OF THE AUPARISHTAKA[39] OR MOUTH CONGRESS.
There are two kinds of eunuchs, those that are disguised as males, and
those that are disguised as females. Eunuchs disguised as females
imitate their dress, speech, gestures, tenderness, timidity, simplicity,
softness and bashfulness. The acts that are done on the jaghana or
middle parts of women, are done in the mouths of these eunuchs, and this
is called Auparishtaka. These eunuchs derive their imaginable pleasure,
and their livelihood from this kind of congress, and they lead the life
of courtezans. So much concerning eunuchs disguised as females.
Eunuchs disguised as males keep their desires secret, and when they wish
to do anything they lead the life of shampooers. Under the pretence of
shampooing, an eunuch of this kind embraces and draws towards himself
the thighs of the man whom he is shampooing, and after this he touches
the joints of his thighs and his jaghana, or central portions of his
body. Then, if he finds the lingam of the man erect, he presses it with
his hands, and chaffs him for getting into that state. If after this,
and after knowing his intention, the man does not tell the eunuch to
proceed, then the latter does it of his own accord and begins the
congress. If however he is ordered by the man to do it, then he disputes
with him, and only consents at last with difficulty.
The following eight things are then done by the eunuch one after the
other, viz.
The nominal congress.
Biting the sides.
Pressing outside.
Pressing inside.
Kissing.
Rubbing.
Sucking a mangoe fruit.
Swallowing up.
At the end of each of these the eunuch expresses his wish to stop, but
when one of them is finished, the man desires him to do another, and
after that is done, then the one that follows it, and so on.
(1). When, holding the man's lingam with his hand, and placing it
between his lips, the eunuch moves about his mouth, it is called the
"nominal congress."
(2). When, covering the end of the lingam with his fingers collected
together like the bud of a plant or flower, the eunuch presses the sides
of it with his lips, using his teeth also, it is called "biting the
sides."
(3). When, being desired to proceed, the eunuch presses the end of the
lingam with his lips closed together, and kisses it as if he were
drawing it out, it is called the "outside pressing."
(4). When, being asked to go on, he put the lingam further into his
mouth, and presses it with his lips and then takes it out, it is called
the "inside pressing."
(5). When, holding the lingam in his hand, the eunuch kisses it as if he
were kissing the lower lip, it is called "kissing."
(6). When, after kissing it, he touches it with his tongue everywhere,
and passes the tongue over the end of it, it is called "rubbing."
(7). When, in the same way, he puts the half of it into his mouth, and
forcibly kisses and sucks it, this is called "sucking a mangoe fruit."
(8). And lastly, when, with the consent of the man, the eunuch puts the
whole lingam into his mouth, and presses it to the very end, as if he
were going to swallow it up, it is called "swallowing up."
Striking, scratching, and other things may also be done during this kind
of congress.
The Auparishtaka is practised only by unchaste and wanton women, female
attendants and serving maids, _i.e._, those who are not married to
anybody, but who live by shampooing.
The Acharyas (_i.e._, ancient and venerable authors) are of opinion that
this Auparishtaka is the work of a dog and not of a man, because it is a
low practice, and opposed to the orders of the Holy Writ, and because
the man himself suffers by bringing his lingam into contact with the
mouths of eunuchs and women. But Vatsyayana says that the orders of the
Holy Writ do not affect those who resort to courtezans, and the law
prohibits the practice of the Auparishtaka with married women only. As
regards the injury to the male, that can be easily remedied.
The people of Eastern India do not resort to women who practise the
Auparishtaka.
The people of Ahichhatra resort to such women, but do nothing with them,
so far as the mouth is concerned.
The people of Saketa do with these women every kind of mouth congress,
while the people of Nagara do not practise this, but do every other
thing.
The people of the Shurasena country, on the southern bank of the Jumna,
do everything without any hesitation, for they say that women being
naturally unclean, no one can be certain about their character, their
purity, their conduct, their practices, their confidences, or their
speech. They are not however on this account to be abandoned, because
religious law, on the authority of which they are reckoned pure, lays
down that the udder of a cow is clean at the time of milking, though the
mouth of a cow, and also the mouth of her calf, are considered unclean
by the Hindoos. Again a dog is clean when he seizes a deer in hunting,
though food touched by a dog is otherwise considered very unclean. A
bird is clean when it causes a fruit to fall from a tree by pecking at
it, though things eaten by crows and other birds are considered unclean.
