SOCIALISM
Useful! I was making myself useful! The captain's words rang in my ears.
I remembered how I had wondered quite lately what use my life was,
and who in the world would have suffered by it, or missed me if I had
disappeared. Instead of which I filled a place well, to-day. My death
would have been a loss. I certainly exaggerated the importance of my
rôle, but the satisfaction each evening of having kept intact or added
to the strength which was given to me, was so sweet to me.
It did me more credit, perhaps, than some of the others. I had always
professed not only a lack of curiosity about all manual labour, but a
disgust of it. It was the stupidity of a young intellectual inclined to
consider everything which did not show off the superior play of thought
as a vulgar task. Who would dream how far I carried this detachment?
The farthest I ever got, towards the end of my term of service, was to
do up the buckles of my pack,--Guillaumin always had to help me. I had
begun to realise during the last few days what grandeur may lie in the
fulfilment of humble duties. A leader of men, especially in the modest
sphere in which I gravitated owing to my lowly rank, has no right to
shirk any subjection. He does not get into touch with his subordinates,
or inspire them with complete esteem and confidence, unless he
succeeds in proving to them that even in the field of everyday tasks,
he is cleverer, better informed, and more expert than they are. The
complete man calmly considers all the difficulties which may arise,
from the most trivial to the most serious, and being unworthy of none
of them, considers none of them unworthy of him.
So I no longer avoided, but rather sought, occasions to expend myself.
I followed Guillaumin's example, and drew on all I had read and
remembered. To speak the truth, when I tried, inexperienced as I was,
to put my ideas into practice, my advice was not very much to the point.
Bouillon doubled up with laughter when I told him to damp the case
of his water-bottle, or again when we got to our quarters that rainy
evening and I advised him to stuff his boots with dry straw.
"Go an' teach yer grandfather! Just take a look at yours, an' see if I
'aven't done it!"
The last of my _poilus_ could have put me right on endless questions of
a practical nature. Quite so! But I could be useful to them in other
ways. Once when arms were being cleaned, Gaudéreaux had seen fit to
take his repeating apparatus to pieces, and came to grief over putting
it together again. He called me to his aid. It was a difficult problem.
Guillaumin certainly offered me his help, but I refused it, anxious to
find out how to do it myself. It took me a long time, but I succeeded
at last, which was satisfactory.
There was a large field open to me. I had retained the knowledge I
had acquired as an instructor of recruits. It was not a question of
worrying the men with theories, but they willingly collected to have
friendly chats, and ended by enjoying the séances, where one evening,
after having explained the principles of orientation to them, I taught
them how to recognise the Great Bear and the Polar Star. On other days
we went into other matters: to do with the advance under fire, of the
artillery and infantry (we knew all about that!), of the supply of
ammunition and the commissariat; or of subjects vaster still--Germany's
ambitions, and the causes of the present war. When we were marching we
organised competitions in judging distances. We picked out a tree or a
house, and then each one had to calculate how many steps he expected
to take, and count them afterwards to see how far out he was. Lamalou
proved to be extraordinarily gifted in this respect. He was never more
than twenty yards out. We would find a way of making use of that.
After a few tentative ventures, I found my bent. I had always been
interested in medicine. A handbook on hygiene, which De Valpic lent me,
completed my sketchy equipment. The next thing to be done was to put
it into practice. The soldiers suffered chiefly, as usual, from sore
feet--a crop of blisters and sores. I preached cleanliness first, and
methodical greasing. But the sore places, some of which were septic,
must be cured. Most of the men seemed entirely ignorant of how to treat
a blister. Guillaumin and I arranged a demonstration one evening with
great success. Once having won their confidence, we treated them for
various little ills--diluted tincture of iodine did wonders.
One great danger was the water, which caused a great deal of diarrhoea.
It was not always possible to boil the contents of our water-bottles.
I had some permanganate of potash; a few crystals placed in the
water-buckets assured a relative sterilisation. Our platoon made it a
point of honour to have as few men as possible at sick parade. We only
had two in a week. Trichet, who sprained his ankle, wept with rage at
leaving us.
My little cures were appreciated. Men came to ask my advice now, even
from No. 1 platoon. I had some idea of massage and set up a surgery.
The men appealed to me in doubtful cases. One evening, I remember, the
party sent on ahead to choose the camp had picked some mushrooms on the
way. Breton insisted on their waiting for me. I really was not very
well up in the matter. However, I did not quite like the look of the
valvular formation at the base, and ordered them to throw them away.
They obeyed without protesting. I learnt shortly afterwards from De
Valpic, that it had saved a good many lives.
How much joy I got out of my disinterested efforts! Not only that of
useful labour accomplished. The incessant contact, our conversations,
the services rendered mutually, made me fonder of each of my companions
every day. I was getting into touch with the people again. I no longer
considered, as I used to, that it would satisfy me to live in the bosom
of a restricted caste of beings brought up in the same way as I had
been. I suddenly once more became aware of the ascendency of certain
doctrines.
Social morality had always seemed to be a poor morality for those on
the right side of the barrier, as I was. Now I realised my mistake.
There should be neither oppressors nor oppressed, neither dominators
nor dominated,--alliance and not confusion of the different social
classes. "Each for all and all for each," as the old saying is. Were we
not all co-operating with the same heart in the same work? If between
these soldiers and me there was a dissimilarity in education and
disposition, if I, at their head, was exempt from the most thankless
fatigues, did that prevent reciprocal collaboration and esteem, or stop
any one being satisfied with their fate? No, no. Prunelle agreed; the
chief thing was that each class should know the other, then it would
not be long before they appreciated each other, and recognised each
other as brothers, and not such very different brothers either!
This idea, in particular, clung to me. Disparities due to education
and upbringing, to the style of life, are, to a certain extent,
exterior. How little they count for in comparison with the tongue,
the customs, and disposition which are shared in common by the sons
of one nation and which draw them together. Between the people and
the aristocracy the difference is simply that which exists between
youth and ripe middle age. The people are like a young and lusty lad,
who only asks to be allowed to grow! What were the common sense of an
Icard, the animation of a Judsi, the self-denial of a Bouillon, if not
the deep-rooted qualities of our soil and race? There is enjoyment in
breathing them, when one also exhales them!