Well, on that day we turned a new leaf in our lives. Till then we
had been like people who live against their own will, without aim or
object. We had to get up in the morning, because we had gone to bed
the night before. We ate, because we were hungry. We went to our
drills, because we were ordered to go. And we went to sleep at
night, because we felt tired. All our existence seemed to be only
for the sake of discipline; and that discipline, again, seemed a
thing in itself. But the moment they told us of mobilization and
war, our riddle was solved. It suddenly became clear to us why we
had been caught and brought to where we were, and why we had been
suffering all the time. It looked as if year in, year out, we had
been walking in the darkness of some cave, and all of a sudden our
path became light. And we were happy.
I saw Jacob: he, too, looked happy, which had not been his way for
the last few years. From the moment he had received permission to
pray in Hebrew and observe the Sabbath, his mood had changed for the
worse: he looked as if he were "possessed." He complained that his
prayers were not so sweet to him any more as they had been before;
and the Sabbath rest was a real burden upon him. Then, his father
did not appear in his dreams any more. Besides, he confessed that
he forgot his prayers many a time, and was not very strict as to the
Sabbath. He feared his prayers were no longer acceptable in Heaven.
No, said he, that was not his destiny: the Jewishness of a
Cantonist lay only in suffering martyrdom. But with the news of the
coming war, a change came over him. He became gay as a child.
One morning, when we were assembled on the drill grounds before the
house of the sergeant, I was called into the house. "Hourvitz,"
said my good sergeant, turning to me, "three beautiful creatures ask
me not to send you to the fighting line but to appoint you to some
auxiliary company. Ask, and I shall do so."
"Sir," said I, "if this be your order, I have but to obey; but if my
wish counts for anything, I should prefer to stay with the colors
and go to the fighting line. Otherwise what was our preparation for
and our training of many years?"
A smile of satisfaction appeared on the face of the sergeant.
"And if you fall in battle?"
"I shall not fall, sir, before I make others fall."
"What makes you feel so sure of it?"
"I cannot tell, sir; but it is enough if I am sure of it."
"Well, I agree with you. Now let us hear what your fair advocates
have to say."
He opened the door of an adjoining room, and Anna, Marusya, and the
sergeant's wife appeared. Then a dispute began. They insisted on
their opinion, and I on mine.
"Let us count votes," said the sergeant. "I grant you two votes;
together with my own vote it makes three against tree."
Then I looked at Marusya. She thought a little, and added her vote
to mine. So the majority prevailed. When I went outside, Marusya
followed me, and handed me a small parcel. What I found there,
among other things, was a small Hebrew prayer book, which Marusya
must have gotten at Moshko's, and a small silver cross which she had
always worn around her neck. We looked at each other and kept
silent: was there anything to be said?
After she had walked away a few steps, she turned around, as if she
had forgotten something.
"And if you return . . .?"
"Then to you I return," was my answer. She went on, and I turned to
look back in her direction: she also looked back at me. Later I
turned again to look at her, and she, too, kept looking back, until
we lost sight of each other.
Before Anna could be dispossessed, Heaven wrought a miracle: Serge
Ivanovich was drafted into the army. He was attached to our
regiment, and we served in the same company. In the meantime Anna
remained in possession of the house.