And the mouth of a woman is clean for kissing and such like things at
the time of sexual intercourse. Vatsyayana moreover thinks that in all
these things connected with love, everybody should act according to the
custom of his country, and his own inclination.
There are also the following verses on the subject.
"The male servants of some men carry on the mouth congress with their
masters. It is also practised by some citizens, who know each other
well, among themselves. Some women of the harem, when they are amorous,
do the acts of the mouth on the yonis of one another, and some men do
the same thing with women. The way of doing this (_i.e._, of kissing the
yoni) should be known from kissing the mouth. When a man and woman lie
down in an inverted order, _i.e._, with the head of the one towards the
feet of the other and carry on this congress, it is called the "congress
of a crow."
For the sake of such things courtezans abandon men possessed of good
qualities, liberal and clever, and become attached to low persons, such
as slaves and elephant drivers. The Auparishtaka, or mouth congress,
should never be done by a learned Brahman, by a minister that carries on
the business of a state, or by a man of good reputation, because though
the practice is allowed by the Shastras, there is no reason why it
should be carried on, and need only be practised in particular cases. As
for instance, the taste, and the strength, and the digestive qualities
of the flesh of dogs are mentioned in works on medicine, but it does not
therefore follow that it should be eaten by the wise. In the same way
there are some men, some places and some times, with respect to which
these practices can be made use of. A man should therefore pay regard to
the place, to the time, and to the practice which is to be carried out,
as also as to whether it is agreeable to his nature and to himself, and
then he may or may not practise these things according to circumstances.
But after all, these things being done secretly, and the mind of the man
being fickle, how can it be known what any person will do at any
particular time and for any particular purpose.
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 39: This practice appears to have been prevalent in some parts
of India from a very ancient time. The "Shushruta," a work on medicine
some two thousand years old, describes the wounding of the lingam with
the teeth as one of the causes of a disease treated upon in that work.
Traces of the practice are found as far back as the eighth century, for
various kinds of the Auparishtaka are represented in the sculptures of
many Shaiva temples at Bhuvaneshwara, near Cuttack, in Orissa, and which
were built about that period. From these sculptures being found in such
places, it would seem that this practice was popular in that part of the
country at that time. It does not seem to be so prevalent now in
Hindustan, its place perhaps is filled up by the practice of sodomy,
introduced since the Mahomedan period.]
CHAPTER X.
OF THE WAY HOW TO BEGIN AND HOW TO END THE CONGRESS.
DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONGRESS AND LOVE QUARRELS.
In the pleasure-room, decorated with flowers, and fragrant with
perfumes, attended by his friends and servants, the citizen should
receive the woman, who will come bathed and dressed, and will invite her
to take refreshment and to drink freely. He should then seat her on his
left side, and holding her hair, and touching also the end and knot of
her garment, he should gently embrace her with his right arm. They
should then carry on an amusing conversation on various subjects, and
may also talk suggestively of things which would be considered as
coarse, or not to be mentioned generally in society. They may then sing,
either with or without gesticulations, and play on musical instruments,
talk about the arts, and persuade each other to drink. At last when the
woman is overcome with love and desire, the citizen should dismiss the
people that may be with him, giving them flowers, ointment, and betel
leaves, and then when the two are left alone, they should proceed as has
been already described in the previous chapters.
Such is the beginning of sexual union. At the end of the congress, the
lovers with modesty, and not looking at each other, should go separately
to the washing-room. After this, sitting in their own places, they
should eat some betel leaves, and the citizen should apply with his own
hand to the body of the woman some pure sandal wood ointment, or
ointment of some other kind. He should then embrace her with his left
arm, and with agreeable words should cause her to drink from a cup held
in his own hand, or he may give her water to drink. They can then eat
sweetmeats, or anything else, according to their likings, and may drink
fresh juice,[40] soup, gruel, extracts of meat, sherbet, the juice of
mangoe fruits, the extract of the juice of the citron tree mixed with
sugar, or anything that may be liked in different countries, and known
to be sweet, soft, and pure. The lovers may also sit on the terrace of
the palace or house, and enjoy the moonlight, and carry on an agreeable
conversation. At this time, too, while the woman lies in his lap, with
her face towards the moon, the citizen should show her the different
planets, the morning star, the polar star, and the seven Rishis, or
Great Bear.
