The Tale Of A Traveler
It was Samoa, who told the incredible tale; and he told it as a
traveler. But stay-at-homes say travelers lie. Yet a voyage to Ethiopia
would cure them of that; for few skeptics are travelers; fewer
travelers liars, though the proverb respecting them lies. It is false,
as some say, that Bruce was cousin-german to Baron Munchausen; but
true, as Bruce said, that the Abysinnians cut live steaks from their
cattle. It was, in good part, his villainous transcribers, who made
monstrosities of Mandeville’s travels. And though all liars go to
Gehenna; yet, assuming that Mandeville died before Dante; still, though
Dante took the census of Hell, we find not Sir John, under the likeness
of a roasted neat’s tongue, in that infernalest of infernos, The
Inferno.
But let not the truth be postponed. To the stand, Samoa, and through
your interpreter, speak.
Once upon a time, during his endless sea-rovings, the Upoluan was
called upon to cobble the head of a friend, grievously hurt in a
desperate fight of slings.
Upon examination, that part of the brain proving as much injured as the
cranium itself, a young pig was obtained; and preliminaries being over,
part of its live brain was placed in the cavity, the trepan
accomplished with cocoanut shell, and the scalp drawn over and secured.
This man died not, but lived. But from being a warrior of great sense
and spirit, he became a perverse-minded and piggish fellow, showing
many of the characteristics of his swinish grafting. He survived the
operation more than a year; at the end of that period, however, going
mad, and dying in his delirium.
Stoutly backed by the narrator, this anecdote was credited by some
present. But Babbalanja held out to the last.
“Yet, if this story be true,” said he, “and since it is well settled,
that our brains are somehow the organs of sense; then, I see not why
human reason could not be put into a pig, by letting into its cranium
the contents of a man’s. I have long thought, that men, pigs, and
plants, are but curious physiological experiments; and that science
would at last enable philosophers to produce new species of beings, by
somehow mixing, and concocting the essential ingredients of various
creatures; and so forming new combinations. My friend Atahalpa, the
astrologer and alchymist, has long had a jar, in which he has been
endeavoring to hatch a fairy, the ingredients being compounded
according to a receipt of his own.”
But little they heeded Babbalanja. It was the traveler’s tale that most
arrested attention.
Tough the thews, and tough the tales of Samoa.