we must not
confine our view merely to the humdrum matter of fact affairs of
every-day life, but must look at the whole subject from a higher
stand-point. Think of all the pleasures, intellectual and physical, of
the change from the dull, dreary city streets to the lovely country
roads--from the nasty Croton, running through its poisonous leaden
pipes, and vulgarly penetrating into every room on every story, to the
pure, sparkling well-water, so fresh and delicious (after the cat was
removed), drawn from the deep well by pump or bucket. Think of going
from the unhealthy atmosphere of overcrowded New York, where sickness of
all kinds is on the look-out for its victims--where pestilence stalks in
the noonday--to the invigorating air of Flushing, where a slight attack
of chills and fever, if it does happen, is rather an agreeable variety.
Think of escaping from the offensive over-supply of Fulton and
Washington Markets, and the consequent difficulty in making selections
for the daily returning dinner, and being every morning informed by the
butcher-boy that you can have a beefsteak or mutton-chop, and nothing
else, according as hairy or woolly cattle are cheapest. Think of all
these advantages, apart from pecuniary considerations!
In a moral aspect, the advantage is equally striking. No late hours or
evening dissipations at Flushing--no demoralizing club-life--no
theatrical entertainments--no political meetings. Occasionally, perhaps,
some exponent of the water-cure theory, some second-rate necromancer,
some believer in spiritualism, or some devotee of cold water, gives a
lecture at the town hall; but these can scarcely rise to the dangerous
dignity of dissipations, and are agreeably somnolescent in their
influence. Husbands are not apt to be led away by them into neglecting
their wives, nor literary or professional men into deserting their
books; while for the youth of either sex these attractions are not
excessive. Once in a while there may be a public ball, but, as every one
has been seeing every body else every day in every week for months, if
not years, and as nothing but ice cream, cakes, and lemonade are served
round, it is a mild species of orgy at worst.
But, to escape from moral considerations and to return to practical
ones, it will be observed that the pig does not appear in the accounts;
this is due to what may properly be called an accident, and can not be
blamed to the writer. Piggy grew finely, and toward Christmas Patrick
butchered him in artistic style, and brought him to the city. He must
have weighed 220 lbs., although, not having scales sufficiently strong
to sustain that weight, I can not be positive that he did not exceed it;
but, unfortunately, the price of pork was then only five cents per
pound, which would have brought him to eleven dollars, whereas we had
paid twelve for him six months before, and put a goodly amount of corn,
to say nothing of swill, into him besides. He was not for sale, however,
being intended for the salting-kettle, and I proceeded to cut him up.
I was not skilled in the art of animal dissection, and the result would
hardly have been approved by a scientific butcher. His back was
particularly hard to split, especially with no better instrument than a
heavy carving-knife, which was somewhat nicked in the operation, and it
was very difficult to chop in the true line. Surgery not having been a
part of my education, I found the disjointing of the limbs an intricate
process. The shoulders and hams took
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odd shapes, unlike what I had been accustomed to seeing on table, and
the flesh insisted upon looking more like gobs than the ordinary pieces.
Still, Patrick was strong, and he pulled as I cut, and between us
something was sure to give way, and I succeeded in separating the
joints, and reducing him to a shape that would go into the barrel, the
abundant fat that I encountered in the process promising well for the
quality of the future salt pork that he was to make.
Weeville had given me an accurate recipe for preparing the brine that
was to cover him: it was to be composed of salt and water boiled, and
strong enough to bear an egg, with a modicum of saltpetre. The hams and
shoulders were to be rubbed well with brown sugar, with a view to their
being smoked, and the brine was to be poured over the pork after the
latter had been carefully packed in the barrel, and then a weight was to
be laid on top.
These directions were very explicit, and it seemed impossible to make a
mistake; but, unfortunately, Weeville forgot to mention that the brine
must be allowed to cool before it is used. Being ignorant of this
important particular, I poured the boiling pickle over the meat, which
had been carefully disposed in the bottom of a huge hogshead, and calmly
awaited the effect. Without entering into farther particulars on this
painful subject, it is sufficient to say that we did not eat our own
salt pork that year. It would undoubtedly have been remarkably fine, and
far superior to any thing that is to be had in market, for it is my firm
impression that that pig had eaten three or four times its weight in
corn before it had consented to harden its flesh, which my scientific
neighbors tell me is the object in feeding corn. I bore the
disappointment as well as I could, but it is to be regretted that
people are not more careful to be exact in their instructions; and,
above all, when an error of this kind is committed and pointed out, they
should not reply--as Weeville was inconsiderate enough to do, when I
told him of his omission--“Well, I thought you knew enough for that.”
This loss, being a mere accident, for which I was clearly no more to
blame than if my pocket had been picked in the cars, or I had trod on a
nail when surveying my garden and been compelled to pay doctor’s bills,
is not fairly chargeable to the account of country life. In fact, the
loss took place in the city; for when the pig left the country he was
manifestly worth eleven, if not twelve dollars, at market rates, and was
even more valuable for home consumption. The loss was not my fault, nor
the pig’s fault, and Weeville says it was not his fault--and it
certainly was not the fault of country life--so I have omitted it
altogether from the statement.
I have been particular to be thus explicit and exact, and to keep every
thing within bounds; for, knowing what numbers will be induced by these
pages to follow my example, I wish to give them merely such views and
facts as they can implicitly rely upon; and it is confidently believed
that any other professional man can do as well as I did, or very nearly
so, with any five acres he may select in the vicinity of Flushing, or in
some other equally eligible locality, if any locality as eligible as
that delightful and fashionable village can be found--a point about
which, until my lots are sold, I shall continue to have very great
doubts.
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