Wall, Cicely and the boy staid till Tuesday night. Tuesday afternoon the
children wus all to home on a invitation. (I had a chicken-pie, and done
well by 'em.)
And nothin' to do but what Cicely and the boy must go home with 'em:
they jest think their eyes of Cicely. And I couldn't blame 'em for
wantin' her, though I hated to give her up.
She laid out to stay a few days, and then come back to our house for a
day or two, and then go on to her aunt Mary's. But, as it turned out,
the children urged her so, she stayed most two weeks.
And the very next day but one after Cicely went to the children's--And
don't it beat all how, if visitors get to comin', they'll keep a comin'?
jest as it is if you begin to have trials, you'll have lots of 'em, or
broken dishes, or any thing.
Wall, it wus the very next mornin' but one after Cicely had gone, and
my voice had actually begun to sound natural agin (the boy had kep' me
hoarse as a frog answerin' questions). I wus whitewashin' the kitchen,
havin' put it off while Cicely wus there; and there wus a man to work a
patchin' up the wall in one of the chambers,--and right there and then,
Elburtus Smith Gansey come. And truly, we found him as clever a critter
as ever walked the earth.
It wus jest before korkuss; and he wus kinder visatin' round amongst
his relations, and makin' himself agreable. He is my 5th cousin,--5th
or 6th. I can't reely tell which, and I don't know as I care much; for
I think, that, after you get by the 5th, it hain't much matter anyway. I
sort o' pile 'em all in promiscous. Jest as it is after anybody gets to
be 70 years old, it hain't much matter how much older they be: they are
what you may call old, anyway.
But I think, as I said prior and beforehand, that he wus a 5th. His
mother wus a Butrick, and her mother wus a Smith. So he come to make us
a visit, and sort o' ellectioneer round. He wanted to get put in county
judge; and so, the korkuss bein' held in Jonesville, I s'pose he thought
he'd come down, and endear himself to us, as they all do.
I am one that likes company first-rate, and I always try to do well by
'em; but I tell Josiah, that somehow city folks (Elburtus wus brought
up in a city) are a sort of a bother. They require so much, and give
you the feelin', that, when you are a doin' your very best for 'em, they
hain't satisfied. You see, some folks'es best hain't nigh so good as
other folks'es 3d or 4th.
But this feller--why! I liked him from the first minute I sot my eyes on
him. I hadn't seen him before sence I wus a child, and so didn't feel so
awful well acquainted with him; or, that is, I didn't, as it were, feel
intimate. You know, when you don't see anybody from the time you are
babies till you are married, and have lost a good many teeth, and
considerable hair, you can't feel over and above intimate with 'em at
first sight.
But I liked him, he wus so unassuming and friendly, and took every
thing so peaceable and pleasant. And he deserved better things than what
happened to him.
You see, I wus a cleanin' house when he come, cleanin' the kitchen at
that out-of-the-way time of year on account of Cicely's visit, and on
account of repairin' that had promised to be done by Josiah Allen, and
delayed from week to week, and month to month, as is the way with men.
But finally he had got it done, and I wus ready to the minute with my
brush and scourin'-cloth.
I wus a whitewashin' when he come, and my pail of whitewash wus hung
up over the kitchen-door; and I stood up on a table, a whitewashin' the
ceilin, when I heard a buggy drive up to the door, and stop. And I stood
still, and listened; and then I heard a awful katouse and rumpus, and
then I heard hollerin'; and then I heard Josiah's voice, and somebody
else's voice, a talkin' back and forth, sort o' quick and excited.
Now, some wimmen would have been skairt, and acted skairt; but I didn't.
I jest stood up on that table, cool and calm as a statue of Repose
sculped out of marble, and most as white (I wus all covered with
whitewash), with my brush held easy and firm in my right hand, and my
left ear a listenin'.
