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The Heather-Moon
By C. N. & A. M. WILLIAMSON
Authors of "The Guests of Hercules," "The Princess Virginia." "The Motor
Maid." etc.
A. L. BURT COMPANY Publishers New York
_Copyright, 1912, by_ C. N. & A. M. Williamson
_All rights reserved, including that of translation into Foreign
Languages, including the Scandinavian._
BOOK I
THE PRELUDE: AND THE PEOPLE
I
For the first time in her life, Barrie saw the door that led to the
garret stairs standing ajar. It was always, always locked, as is
correct, though irritating, for a door that leads to Fairyland.
In Barrie's Outer Life that her grandmother knew, and Miss Hepburn knew,
and Mrs. Muir the housekeeper knew, there was--Heaven be praised!--no
romance at all; for romance is an evil thing, still worse, a frivolous
thing, which may be avoided for a well-brought-up girl though
whopping-cough may not; and already this same evil had wrought vast
damage among the MacDonalds of Dhrum. In the Inner Life of Barrie,
however, there was nothing worth thinking about except romance; and the
door of the garret stairs was one of the principal roads to the
forbidden land.
She stopped in front of it. At first she could not believe her eyes. Her
heart had given a glorious bound, which, only to have felt once in its
full ecstasy, was worth the bother of being born into a family where
there were no mothers or fathers, but only--ah, what an awesome
only!--grim old Grandma MacDonald and Grandma MacDonald's grim old house
where Carlisle ends and moorlands begin.
It is difficult to be sure of things when your heart is beating nineteen
to the dozen, and the special thing, or mirage of a thing,
seems--judging from all else that has happened in Outer Life--much too
good to be true. Yet there it was, that streak of dull, mote-misted
gold, painting what actually appeared to be a crack between the dark
frame of the door and the dark old door itself--just such gold as Barrie
had seen at least once a day ever since she could remember (except when
mumps and measles kept her in bed) by applying an eye to the keyhole.
"Fairy gold" she had named it.
The only person who ever went into the garret was Mrs. Muir, and though
she had the air of making no secret of such expeditions, it had always
struck Barrie as deliciously, thrillingly strange that invariably she
turned the key of the stairway door upon herself the instant she was on
the other side, and religiously performed the same ceremony on letting
herself out. "Ceremony" really was the word, because the key was large,
ancient, and important-looking, and squeaked sepulchrally while it
turned. Barrie knew all this, because in spring and autumn, when Mrs.
Muir paid her visits to fairylands forlorn beyond the oak door, Barrie
lurked under cover of the convenient, thick, and well-placed shadow
behind the grandfather clock on the landing.
It was not autumn now, which was part of the mystery, after these
endless years of routine (they seemed endless to Barrie at eighteen),
and she would certainly have missed the event had this not been her
keyhole hour.
Somehow she had become aware--through heredity and race memory, no
doubt--that looking through keyholes was caddish, a trick unworthy of
any lady who was at heart a gentleman. But there are exceptions to all
keyholes, and this was one, because, as none save ghosts and fairies
lived or moved behind it in the garret, there was nobody to spy upon.
You looked through to stimulate the romance in your starved soul and
save it from death by inanition, because if romance died, then indeed
the Outer Life at Hillard House would be no longer bearable.
Barrie paid her respects to the keyhole o' mornings, for two reasons.
The first and commonplace reason was because Mrs. Muir was busy
downstairs and had no eye to spare to see whether other eyes were glued
to the wrong places. The second and more charming reason was because in
the morning the golden haze floated behind the keyhole like shimmering
water with the sun shining deep into it. By afternoon there was nothing
left to peer into but cold gray shadow, which meant that the fairies and
other inhabitants were not at home.
Mrs. Muir's motive for visiting the garret out of season was a simple
one, but it was well that Barrie did not know this, for it was not at
all interesting, and would have broken the music, thrown cold water on
the thrill. Moths, no respecters of persons or judges of high religious
reputations, had dared to nest in Mrs. MacDonald's best black cashmere
dress, which had not been worn and would not be worn, except on great
occasions, until next season, and had mechanically reduced it to the
rate of second best. Moth-powder and moth-balls were exhausted in
downstairs regions, but there was a store of both in the garret; and in
her annoyance at having to ascend at an unprecedented time, and her
vexation at an accident such as must happen in the best regulated
families, Mrs. Muir had hurriedly returned with the wanted box,
forgetting to lock the door.
Barrie could not be sure that the housekeeper was not even now in the
garret; but she had to find out: and the awful thrill of uncertainty
made her next step a high adventure, the adventure of her life. It was a
step onto the garret stairs, and though it meant dangers of all sorts,
she risked them every one, and closed the door behind her. You see, if
she had not done this, any person passing along the landing--a person
such as Grandma, or Janet Hepburn--would at once have seen the streak of
gold, a mere yellow crack to them, and then and there would have arisen
a clamour for the key.
Even with the door closed the risk remained in a lesser degree. Mrs.
Muir, if she were not at this moment in the garret, might suddenly
remember that she had left the door ajar, taking away the key; then she
would rush back like a stout round whirlwind, and in a minute more
Barrie would be a prisoner, almost like the fair bride in "The Mistletoe
Bough," only there was more air in the garret than in the oak chest that
shut with a spring. But Barrie was used to taking risks--risks
insignificant compared with this, yet big enough to supply salt and
sugar for the dry daily bread of existence.
The door shut softly, but--mercy, what creaks those steps had in them!
They seemed to be vying with each other, the heartless brutes, as to
which could shriek the loudest under a girl's light foot. Probably they
had never seen a girl before, or if they had, it was so long ago they
had forgotten. Fancy Grandma a girl! No wonder, if the steps remembered
her, that they yelled----But by this time Barrie's head had arrived at
the top of the steep stairs, and her eyes were peering cautiously
through clouds of gold dust along the level of a floor, mountainous in
its far horizon with piled chests, trunks, and furniture.
The gold poured through three very high, small dormer-windows which
until now Barrie had known only from outside, staring up at the ivied
house wall from the east garden. The dust lived in the garret air, and
was different from, more wonderful and mysterious than, any other dust,
except perhaps the dust far off in the distance at sunset, where
motor-cars you could not see passed along a road invisible.
Barrie couldn't be quite certain at first whether the garret was empty
of human life, or whether Mrs. Muir was likely to pounce upon her with
reproaches from behind one of those immense oak posts which went up like
trees to meet the high beamed roof. Or she might be concealed by an
oasis of furniture. There were several such oases in the large
wilderness of garret, which covered the whole upper story of the old
house. But a lovely garret it was, a heavenly garret! even better than
Barrie had dreamed it might be, with her eye at the keyhole of the
stairway door. It was peopled with possibilities--glorious, echoing,
beckoning possibilities--which made her heart beat as she could not
remember its beating before.
She climbed the remaining steps regardless of squeaks, because she could
not any longer bear the suspense concerning Mrs. Muir. Nothing moved in
answer to the old wood's complainings, and there was no other sound, or
rather there were no real sounds such as are made by people; but when
Barrie reached the head of the stairs the whole garret was full, to her
ears, of delicate rustlings and whisperings, sighs and footfalls and
breathings, and scurryings out of sight.
No, Mrs. Muir was not here, or by this time she would be out in the open
and scolding hard.
Barrie drew in deep breaths of the strange, still atmosphere which was
like air that had been put to sleep years and years ago. It must have
smelt exactly like this, she thought quietly, in the lost palace of La
Belle Dormante when the Prince found his way in through barricading
thickets. Barrie would hardly have been surprised if she had stumbled
upon a Sleeping Beauty. If she had, she would have said to herself, "So
that's the secret Mrs. Muir's been hiding, by keeping the door locked
up. I _told_ you so!"
The scent of the garret fascinated Barrie, and made her heart beat
heavily, as if she were on the threshold of a mystery. It was made up of
many odours: a faint, not unpleasant mustiness, the smell of dust, a
perfume of old potpourri, and spices, cloves, and camphor for moths, a
vague fragrance of rosewood and worm-eaten oak, a hint of beeswax, a
tang of unaired leather and old books.
Barrie suddenly felt perfectly happy. For to-day this wonderful place
with all its secrets was hers. She hardly knew what to explore first.
All the really interesting things in the house seemed to have risen to
the top, like cream on milk. Along a part of one wall opposite the
stairs and under the east windows whence came the morning gold were
ranged rough old bookcases, a kind of alms-house for indigent books, or
a prison for condemned volumes. But what books! Barrie was drawn to them
as by many magnets, and almost tremulously taking down one after
another, she understood the reason of their banishment. Here were all
the darling books which used to live down in the library, and had been
exiled because she dipped into them, they being (according to Grandma
and Miss Hepburn) "most unsuitable for nice-minded girls." Barrie had
mourned her friends as dead, but they had been only sleeping. And there
were others, apparently far more unsuitable for nice-minded girls--old
leather-bound books with quaint wood engravings and thick yellow pages
printed with old-fashioned "s's" like "f's." Barrie could have browsed
among this company for hours, but there were so many things to see in
the garret, so little time for seeing them, that she felt compelled
merely to say "How do you do, and good-bye," to each allurement.
