FEBRUARY is here, February fill-dyke; the month of purification, of
cleansing rains and pulsing bounding streams, and white mist clinging
insistent to field and hedgerow so that when her veil is withdrawn
greenness may make us glad.
The river has been uniformly grey of late, with no wind to ruffle
its surface or to speed the barges dropping slowly and sullenly down
with the tide through a blurring haze. I watched one yesterday, its
useless sails half-furled and no sign of life save the man at the helm.
It drifted stealthily past, and a little behind, flying low, came a
solitary seagull, grey as the river's haze--a following bird.
Once again I lay on my back in the bottom of the tarry old fishing
smack, blue sky above and no sound but the knock, knock of the waves,
and the thud and curl of falling foam as the old boat's blunt nose
breasted the coming sea. Then Daddy Whiddon spoke.
"A follerin' bürrd," he said.
I got up, and looked across the blue field we were ploughing into white
furrows. Far away a tiny sail scarred the great solitude, and astern
came a gull flying slowly close to the water's breast.
Daddy Whiddon waved his pipe towards it.
"A follerin' bürrd," he said, again; and again I waited; questions were
not grateful to him.
"There be a carpse there, sure enough, a carpse driftin' and shiftin'
on the floor of the sea. There be those as can't rest, poor sawls, and
her'll be mun, her'll be mun, and the sperrit of her is with the bürrd."
The clumsy boom swung across as we changed our course, and the water
ran from us in smooth reaches on either side: the bird flew steadily on.
"What will the spirit do?" I said.
The old man looked at me gravely.
"Her'll rest in the Lard's time, in the Lard's gude time--but now
her'll just be follerin' on with the bürrd."
The gull was flying close to us now, and a cold wind swept the sunny
sea. I shivered: Daddy looked at me curiously.
"There be reason enough to be cawld if us did but knaw it, but I be
mos' used to 'em, poor sawls." He shaded his keen old blue eyes, and
looked away across the water. His face kindled. "There be a skule
comin', and by my sawl 'tis mackerel they be drivin'."
I watched eagerly, and saw the dark line rise and fall in the trough
of the sea, and, away behind, the stir and rush of tumbling porpoises
as they chased their prey.
Again we changed our tack, and each taking an oar, pulled lustily for
the beach.
"Please God her'll break inshore," said Daddy Whiddon; and he shouted
the news at the idle men waiting who hailed us.
In a moment all was stir, for the fishing had been slack. Two boats
put out with the lithe brown seine. The dark line had turned, but the
school was still behind, churning the water in clumsy haste; they were
coming in.
Then the brit broke in silvery leaping waves on the shelving beach. The
three-fold hunt was over; the porpoises turned out to sea in search
of fresh quarry; and the seine, dragged by ready hands, came slowly,
stubbornly in with its quivering treasure of fish. They had sought a
haven and found none; the brit lay dying in the flickering iridescent
heaps as the bare-legged babies of the village gathered them up; and
far away over the water I saw a single grey speck; it was the following
bird.
* * * * *
The curtain of river haze falls back; barge and bird are alike gone,
and the lamplighter has lit the first gas-lamp on the far side of the
bridge. Every night I watch him come, his progress marked by the great
yellow eyes that wake the dark. Sometimes he walks quickly; sometimes
he loiters on the bridge to chat, or stare at the dark water; but he
always comes, leaving his watchful deterrent train behind him to police
the night.
Once Demeter in the black anguish of her desolation searched for lost
Persephone by the light of Hecate's torch; and searching all in vain,
spurned beneath her empty feet an earth barren of her smile; froze
with set brows the merry brooks and streams; and smote forest, and
plain, and fruitful field, with the breath of her last despair, until
even Iambe's laughing jest was still. And then when the desolation was
complete, across the wasted valley where the starveling cattle scarcely
longed to browse, came the dreadful chariot--and Persephone. The day of
the prisoner of Hades had dawned; and as the sun flamed slowly up to
light her thwarted eyes the world sprang into blossom at her feet.
We can never be too Pagan when we are truly Christian, and the old
myths are eternal truths held fast in the Church's net. Prometheus
fetched fire from Heaven, to be slain forever in the fetching; and
lo, a Greater than Prometheus came to fire the cresset of the Cross.