Pretty soon the door opened right by the side of the table, and in come
Josiah Allen and a strange man. He introduced him to me as Elburtus
Gansey, my 4th cousin; and I made a handsome curchy. I s'pose, bein' up
on the table, the curchy showed off to better advantage than it would if
I had been on the floor: it looked well. But I felt that I ort to shake
hands with him; and, as I went to step down into a chair to get down
(entirely unbeknown to me), my brush hit against that pail, and down
come that pail of whitewash right onto his back. (If it had been his
head, it would have broke it.)
[Illustration: EXCELLENT LIME.]
I felt as if I should sink. But he took it the best that ever wus. He
said, when Josiah and me wus a sweepin' him off, and a rubbin' him off
with wet towels, that “it wusn't no matter at all.” And he spoke up so
polite and courteous, that “it seemed to be first-rate whitewash: he
never see better, whiter lime in his life, than that seemed to be.”
And then he sort o' felt of it between his thumb and finger, and asked
Josiah “where did he get that lime, and if they had any more of it. He
didn't believe they could get such lime outside of Jonesville.” He acted
like a perfect gentleman.
And he told me, in that same polite, pleasant tone, how Josiah's old
sheep had knocked him over 3 times while he wus a comin' into the house.
He said, with that calm, gentle smile, “that no sooner would he get up,
than he would stand off a little, and then rush at him with his head
down, and push him right over.”
Says I, “It is a perfect shame and a disgrace,” says I. “And I have
told you, Josiah Allen, that some stranger would get killed by that old
creeter; and I should think you would get rid of it.”
“Wall, I lay out to, the first chance I get,” says he.
Elburtus said “it would almost seem to be a pity, it was so strong and
healthy a sheep.” He said he never met a sheep under any circumstances
that seemed to have a sounder, stronger constitution. He said of course
the sheep and he hadn't met under the pleasantest of circumstances, and
it wusn't over and above pleasant to be knocked down by it three or four
times; but he had found that he couldn't have every thing as he wanted
it in this world, and the only way to enjoy ourselves wus to take things
as they come.
Says I, “I s'pose that wus the way you took the sheep;” and he said, “It
was.”
And then he went on to say in that amiable way of hisen, “that it
probably made it a little harder for him jest at that time, as he
wus struck by lightnin' that mornin'.” (There had been a awful
thunder-storm.)
Says Josiah, all excitement, “Did it strike you sensible?”
Says I, “You mean senseless, Josiah Allen.”
“Wall, I said so, didn't I? Did it strike you senseless, Mr. Gansey?”
“No,” he said: it only stunted him. And then he went on a praisin' up
our Jonesville lightnin'. He said it wus about the cleanest, quickest
lightnin' he ever see. He said he believed we had the smartest lightnin'
in our county that you could find in the nation.
So good he acted about every thing. It beat all. Why, he hadn't been in
the house half an hour when he offered to help me whitewash. I told him
I wouldn't let him, for it would spile his clothes, and he hadn't ever
been there a visitin' before, and I didn't want to put him to work.
But he hung on, and nothin' to do but what he had got to take hold and
whitewash. And I had to give up and let him; for I thought it wus better
manners to put a visiter to work, than it wus to dispute and quarrel
with 'em: and, of course, he wasn't used to it, and he filled one eye
most full of lime. It wus dretful painful, dretful.
But I swabbed it out with viniger, and it got easier about the middle of
the afternoon. It bein' work that he never done before, the whitewashin'
looked like fury; but I done it all over after him, and so I got along
with it, though it belated me. But his offerin' to do it showed his good
will, anyway.
I shouldn't have done any more at all after Elburtus had come, only I
had got into the job, and had to finish it; for I always think it is
better manners, when visitors come unexpected, and ketch you in some
mean job, to go on and finish it as quick as you can, ruther than to set
down in the dirt, and let them, ditto, and the same.