Her eyes, roaming like a pair of crusading knights in search of romance,
lighted suddenly on a pile or group of furniture in a distant corner.
There was other furniture in the garret, certainly more interesting to a
connoisseur and hunter of antiquities; but Barrie was neither. She had
contrived to seize upon a good deal of queer miscellaneous knowledge
outside lesson hours, yet she did not know the difference between
Sheraton and Hepplewhite. Chairs and sideboards and settees of Georgian
days and earlier had been relegated to this vast pound of unwanted
things, while their places were dishonourably filled downstairs by
mid-Victorian monstrosities which Mrs. MacDonald instinctively approved,
no doubt because they could offer no temptation to the eye. Barrie might
have felt the beauty of the graceful lines if she had given her
attention to these scattered relics of a past before there was a
Grandma; but a group of very different furniture beckoned her curiosity.
The fact that there was a group, and that it seemed in the dimness to be
alike in colour and design, suggested mystery of some sort; and,
besides, it was almost impossible to imagine such furniture adorning
this house.
Evidently it had been taken bodily out of one room. Why? As she asked
herself this question Barrie threaded her way delicately along narrow
paths between chairs, extraordinary leather or hairy cowhide trunks and
thrilling bandboxes of enormous size, made quaintly beautiful with
Chinese wall-paper. She wanted to examine the grouped furniture whose
pale coverings and gilded wood glimmered attractively even in the
darkest corner of the garret.
It certainly was the darkest and farthest. Was this a coincidence, or
had there been a special reason for huddling these things out of sight?
There was not even a clear path to them, though there seemed to have
been method in planning most of the lanes that led from one luggage or
furniture village to another. Nothing led to this village built against
a wall. Its site was in a no-thoroughfare, and, perhaps by design,
perhaps by accident, a barricade had been erected before it; not a very
high barricade, but a wall or series of stumbling-blocks made up of
useless litter. If there could be a special corner of disgrace in this
land where all things were under decree of banishment, here was the
corner.
By means of crawling over, under, and between numerous strangely
assorted objects which formed the barricade, the intruder arrived,
somewhat the worse for wear, at her destination. The furniture village
was composed, she discovered, of a set of blue satin-covered chairs and
sofas, with elaborately carved and gilded frames. There were tables to
match, and an empty glass cabinet, two long mirrors with marble brackets
underneath, also a highly ornamental chest of drawers and a bedstead of
gilded cane and wood, with cupids holding garlands of carved roses.
Barrie began talking to herself half aloud, according to
long-established habit. "Good gracious me!" she exclaimed so inelegantly
that it was well Miss Hepburn could not hear. "What things to find in
this house! They're like--like canary birds in an ironmonger's shop. Who
could have owned them?"
Suddenly the answer flashed into her head, and sent the blood to her
face as if she had received a stinging slap such as Grandma used to
give: "These things were my mother's!"
How insulting that these traces of the vanished one should have been
hustled into a dingy hole where no self-righteous eyes could be offended
by the sight of them! How frivolous and daintily young they looked, even
in their dusty and (Barrie was furiously sure) undeserved disgrace! This
was the secret of the locked garret!
The girl occasionally had moments of hatred for Grandma: moments when
she thought it would have delighted her to see the grim old Puritan
scoffed at and humiliated, or even tortured. At the picture of torture,
however, Barrie's heart invariably failed, and in fancy she rescued the
victim. But never had she hated Mrs. MacDonald so actively as now.
"My mother!" she said again. "How dared the wicked old creature be such
a brute to her!"
For Barrie was certain that these were relics of her mother's presence
in the house. She knew the history of every other woman who had ever
lived here since the place was built in the seventeenth century by an
Alexander Hillard, an ancestor of Grandma's. A forbidding old prig he
must have been, judging from the portrait over the dining-room
mantelpiece, a worthy forbear of Ann Hillard, who had married Barrie's
grandfather, John MacDonald of Dhrum. Barrie often said to herself that
she did not feel related to Grandma. She wanted to be all MacDonald
and--whatever her mother had been. But it was just that which she did
not know, and not a soul would tell. This was her grievance, the great
and ever-burning grievance as well as mystery of her otherwise
commonplace existence; a conspiracy of silence which kept the secret
under lock and key.
Because of Mrs. MacDonald's "taboo," Barrie's mother had become her
ideal. The girl felt that whatever Grandma disapproved must be beautiful
and lovable; and there had been enough said, as well as enough left
unsaid whenever dumbness could mean condemnation, to prove that the old
woman had detested her daughter-in-law.
All Barrie knew about the immediate past of her family was that her
father's people had once been rich, and as important as their name
implied. They were the MacDonalds of Dhrum, an island not far from Skye,
but they had lost their money; and while old Mrs. MacDonald was still a
young married woman (it seemed incredible that she could have been
young!) she and her husband, with their one boy, had come to her old
home near Carlisle. This one boy had grown up to marry--Somebody, or,
according to the standards of Grandma, Nobody, a creature beyond the
pale. The bride must have died soon, for even Barrie's elastic memory,
which could recall first steps taken alone and first words spoken
unprompted, had no niche in it for a mother's image, though father's
portrait was almost painfully distinct. It presented a young man very
tall, very thin, very sad, very dark. The frame for this portrait was
the black oak of the library wainscoting, picked out with the faded gold
on backs of books in a uniform binding of brown leather. Once a day
Barrie had been escorted by her nurse to the door of the library and
left to the tender mercies of this sad young man, who raised his eyes
resignedly from reading or writing to emit a "How do you do?" as if she
were a grown-up stranger. After this question and a suitable reply, not
much conversation followed, for neither could think of anything to say.
After an interval of strained politeness, the child was dismissed to
play or lessons--generally lessons, even from the first, for play had
never been considered of importance in Hillard House. It was nobler, in
the estimation of Grandma, and perhaps of father, to learn how to spell
"the fat cat sat on the black rug," rather than to sprawl personally on
the black rug, sporting in company with the fat cat.
One day, Barrie remembered, she had been told that father was ill and
she could not bid him good morning. She had been treacherously glad, for
father was depressing; but when days passed and she was still kept from
him, it occurred to her that after all father was much, much nicer than
Grandma, and that his eyes, though sad, were kind. The next and last
time she ever saw him, the kind sad eyes were shut, and he was lying in
a queer bed, like a box. He was white as a doll made of porcelain which
he had once given her, and Grandma, who led the child into his room,
said that he was dead. The sleeping figure in the box was only the body,
and the soul had gone to heaven. Heaven, according to Grandma, who wore
black and had red rims round her eyes, was a place high up above the sky
where if you were a sheep you played constantly on a harp and sang
songs. If you were a goat, you did not get there at all, which might
have been preferable, except for the fact that being a goat doomed you
to burn in everlasting fire. Sheep were saved, goats were damned; and,
of course, the sheep must be deserving and clever if they had learned to
sing and play on harps.
Barrie thought she could have been no more than three when her father
died, but she never cared to question Grandma concerning the episode,
after a day when Mrs. MacDonald said in an icy voice, "Your mother was
before God guilty of your father's death." That was years ago now, but
Barrie had not forgotten the shock, or the hateful, thwarted feeling,
almost like suffocation, when Grandma had answered an outbreak of hers
with the words, "The less you know about your mother the better for you.
And the less like her you grow up, the more chance you will have of
escaping punishment in this world and the next."
Barrie believed that her mother's hair must have been red, for once she
had heard nurse say to Mrs. Muir, "No wonder the sight of the child's a
daily eyesore to the mistress; what with them identical dimples, and
hair of the selfsame shade, it must be a living reminder of what we'd
all be glad to forget." Barrie's hair was extremely red; and it had been
intimated to her that no red-haired girl could have cause for vanity,
because to such unfortunates beauty was denied; but loyalty to the
unknown mother forbade the child to hate her copper-coloured locks.
In a room decorated with pale blue satin, red hair might perhaps
simulate gold. The furniture was quite new-looking and unless there had
been some special reason, no mere change of taste would have induced
economical Grandma to make a clean sweep of these practically unused
things.
A tall mirror with its wooden back turned outward helped to screen the
furniture; and deep under the dusty surface of the glass Barrie saw her
own figure dimly reflected, like a form moving stealthily in water
beneath thin ice. It half frightened her, like seeing a spirit, and she
brought the gliding ghost to life by polishing the glass. This gave her
back suddenly the only friend she had, herself, and she was glad of the
companionship. Close to the huddled furniture stood a large trunk, a
Noah's Ark of a trunk. Perhaps it was old-fashioned, but compared to
other luggage stored here in the garret it was new and defiantly smart.
It had a rounded top, and was made of gray painted wood clamped with
iron.
Too good to be true that it should not be locked! And yes, locked it
was, of course. But tied to the iron handle on one end was a key. It
seemed as if some one had thought that the trunk might be sent for, and
therefore the key must be kept handy. The knot was easily undone. The
key fitted the lock. Her heart beating fast, Barrie lifted the lid, and
up to her nostrils floated a faint fragrance. She had never smelled any
perfume quite like it before. The nearest thing was the scent of a
certain rose in the garden when its petals were dried, as she dried them
sometimes for a bowl in her own room.
