Margot wandered about the Park so lost in her own thoughts that she was
dismayed to find that it was already one o'clock, when warned by the
departing stream of nursemaids that it must be approaching luncheon hour
she at last consulted her watch.
Half an hour's walk, cold cutlets and an irate Agnes, were prospects
which did not smile upon her; it seemed infinitely more agreeable to
turn in an opposite direction, and make as quickly as possible for
Oxford Terrace, where she would be certain of a welcome from poor sad
Edith, who was probably even now lunching on bread and cheese and
anxiety, while her two sturdy infants tucked into nourishing beefsteak.
Edith was one of those dear things who did not preach if you were late,
but was content to give you what she had, without apologising.
Margot trotted briskly past Dorset Square, took a short cut behind the
Great Central Hotel, and emerged into the dreary stretch of Marylebone
Road.
Even in the spring sunshine it looked dull and depressing, with the
gloomy hospital abutting at the corner, the flights of dull red flats on
the right.
A block of flats--in appearance the most depressing--in reality the most
interesting of buildings!
Inside those walls a hundred different households lived, and moved, and
had their being. Every experience of life and death, of joy and grief,
was acted on that stage, the innumerable curtains of which were so
discreetly drawn. Margot scanned the several rows of windows with a
curious interest. To-day new silk _brise-bise_ appeared on the second
floor, and a glimpse of a branching palm. Possibly some young bride had
found her new home in this dull labyrinth, and it was still beautiful in
her sight! Alas, poor bird, to be condemned to build in such a nest!
Those curtains to the right were shockingly dirty, showing that some
over-tired housewife had retired discomfited from the struggle against
London grime. Up on the sixth floor there was a welcome splash of
colour in the shape of Turkey red curtains, and a bank of scarlet
geranium. Margot had decided long since that this flat must belong to
an art student to whom colour was a necessity of life; who toiled up the
weary length of stairs on her return from the day's work, tasting in
advance the welcome of the cosy room. She herself never forgot to look
up at that window, or to send a mental message of sympathy and cheer to
its unknown occupant.
Oxford Terrace looked quite cheerful in comparison with the surrounding
roads,--and almost countrified into the bargain, now that the beech
trees were bursting into leaf. Margot passed by two or three blocks,
then mounting the steps at the corner of a new terrace, walked along
within the railed-in strip of lawn until she reached a house in the
middle of the row. A peep between draped Nottingham lace curtains
showed a luncheon table placed against the wall, after the cheerful
fashion of furnished apartments, when one room does duty for three, at
which sat two little sailor-suited lads and a pale mother, smiling
bravely at their sallies.
Margot felt the quick contraction of the heart which she experienced
afresh at every sight of Edith's changed face, but next moment she
whistled softly in the familiar key, and saw the light flash back.
Edith sprang to the door, and appeared flushed and smiling.
"Margot, how sweet of you! I _am_ glad! Have you had lunch?"
"No. Give me anything you have. I'm awfully late. Bread and jam will
do splendidly. Halloa, youngsters, how are you? We'll defer kisses, I
think, till you are past the sticky stage. I've been prowling about the
Park for the last two hours enjoying the spring breezes, and working out
problems, and suddenly discovered it was too late to go home."
She sank down on a seat by the table, shaking her head in response to an
anxious glance. "No, not my own affairs, dear; only Ron's! Can't the
boys run away now, and let us have a chat? I know you have had enough
of them by your face, and I've such a lot to say. Don't grumble, boys!
Be good, and you shall be happy, and your aunt will take you to the Zoo.
Yes, I promise! The very first afternoon that the sun shines; but
first I shall ask mother if you have deserved it by doing what you are
told."
"Run upstairs, dears, and wash, and put on your boots before Esther
comes," said Mrs Martin fondly; and the boys obeyed, with a lingering
obedience which was plainly due rather to bribery than training.
The elder of the two was a sturdy, plain-featured lad, uninteresting
except to the parental eye; the younger a beauty, a bewitching, plump,
curly-headed cherub of four years, with widely-opened grey eyes and a
Cupid's bow of a mouth. Margot let Jim pass by with a nod, but her hand
stretched out involuntarily to stroke Pat's cheek, and ruffle his curly
pow.
Edith smiled in sympathetic understanding, but even as she smiled she
turned her head over her shoulder to speak a parting word to the older
lad.
"Good-bye, darling! We'll have a lovely game after tea!" Then the door
shut, and she turned to her sister with a sigh.