And Josiah was ketched jest as I wus, for he had a piece of winter wheat
that wus spilin' to be cut; and he had got the most of it down, and had
to finish it: it wus lodged so he had to cut it by hand,--the machine
wouldn't work on it. And jest as quick as Elburtus had got so he could
see out of that eye, nothin' to do but what he had got to go out and
help Josiah cut that wheat. He hadn't touched a scythe for years and
years, and it wasn't ten minutes before his hands wus blistered on the
inside. But he would keep at it till the blisters broke, and then he had
to stop anyway.
He got along quite well after that: only the lot where Josiah wus to
work run along by old Bobbet'ses, and he had carried a jug of sweetened
water and viniger and ginger out into the lot, and Elburtus had talked
so polite and cordial to him, a conversin' on politics, that he got
attached to him, and treated him to the sweetened water.
[Illustration: ELBURTUS ENDEARIN' HIMSELF TO MR. BOBBET.]
And Elburtus, not wantin' to hurt his feelin's, drinked about 3 quarts.
It made him deathly sick, for it went aginst his stomach from the first:
he never loved it. And Miss Bobbet duz fix it dretful sickish,--sweetens
it with sale mollasses for one thing.
Oh, how sick that feller wus when he come in to supper! had to lay right
down on the lounge.
Says I, “Elburtus, what made you drink it, when it went aginst your
stomach?” says I.
“Why,” says he in a faint voice, and pale round his lips as any thing,
“I didn't want to hurt his feelin's by refusin'.”
Says I, out to one side, “Did you ever, Josiah Allen, see such goodness
in your life?”
“I never see such dumb foolishness,” says he. “I'd love to have
anybody ketch me a drinkin' three or four quarts of such stuff out of
politeness.”
“No,” says I coldly: “you hain't good enough.”
Wall, that night his bed got a fire. It seemed as if every thing under
the sun wus a goin' to happen to that man while he wus here. You see,
the house wus all tore up a repairing and I had to put him up-stairs:
and the bed had been moved out by carpenters, to plaster a spot behind
the bed; and, unbeknown to me, they had set it too near the stove-pipe.
And the hot pipe run right up by the side of it, right by the
bed-clothes. It took fire from the piller-case.
We smelt a dretful smudge, and Josiah run right up-stairs: it had only
jest ketched a fire, and Elburtus was sound asleep; and Josiah, the
minute he see what wus the matter, he jest ketched up the water-pitcher,
and throwed the water over him; and bein' skairt and tremblin', the
pitcher flew out of his hand, and went too, and hit Elburtus on the end
of his nose, and took a piece of skin right off.
He waked up sudden; and there he wus, all drownded out, and a piece gone
off of his nose.
Now, most any other man would have acted mad. Josiah would have acted
mad as a mad dog, and madder. But you ort to see how good Elburtus took
it, jest as quick as he got his senses back. Josiah said he could almost
take his oath that he swore out as cross a oath as he ever heard swore
the first minute before he got his eyes opened, but I believe he wus
mistaken. But anyway, the minute his senses come back, and he see where
he wuz, you ort to see how he behaved. Never, never did I hear of such
manners in all my born days! Josiah told me all about it.
There Elburtus stood, with his nose a bleedin', and his whiskers singed,
and a drippin' like a mushrat. But, instead of jawin' or complainin',
the first thing he said wuz, “What a splendid draft our stove must have,
or else the stove-pipe wouldn't be so hot!” (I had done some cookin'
late in the evenin', and left a fire in the stove.)
And he said our stove-wood must be of the very best quality; and he
asked Josiah where he got it, and if he had to pay any thing extra for
that kind. He said he'd give any thing if he could get holt of a cord of
such wood as that!
Josiah said he felt fairly stunted to see such manners; and he went
to apologisin' about how awful bad it was for him to get his whiskers
singed so, and how it wus a pure axident his lettin' the pitcher slip
out of his hand, and he wouldn't have done it for nothin' if he could
have helped it, and he wus afraid it had hurt him more than he thought
for.
