(_Lines suggested by the recent demise of the inventor of Esperanto._)
As a patriotic Briton
I am naturally smitten
With disgust
When some universal lingo
By a zealous anti-Jingo
Is discussed.
Some there are who hold that Spanish
In the end is bound to banish
Other tongues;
Some again regard Slavonic
As a stimulating tonic
For the lungs.
I would sooner bank on Tuscan,
Ay, or even on Etruscan,
Than on Erse;
But fanatical campaigners,
Gaelic Leaguers and Sinn Feiners
Find it terse.
Some are moved to have a shy at
Persian, thanks to the _Rubaiyat_,
And its ease;
But it's quite another matter
If you're anxious for to chatter
In Chinese.
To instruct a brainy brat in
Canine or colloquial Latin
_May_ be wise;
But it's not an education
As a fruitful speculation
I'd advise.
French? All elegance equips it,
But how oft on foreign lips it
Runs awry;
German, tainted, execrated,
Is for ages relegated
To the sty.
As for brand-new tongues invented
By professors discontented
With the old,
Well, the prospect of a "panto"
Played and sung in Esperanto
Leaves me cold.
* * * * *
"One of the most striking--and satisfactory--features of the new
restaurant regime is the disappearance of the bread-basket."--_Daily
Telegraph._
Or, at any rate, a considerable shrinkage in its contour.
* * * * *
"If there must be duplication of electric light installations, the
apparati might, at least, be made uniform. And it would not be
expecting too much if they were made in some way to harmonise with the
telephone service."--_Australian Paper._
Or even with the Latin Grammar?
* * * * *
"5-Seater Car for Sale; must sell; chauffeur at the Front; own body
cost over L73. What offers?--RECTOR."--_Times._
These personal details seem to us a little out of place in a commercial
transaction.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _John._ "BUT WHY MUSTN'T WE HAVE NEW BREAD ANY MORE?"
_Joan._ "WHY, DON'T YOU SEE, SILLY? IF WE EAT YESTERDAY'S AND SAVE UP
TO-DAY'S THERE'LL ALWAYS BE SOME FOR TO-MORROW. THEN THE GERMANS CAN'T
STARVE US."]
* * * * *