Demeter waits now patiently enough. Persephone waits, too, in the faith
of the sun she cannot see: and every lamp lit carries on the crusade
which has for its goal a sunless, moonless, city whose light is the
Light of the world.
"Lume è lassù, che visibile face
lo creatore a quella creatura,
che solo in lui vedere ha la sua pace."
Immediately outside my window is a lime tree--a little black skeleton
of abundant branches--in which sparrows congregate to chirp and bicker.
Farther away I have a glimpse of graceful planes, children of moonlight
and mist; their dainty robes, still more or less unsullied, gleam
ghostly in the gaslight athwart the dark. They make a brave show even
in winter with their feathery branches and swinging tassels, whereas my
little tree stands stark and uncompromising, with its horde of sooty
sparrows cockney to the last tail feather, and a pathetic inability
to look anything but black. Rain comes with strong caressing fingers,
and the branches seem no whit the cleaner for her care; but then their
glistening blackness mirrors back the succeeding sunlight, as a muddy
pavement will sometimes lap our feet in a sea of gold. The little wet
sparrows are for the moment equally transformed, for the sun turns
their dun-coloured coats to a ruddy bronze, and cries Chrysostom as it
kisses each shiny beak. They are dumb Chrysostoms; but they preach a
golden gospel, for the sparrows are to London what the rainbow was to
eight saved souls out of a waste of waters--a perpetual sign of the
remembering mercies of God.
Last night there was a sudden clatter of hoofs, a shout, and then
silence. A runaway cab-horse, a dark night, a wide crossing, and a
heavy burden: so death came to a poor woman. People from the house went
out to help; and I heard of her, the centre of an unknowing curious
crowd, as she lay bonnetless in the mud of the road, her head on the
kerb. A rude but painless death: the misery lay in her life; for this
woman--worn, white-haired, and wrinkled--had but fifty years to set
against such a condition. The policeman reported her respectable,
hard-working, living apart from her husband with a sister; but although
they shared rooms, they "did not speak," and the sister refused all
responsibility; so the parish buried the dead woman, and thus ended an
uneventful tragedy.
Was it her own fault? If so, the greater pathos. The lonely souls that
hold out timid hands to an unheeding world have their meed of interior
comfort even here, while the sons of consolation wait on the threshold
for their footfall: but God help the soul that bars its own door! It
is kicking against the pricks of Divine ordinance, the ordinance of a
triune God; whether it be the dweller in crowded street or tenement
who is proud to say, "I keep myself to myself," or Seneca writing in
pitiful complacency, "Whenever I have gone among men, I have returned
home less of a man." Whatever the next world holds in store, we are
bidden in this to seek and serve God in our fellow-men, and in the
creatures of His making whom He calls by name.
It was once my privilege to know an old organ-grinder named Gawdine.
He was a hard swearer, a hard drinker, a hard liver, and he fortified
himself body and soul against the world: he even drank alone, which is
an evil sign.
One day to Gawdine sober came a little dirty child, who clung to his
empty trouser leg--he had lost a limb years before--with a persistent
unintelligible request. He shook the little chap off with a blow and
a curse; and the child was trotting dismally away, when it suddenly
turned, ran back, and held up a dirty face for a kiss.
Two days later Gawdine fell under a passing dray which inflicted
terrible internal injuries on him. They patched him up in hospital, and
he went back to his organ-grinding, taking with him two friends--a
pain which fell suddenly upon him to rack and rend with an anguish
of crucifixion, and the memory of a child's upturned face. Outwardly
he was the same save that he changed the tunes of his organ, out of
long-hoarded savings, for the jigs and reels which children hold dear,
and stood patiently playing them in child-crowded alleys, where pennies
are not as plentiful as elsewhere.
He continued to drink; it did not come within his new code to stop,
since he could "carry his liquor well"; but he rarely, if ever, swore.
He told me this tale through the throes of his anguish as he lay
crouched on a mattress on the floor; and as the grip of the pain took
him he tore and bit at his hands until they were maimed and bleeding,
to keep the ready curses off his lips.
He told the story, but he gave no reason, offered no explanation: he
has been dead now many a year, and thus would I write his epitaph:--
He saw the face of a little child and looked on God.