Had Anna given me a piece of pork to eat that evening, I do not know
what I should have done.
That night I saw the old rabbi in my dream. He was standing before
me, with bowed head and tears dropping from his eyes. . . . .
I do not remember the way Marusya treated me at first. But I do
remember the look she gave me when I first entered her father's
house. There are trifling matters that one remembers forever. Hers
was a telltale look, wild and merry. It is hard to describe it in
words--as if she wanted to say, "Welcome, friend! You did well in
coming here. I need just you to pass my leisure hours with me!"
And she really needed someone like myself, for she never associated
with the children of the village. The beautiful lively girl used to
have her fits of the blues. Then it was impossible to look at her
face without pitying her. At such times her mother could not get a
word out of her, and the whole expression of her face was changed to
such an extent that she seemed to have aged suddenly. She would
look the very image of her mother then. And a peculiar expression
would steal over her face, which estranged her from other people,
and perhaps brought her nearer to me. During those fits of
despondency she was sure to follow me if I happened to leave the
room and go outside. She would join me and spend hour after hour in
childish prattle with me, and her merriment and wildness knew no
limits. Little by little I got used to her, and fell, in turn, a
longing for her company during my own fits of lonesomeness.
The day after I had witnessed Jacob's punishment I felt miserable.
I was restless and excitable, and did not know what to do with
myself. I thought my heart would burst within me. I asked myself
all kinds of questions: What am I doing here? What did I come here
for? What are all those people to me? As if I had come there only
the day before, and of my own free will. . . .
Marusya looked sharply at me. Very likely she recognized that
something was worrying me. I felt a desire to share my feelings
with her. I got up and walked out into the garden behind the house.
In a moment she followed me. I made a clean breast of it, and told
her all I had to witness the day before.
She listened, shivering, and asked in a tremulous voice:
"And what did they beat him for?"
"He said a Hebrew prayer, and refused to eat meat."
"And why did he refuse to eat meat?"
"It is forbidden."
"Forbidden? Why?"