This is the end of sexual union.
Congress is of the following kinds, viz.:
Loving congress.
Congress of subsequent love.
Congress of artificial love.
Congress of transferred love.
Congress like that of eunuchs.
Deceitful congress.
Congress of spontaneous love.
(1). When a man and a woman, who have been in love with each other for
some time, come together with great difficulty, or when one of the two
returns from a journey, or is reconciled after having been separated on
account of a quarrel, then congress is called the "loving congress." It
is carried on according to the liking of the lovers, and as long as they
choose.
(2). When two persons come together, while their love for each other is
still in its infancy, their congress is called the "congress of
subsequent love."
(3). When a man carries on the congress by exciting himself by means of
the sixty-four ways, such as kissing, etc., etc., or when a man and a
woman come together, though in reality they are both attached to
different persons, their congress is then called "congress of artificial
love." At this time all the ways and means mentioned in the Kama Shastra
should be used.
(4). When a man, from the beginning to the end of the congress, though
having connection with the women, thinks all the time that he is
enjoying another one whom he loves, it is called the "congress of
transferred love."
(5). Congress between a man and a female water carrier, or a female
servant of a caste lower than his own, lasting only until the desire is
satisfied, is called "congress like that of eunuchs." Here external
touches, kisses, and manipulations are not to be employed.
(6). The congress between a courtezan and a rustic, and that between
citizens and the women of villages, and bordering countries, is called,
"deceitful congress."
(7). The congress that takes place between two persons who are attached
to one another, and which is done according to their own liking is
called "spontaneous congress."
Thus ends the kinds of congress.
We shall now speak of love quarrels.
A woman who is very much in love with a man cannot bear to hear the name
of her rival mentioned, or to have any conversation regarding her, or to
be addressed by her name through mistake. If such takes place, a great
quarrel arises, and the woman cries, becomes angry, tosses her hair
about, strikes her lover, falls from her bed or seat, and, casting aside
her garlands and ornaments, throws herself down on the ground.
At this time, the lover should attempt to reconcile her with
conciliatory words, and should take her up carefully and place her on
her bed. But she, not replying to his questions, and with increased
anger, should bend down his head by pulling his hair, and having kicked
him once, twice, or thrice on his arms, head, bosom or back, should then
proceed to the door of the room. Dattaka says that she should then sit
angrily near the door and shed tears, but should not go out, because she
would be found fault with for going away. After a time, when she thinks
that the conciliatory words and actions of her lover have reached their
utmost, she should then embrace him, talking to him with harsh and
reproachful words, but at the same time showing a loving desire for
congress.
When the woman is in her own house, and has quarrelled with her lover,
she should go to him and show how angry she is, and leave him.
Afterwards the citizen having sent the Vita,[41] the Vidushaka[41] or
the Pithamurda[41] to pacify her, she should accompany them back to the
house, and spend the night with her lover.
Thus end the love quarrels.
In conclusion.
A man, employing the sixty-four means mentioned by Babhravya, obtains
his object, and enjoys the woman of the first quality. Though he may
speak well on other subjects, if he does not know the sixty-four
divisions, no great respect is paid to him in the assembly of the
learned. A man, devoid of other knowledge, but well acquainted with the
sixty-four divisions, becomes a leader in any society of men and women.
What man will not respect the sixty-four parts,[42] considering they are
respected by the learned, by the cunning, and by the courtezans. As the
sixty-four parts are respected, are charming, and add to the talent of
women, they are called by the Acharyas dear to women. A man skilled in
the sixty-four parts is looked upon with love by his own wife, by the
wives of others, and by courtezans.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 40: The fresh juice of the cocoa nut tree, the date tree, and
other kinds of palm trees are drunk in India. It will not keep fresh
very long, but ferments rapidly, and is then distilled into liquor.]
[Footnote 41: The characteristics of these three individuals have been
given in Part I. page 31.]
[Footnote 42: A definition of the sixty-four parts, or divisions, is
given in Chapter II., page 45.]
=END OF PART II.=
PART III.
ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE.
CHAPTER I.
ON MARRIAGE.