And such manners as that clever critter showed then! He said he was a
calculatin' to get his whiskers cut that very day, and it was all for
the best; he persumed they wus singed off in jest the shape he wanted
'em: and as for his nose, he wus always ashamed of it; it wus always too
long, and he should be glad if there wus a piece gone off of it: Josiah
had done him a favor to help him get rid of a piece of it.
Why, when Josiah told it all over to me after he come down, I told him
“I believed sunthin' would happen to that man before long. I believed he
wus too good for earth.”
Josiah can't bear to hear me praise up any mortal man only himself, and
he muttered sunthin' about “he bet he wouldn't be so tarnel good after
'lection.”
But I wouldn't hear 110 such talk; and says I,--
“If there wus ever a saint on earth, it is Elburtus Smith Gansey;” and
says I, “If you try to vote for anybody else, I'll know the reason why.”
“Wall, wall! who said I wus a goin' to? I shall probable vote in the
family; but he hain't no more saint than I be.”
I gin him a witherin' look; but, as it wus dark as pitch in the room,
he didn't act withered any. And I spoke out agin, and says I, in a low,
deep voice,--
“If it wus one of the relations on your side, Josiah Allen, you would
say he acted dretful good.”
And he says, “There is such a thing, Samantha, as bein' _too_ good--too
_dumb_ good.”
I didn't multiply any more words with him, and we went to sleep.
Wall, that is jest the way that feller acted for the next five days.
Why, the neighbors all got to lovin' him so, why, they jest about
worshipped him. And Josiah said that there wuzn't no use a talkin',
Elburtus would get the nomination unanimous; for everybody that had
seen him appear (and he had been all over the town appearing to 'em, and
endearin' himself to 'em, cleer out beyond Jonesville as far as Spoon
Settlement and Loontown), why, they jest thought their eyes of him, he
wus so thoughtful and urbane and helpful. Why, there hain't no tellin'
how much helpfuler he wuz than common folks, and urbaner.
Why, Josiah and me drove into Jonesville one day towards night; and
Elburtus had been there all day. Josiah had some cross-gut saws that he
wanted to get filed, and had happened to mention it before Elburtus; and
nothin' to do but he must go and carry 'em to the man in Jonesville that
wus goin' to do it, and help him file 'em. Josiah told him we wus goin'
over towards night with the team, and could carry 'em as well as not;
and he hadn't better try to help, filin' saws wus such a sort of a
raspin' undertakin'. But Elburtus said “he should probably go through
more raspin' jobs before he died, or got the nomination; and Josiah
could have 'em to bring home that night.” So he sot out with 'em walkin'
a foot.
[Illustration: ELBERTUS APPEARIN']
Wall, when we drove in, I see Elburtus a liftin' and a luggin', a
loadin' a big barrell into a double wagon for a farmer; and I says,--
“What under the sun is Elburtus Gansey a doin'?”
And Josiah says, in a gay tone,--
“He is a electionerin', Samantha: see him sweat,” says he. “Salt is
heavy, and political life is wearin', when anybody goes into it deep,
and tackles it in the way Elburtus tackles it.”
He seemed to think it wus a joke; but I says,--
“He is jest a killin' himself, Josiah Allen; and you would set here, and
see him.”
“I hain't a runnin',” says he in a calm tone.
“No,” says I: “you wouldn't run a step to help anybody. And see there,”
says I. “How good, how good that man is!”
Elburtus had finished loadin' the salt, and now he wus a holdin' the
horses for the man to load some spring-beds. And the horses wus skairt
by 'em, and wuz jest a liftin' Elburtus right up offen his feet. Why,
they pranced, and tore, and lifted him up, and switched him round, and
then they'd set him down with a crash, and whinner.
But that man smiled all the time, and took off his hat, and bowed to me:
we went by when he wus a swingin' right up in the air. I never see the
beat of his goodness. Why, we found out afterwards, that, besides filin'
them saws, he had loaded seven barrells of salt that day, besides other
heavy truck. That night he wus perfectly beat out--but good.
