Woman rules in the social sphere, and is responsible for its vices.
If women would expressly disapprove of wine-drinking, soon, among
the decent classes, it would become obsolete.
Clara P. came from Portsmouth to Boston about twenty years ago, to
seek her fortune as a teacher of the piano. Wholesome in person, and
interesting in manners, she not only won pupils, but social
recognition.
At a reception in Somerset St., she was asked to join in a glass of
wine. Hinting at a shadow in her family history, she quietly
declined, and fell into a sad, thoughtful mood.
A month later, at a similar gathering in the same house, she was
confidentially told by the lady of the house, that two gentlemen who
were present at the previous reception, had just requested her not
to offer wines, as Miss. P. was made unhappy by it. The wines were
not brought out, and no farther allusion was made to the subject. At
several other social gatherings, when Miss P. was present, the same
respectful deference was paid to her feelings; and yet this young
woman did not belong to the most influential class.
Mrs. F. was married two years, when rum turned her little quiet home
into a hell. Broken-hearted and sick, she left her baby son with her
sister, and came to Boston to rest her aching head and sore heart,
and to earn a living. She advertised for a place as housekeeper, and
had several interviews with ladies and gentlemen who were in pursuit
of a housekeeper. She told her story to each one in turn, and was
quickly dropped by one and another, until her last dollar had been
paid for bread and shelter; and then came a manly man who was
touched by her sad recital, and said at once:
"Come, work and rest with us."
He took her to a beautiful house in Mt. Vernon St. and left her in
charge of a fashionable, helpless family. Mrs. F. soon established
herself in the confidence of the household. In a few days there came
a party, and the housekeeper was busy enough. Among other duties was
the delivery to the waiters of bottles of wine. Mrs. F. called the
gentleman of the house, and said:
"You have been very kind to me, and I will do anything for you, but
I hope you will excuse me from this; my hands refuse." The Colonel
called one of the colored boys, and gave him the key of the wine-
cellar, and the entertainment went on as usual. Up stairs the
housekeeper's notion was mentioned, and one of the young men cried
out:
"Come gentlemen, fill up, fill up; here's to the health of the brave
housekeeper, and long may she wave."
The lady of the house thought it very queer, and next day sought an
explanation. It was, after some reluctance, given with tears and
passionate ejaculations. The lady thought there might be danger;
indeed her husband and oldest son had of late seemed too fond of
wine. Several conversations followed between the two mothers, and
the lady, just previous to the next social gathering, said to her
husband at the breakfast table, in the presence of her sons:
"What do you say to having no wine tonight? That story of Mrs. F.'s
has really frightened me?"
"Now," said the husband, "don't _you_ go to preaching temperance;
it's enough to have one woman in the house teaching morals."
"But," said the anxious wife and mother, "I was not preaching; I was
just asking what you thought of it; and if you were willing, I had
made up my mind to turn over a new leaf in our receptions."
_Husband_,--"Well, then I shall go in for abandoning coffee and tea.
I think they do a great deal more harm than wine!"
_Herbert_,--"Yes, and how it would sound with all our fellows here,
to tell them with solemn faces, that we were afraid they would all
become drunkards, and so we must deny them. Oh, pshaw! I should
never hear the last of it."
_Mother_,--"I can only say that when they were here last, several of
them, including my own dear Herbert, drank too much."
_Herbert_,--"I think we had better turn it into a prayer-meeting at
once."
_Father_,--"Oh well, mother, let us eat our breakfast in peace. We
will speak of it some other time."
During the day the two mothers held a long conversation, in which
Mrs. F described the beautiful, fresh face and spirit of Charles,
before the dreadful thirst took possession of him, and the horrible,
brutal oaths and passion which followed.
The two sad ones closed their long conversation, as women are wont
to when in real trouble, by earnest, tearful prayer.
The lady of the house said to herself, "My husband is always
declaring that I am the queen of his castle; that he attends to
everything in his business outside, and never wants me to interfere;
but that he leaves everything at home to me,--that here I am
mistress of all. I wonder if this is so. God helping me, I will try
my authority, this very night."
John was ordered to bring round the carriage, and soon after, a lady
might have been seen down in Kilby St., in earnest conversation with
a certain well-known wine merchant; and just before dark, two men,
with a wagon at the back door, were very busy up in the rear of Mt.
Vernon St.
About eleven o'clock that evening, the Colonel rang the bell for
Richard, when the good wife interrupted him by saying:
"Gentlemen, will you not join me in a cup of coffee to-night,
instead of the wine?"
"Certainly, madam, most certainly! while we are your guests, we
place ourselves at your disposal!"
The bright urn was brought in, and placed upon the side-board, and
the waiters, who had received special instructions, acquitted
themselves with marked success.
If you could have placed your ear at a certain keyhole, after the
family had retired that night, you would have heard a very earnest
conversation.