When a girl of the same caste, and a virgin, is married in accordance
with the precepts of Holy Writ, the results of such an union are: the
acquisition of Dharma and Artha, offspring, affinity, increase of
friends, and untarnished love. For this reason a man should fix his
affections upon a girl who is of good family, whose parents are alive,
and who is three years or more younger than himself. She should be born
of a highly respectable family, possessed of wealth, well connected, and
with many relations and friends. She should also be beautiful, of a good
disposition, with lucky marks on her body, and with good hair, nails,
teeth, ears, eyes, and breasts, neither more nor less than they ought to
be, and no one of them entirely wanting, and not troubled with a sickly
body. The man should, of course, also possess these qualities himself.
But at all events, says Ghotakamukha, a girl who has been already joined
with others (_i.e._, no longer a maiden) should never be loved, for it
would be reproachable to do such a thing.
Now in order to bring about a marriage with such a girl as described
above, the parents and relations of the man should exert themselves, as
also such friends on both sides as may be desired to assist in the
matter. These friends should bring to the notice of the girl's parents,
the faults, both present and future, of all the other men that may wish
to marry her, and should at the same time extol even to exaggeration
all the excellencies, ancestral, and paternal, of their friend, so as to
endear him to them, and particularly to those that may be liked by the
girl's mother. One of the friends should also disguise himself as an
astrologer and declare the future good fortune and wealth of his friend
by showing the existence of all the lucky omens[43] and signs,[44] the
good influence of planets, the auspicious entrance of the sun into a
sign of the Zodiac, propitious stars and fortunate marks on his body.
Others again should rouse the jealousy of the girl's mother by telling
her that their friend has a chance of getting from some other quarter
even a better girl than hers.
A girl should be taken as a wife, as also given in marriage, when
fortune, signs, omens, and the words[45] of others are favourable, for,
says Ghotakamukha, a man should not marry at any time he likes. A girl
who is asleep, crying, or gone out of the house when sought in marriage,
or who is betrothed to another, should not be married. The following
also should be avoided:
One who is kept concealed.
One who has an ill-sounding name.
One who has her nose depressed.
One who has her nostril turned up.
One who is formed like a male.
One who is bent down.
One who has crooked thighs.
One who has a projecting forehead.
One who has a bald head.
One who does not like purity.
One who has been polluted by another.
One who is afflicted with the Gulma.[46]
One who is disfigured in any way.
One who has fully arrived at puberty.
One who is a friend.
One who is a younger sister.
One who is a Varshakari.[47]
In the same way a girl who is called by the name of one of the
twenty-seven stars, or by the name of a tree, or of a river, is
considered worthless, as also a girl whose name ends in "r" or "l." But
some authors say that prosperity is gained only by marrying that girl to
whom one becomes attached, and that therefore no other girl but the one
who is loved should be married by anyone.
When a girl becomes marriageable her parents should dress her smartly,
and should place her where she can be easily seen by all. Every
afternoon, having dressed her and decorated her in a becoming manner,
they should send her with her female companions to sports, sacrifices,
and marriage ceremonies, and thus show her to advantage in society,
because she is a kind of merchandise. They should also receive with kind
words and signs of friendliness those of an auspicious appearance who
may come accompanied by their friends and relations for the purpose of
marrying their daughter, and under some pretext or other having first
dressed her becomingly, should then present her to them. After this they
should await the pleasure of fortune, and with this object should
appoint a future day on which a determination could be come to with
regard to their daughter's marriage. On this occasion when the persons
have come, the parents of the girl should ask them to bathe and dine,
and should say, "Everything will take place at the proper time," and
should not then comply with the request, but should settle the matter
later.
When a girl is thus acquired, either according to the custom of the
country, or according to his own desire, the man should marry her in
accordance with the precepts of the Holy Writ, according to one of the
four kinds of marriage.
Thus ends marriage.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:--
Amusement in society, such as completing verses begun by others,
marriages, and auspicious ceremonies should be carried on neither with
superiors, nor inferiors, but with our equals. That should be known as a
high connection when a man, after marrying a girl, has to serve her and
her relations afterwards like a servant, and such a connection is
censured by the good. On the other hand, that reproachable connection,
where a man, together with his relations, lords it over his wife, is
called a low connection by the wise. But when both the man and the woman
afford mutual pleasure to each other, and when the relatives on both
sides pay respect to one another, such is called a connection in the
proper sense of the word. Therefore a man should contract neither a high
connection by which he is obliged to bow down afterwards to his kinsmen,
nor a low connection, which is universally reprehended by all.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 43: The flight of a blue jay on a person's left side is
considered a lucky omen when one starts on any business; the appearance
of a cat before anyone at such a time is looked on as a bad omen. There
are many omens of the same kind.]