"Poor Jim! everybody overlooks him to fuss over Pat, and it is hard
lines. Children feel these things much more than grown-up people
realise. I heard yells resounding from their bedroom one day last year,
and flew upstairs to see what was wrong. There was Pat on the floor,
with Jim kneeling on his chest, with his fingers twined in his hair,
which he was literally dragging out by the roots. He was put to bed for
being cruel to his little brother, but when I went to talk quietly to
him afterwards, he sobbed so pitifully, and said, `I only wanted some of
his curls to put on, to make people love me too!' Poor wee man! You
know what a silly way people have of saying, `Will you give me one of
your curls?' and poor Jim had grown tired of walking beside the pram,
and having no notice taken of him. I vowed that from that day if I
showed the least preference to either of the boys it should be to Jim.
The world will be kind to Pat; he will never need friends."
"No, Pat is all right. He has the `come-hither eye,' as his mother had
before him!"
"And his aunt!"
Margot chuckled complacently. "Well! it's a valuable thing to possess.
I find it most useful in my various plights. They are dear naughty
boys, both of them, and I always love them, but rather less than usual
when I see you looking so worn out. You have enough strain on you
without turning nursemaid into the bargain."
Mrs Martin sighed, and knitted her delicate brows.
"I do feel such a wicked wretch, but one of the hardest bits of life at
the present is being shut up with the boys in one room all day long.
They are very good, poor dears, but when one is racked with anxiety, it
is a strain to play wild Indians and polar bears for hours at a stretch.
We do some lessons now, and that's a help--and Jack insisted that I
should engage this girl to take them out in the afternoon. I must be a
wretched mother, for I am thankful every day afresh to hear the door
bang behind them, and to know that I am free until tea-time."
"Nonsense! Don't be artificial, Edie! You know that you are nothing of
the sort, and that it's perfectly natural to be glad of a quiet hour.
You are a marvel of patience. I should snap their heads off if I had
them all day, packed up in this little room. What have you had for
lunch? No meat? And you look so white and spent. How wicked of you!"
"Oh, Margot," sighed the other pathetically, "it's not food that I need!
What good can food do when one is racked with anxiety? It's my mind
that is ill, not my body. We can't pay our way even with the rent of
the house coming in, unless Jack gets something to do very soon, and I
am such a stupid, useless thing that I can do nothing to help."
"Except to give up your house, and your servants, and turn yourself into
nurse, and seamstress, and tailor, and dressmaker, rolled into one; and
live in an uproar all day long, and be a perfect angel of sympathy every
night--that's all!--and try to do it on bread and cheese into the
bargain! There must be something inherently mean in women, to skimp
themselves as they do. You'd never find a man who would grudge tenpence
for a chop, however hard up he might be, but a woman spends twopence on
lunch, and a sovereign on tonics! Darling, will it comfort you most if
I sympathise, or encourage? I know there are moods when it's pure
aggravation to be cheerful!"
Edith sighed and smiled at one and the same moment.
"I don't know! I'd like to hear a little of both, I think, just to see
what sort of a case you could make out."
"Very well, then, so you shall, but first I'll make you comfy. Which is
the least lumpy chair which this beautiful room possesses? Sit down
then, and put up your feet while I enjoy my lunch. I do love damson
jam! I shall finish the pot before I'm satisfied... Well, to take the
worst things first, I do sympathise with you about the table linen! One
clean cloth a week, I suppose? It must be quite a chronicle of the
boys' exploits! I should live on cold meat, so that they couldn't spill
he gravy. And the spoons. They feel gritty, don't they? What is it
exactly that they are made of? Poor old, dainty Edie! I know you hate
it, and the idea that aliens are usurping your own treasures. Stupid
people like Agnes would say that these are only pin-pricks, which we
should not deign to notice, but sensible people like you and me know
that constant little pricks take more out of one than the big stabs. If
the wall-paper had not been so hideous, your anxieties would have seemed
lighter, but it's difficult to bear things cheerfully against a
background of drab roses. Here's an idea now! If all else fails, start
a cheerful lodging-house. You'd make a fortune, and be a philanthropist
to boot... This _is_ good jam! I shall have to hide the stones, for
the sake of decency.--I know you think fifty times more of Jack than of
yourself. It's hard luck to feel that all his hard work ends in this,
and men hate failure. They have the responsibility, poor things, and it
must be tragic to feel that through their mistakes, or rashness, or
incapacity, as the case may be, they have brought hard times upon their
wives. I expect Jack feels the table cloth even more than you do! You
smart, but you don't feel, `This is my fault!'"
