The management of servants is a great part of the employment of a
woman’s life; and her own temper depends very much on her behaviour to
them.
Servants are, in general, ignorant and cunning; we must consider their
characters, if we would treat them properly, and continually practise
forbearance. The same methods we use with children may be adopted with
regard to them. Act uniformly, and never find fault without a just
cause; and when there is, be positive, but not angry. A mind that is not
too much engrossed by trifles, will not be discomposed by every little
domestic disaster; and a thinking person can very readily make allowance
for those faults which arise from want of reflection and education. I
have seen the peace of a whole family disturbed by some trivial, cross
accident, and hours spent in useless upbraidings about some mistake
which would never have been thought of, but for the consequences that
arose from it. An error in judgment or an accident should not be
severely reprehended. It is a proof of wisdom to profit by experience,
and not lament irremediable evils.
A benevolent person must ever wish to see those around them comfortable,
and try to be the cause of that comfort. The wide difference which
education makes, I should suppose, would prevent familiarity in the way
of equality; yet kindness must be shewn, if we are desirous that our
domestics should be attached to our interest and persons. How pleasing
it is to be attended with a smile of willingness, to be consulted when
they are at a loss, and looked up to as a friend and benefactor when
they are in distress. It is true we may often meet with ingratitude, but
it ought not to discourage us; the refreshing showers of heaven
fertilize the fields of the unworthy, as well as the just. We should
nurse them in illness, and our superior judgment in those matters would
often alleviate their pains.
Above all, we owe them a good example. The ceremonials of religion, on
their account, should be attended to; as they always reverence them to a
superstitious degree, or else neglect them. We should not shock the
faith of the meanest fellow-creature; nay more, we should comply with
their prejudices; for their religious notions are so over-run with them,
that they are not easily separated; and by trying to pluck up the tares,
we may root up the wheat with them.
The woman who gives way to caprice and ill-humour in the kitchen, cannot
easily smooth her brow when her husband returns to his fire-side; nay,
he may not only see the wrinkles of anger, but hear the disputes at
second-hand. I heard a Gentleman say, it would break any man’s heart to
hear his wife argue such a case. Men who are employed about things of
consequence, think these affairs more insignificant than they really
are; for the warmth with which we engage in any business increases its
importance, and our not entering into them has the contrary effect.
The behaviour of girls to servants is generally in extremes; too
familiar or haughty. Indeed the one often produces the other, as a
check, when the freedoms are troublesome.
We cannot make our servants wise or good, but we may teach them to be
decent and orderly; and order leads to some degree of morality.