[Footnote 44: Such as the throbbing of the right eye of men and the left
eye of women, etc.]
[Footnote 45: Before anything is begun it is a custom to go early in the
morning to a neighbour's house, and overhear the first words that may be
spoken in his family, and according as the words heard are of good or
bad import, so draw an inference as to the success or failure of the
undertaking.]
[Footnote 46: A disease consisting of any glandular enlargement in any
part of the body.]
[Footnote 47: A woman, the palms of whose hands and the soles of whose
feet are always perspiring.]
CHAPTER II.
OF CREATING CONFIDENCE IN THE GIRL.
For the first three days after marriage, the girl and her husband should
sleep on the floor, abstain from sexual pleasures, and eat their food
without seasoning it either with alkali or salt. For the next seven days
they should bathe amidst the sounds of auspicious musical instruments,
should decorate themselves, dine together, and pay attention to their
relations as well as to those who may have come to witness their
marriage. This is applicable to persons of all castes. On the night of
the tenth day the man should begin in a lonely place with soft words,
and thus create confidence in the girl. Some authors say that for the
purpose of winning her over he should not speak to her for three days,
but the followers of Babhravya are of opinion that if the man does not
speak with her for three days, the girl may be discouraged by seeing him
spiritless like a pillar, and, becoming dejected, she may begin to
despise him as an eunuch. Vatsyayana says that the man should begin to
win her over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain at
first from sexual pleasures. Women being of a tender nature, want tender
beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they
are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of
sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex. The man
should therefore approach the girl according to her liking, and should
make use of those devices by which he may be able to establish himself
more and more into her confidence. These devices are as follows:--
He should embrace her first of all in a way she likes most, because it
does not last for a long time.
He should embrace her with the upper part of his body because that is
easier and simpler. If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known
her for some time, he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he
is not well acquainted with her, or if she is a young girl, he should
then embrace her in darkness.
When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a "tambula" or
screw of betel nut and betel leaves in her mouth, and if she will not
take it, he should induce her to do so by conciliatory words,
entreaties, oaths, and kneeling at her feet, for it is an universal rule
that however bashful or angry a woman may be, she never disregards a man
kneeling at her feet. At the time of giving this "tambula" he should
kiss her mouth softly and gracefully without making any sound. When she
is gained over in this respect he should then make her talk, and so that
she may be induced to talk he should ask her questions about things of
which he knows or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in
a few words. If she does not speak to him, he should not frighten her,
but should ask her the same thing again and again in a conciliatory
manner. If she does not then speak he should urge her to give a reply,
because as Ghotakamukha says, "all girls hear everything said to them by
men, but do not themselves sometimes say a single word." When she is
thus importuned, the girl should give replies by shakes of the head, but
if she quarrelled with the man she should not even do that. When she is
asked by the man whether she wishes for him, and whether she likes him,
she should remain silent for a long time, and when at last importuned to
reply, should give him a favourable answer by a nod of the head. If the
man is previously acquainted with the girl he should converse with her
by means of a female friend, who may be favourable to him, and in the
confidence of both, and carry on the conversation on both sides. On such
an occasion the girl should smile with her head bent down, and if the
female friend say more on her part than she was desired to do, she
should chide her and dispute with her. The female friend should say in
jest even what she is not desired to say by the girl, and add, "she says
so," on which the girl should say indistinctly and prettily, "O no! I
did not say so," and she should then smile and throw an occasional
glance towards the man.
If the girl is familiar with the man, she should place near him,
without saying anything, the tambula, the ointment, or the garland that
he may have asked for, or she may tie them up in his upper garment.
While she is engaged in this, the man should touch her young breasts in
the sounding way of pressing with the nails, and if she prevents him
doing this he should say to her, "I will not do it again if you will
embrace me," and should in this way cause her to embrace him. While he
is being embraced by her he should pass his hand repeatedly over and
about her body. By and bye he should place her in his lap, and try more
and more to gain her consent, and if she will not yield to him he should
frighten her by saying, "I shall impress marks of my teeth and nails on
your lips and breasts, and then make similar marks on my own body, and
shall tell my friends that you did them. What will you say then?" In
this and other ways, as fear and confidence are created in the minds of
children, so should the man gain her over to his wishes.
