It may be thought, that artificial manners and exterior accomplishments
are much the same; but I think the former take a far wider range, and
are materially different. The one arises from affectation, and the other
seems only an error in judgment.
The emotions of the mind often appear conspicuous in the countenance and
manner. These emotions, when they arise from sensibility and virtue, are
inexpressibly pleasing. But it is easier to copy the cast of
countenance, than to cultivate the virtues which animate and improve it.
How many people are like whitened sepulchres, and careful only about
appearances! yet if we are too anxious to gain the approbation of the
world, we must often forfeit our own.
How bewitching is that humble softness of manners which humility gives
birth to, and how faint are the imitations of affectation! That
gentleness of behaviour, which makes us courteous to all, and that
benevolence, which makes us loth to offend any, and studious to please
every creature, is sometimes copied by the polite; but how aukward is
the copy! The warmest professions of regard are prostituted on all
occasions. No distinctions are made, and the esteem which is only due to
merit, appears to be lavished on all—Nay, affection is affected; at
least, the language is borrowed, when there is no glow of it in the
heart. Civility is due to all, but regard or admiration should never be
expressed when it is not felt.
As humility gives the most pleasing cast to the countenance, so from
sincerity arises that artlessness of manners which is so engaging. She
who suffers herself to be seen as she really is, can never be thought
affected. She is not solicitous to act a part; her endeavour is not to
hide; but correct her failings, and her face has of course that beauty,
which an attention to the mind only gives. I never knew a person really
ugly, who was not foolish or vicious; and I have seen the most beautiful
features deformed by passion and vice. It is true, regular features
strike at first; but it is a well ordered mind which occasions those
turns of expression in the countenance, which make a lasting impression.
Feeling is ridiculous when affected; and even when felt, ought not to be
displayed. It will appear if genuine; but when pushed forward to notice,
it is obvious vanity has rivalled sorrow, and that the prettiness of the
thing is thought of. Let the manners arise from the mind, and let there
be no disguise for the genuine emotions of the heart.
Things merely ornamental are soon disregarded, and disregard can
scarcely be borne when there is no internal support.
To have in this uncertain world some stay, which cannot be undermined,
is of the utmost consequence; and this stay it is, which gives that
dignity to the manners, which shews that a person does not depend on
mere human applause for comfort and satisfaction.