It was deep twilight in this corner, but Barrie's eyes were accustoming
themselves to the gloom. In the tray of the big trunk there were hats,
and masses of something fluffy and soft, yet crisp like gauze. "My
mother's things!" she said to herself in a very little voice, with a
catch of the breath at the word "mother." And gently she lifted out the
tray, to carry it nearer the light. There was a cartwheel of a Leghorn
hat in it, wreathed with cornflowers; another hat of white tulle trimmed
with a single waterlily, and a queer little bonnet made of
forget-me-nots. The fluffy stuff was a large blue scarf spangled with
pinkish sequins.
Barrie rested the tray on a marble-topped table, and dipped deep into
the trunk for other treasures. There were several dresses, of delicate
materials and pale shades, or else of daring colours elaborately
trimmed. There was a gown of coral-tinted satin embroidered with gold,
and this was of Empire fashion, so like the styles which Barrie saw in
illustrated papers that it might have been made yesterday. Could a
red-haired woman have chosen to wear such a colour? For a moment the
girl doubted that these had been her mother's possessions; but when she
held the folds of satin under her own chin, she was startled by the
picture in the mirror. Why, coral was far more becoming than blue, which
Miss Hepburn always said was the only colour to go with red hair. It
even occurred to Barrie that she might perhaps be--well, almost pretty.
"What if I _am_ pretty, after all?" she asked herself; for she
worshipped beauty, and it had been sad to feel that to her it was denied
forever--that never could she be like one of those lovely beings in
books with whom men fall desperately in love, and for whom they gladly
die.
In great excitement she took off her short, badly made blue serge, and
put on the coral satin, which was low in the neck, and had tiny puffed
sleeves. The dress fastened at the back, but Barrie had grown clever in
"doing up" her own frocks without help, and she easily managed the few
hooks and eyes. The satin was creased, but in the dim light it looked
fresh and beautiful as the petals of some gorgeous flower, and the long,
straight-hanging gown with magic suddenness turned the childlike girl
into a young woman. The two massive tails of hair, which fell over
Barrie's shoulders, ending in thick curls at her waist, now offended her
sense of fitness. They were not "grown up" enough to suit the wearer of
this fairy robe; and crossing the braids at the back of her head, she
brought them round it over her ears, tying the two curls together in a
sort of bow at the top.
"I'm like Cinderella dressed for the ball," she thought, "all except the
glass slippers," and she glanced down distastefully at the thick,
serviceable boots whose toes pointed out from under a line of gold
embroidery.
There must once have been shoes to match this dress. Perhaps they were
at the bottom of the big trunk, whose depths she had not yet reached.
Bending down for another search, she caught sight of something in the
background which she had not seen--a large picture with its face against
the wall.
Instantly Barrie forgot the shoes. Her heart jumped as it had jumped
when she first saw the key in the door of the garret stairs. Would they
have turned to the wall in this dark corner any picture save one? The
girl knew that in another moment she would be looking at the portrait of
her mother.
To get at it, she had to shut the trunk and climb on the rounded lid,
for the big wooden Noah's Ark was too heavy to lift, and too firmly
wedged in among large pieces of furniture to be pushed out of the way.
Kneeling on the trunk, regardless of her finery, Barrie grasped the
picture frame with both hands and pulled it up from its narrow
hiding-place. Then, scrambling down, she backed out into a space clear
enough to permit of turning the picture, round. Then she could not help
giving a little cry, for it seemed that she was beholding a miracle. Her
own face, her own figure, the very dress she wore, and the odd way she
had looped up her red braids, were repeated on the dusty canvas.
It seemed too wonderful to be true, yet it was true that she had chosen
to put on the gown in which its owner had long ago stood for her
portrait. And the knotted curls just above the picture-forehead were
like little ruddy leaping flames.
Just at first glance Barrie thought that she was exactly like the
picture; but when she had wiped the dust off the canvas, and saw the
painting clearly, she began to realize and count the differences. The
portrait was that of a young woman, not a girl still almost a child.
Knowledge and love of the world glittered in the great dark eyes which
turned up ever so slightly at their outer corners in a curiously
bewitching way. Barrie's eyes were dark too, but they were hazel, and
could look gray or even greenish yellow in a bright light; but the eyes
in the picture were almost black, and full of a triumphing consciousness
of their own fascination. The artist had hinted at dimples, and these
Barrie's cheeks repeated; but the girl's face was in shape a delicate
oval, though the chin was as firm as if a loving thumb and finger had
pinched it into prominence. The face on the canvas was fuller, shorter,
squarer, and its chin was cleft in the middle. The mouth was smaller and
more pouting--a self-conscious, petulant mouth; but Barrie thought it
beautiful, with its flowerlike, half-smiling red lips.
"Mother--mother!" she said, "darling, lovely mother! Oh, if you could
only talk to me! If you could only tell me all about yourself!"
As she spoke aloud something moved in the garret: a board creaked, a
struck chair or table scraped along the uneven floor, and Mrs. Muir
appeared round a corner of the piled furniture. Barrie stiffened
herself, standing up straight and tall and defiant, ready for battle,
holding the portrait as if it were a shield. But she was not prepared to
see Mrs. Muir start back, stumbling against something which fell with a
sharp crash, nor to hear her give vent to a squeal of terror. It was
anger the girl had expected to rouse, not fear, and she faced the old
housekeeper from her distance in blank astonishment.
They stood staring at each other across the shadows lit by floating
motes of gold; and Mrs. Muir's large, pallid face looked, Barrie
thought, as if it had been turned to gray stone, the gray stone of the
carved monuments in the family burial-ground. For a moment neither
spoke, but at last some words seemed to drop from the old woman's mouth,
rather than be deliberately uttered:
"May God have mercy on me!"
"What _is_ the matter?" Barrie exclaimed, the strange spell broken; but
instead of answering, Mrs. Muir gasped, and then broke out crying, a
queer gurgly sort of crying which frightened the girl. She did not
dislike the housekeeper, and she was so genuinely distressed as well as
surprised at this strange exhibition, that she would have set down the
portrait to run to Mrs. Muir's succour if at that moment the stillness
of the garret had not been wakened by the tap, tap of a stick. Somebody
was coming up the stairs, hobbling, limping, yet hurrying with
extraordinary energy.
There was only one person in the house, or maybe in the world, whose
coming made that noise, that mingled hobble, rush, and tap: Grandma.
Barrie and Mrs. Muir continued to stare at one another, but their
expression had changed. The approach of a danger to be shared in common
had made the enemies friends. "This is going to be awful. What shall we
do?" the old eyes said to the young and the young eyes said to the old.
Mrs. Muir had forgotten her burning wish and intention to scold Miss
Barribel; nevertheless, the housekeeper was not to be trusted as an
ally. Under the lash of Mrs. MacDonald's tongue she would defend
herself, and Barrie would go to the wall. But the spirit of the martyr
was in the girl, and when the first dread thrill of the tap, tap on the
garret stairs had subsided in her nerves, she remembered her wrongs and
her mother's wrongs, and was not afraid of Grandma. She girded herself
for war.
The tapping came nearer. Mrs. MacDonald was grievously crippled with
rheumatism. Only a strong incentive could have urged her up the steep
straight stairway, with its high steps; but Grandma was indomitable.
Lurching like a ship in a heavy sea, she swept round the corner and
brought herself to anchor by planting her stick with a crash on the wavy
oak floor. There she stood, the grim and hard old craft that had
weathered a hundred storms and refused to be dismayed by any. She must
have been alarmed by the housekeeper's scream and the crash of falling
furniture, and the figure in the coral satin dress was at least as
startling for her as for her old servant; but she gave no cry, and her
face looked as it always looked, hard, and stern, and passionless, as
her gray eyes travelled from granddaughter to housekeeper, from
housekeeper to granddaughter.
"What is the meaning of this?" she inquired in her worst voice, which
Barrie always thought like the turning of a key in an unoiled lock.
"This, ma'am?" quavered Mrs. Muir, unused to the pangs of guilty fear,
and bitterly ashamed of them. "Why, I'd been up here getting some more
moth-balls out of the chemist's store-box, and while I was gone Miss
Barribel----"
"You must have left the stairway door unlocked, woman."
"For the first time in my life, ma'am, I did." The answer was an appeal
for justice if not mercy. It was an awful thing to be called "woman" by
the mistress, and to be impaled on that sharp gray gaze never sheathed
behind spectacles. Mrs. Muir was not one to quail easily, but she had
been at fault, and she realized how her small sin of omission was
leading up to consequences more momentous than anything which had
happened in this house for seventeen years. In a flash she remembered,
too, that it was just seventeen years ago this month of August since the
first wearer of the coral satin had gone forever.
"That is no excuse," said Mrs. MacDonald. "There are some things it is a
sin to forget. Locking the garret door is one, you well know why. Now
the mischief is done."