Josiah said that Philander Dagget'ses wive's brother wouldn't have no
chance at all. He wanted the nomination awful, and Philander had been
a workin' for him all he could; and if Elburtus hadn't come down to
Jonesville, and showed off such a beautiful demeanor and actions, why,
we all thought that Philander's wive's brother would have got it. And I
couldn't help feelin' kind o' sorry for him, though highly tickled for
Elburtus. We both of us, Josiah and me, felt very pleased and extremely
tickled to think that Elburtus wus so sure of it; for there wus a good
deal of money in the office, besides honor, sights of honor.
Wall, when the mornin' of town-meetin' came, that critter wus so awful
clever that nothin' to do but what he must help Josiah do the chores.
And amongst other chores Josiah had to do that mornin', wus to carry
home a plow that belonged to old Dagget. And old Dagget wanted Josiah,
when he had got through with it, to carry it to his son Philander's: and
Philander had left word that he wanted it that mornin'; and he wanted it
carried down to his lower barn, that stood in a meadow a mile away from
any house. Philander'ses land run in such a way that he had to build it
there to store his fodder.
Wall, time run along, and it got time to start for town-meetin', and
Elburtus couldn't be found. I hollered to him from the back stoop, and
Josiah went out to the barn and hollered; but nothin' could be seen of
him. And Josiah got all ready, and waited, and waited; and I told him
that Elburtus had probable got in such a hurry to get there, that he
had started on a foot, and he had better drive on, and he would
overtake him. So finally he did; and he drove along clear to Jonesville,
expectin' to overtake him every minute, and didn't. And the hull day
passed off, and no Elburtus. And nobody had seen him. And everybody
thought it looked so curius in him, a disapearin' as he did, when they
all knew that he had come down to our part of the county a purpose
to get the nomination. Why, his disapearin' as he did looked so awful
strange, that they didn't know what to make of it.
[Illustration: ELBURTUS HOLDING THE HORSES.]
And the opposition side, Philander Daggets'es wive's brother's friends,
started the story that he wus arrested for stealin' a sheep, and wus
dragged off to jail that mornin'.
Of course Josiah tried to dispute it; but, as he wus as much in the dark
as any of 'em as to where he wuz, his disputin' of it didn't amount to
any thing. And then, Josiah's feelin' so strange about Elburtus made his
eyes look kinder glassy and strange when they wus talkin' to him about
it; and they got up the story, so I hearn, that Josiah helped him off
with the sheep, and wus feelin' like death to have him found out.
And the friends of Philander Daggets'es wive's brother had it all their
own way, and he wus elected almost unanimous. Wall, Josiah come home
early, he wus so worried about Elburtus. He thought mebby he had come
back home after he had got away, and wus took sick sudden. And his first
words to me wuz,--
“Where is Elburtus? Have you seen Elburtus?”
And then wus my time to be smit and horrow-struck. And the more we got
to thinkin' about it, the more wonderful did it seem to us, that
that man had dissapeared right in broad daylight, jest as sudden and
mysterious as if the ground had opened, and swallowed him down, or as if
he had spread a pair of wings, and flown up into the sky.
Not that I really thought he had. I couldn't hardly associate the idee
of heaven and endless repose with a short frock-coat and boots, and
a blue necktie and a stiff shirt-collar. But, oh! how strange and
mysterious it did seem to be! We talked it over and over, and we could
not think of any thing that could happen to him. He knew enough to keep
out of the creek; and there wasn't no woods nigh where he could get
lost, and he wus too old to be stole. And so we thought and thought, and
racked our 2 brains.
And finally I says, “Wall! it hain't happened for several thousand
years, but I don't know what to think. We read of folks bein' translated
up to heaven when they get too good for earth, and you know I have told
you several times that he wus too clever for earth. I have thought he
wus not of the earth, earthy.”
“And I have thought,” says he, sort o' snappish, “that he wus of
politics, politicky.”
