1. Ingersoll as a Farmer

When I was a farmer they used to haul wheat two hundred miles in wagons

and sell it for thirty-five cents a bushel. They would bring home about

three hundred feet of lumber, two bunches of shingles, a barrel of salt,

and a cook-stove that never would draw and never did bake.

In those blessed days the people lived on corn and bacon. Cooking was

an unknown art. Eating was a necessity, not a pleasure. It was hard work

for the cook to keep on good terms even with hunger. We had poor houses.

The rain held the roofs in perfect contempt, and the snow drifted

joyfully on the floors and beds. They had no barns. The horses were kept

in rail pens surrounded with straw. Long before spring the sides would

be eaten away and nothing but roofs would be left. Food is fuel. When

the cattle were exposed to all the blasts of winter, it took all

the corn and oats that could be stuffed into them to prevent actual

starvation. In those times farmers thought the best place for the

pig-pen was immediately in front of the house. There is nothing like

sociability. Women were supposed to know the art of making fires without

fuel. The wood-pile consisted, as a general thing, of one log, upon

which an axe or two had been worn out in vain. There was nothing

to kindle a fire with. Pickets were pulled from the garden fence,

clap-boards taken from the house, and every stray plank was seized upon

for kindling. Everything was done in the hardest way. Everything about

the farm was disagreeable.

Ingersollia Gems of Thought from the Lectures, Speeches, and Conversations of Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, Representative of His Opinions and Beliefs · 第 8 / 549 题