"Who'd ha' dreamed, ma'am, that Miss Barribel would ha' bin on the watch
like a cat for a mouse----"
"It's no question of dreaming, but experience. You ought to know as well
as I do that unfortunately the girl is always on the watch for anything
she ought not to see or do. It is in her blood. These many years I have
struggled to crush down inherited tendencies, and keep her on the
straight path I would have her father's daughter tread. Yet how have I
succeeded? Every day shows how little. This is only one instance among
many."
The pale cold eyes, having chilled Mrs. Muir's blood, turned to do their
work of icing Barrie into subjection; but the girl's veins ran fire. For
once, Grandma was powerless to make her feel a frozen worm.
"I wish I'd known before that my mother's things were here," she said,
in a clear, loud voice. "I'd have broken down the door to get to them.
They're mine--all mine. I will have them."
"You will not," Mrs. MacDonald answered. "Set that portrait back where
you found it with its face to the wall. Take off that immodest,
outrageous dress, and put on your own decent one. Fold up the scarlet
abomination and lay it in the trunk with the rest of the brood."
Somehow that word "brood" in connection with her lost mother's gay,
pretty garments made Barrie see her grandmother through a red haze.
"It's the things you say, not mother's lovely clothes, that are exactly
like a brood of horrid, ugly imps!" she cried. "Always you've kept
everything about her a secret from me, but you can't go on doing it now.
I've seen her beautiful picture. I know it's hers without any telling.
Nothing can make me believe it isn't, no matter what you say, either of
you. So you may as well tell me all about her. I won't move till you
do."
"So be it, then," said Mrs. MacDonald in an iron voice. "The time had to
come some day. Let it be to-day, though for your father's sake I would
have spared you the knowledge until you reached your twenty-first year.
Do not flatter yourself that your threat 'not to move' has the smallest
effect on me. It has none. If I chose, I could force you to obey me this
instant, and put those reminders of sin out of my sight. But if you have
any sense of shame in you, any affection for your father's memory, it
will be the severest punishment I can inflict to tell you the truth
while you are wearing that dress and looking at the face of that
portrait."
Despite her inward flame of fury, which did not wane, the girl was
struck into silence by her grandmother's tone and manner. She stood very
still and white in the coral satin.
"You can go now, Muir," said Mrs. MacDonald. "What is to come must be
between me and my son's child."
Without a word the housekeeper turned and went away. Perhaps she was
glad to escape. And now that her own scolding was over, there was
sympathy in the last look she threw the girl.
There was a certain vague and very dim sense of gratitude in Barrie's
heart toward Mrs. MacDonald for what she had just done. For Barrie did
not want other ears to hear evil words spoken of her mother, and she was
sure that they would be spoken.
Not until the stairs had ceased to creak under the departing feet did
Grandma again open her lips. She had seemed to be thinking intently, as
if making up her mind how to begin. Perhaps she was praying for
guidance, Barrie told herself; but the morning and evening prayers in
the dining-room with a few servants assembled were like harangues or
didactic instructions to Heaven rather than supplications. Barrie
thought that her grandmother had created a God for herself in her own
image, and considered that she had a right, therefore, to tell Him what
to do. Why should an all-good, all-wise God create a disagreeable,
unkind person like Grandma? It didn't stand to reason. And Miss Hepburn
was of opinion that God was indeed beneficent, in spite of those eternal
fires in which she, almost equally with Grandma, fervently believed.
When there was no further sound of the housekeeper, Mrs. MacDonald began
to speak, slowly and very deliberately.
"My son married against my will. His father was dead, and a woman's
authority was not enough, for he was stubborn, though a good son until
_she_ got hold of him with her witcheries and her false charms. He met
her in London, and took her out of the theatre, where he had no business
to go; and if he never had gone, all our troubles would have been saved.
The woman was a play-actress--a light, frivolous creature with no more
sense of moral responsibility than a butterfly."
"Butterflies are beautiful!" Barrie broke in. "God made them, I suppose,
just as much as He made ants, and I'm sure He loves them heaps better."
She thought of her grandmother as a big black ant, hoarding disagreeable
crumbs in a gloomy hole.
Mrs. MacDonald went on as if she had not heard.
"The woman married my son because he had money, and when she had spent
all she could lay her hands on--spent it on dresses and hats and every
kind of sinful vanity--she left him and his home, left her baby a year
old, to return to the theatre, I suppose. I thank God that I still had
influence with Robert my son to keep him from running after her like a
love-sick fool, and trying to bring her back to the decent home she had
disgraced. But his heart was broken by her wicked folly. Two years
they'd had together under this roof and the disappointments she had made
the boy suffer undermined his health. Two years more he was spared to
me, and then he was taken. Never once did your mother write to him or to
me, not so much as to ask whether her husband and child were alive or
dead. While Robert lived, her things remained in her room just as she
had left them the night she stole away like a thief, carrying only a
handbag. There was the furniture the poor bewitched man had bought
because he thought nothing in his mother's house was fit for his
wonderful bride. There were her clothes--the very dress you have on,
made on purpose to show off her brazen looks in a portrait she induced
my son to order from a painting man. There was everything, except her
jewels, which she was careful to take--jewels more fit for an empress of
a heathen nation than a self-respecting Englishwoman: and that is where
the root of the mischief lay. She wasn't English. I warned my son in the
beginning when he wrote of his infatuation. I said, 'It is bad enough
that she should be a play-actress; but the daughter of an _Irish father_
and an _American mother_, that is _fatal_!' He would not listen, and he
was punished for his obstinacy. You were no comfort to him, for, as I
pointed out many a time, you were bound to grow up the living image of
the woman who had betrayed us. I told him if he lived he'd have it all
to go over again in you--maybe worse, if that could be possible, for the
sins of the fathers are visited upon the children even to the third and
fourth----"
"But I thought it was my mother I was like," Barrie flung at her.
"Figuratively speaking, it is the same thing, as you well understand,
unless you are a fool. Your father was not strong enough to bear the
burden which his own mistakes had bound on his shoulders. He left the
responsibility of bringing up that woman's daughter to me, and under
Heaven I have done my best. I have kept you away from vanities, hoping
that in spite of all you might remain unspotted from the world. But
blood will tell. To-day I find that, as your mother before you stole
like a thief out of the house, so you have stolen into this place, which
was forbidden you, to gratify your curiosity and your vanity. I find you
as bold as brass parading in that low-necked red dress, which I told
your mother was a shame to any woman when I saw her flaunting in it. Now
you know what she was, and what you are and are like to be. I tell you
again, take off that gown as you would tear off a poisoned toad from
your flesh; then go down to your own room and spend the rest of the day
in prayer and meditation."
It was a triumph for Grandma that Barrie did not throw at her an
insolent answer. For a moment the girl did not reply at all. Then she
said, in a singularly quiet way, that she would take off the dress and
put it back in the trunk, but not unless her grandmother would leave her
alone to do it. Afterward, she would ask nothing better than to go to
her own room and stay there. "I _want_ to think," she added; "I have a
lot to think about. But I shall think only good things of my mother.
What you have told me has made me very, very happy. I believed that my
mother was dead. Now I know she's in the same world with me, I could
almost die of joy."
"It is like her daughter to feel that," Mrs. MacDonald returned
bitterly. "If you are not downstairs in ten minutes, I will have the
door locked and keep you in the garret without food or drink or light
for twenty-four hours."
"I should _love_ that!" exclaimed Barrie suddenly, in the manner of her
old self. Nevertheless, she descended and advertised her return to the
prosaic world by closing the door loudly in less than ten minutes after
Mrs. MacDonald had gone.
She walked straight into her own room and bolted herself in. If Grandma
had seen her then, she could not have helped admitting that there was as
much of Robert MacDonald in the lines of the girl's face as of the
guileful Barbara Ballantree.
II
No notice was taken of Barrie until half-past eight o'clock that
night--half-past eight being considered night in Mrs. MacDonald's
house-hold. At that time, just as the hour was announced by an old
friend, the grandfather clock on the landing, who had seen the girl go
into the garret, Miss Janet Hepburn knocked at Barrie's door.
"Barribel," she called, as always pronouncing the fanciful name with a
certain reluctance, partly on principle, partly because it was known to
have been chosen by "that woman." "Barribel, by your grandmother's
permission, I've brought you some supper. Open your door and take in the
tray."
A voice answered from behind the panel, "I'll open the door if you will
bring in the tray yourself."
Miss Hepburn hesitated for a moment. In the dun gaslight of the corridor
her sharp profile looked eager as the face of a hungry bird. She thought
quickly. Mrs. MacDonald had not yet finished her own supper. No such
frivolity as evening dinner was known at Hillard House. Soup after dark
except for an invalid would have been considered a pitfall; but the old
lady liked to linger alone over the last meal of the day, reading a
religious volume by the light of a lamp placed on the table at the left
of her plate. When Miss Hepburn and Barrie finished they always, as a
matter of form, asked to be excused, though they both knew, and Mrs.