Says I, “Josiah Allen, I should be afraid, if I wus in your place, to
talk in that way in such a time as this,” says I. “I have felt, when I
see his actions when he wus knocked over by that sheep, and covered with
lime, and sot fire to, I have felt as if we wus entertainin' a angel
unawares.”
“Yes,” says he, “it _wuz unawares_, entirely _unawares_ to me.”
His axent wus dry, dry as chaff, and as full of ironry as a oven-door or
flat-iron.
“Wall,” says I, “mebby you will see the time, before the sun rises on
your bald head again, that you will be sorry for such talk.” Says I, “If
it wus one of the relation on your side, mebby you would talk different
about him.” That touched him; and he snapped out,--
“What do you s'pose I care which side he wus on? And I should think it
wus time to have a little sunthin' to eat: it must be three o'clock if
it is a minute.”
Says I, “Can you eat, Josiah Allen, in such a time as this?”
“I could if I could _get_ any thing to eat,” says he; “but there don't
seem to be much prospect of it.”
Says I, “The best thing you can do, Josiah Allen, is to foller his
tracks. The ground is kinder soft and spongy, and you can do it,” says
I. “Where did he go to last from here?”
“Down to Philander Daggets'es, to carry home his plow.”
“That angel man!” says I.
“That angel fool!” says Josiah. “Who asked him to go?”
Says I, “When a man gets too good for earth, there is other ways to
translate him besides chariots of fire. Who knows but what he has fell
down in a fit! And do you go this minute, Josiah Allen, and foller his
tracks!”
“I sha'n't foller nobody's tracks, Samantha Allen, till I have sunthin'
to eat.”
I knew there wuzn't no use of reasonin' no further with him then; for
when he said Samantha Allen in that axent, I knew he wus as sot as a
hemlock post, and as hard to move as one. And so my common sense bein'
so firm and solid, even in such a time as this, I reasoned it right out,
he wouldn't stir till he had sunthin' to eat, and so the sooner I got
his supper, the sooner he would go and foller Elburtus'es tracks. So I
didn't spend no more strength a arguin', but kep' it to hurry up; and
my reason is such, strong and vigorous and fur-seein', that I knew the
better supper he had, the more animated would be his search. So I got a
splendid supper, but quick.
[Illustration: HUNTING FOR ELBURTUS.]
But, oh! all the time I wus a gettin' it, this solemn and awful question
wus a hantin' me,--What had become of Elburtus Smith Gansey? What had
become of the relation on my side? Oh, the feelin's I felt! Oh, the
emotions I carried round with me, from buttery to teakettle, and from
teapot to table!
But finally, after eatin' longer than it seemed to me he ever eat before
(such wus my feelin's), Josiah started off acrost the lot, towards
Daggets'es barn. And I stood in the west door, with my hand over my
eyes, a watchin' him most every minute he wus gone. And when that man
come back, he come a laughin'. And I wus that madded, to have him look
in that sort of a scorfin' way, that I wouldn't say a word to him; and
he come into the house a laughin', and sot down and crossed his legs a
laughin', and says he,--
“What do you s'pose has become of the relation on your side?” And says
he, snickerin' agin,--
“You wus in the right on it, Samantha,--he did asscend: he went up!” And
agin he snickered loud. And says I coldly, cold as ice almost,--
“If I wuzn't a perfect luny, or idiot, I'd talk as if I knew sunthin'.
You know I said that, as one who allegores. If you have found Elburtus
Gansey, I'd say so, and done with it.”
“Wall,” says he, “you _wuz_ in the right of it, and that is what tickles
me. He got locked up in Dagget's barn. He asscended, jest as I told you.
He went up the ladder over the hay, to throw down fodder, and got locked
up _axidental_.” And, as he said “axidental,” he snickered worse than
ever.
