Everywhere, among all peoples, we find the spirit of aristocracy--
caste. The distinction between classes, in most countries, appears
in dress, intelligence and manners.
In the United States the distinctions are not thus marked.
In the cars, for example, you meet a gentleman, whose address and
conversation are very pleasing, and you are just in the act of
congratulating yourself upon the acquisition of a charming
acquaintance, when some one whispers in your ear the appalling fact
that he is nothing but a carpenter.
You meet a lady, exquisitely attired, with a beautiful face, sweet
manners, and brilliant conversation, and you wonder who she can be.
She must be the daughter of a leisurely, cultured banker; but, after
taking pains to ask the conductor, and several gentlemen in the car,
you are at last informed by the brakeman:--
"Why, darn it, she is that Lizzie Brown, the dress-maker."
The fact is, we cannot rely upon the European indications of high
and low classes, and so, in America, we have devised numerous
arbitrary, and often unreasonable and inconvenient habits, and
customs, which are learned and practised by "our set, you know," but
which are not generally caught up by the earnest, busy class.
One of these, which will serve for present illustration, is a rule
that you must, at table, put everything into your mouth with a fork.
In one of our most reputable monthlies, I read, a day or two since,
a chapter in a story, in which it was stated, as a shocking
exhibition of depraved vulgarity, that John Smith put his food into
his mouth with a knife,--the deplorable wretch!
Last summer, at a sea-side house, I was remarking to an intelligent
lady, in an after-dinner chat, that of all the gentlemen on the
ground, I was most interested in that tall, reserved, scholarly-
looking man.
She replied, with a toss of her head, "I can't bear him. Why, he
eats with his knife!"
Of course nobody supposes that for most sorts of food a fork is
better than a knife; but unless some tests of what is called
gentility can be maintained, you see we shouldn't know who's who and
what's what.
I learned somewhat early in life to use the fork almost exclusively;
but now that it is made a sign of gentility, I am learning to use
the knife.
I always enjoyed the anecdote of that "first gentleman of Europe," a
certain King of England, who, on a state occasion, invited to his
table a Scotch nobleman, with his two daughters. The nobleman was
one of the truest friends of the king, and the daughters were most
intelligent, worthy girls; but, living very much out of society,
they had not learned all the rules of table etiquette. So upon
sipping their coffee, and finding it too hot, they poured from the
cup into the saucer, and drank from the saucer. The king, who was at
the head of the table, heard a derisive laugh from some of the pets
of the court, and looking over where his Scotch friends sat, he saw
the occasion of it. Immediately he lifted his own cup, poured into
the saucer, and set the cup down on the table with a great noise,
whereupon the exquisites colored, and hushed.
Girls, I advise you to use the fork in eating such things as can be
eaten best with it, unless you wish to make issue with a false and
arbitrary test of gentility.
There are table habits, vital in their importance. I may here name
the practice of eating only simple food, with great deliberation,
maintaining, during the meal, your legitimate share in the
conversation, and constantly watching for opportunities to assist
those about you.