MacDonald knew that they knew, how more than willing she was to be left
alone with her book. At a quarter past nine the servants were called,
they having already supped on bread and cheese. A chapter, preferably
from the Old Testament, was read, a prayer offered up, and at
nine-thirty precisely the family was ready to go to bed. Miss Hepburn
had reason to believe that for three quarters of an hour she was free to
do as she wished, and she wished as ardently as she was able to wish
anything, to see Barrie. She had heard next to nothing of the day's
events from Mrs. MacDonald, whose companion she was supposed to be now
that the girl no longer needed her whole morning's services as
governess. And from Mrs. Muir, into whose room she had slipped at
tea-time, very little had been dragged out. Yet it was certain that
something tremendous had happened. If she wanted to know what, her one
hope lay with Barrie.
"Very well," she said, with the proper mingling of kindness and dignity,
"I will bring in the tray."
The door immediately opened, and closed again after the flat figure of
Miss Hepburn. Barrie thought that if the good Janet had been born a fish
she would have been a skate, or at roundest a sole. Even her profile was
flat, as if the two sides of her face had been pressed firmly together
by a strong pair of hands. She wore her hair very flat on her head,
which was flat behind; and just at the nape of the neck was a flat
drab-tinted knot, of almost the same grayish-yellowish brown as her
complexion. On her flat breast was a flat brooch with a braid of pale
hair as a background. Even her voice sounded flat in its effort at
meekness and self-repression, calculated to appease Mrs. MacDonald in
trying circumstances. Miss Hepburn looked about forty-five; but she had
always looked forty-five for the last twelve years, and Barrie could
hardly have believed that she had ever been younger.
"Your grandmother thinks that you have now been sufficiently punished,"
she announced, "and you are to come down as usual to prayers."
"Oh, am I?" echoed Barrie. "We'll see about that. As for punishment, if
it pleases Grandma to think she's punished me, she may. I don't care.
She couldn't have made me come out of my room to-day if she tried. But I
don't bear _you_ any grudge, Heppie. I'm very glad to see you. I want
you to tell me things."
"What things?" inquired Miss Hepburn. "I didn't come to talk. I am here
simply to see you begin your supper. You must be--er--very hungry."
"I've had plenty of food all day," said Barrie--"food for thought." She
cleared a place on the one table by pushing a few school-books out of
the way. She had been sitting in the twilight, for she was not allowed
to have matches. Their possession might have tempted her to burn gas
after ten o'clock, when at latest all lights had to be out. Now, Janet
Hepburn brought a box of matches on the tray; and the gas, when lit,
showed the sparsely furnished room with its gray-painted, pictureless
wall, against which Barrie's red hair glowed like a flame. Outside the
open window the old ivy and the young peeping roses, which had been
green and pink and gold in the twilight, lost their colour as the gas
flared up, and evening out of doors darkened into night.
"I've brought you bread and cheese with a slice of cold beef," announced
Miss Hepburn, "and Mrs. Muir has baked you a potato, but I am not sure
whether your grandmother would approve of that. She distinctly said a
cold supper."
"Will you please thank Mrs. Muir for me?" Barrie asked.
"You can thank her to-morrow."
"I mayn't have a chance. Do thank her for me to-night. Say I wanted you
to."
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"Oh--just _because_. Will you?"
"Yes, I will try, after prayers, when she is shutting up the house. Now,
eat your supper."
"I don't want to, yet. Please, Heppie, dear Heppie, tell me what you
know about my mother. You weren't here when she was, but you're a kind
of cousin of Grandma's, and you must have heard all about her."
"If I had, that would not give me the right to tell you," replied Miss
Hepburn, clinging desperately to her stiff dignity, despite the pleading
voice and the "dear, dear Heppie," against which, being one third human,
she was not quite proof. It was always difficult not to be beguiled by
Barrie.
"I've only you I _can_ come to," said the girl. "You're the one person
in the house except me who isn't old and dried-up."
This was a stroke of genius, but the genius of instinct, for Barrie had
no experience in the art of cajolery. "Was I named after my mother?"
"Only partly. She was a Miss Ballantree, and her first name was Barbara,
I believe; but she disliked it, and when her husband wished to have the
child christened the same, she insisted on Barribel. It seems that is an
old Scottish name also, or Celtic perhaps, for she was Irish, though I
know nothing of her family. But Barribel has always sounded frivolous to
me."
"Yet you would never call me Barrie when I begged you to. I wonder if
there ever was another girl who had to make up her own pet name, and
then had nobody who would use it except herself? When I talk to myself I
always say 'Barrie,' in different tones of voice, to hear how it sounds.
I try to say it as if I loved myself, because no one else loves
me--unless maybe you do; just a tiny, tiny bit. Do you, Heppie?"
"Of course I have an affection for you," Miss Hepburn returned
decorously, half alarmed at so pronounced a betrayal of her inner
emotions, "and naturally your grandmother----"
"Let's not talk about her now," Barrie pleaded. "Was my mother young
when she was married?"
"Quite young, I understand--about nineteen."
"Only nineteen--not very much older than I am. And she stood two years
of Grandma and this house!"
"Barribel, you forget yourself."
"If I do, it's because I'm thinking about my mother. Twenty--twenty-one;
that's what she was when she--went away!"
"She must have been. Of course, it is not my place to----"
"No, dear Heppie, I know it isn't, so don't, please. Could even you
blame her for wanting to run away from this awful house, and she an
Irish girl?"
"She was half American, I have heard."
"Perhaps, for all I know about Americans, that made it even harder for
her to stand Grandma--and everything else. Anyhow, _I_ don't blame
her--not one bit."
"What! not for deserting her loving husband and her helpless child?"
"All day I've been wondering if father knew how to show his love for
her. He didn't to me. I can remember that. I used to be afraid of him
and glad to escape. Perhaps he made _her_ feel like that too--oh,
without meaning it. I'm sure he was good. But so is Grandma
good--horribly good. There's something about this house that spoils
goodness, and turns it to a kind of poison. It must have been awfully
depressing to be married to father if one had any _fun_ in one, and
loved to laugh. As for the 'helpless child,' I dare say I was a horrid
little squalling brat with scarlet hair and a crimson face and a vile
temper, that no one could possibly love."
"It is a mother's duty to love her child, in spite of its appearance;
and if it has a bad temper, all the more should she endeavour by prayer
and example to eradicate its faults in bringing it up. At least, so I
have always been taught. Personally, of course," Heppie hastened to add,
"I know nothing of motherhood and its duties."
"Then you never played dolls," said Barrie gravely. "I never had but one
doll--the porcelain-headed darling father gave me. Grandma let me keep
it because it came from him, and I did love it dearly! I do still. I
learned just how to be a mother, playing with it. I know I shall be a
perfectly sweet mother when I have a child."
"Barribel, you should not say such things. It is most unmaidenly."
"I don't see why," Barrie argued. "Perhaps my mother's people wouldn't
let her say such things when she was a young girl, and then she began to
be an actress, and was so busy she never had time to learn much about
children and duty and that sort of thing. But I won't be unmaidenly any
more, dear Heppie--at least, if I can help it--if you'll only do me one
great favour."
"What is it?" Miss Hepburn inquired cautiously.
"Tell me what's become of my mother. Oh, you needn't be afraid! Grandma
let it out that she's alive. She's not even old yet--not so _very_ old.
You must tell me what's happened to her."
"Nothing creditable, I fear," replied Janet, finding a certain sad
pleasure in the sins of another, so different from her own good self.
"She has, I believe, continued to act on the stage."
"I'm sure she must be the greatest success!" exclaimed Barrie.
"As to that, I have no means of knowing. I always skip news of the
theatre in reading the papers aloud to Mrs. MacDonald."
"Oh, just to _think_ that any day I might have seen things about my
mother in the newspapers, and perhaps even her pictures! I wish I'd
known! I'd have got at the papers somehow before they were cremated. Now
I understand why Grandma tries to keep them out of my hands."
"There were many reasons for that," said Miss Hepburn, loyal to her
employer's convictions and her own pallid copies of those convictions.
"No really _nice_ girl ever reads the newspapers, or would wish to do
so. They are full of wickedness. There is much I have to miss out."
"Do you think my mother has kept her married name for the stage?" Barrie
wanted to know.
"That," answered Miss Hepburn almost eagerly, "has been poor Mrs.
MacDonald's greatest trial--except your father's death. To think that
the name of her son--the name of his great ancestors--should be bandied
about in the theatres!"
"Then she does call herself MacDonald!"
"I fear that is the case. But now it will be useless asking me any more
questions, for I shall not answer them. Will you let me see you begin
your supper?"
"No, dear Heppie, for I'm not hungry; and I want to think. Thank you so
much for talking to me, and being so kind. I believe you'd often like to
be kind when you daren't."
Miss Hepburn looked slightly surprised. She had expected to be teased
for further information, rather than thanked cordially for that already
doled out. "I try to do my duty both to your grandmother and you," she
returned. "I really must go now, and I shall not have to lock your door
again, as Mrs. MacDonald considers the punishment over. You must be
careful to come down the minute you hear the bell, and not be late for
prayers."
"Good-bye, if you must go," said Barrie, following the small, stiff
figure to the door. "I--I wish you'd kiss me, Heppie."