"It isn't Jack's fault," interrupted Jack's wife quickly. "He never
speculated, nor shirked work, nor did anything but his best. It was
that hateful war, and the upset of the market, and--"
"Call it misfortune, then; in any case the fact remains that he is the
bread-winner, and has failed to provide--cake! We are not satisfied
with dry bread nowadays. You are always sure of that from father, if
from no one else."
"But I loathe taking it! And I would sooner live in one room than go
home again, as some people do. When one marries one loses one's place
in the old home, and it is never given back. Father loves me, but he
would feel it a humiliation to have me back on his hands. Agnes would
resent my presence, and so would you. Yes, you would! Not consciously,
perhaps, but in a hundred side-issues. We should take up your spare
rooms, and prevent visitors, and upset the maids. If you ran into debt,
father would pay your debts as a matter of course, but he grudges paying
mine, because they are partly Jack's."
"Yes, I understand. It must be hateful for you, dear. I suppose no man
wishes to pay out more money than he need, especially when he has worked
hard to make it, as the pater has done; but if you take him the right
way he is a marvel of goodness.--This year--next year--sometime--
never;--I'm going to be married next year! Just what I had decided
myself... I must begin to pick up bargains at the sales."
Margot rose from her seat, flicking the crumbs off her lap with a fine
disregard of the flower-wreathed carpet, and came over to a seat beside
her sister.
"Now, shall I change briefs, and expatiate on the other side of the
question? ... Why, Edie, every bit of this trouble depends on your
attitude towards it, and on nothing else. You are all well; you are
young; you adore each other; you have done nothing dishonourable; you
have been able to pay your debts--what does the rest matter? Jack has
had a big disappointment. Very well, but what's the use of crying over
spilt milk? Get a fresh jug, and try for cream next time! The children
are too young to suffer, and think it's fine fun to have no nursery, and
live near Edgware Road. If you and Jack could just manage to think the
same, you might turn it all into a picnic and a joke. Jack is strong
and clever and industrious, and you have a rich father; humanly
speaking, you will never want. Take it with a smile, dear! If you will
smile, so will Jack. If you push things to the end, it rests with you,
for he won't fret if he sees you happy. He _does_ love you, Edie! I'm
not sentimental, but I think it must be just the most beautiful thing in
the world to be loved like that. I should like some one to look at me
as he does at you, with his eyes lighting up with that deep, bright
glow. I'd live in an attic with my Jack, and ask for nothing more!"
The elder woman smiled--a smile eloquent of a sadder, maturer wisdom.
She adored her husband, and gloried in the knowledge of his love of
herself, but she knew that attics are not conducive to the continuance
of devotion. Love is a delicate plant, which needs care and nourishment
and discreet sheltering, if it is to remain perennially in bloom. The
smile lingered on her lips, however; she rested her head against the
cushions of her chair and cried gratefully--
"Oh, Margot, you do comfort me! You are so nice and human. Do you
really, truly think I am taking things too seriously? Do you think I am
depressing Jack? Wouldn't he think me heartless if I seemed bright and
happy?"
"Try it and see! You can decide according to the effect produced, but
first you must have a tonic, to brace you for the effort. I've a new
prescription, and we are going to Edgware Road to get it this very
hour."
"Quinine, I suppose. Esther and the boys can get it at the chemist's,
but really it will do roe no good."
"I'm sure it wouldn't. Mine is a hundred times more powerful."
"Iron? I can't take it. It gives me headaches."
"It isn't iron. Mine won't give you a headache, unless the pins get
twisted. It's a finer specific for low spirits feminine, than any
stupid drugs. A new hat!"
Edith stared, and laughed, and laughed again.
"You silly girl! What nonsense! I don't need a hat."
"That's nonsense if you like! It depresses me to see you going about in
that dowdy thing, and it must be a martyrdom for you to wear it every
day. Come out and buy a straw shape for something and `eleven-three',"
(it's always "eleven-three" in Edgware Road), "and I'll trim it with
some of your scraps. You have such nice scraps. Then we'll have tea,
and you shall walk part of the way home with me, and meet Jack, and
smile at him and look pretty, and watch him perk up to match. What do
you say?"
Edith lifted her eyes with a smile which brought back the youth and
beauty to her face.
"I say, thank you!" she said simply. "You are a regular missionary,
Margot. You spend your life making other people happy."
"Goodness!" cried Margot, aghast. "Do I? How proper it sounds! You
just repeat that to Agnes, and see what she says. You'll hear a
different story, I can tell you!"