And I says, “It is a mean, miserable, good for nothin', low-lived
caper! And Philander Dagget done it a purpose to keep Elburtus from the
town-meetin', so his wive's brother would get the election. And, if
I wus Elburtus Gansey, I'd sue him, and serve a summons on him, and
prosicute him.”
“Why,” says Josiah, in the same hilarious axent, and the same scorfin'
look onto him, “Philander says he never felt so worked up about any
thing in his life, as he did when he unlocked the barn-door to-night,
and found Elburtus there. He said he felt as if he should sink, for
he wus so afraid that some evil-minded person might say he done it a
purpose. And he said what made him feel the worst about it wuz to think
that he should have shut him up axidental when he wus a helpin' so
good.”
Says I, “The mean, impudent creeter! As good as Elburtus wuz!”
“Wall,” says Josiah, “you know what I told you,--there is such a thing
as bein' _too_ good.”
I wouldn't multiply no more words on the subject, I wus that wrought up
and excited and mad; and I wouldn't give in a mite to Josiah Allen, and
wouldn't want it repeated now so he could hear it, but I do s'pose that
wus the great trouble with Elburtus,--he wus a leetle _too_ good.
And, come to think it over, I don't s'pose Philander had laid any plot
to keep him away from 'lection; but he is a great case for fun, and he
had laughed and tickled about Elburtus bein' so polite and helpful, and
had made a good deel of fun of him. And then, he thinks a awful sight of
his wive's brother, and wanted him to get the election.
And I s'pose the idee come to him after Elburtus had got down to the
barn where he wus a fodderin' his sheep.
You see, if Elburtus had let well enough alone, and not been _too_ good,
every thing would have gone off right then, but he wouldn't. Nothin' to
do but he must help Philander get down his fodder. And I s'pose then
the idee come to him that he would shet him up, and keep him there till
after 'lection wus over. For I don't believe a word about its bein' a
axident. And I don't believe Josiah duz, though he pretends he duz. But
every time he says that word “axident,” he will laugh out so sort o'
aggravatin'. That is what mads me to this day.
But, as Josiah says, who would have thought that Elburtus would have
offered to carry that plow home, and throw down the fodder?
But, at any rate, Philander turned the key on him while he wus up
over-head, and locked him in there for the day. A meaner, low-liveder,
miserabler caper, I never see nor heard of.
But the way Philander gets out of it (he is a natural liar, and has had
constant practice), he don't deny lockin' the door, but he says he wus
to work on the outside of the barn, and he s'posed Elburtus had gone
out, and gone home; and he locked the door, and went away.
He says (the mean, sneakin', hippocritical creeter!) that he feels like
death about it, to think it happened so, and on that day too. And he
says what makes him feel the meanest is, to think it was his wive's
brother that wus up on the other side, and got the nomination. He says
it leaves room for talk.
And there it is. You can't sue a man for lockin' his own barn-door. And
Elburtus wouldn't want it brought into court, anyway; for folks would
be a wonderin' so what under the sun he wus a prowlin' round for up
overhead in Philander Daggets'es barn.
So he wus obliged to let the subject drop, and Philander has it all his
own way. And they say his wive's brother give him ten silver dollars
for his help. And that is pretty good pay for turnin' one lock, about 2
seconts' work.
Wall, anyway, that wus the last thing that happened to Elburtus in
Jonesville; and whether he took it polite and easy, or not, I don't
know. For that night, when Philander went down to the barn to fodder,
jest before Josiah went there, and let him out (and acted perfectly
suprised and horrified at findin' him there, Philander did, so I have
been told), Elburtus started a bee-line for the depo, and never come
back here at all; and he left a good new handkerchief, and a shirt, and
3 paper collars.
And whether he has kep' on a sufferin', or not, I don't know. Mebby he
had his trials in one batch, as you may say, and is now havin' a spell
of enjoyments. I am sure, I hope so; for a cleverer, good-natureder,
polite-appearin'er creeter, _I_ never see, nor don't expect to see agin
in my life; and so I tell Josiah.