Janet actually started, and a blush produced itself in a way peculiar to
her face, appearing mostly upon the nose, where it lingered rosily at
the end. Kisses were not exchanged under Mrs. MacDonald's roof. Barrie's
was a most disquieting suggestion, and sounded as if she had a
presentiment that she was about to die or, at the best, be very ill.
Still, there was no real impropriety in an ex-governess kissing her late
pupil; and possibly the desire revealed a spirit of repentance and
meekness on the part of Barribel, which deserved to be encouraged.
Without spoken questions, therefore, Miss Hepburn pecked with her
unkissed virgin lips the firm pink satin of Barrie's cheek. The deed
seemed curiously epoch-making, and stirred her oddly. She was ashamed of
the feeling she had, rather like a bird waking up from sleep and
fluttering its wings in her breast. Her nose burned; and she hastened
her departure lest Barribel should notice some undignified difference in
manner or expression.
"I shall see you again downstairs in a few minutes," she said hurriedly.
Barrie did not answer, and Miss Hepburn softly shut the door.
Instantly the girl began making a sandwich of the bread and cheese,
which she wrapped up in a clean handkerchief. She would not take the
napkin, because that belonged to Grandma. Hanging up in the wardrobe was
a long cloak of the MacDonald hunting tartan, which looked as if it had
been fashioned out of a man's plaid. On each side was a pocket; and into
one of these Barrie slipped her little package. Already made up and
lying on the floor of the wardrobe was another parcel, very much bigger,
rolled in dark green baize which might have been a small table cover.
From a shelf Barrie snatched a tam-o'-shanter, also a dark green in
colour. Absent-mindedly she pulled it over her head, and the green
brightened the copper red of her hair. Slipping her arms into the
sleeves of the queer cloak, she caught up her bundle, turned down the
gas, and peeped cautiously out into the corridor. No one was there. The
house was very still. Grandma's bell for reading and prayer would not
ring yet for twenty minutes or more. The girl tiptoed out, locked the
door behind her, and slipped the key into the pocket with the
sandwiches. If any one came to call her to prayers, it would appear that
she had shut herself in and was refusing to answer.
III
"Car-l-i-s-l-e!" The Caruso voice of a gifted railway porter intoned the
word in two swelling syllables, so alluring in their suggestion to
passengers that it was strange the whole train did not empty itself upon
the platform. So far from this being the case, however, not more than
six men and half as many women, one with two sleepy, whimpering
children, obeyed the siren call.
Five of the men looked for porters, and eventually culled them, like
stiff-stemmed wayside plants; but the sixth man had not set his foot on
the platform before he was accosted by two would-be helpers.
What there was about him so different from, and so superior to, his
fellow-travellers that it was visible to the naked eye at night, in a
not too brilliantly lighted railway station, could be explained only by
experts in the art of deciding at a glance where the best financial
results are to be obtained.
The man was not richly dressed, was not decked out with watch-chains and
scarf-pins and rings, nor had he a shape to hint that the possession of
millions had led to self-indulgence. Many people would have passed him
by with a glance, thinking him exactly like other men of decent birth
and life who knew how to wear their clothes; but railway porters and
romantic women (are there other women?) have a special instinct about
men. The two female passengers unhampered by howling babies looked at
him as they went by, and they would instinctively have known, though
even they could not have explained, why the porters unhesitatingly
selected this man as prey.
He was not very tall, and not very handsome, and he was not conspicuous
in any way: but if he had been an actor, a deaf and blind audience would
somehow have felt with a thrill that he had come upon the stage. The
secret was not intricate: only something of which people talk a dozen
times a day without knowing technically what they mean--personal
magnetism. He was rather dark and rather thin, rather like a conquering
soldier in his simple yet authoritative way of giving orders for what he
wanted done. He had eyes which were of an almost startling blueness in
his sunburned face: a peculiarity that made strangers look twice at him
sometimes. If his features hardened into a certain cynical grimness when
he thought about things that really mattered, his smile for things that
didn't matter was singularly pleasant.
He did not smile at the porters as he pointed out that, besides his
suit-case, he had only one small piece of luggage in the van, to be
taken to his automobile; and there were other passengers who looked much
jollier and more amenable than he: yet it was to him that a girl spoke
as he was about to walk past her, after his chosen porter.
"Oh! Will you please be so very kind as to wait a minute!" she
exclaimed.
Her "Oh!" was like a barrier suddenly thrown down in front of him. Of
course he stopped; and if he were not greatly astonished it was only
because so many odd things had happened to him in life, in railway
stations and drawing rooms and in all sorts of other places, that it
took a great deal to make him feel surprise, and still more to make him
show it.
He was roused to alertness, however, when he saw what manner of girl
invited him to "wait a minute." He had never seen one like her before.
And yet, of whose face did hers piquantly remind him? He had a dim
impression that it was quite a celebrated face, and no wonder, if it
were like this one. The only odd thing was that he could not remember
whose the first face had been, for such features could never let
themselves be wiped off memory's slate.
The girl was almost a child, apparently, for her hair hung in two long
bright red braids over her extraordinary cloak; and her big eyes were
child's eyes. What her figure was like, except that she was a tall,
long-legged, upstanding young creature, no one could judge, not even an
anatomist, because of that weird wrap. As a cloak it was a shocking
production--a hideous, unbelievable contribution to cloakhood from the
hands of a mantle-making vandal--but it caught the man's interest,
because before his eyes danced the hunting tartan of the MacDonalds of
Dhrum. Once that particular combination of green, blue, red, brown,
purple, and white had flashed to his heart a signal of warm human love,
daring and high romance; but he believed that long ago his heart had
shut against such deceiving signals. Across the way in, he had printed
in big letters "NO THOROUGHFARE," and was unconsciously well pleased
with himself because he had done this, thinking it a proof of mature
wisdom, keen insight into his brother man--especially perhaps his sister
woman--and a general tendency toward scientific, bomb-proof modernity,
the triumph of intellect over emotion. And in truth his experiences had
been of a kind to change the enthusiastic boy he once had been into the
cynical, hard-headed man he was now. Nevertheless, as he looked at the
girl in the tartan cloak, he heard within himself the war-cry of the
clan MacDonald, "Fraoch Eilean!" and he smelt the heather of the purple
isle of Dhrum.
It was many years since he had seen that strangely formed island-shape
cut in amethyst against the gold of sunset sky and sea; but the purple
and the gold were unforgettable, even for one who thought he had
forgotten and lost the magic long ago.
She was a beautiful girl in spite of the ugly tam and the bag of a
cloak. Her eyes had the deep light of clear streams that have never
reflected other things than trees, shadowing banks of wild flowers, and
skies arching above. There was something quaintly arresting about her,
apart from the odd clothes.
The man stopped. His porter lumbered on sturdily; but that was just as
well. The girl had asked him to wait: so he waited in silence to hear
what she would say.
"Will you please look at a thing I want very much to sell?" she began.
"Perhaps you'll like to buy it. Nobody else will--but," she added
hastily, "I think you'll admire it."
He looked her steadily in the eyes for a few seconds, and she returned
the look, in spite of herself rather than because she was determined to
give him gaze for gaze.
"Why do you ask me to buy what you have to sell?" he answered by a
question. "Is it for charity or the cause of the Suffragettes?"
"Oh, no, it's not for charity!" the girl exclaimed. "And I don't know
what you mean by Suffragettes."
The man laughed. "Where have you lived?" he questioned her.
She blushed for an ignorance which evidently struck strangers as
fantastic. "Near Carlisle with my grandmother," she explained; "but
she's never let me have friends, or make visits, or read the papers.
I've just left her house now, and I want to go to London. I _must_ go to
London, but I haven't any money, and they won't trust me to pay them for
my ticket when I get some. So I tried to sell a piece of jewellery I
have, and nobody would buy it. I thought when I saw you come out of the
train that maybe _you_ would. I don't know why--but you're different.
You look as if you'd know all about valuable things--and whether they're
real; and as if you'd be--not stupid, or like these other people."
"Thank you," he returned, and smiled his pleasant smile. If another man
had described such a meeting with a pretty and apparently ingenuous girl
in a railway station at ten o'clock at night, he would still have
smiled, but not the same smile. He would have been sure that the girl
was a minx, and the man a fool. He recognized this unreasonableness in
himself; nevertheless, he had no doubt that his own instinct about the
girl was right. She was genuine of her sort, whatever her strange sort
might be; and though he laughed at himself for the impulse, he could not
help wanting to do something for her, in an elder-brother way. For an
instant his thoughts went to the woman who was waiting for and expecting
him, the train being late. But quickly the curtain was drawn before her
portrait in his mind.
"You say your grandmother never let you make friends," he said, "yet you
seem to believe in your own knowledge of human nature."
"Because, what you aren't allowed to see or do, you think of a great
deal more. Knowledge _jumps_ into your head in such an interesting way,"
the girl answered, with an apologetic air, as a witness might if wishing
to conciliate a cross-questioning counsel. "Here's the jewellery I want
to sell. It was my father's, and belonged to his father and
grandfather."