A woman is heard to say, "But, husband, what do you mean, when you
say that I rule here, just as you rule in your business? Do you mean
to say that when I see my own darling son entering the path that
leads to a drunkard's grave in our own house, I have nothing to say
or do, but must wait for you to determine the details of our social
entertainments? What do I rule over in our home, if not over the
entertainment of our guests? What would you say if I were to go down
to your counting room to-morrow, and attempt to over-rule your
decisions? You are always saying that I am supreme here in our home,
and now when I alter a little the details of our social
entertainments, you say that I have assumed to determine what you
shall eat and drink, that you won't be henpecked, and that you won't
stand it, and all that sort of thing. Will you be kind enough to
tell me which portion of the housekeeping you intend to leave to me,
and exactly, in detail, what I may attend to here in our home,
without asking your permission. It's of no use for you to say that I
may attend to everything else but this one thing; God has given me a
yearning for our boy, and, if you will force me to say it, for my
own dear misguided husband, which forbids my abandonment of my
duties and rights in this matter. In the light of this poor woman's
dreadful history, God has shown me my duty, and, my dear husband, I
shall perform it in His fear. No more wine will be served in our
house, on any occasion, with my consent."
_Husband_,--"I will turn that meddlesome woman into the street to-
morrow morning before breakfast, bag and baggage!"
"You will do nothing of the kind, for I have determined to keep
her."
"Well, we'll see; I will hustle her off as soon as I am out of my
bed."
Of course she was not sent away; and when, a year after, that family
was earnestly pushing the interests of the cause of Temperance, the
Colonel went himself with Mrs. F., the housekeeper, to bring her
little son to the city, where in the beautiful home on Mt. Vernon
St. he soon became not only a pet, but, as usual, a king and tyrant.
These events occurred about twenty-seven years ago. To-day Herbert,
--the oldest son--and Mr. F., the housekeeper's husband, are partners
in one of the largest concerns in this city.
If women knew how complete is their dominion in the social sphere,
and would exercise their power, rum and tobacco would quickly
disappear from the better classes, throughout the civilized world.
An effort among a few young women in the neighborhood of this city,
induced more than fifty young men to abandon cigars. One young
fellow swore by all the gods that he would smoke as long as he
pleased, and so he did; but he did not _please_ to continue very
long after several of the young ladies had had interviews with him.
In Dixon, Ill., fifty good women called at every rum-hole in town.
There were forty nine of them. In each place they read a touching
"Appeal from the Women of Dixon to the Venders of Intoxicating
Drinks in Dixon," joined in a brief prayer, sang a verse, and went
on to the next "rum-hole." This they repeated every day for a week,
when there were no places left to visit.
The women of Battle Creek, Mich., tried the same thing. One hundred
of them went, without parade or notice, to all the "rum-holes" in
the city every day, till there was not one that dared open its
doors. I was there at the time, and could tell you thrilling stories
of the encounters of these noble, brave women with the venders of
what a clergyman--a friend of mine--calls "liquid hell-fire."
But I hasten on to give you a very interesting illustration of the
power of woman in the summary abatement of social nuisances.
Although in lecturing upon "Woman's Influence in the Cause of
Temperance," I have frequently given the facts entire, with the
names of the parties, it has occurred to me that in writing it out
for a book, it would be only just to avoid mentioning names, as many
members of the families involved, are now most respectable people,
and earnest advocates of Temperance.
Well, this is the story:--In a small factory village (say in
Pennsylvania) with a thousand inhabitants, there were five "rum-
holes." The men of the little community spent their time in the
drinking places, while their children earned the family bread by
long hours in the mills. The mothers were busy in caring for their
children and drunken husbands, and many of them strove to add to the
comforts of the family, by the use of the needle.
At length, on a Saturday night, several boys, coaxed by a scamp,
drank freely of whiskey, and were taken home helplessly intoxicated;
two of them came near dying. The good mothers were on fire. They had
long since abandoned all hope for their husbands, but they would
never, _never_ consent that their boys should become drunkards. By a
common impulse they gathered in the little church on the hill, and
held a meeting for prayer and weeping. After three hours of
passionate ejaculation, tears and heart-breaking agony, they
resolved as follows:
"We will make a banner with our own hands. On one side it shall bear
the figure of a child drinking from a bucket, that beverage, which
God has prepared for his creatures. On the other side we will work
this sentiment, 'Mothers will sacrifice all for their Children.'
When it is done, we will go to these men with our banner for the
rallying flag, pray with them, plead with them, and never give up
till they stop."
In two weeks they were ready, and eighty-four women (all mothers but
four) with their little silken banner at their head, marched down to
the first of the "rum-holes," and were met by the _landlord_
(curious misnomer) and told that they could pass on; that if they
came in there, they would be sorry for it, &c. They had had no
experience, did not know their power, were frightened, and hurried
on. The second _landlord_ was a younger man, not so hard, and said,
after looking over the company:
"Why, is it possible that all the good women in town are after me in
this way? Why, of course I will stop, if they all wish it; that is
to say, I will stop if the rest will."
"Mr. Warner, here is our paper; put down your name and say exactly
what you will do; we are here on no idle errand."
So he put down his name with the words:
"I will stop if the rest will."
"John Warner."
They went on to the next one, who kept a bowling and billiard saloon
as well as a drinking "hole," and laid their case before him.
He was a young man, and enjoyed a prodigious reputation as a "ladies
man," and of course put down his name under John Warner's, and was
careful to prefix the words,
"Ladies, I am your most obedient servant.