She opened her ungloved right hand to reveal a bonnet brooch of
beautiful and very ancient workmanship showing the crest of the
MacDonalds of Dhrum set with a fine cairngorm and some exquisite old
paste. It must have come down through many fathers to many sons, for it
was at least two hundred years old.
"You would sell this?" the man exclaimed.
"Well, I _must_ get to London," she excused herself, "and it's the only
thing I have worth selling. I _knew_ you'd see it was good. The others
would hardly look at it, except one quite horrid man who squeezed my
hand when I was showing him the brooch, and that made me behave so
rudely to him he went away at once."
"Was your father a MacDonald of Dhrum?" asked the man who had not
squeezed her hand, and exhibited no wish to do so, though his eyes never
left her face.
"Yes. Why, do you know our tartan and crest?"
"I--thought I recognized them." For an instant he was tempted to add an
item of information concerning himself, but he beat down the impulse.
"If you want money, you can raise something on this without selling it,"
he went on. "It would be a pity to part with an heirloom."
"I didn't know I could do that," said the girl. "Of course it would be
better. I'm going to London to find somebody--my mother," she continued,
in a different tone. "When I get to her, she'll give me money, of
course, and I can pay you back, if you'll lend me enough now to buy my
ticket--and perhaps a little, a very little, more, because I mayn't find
her at once. I may have to go on somewhere else after London, though I
hope not. _Will_ you lend me some money and keep the brooch till I pay?"
"I might be prepared to do that," said the man slowly. "But you surely
don't mean to start off for London alone, in the night."
"Why not?" she argued. "There's no danger in railway trains, is there?
I've never been in one yet, but I've read lots about them in books, and
I think I shall love travelling."
"You've never been in a train!"
"No, because I was born at Grandma's house, and she never travels
anywhere, and I've always lived with her. If my father hadn't died, and
my mother hadn't--hadn't been obliged to go away when I was a baby,
probably I should have been just like other girls. But now I suppose I
must be very different, and seem stupid and queer. Every one stared as
if I were a wild animal when I was asking my way to the railway station.
But you will lend me the money, won't you, if you think the brooch is
worth it, because one of the porters told me there'd be a train for
London soon?"
"When people are making up their minds to lend money to strangers, they
always put a number of questions first," answered the man gravely, "so I
must ask you to excuse me if I catechize you a little before I engage
myself to do anything. Do you expect any one to meet you in London, Miss
MacDonald?"
"Dear me, no!" and she could not help laughing to hear herself called
"Miss MacDonald," a dignity never bestowed on her before. "I don't know
any one in London--unless my mother's there."
"Oh, indeed! But London's quite a big place, bigger a good deal than
Carlisle, you know, so you may have some difficulty in finding your
mother if you aren't sure of the address."
"She hasn't an address--I mean, I don't know it. But she's an actress on
the stage. I think she must be so beautiful and splendid that almost
every one will have heard of her, so all I will have to say is, 'Please
tell me whether Mrs. MacDonald the actress is in London?'"
"Not Mrs. Ballantree MacDonald!" This time he did look surprised.
"Ballantree was her name before she was married," the girl admitted.
"And her Christian name's Barbara. Do you know her?"
"I do, slightly," replied the man. "But I had no idea that she----" He
broke off abruptly, looking more closely than ever at the vivid face
under the knitted tam.
"I suppose, if you don't know her very well, she never spoke to you
about having a daughter?" Barrie asked.
"No, she never spoke of it. But look here, Miss MacDonald, as I happen
to be an acquaintance--I daren't call myself a friend--of your mother's,
you'd better let me advise you a little, without thinking that I'm
taking a liberty. From what you say, I have the idea that you've not had
time to write Mrs. Bal--I mean, Mrs. Ballantree MacDonald that you're
coming to pay her a visit."
"No, I only made up my mind to-day," said Barrie carefully. "Grandma and
she aren't good friends, so my mother and I--don't write to each other.
Grandma doesn't like the stage, and as you know mother, I don't mind
telling you she's been perfectly horrid--Grandma, I mean. She let me
believe that mother was dead--just because she's an actress, which I
think must be splendid. That's why I'm running away, and wild horses
couldn't drag me back."
"I see. Mrs. Ballantree MacDonald will be taken by surprise when you
turn up."
"Yes. It will be like things I've dreamed about and invented to make
into story-books--really interesting story-books such as Grandma
wouldn't let me read, for she approves only of Hannah More. Won't mother
be delighted?"
"Just at first her surprise may overcome her natural joy," said the man.
"And here is where my advice comes in. It's this: Let the news be broken
to your mother before you try to see her. That would be the wisest
thing. Besides, she mayn't be in London now--probably isn't. It's past
the season there; and Mrs. Ballantree MacDonald is one of those
beautiful and successful people, you know, who are generally found at
places in the most fashionable time of the year. If she's acting, it
will be easy to find out where she is from one of the stage papers. She
could be written to, and----"
"No, I _want_ to surprise her!" Barrie persisted. "I want first to see
her, for I know she must be a darling and perfectly lovely; and then I
want to say, 'Mother, here's your daughter Barribel, that you named
yourself, come to love you and live with you always.'"
"Er--yes. It sounds charming," replied the man, gazing at a large
advertisement of a new food with quite an odd look in his eyes. "If your
heart's set on that scene I've no right to try and dissuade you; but
anyhow, the thing to do is to find out where she is before you start,
for you might get to London only to have to turn round and come back. In
August she's more likely to be in Scotland than in London."
"Oh, is she?" Barrie's face told all her doubt and disappointment. "But
I can't wait. I must go somewhere. If I don't take a train, Mrs. Muir
our housekeeper and perhaps Miss Hepburn may come here looking for me
from Hillard House. I'm afraid they found out at prayer-time that I'd
gone, and when they've searched all over the house and garden, they----"
"So you make no bones about running away from home, Miss MacDonald?"
"Neither would you in my place if you and your mother were insulted."
"Perhaps not," the man admitted. "I did something more or less of the
sort when I was a year or two older than you--about seventeen----"
"But I'm over seventeen already," Barrie hastened to boast. "I'm
eighteen."
The man smiled at her, his nicest smile. "Eighteen! That's very old, and
it's only living the retired life you have that's kept you young. Still,
there it is! You _have_ lived a retired life, and it's--er--it's left
its mark on you. It will take at least some months to efface it, even
under your mother's wing. That means you're a bit handicapped among a
lot of people who haven't lived retired lives. I don't advise you to go
back to your grandmother's house, because you wouldn't anyhow--and
besides, you know your own business better than I do; only, of course,
you'll have to write to her. As an acquaintance of your mother's, I'd
like to put you with some kind people for to-night until we can find out
for you just where Mrs. Ballantree MacDonald is. Don't you see that this
would be a sensible arrangement, if the people were all right, instead
of starting off on a wild-goose chase?"
"Ye-es, perhaps. And it's very kind of you to take an interest for my
mother's sake," said Barrie, trying not to show her disappointment
ungraciously.
"Of course, for your mother's sake," he repeated, with an expressionless
expression. "I call myself Somerled," he added, watching her face as he
made his announcement.
She caught him up quickly. "Why, that was the name of the great leader
from the North who founded the Clan MacDonald!"
"You know about him, do you--in spite of the retired life?"
"Not to know would disgrace a MacDonald. And just because I _have_ led a
retired life I've had more time to learn than girls in the world. I know
a good deal--really I do. I've read--heaps of things, behind Grandma's
back. Somerled of the Isles is a hero of mine. I didn't know any one had
a right to his name nowadays."
"I dare to bear it, like a Standard, with or without right, though
unworthily. Somerled of the Isles was my hero too."
"Then you're Scottish, like me," said Barrie. "I don't feel related to
Grandma's people, and I don't know anything about mother's. But if
you're going to be my friend for her sake, I'm glad your name is
Somerled. It's splendid!"
"Yes, it's splendid to be called Somerled," the man agreed, faintly
emphasizing the substituted word. "And I'm proud to be a Scot, though
I've lived half my life in America, and they think of me there as an
American. I've been thinking of myself that way too for seventeen years.
But blood's a good deal thicker than water, and I was born on the island
of Dhrum."
"Our island!" exclaimed Barrie. "That makes it seem as if we were
related."
"I hoped it would, because a Somerled has a right to the trust of a
MacDonald. Will you trust me to motor you to my friend Mrs. West, who's
stopping just now with her brother in a nice little house just outside
Carlisle? It's named Moorhill Farm, and belongs to a Mrs. Keeling, who
has lent it to Mrs. West. I'm going there, and they'll be glad to keep
you until we can learn where you ought to meet your mother. Perhaps you
know of Mrs. Keeling and her house?"
Barrie glanced at him half longingly, half doubtfully. She had been
looking forward to the adventure of travelling to London; but if there
were less chance of her mother being there than elsewhere, London was
wiped off the map. Still Barrie was loth to abandon her plan. To do so
was like admitting failure--in spite of the motor, which she would love
to try. She had never been within two yards of a motor-car.
"I've seen Mrs. Keeling in church," she said. "She has stick-out teeth.
Grandma bows to her. But how can you tell that Mrs. West will be glad to
have me?"
"I'll answer for her hospitality," came Somerled's assurance. "You'll
like Mrs. West. She's a widow, and a sweet woman. Her brother's as nice
as she is--Basil Norman. Perhaps you've heard of them? They write books
together--stories about travel and love and motor-cars."
"No," Barrie confessed. "I don't know any authors later than Dickens,
unless I see their names in book-sellers' windows, when I come into town
with Heppie--Miss Hepburn. If you don't mind, I think I'd rather not go
to Mrs. West's. I'm afraid of strangers."
"Are you afraid of me, then?"
"No-o. But you're a man. I'm afraid of women. They stare at your
clothes, and I know mine are horrid."
"Mrs. West won't stare. She'll help you buy pretty things to wear when
you go to your mother."
"Will she? But how shall I buy them? I haven't any money."
"You'll have money from your father's brooch. Now--will you trust me and
come to Mrs. Keeling's house, as your grandmother bows to her?"
"I'd rather go to a hotel, thank you."
"Nonsense. You can't go alone to a hotel."
"Why?"
"It wouldn't be proper for Miss MacDonald of Dhrum."
"Now you talk like Grandma!"
"I talk common sense. I'll lend you no money to spend in a hotel."
"Then take me to Mrs. West," the girl said, as she might have said,
"Take me to the scaffold."
Somerled laughed with amusement and triumph. He was astonishingly
interested in his adventure, astonishingly pleased at the prospect of
continuing it. Surely this girl was unique! He believed in comparatively
few things, but he believed in her: for not to do so would have been
indeed ungrateful, as she was ready to prove her implicit belief in him.
"A daughter of Mrs. Bal!" he said to himself as he led Mrs. Bal's
daughter to his motor-car.
Poor Barrie would have believed in almost any man who owned a motor.
IV
Aline West and her brother, Basil Norman, were walking slowly up and
down the garden path in front of the old-fashioned manor farmhouse lent
to them for ten days by an admiring friend. They were waiting for
Somerled, who had expressed a desire not to be met at the station; and
listening for the teuf-teuf of motors along the distant road prevented
Mrs. West from attending to her brother's suggestions. He had had an
inspiration for the new novel they were planning together, and was
explaining it eagerly, for Basil was a born story-teller. Only, he had
never found time for story-telling until lately. He was tremendously
happy in his new way of life, although only a terrible illness which had
closed others paths of success had opened this door for him. It did not
matter in the least that Aline got the credit. Not only was he glad that
she should have praise, but he was convinced that it ought to be hers.
If she had not thought of asking him to try his hand at helping her four
years ago, when the incentive to live seemed gone, he might have been
driven to put himself out of the way. It was to her, therefore, that he
owed everything; and though success as an author had never come to Aline
until after the first book they wrote together, that, to Basil Norman's
mind, was no more than a coincidence, and he had never ceased to feel
that she was generous in letting his name appear with hers on their
title pages.
"I wonder if anything can have happened to him!" Aline murmured.
"Which, Dick or Claud?" her brother asked, puzzled. Dick was to be their
hero, Claud the villain. Basil had been engaged in outlining the two
characters for his sister's approval.
"No. Ian Somerled," she explained almost crossly, though her voice was
sweet, because it was never otherwise than sweet. "Either the train's
late or----"
"I'd have met him with pleasure," Basil reminded her.
"It would be _fatal_ to do anything he didn't wish," she answered. "He's
a man who knows exactly what he wants, and hates to have people go
against his directions in the smallest things."
Norman looked at her rather anxiously through the soft summer darkness
that was hardly darkness. She was walking beside him with her hands
clasped behind her back and her head bent. He thought her extremely
pretty, and wondered if Somerled thought so too. But he wished that she
did not care quite so much what Somerled thought. And he was not sure
whether she were right about what Somerled liked.
"I wonder if we understand Somerled?" he asked, as if he were
questioning himself aloud. "After all, we don't know him very well."
"I do," Aline said. "I know him like a book. He's bored to death with
everything nearly. Only I--we--haven't bored him yet. And we must take
care not to."
"You could never bore anybody," Basil assured her loyally. "But--I wish
you'd tell me something honestly, old girl."
"Not if you call me that!" She laughed a little. "It wouldn't matter if
I were twenty-five instead of--never mind! I don't want people to think,
when they hear you, 'Many a true word spoken in jest.'"
"Somerled's older than you are, anyhow," Basil consoled her.
"I should think so--ages! Don't forget, dear, I'm only just thirty. I
don't look more, do I--truly?"
"Not a day over twenty-eight."
She was disappointed that he did not say less. She had been twenty-nine
for years, and had just begun, for a change, to state frankly that she
was thirty. She had never been able to forgive Basil for being younger
than she, but she could trust him not to advertise his advantage. He
really was a dear! She hated herself for being jealous of him sometimes.
There were things he could do, there were thoughts that came to him as
easily as homing birds, which were with her only a pretence: but she
pretended eagerly, sincerely, even with prayer. She really yearned to be
at heart all that she tried to make Somerled and other people believe
her to be. And if she tried hard to be genuine all through, surely in
time----
"What I want you to tell me is," Basil was going on, "are you in l--how
much do you really care about this man?"
"'This man?'" she repeated. "How serious that sounds; like 'Do you take
this man for better, for worse?' Well, I confess that I _should_, if he
asked me."
"Then you must be in love," her brother concluded. "Because you don't
need his money. We make as many thousands as we used to make hundreds;
and it's all yours, really, or ought to be."
She was ashamed of not contradicting him, yet she did not contradict.
She could not bear to put in words what in her heart she knew to be the
truth: that their success was due to Basil, the dreamer of dreams; that
her little smartnesses and pretty trivialities could never have carried
them to the place where they now stood together. The worst part of her
wanted Basil to think, wanted every one to think, that she was the
important partner, that she was actually _all_ in the partnership. And
it was too miserably easy to produce this impression. Basil was so
unassuming, thought so poorly of himself, realized so little how she
leaned upon him in their work, admired her so loyally!
"Ian Somerled is more of a man than any other man I ever met," she said.
"I like him for his strength and for his indifference. Everything about
him appeals to me--even his money; for making it in the way he did was
one expression of his power. Just because they say he'll never marry, I
want----"
"I can understand how a woman may feel about him," Basil said gently,
when she suddenly broke off.
"I thought I was perfectly happy the day he asked us to tour Scotland
with him in his car; and when he promised to spend a few days with us
here, after he'd got through his business in London," Aline went on, "it
was like _honey_ to hear him say that he didn't want to come if any one
else was to be here. He'd enjoy it only with you and me alone. But ever
since I saw him I've been worrying until I'm quite wretched."
"Worrying about what?"
"Whether he _suspects_ anything."
"Why, what is there to suspect?"
"Then _you_ don't? I'm glad, for you're both men. If you don't suspect,
why should he?"
"You'll have to tell me what you're driving at. I shan't have an easy
minute till you do--and that means I can't write. You know I won't give
you away."
"A woman wouldn't need telling. That's why I like men! You never
guessed, then, that I've been doing it all? I was the power behind the
throne. I made him invite us, and----"
"The deuce you did! Why, I heard him ask you. It was on board ship,
and----"
"And before he asked, unless you were deaf, you heard me say I couldn't
work up any enthusiasm about the next book we'd promised our publisher
to write because we'd sold our last car and hadn't time to make up our
minds about a new one, and we had no friends to give us good 'tips'
about the country. It was then he asked me what country we wanted to
write about, and I said Scotland."
"Well, yes, I suppose I heard you say all that, now you remind me of it.
But it wasn't hinting, because you didn't know he was going to Scotland
for his rest cure."
"Oh, yes, I did. I read it in the New York _Sun_ before we sailed. And
when I said we'd accept his invitation if he'd accept ours, Mrs. Keeling
hadn't offered me this house."
"You said she had."
"I was sure she would, because she told me I had only to ask. She was
dying to lend it. She wanted to be able to tell everybody that Aline
West and Basil Norman lived in her house for a fortnight in August. It's
a great feather in her cap; and Ian Somerled coming to visit us here is
something she'll _never_ get over as long as she lives. I marconied her
an hour after he'd said that he would come to us after London, and we'd
begin our motor tour from Carlisle. 'Twas only taking Time by the
forelock to tell him we _had_ been invited. It _was_ bad luck poor Mrs.
Keeling being ill when she got my wire, and she really was a trump to
turn out and go to a nursing home."
"Good heavens, is that what she did? I didn't know----"
"Of course not. But you needn't mind so dreadfully. She's _much_ more
comfortable in the nursing home with the best attention than in her own.
And, as a reward, we'll dedicate the book to her."
Aline said this as a queen might have suggested lending her crown to a
loyal servitor. Basil laughed, rather uncomfortably, and his sister
looked up hastily into his face, to see if he were making fun of her.
Just then they were drawing near the open windows of the drawing-room,
and the lamplight shone out so brightly through the old-fashioned
embroidered lace curtains that she could see his profile. Hers too was
clearly outlined as she lifted her chin anxiously.