On the second and third nights, after her confidence has increased still
more, he should feel the whole of her body with his hands, and kiss her
all over; he should also place his hands upon her thighs and shampoo
them, and if he succeed in this he should then shampoo the joints of her
thighs. If she tries to prevent him doing this he should say to her,
"What harm is there in doing it?" and should persuade her to let him do
it. After gaining this point he should touch her private parts, should
loosen her girdle and the knot of her dress, and turning up her lower
garment should shampoo the joints of her naked thighs. Under various
pretences he should do all these things, but he should not at that time
begin actual congress. After this he should teach her the sixty-four
arts, should tell her how much he loves her, and describe to her the
hopes which he formerly entertained regarding her. He should also
promise to be faithful to her in future, and should dispel all her fears
with respect to rival women, and, at last, after having overcome her
bashfulness, he should begin to enjoy her in a way so as not to frighten
her. So much about creating confidence in the girl; and there are,
moreover, some verses on the subject as follows:--
A man acting according to the inclinations of a girl should try and gain
her over so that she may love him and place her confidence in him. A
man does not succeed either by implicitly following the inclination of a
girl, or by wholly opposing her, and he should therefore adopt a middle
course. He who knows how to make himself beloved by women, as well as to
increase their honour and create confidence in them, this man becomes an
object of their love. But he, who neglects a girl thinking she is too
bashful, is despised by her as a beast ignorant of the working of the
female mind. Moreover, a girl forcibly enjoyed by one who does not
understand the hearts of girls becomes nervous, uneasy, and dejected,
and suddenly begins to hate the man who has taken advantage of her; and
then, when her love is not understood or returned, she sinks into
despondency, and becomes either a hater of mankind altogether, or,
hating her own man, she has recourse to other men.[48]
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 48: These last few lines have been exemplified in many ways in
many novels of this century.]
CHAPTER III.
ON COURTSHIP, AND THE MANIFESTATION OF THE FEELINGS BY OUTWARD SIGNS AND
DEEDS.
A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family
possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth, and
one under the control of his father, mother or brothers, should not
marry without endeavouring to gain over the girl from her childhood to
love and esteem them. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living
in the house of his uncle, should try to gain over the daughter of his
uncle, or some other girl, even though she be previously betrothed to
another. And this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is
unexceptional, because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it, as
well as by any other way of marriage.
When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his
time with her and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for
their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers,
making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious
family, cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of
odd and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game of six
pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in the country, and
agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should
carry on various amusing games played by several persons together, such
as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several small
heaps of wheat and looking for them, blind-man's buff, gymnastic
exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl,
her friends and female attendants. The man should also show great
kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should
also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself
by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for
if she be gained over, even though she comes to know of his design, she
does not cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect an
union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true character
of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the
parents and relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to
do so by him.
In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in,
and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess.
Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to
other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and
other curiosities of the same sort; and should give her dolls made of
cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, ivory, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils
for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing,
a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo,
or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos,
starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different
sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars,
stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow
ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandal-wood, saffron,
betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different
times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some of
them should be given in private, and some in public, according to
circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look
upon him as one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be
done.
In the next place he should get her to meet him in some place privately,
and should then tell her that the reason of his giving presents to her
in secret was the fear that the parents of both of them might be
displeased, and then he may add that the things which he had given her
had been much desired by other people. When her love begins to show
signs of increasing he should relate to her agreeable stories if she
expresses a wish to hear such narratives. Or if she takes delight in
legerdemain, he should amaze her by performing various tricks of
jugglery; or if she feels a great curiosity to see a performance of the
various arts, he should show his own skill in them. When she is
delighted with singing he should entertain her with music, and on
certain days, and at the time of going together to moonlight fairs and
festivals, and at the time of her return after being absent from home,
he should present her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for
the head, and with ear ornaments and rings, for these are the proper
occasions on which such things should be presented.
He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all the sixty-four
means of pleasure practised by men, and under this pretext should also
inform her of his great skill in the art of sexual enjoyment. All this
time he should wear a fine dress, and make as good an appearance as
possible, for young women love men who live with them, and who are
handsome, good looking and well dressed. As for the saying that though
women may fall in love, they still make no effort themselves to gain
over the object of their affections, that is only a matter of idle talk.
Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions, such as
the following:--She never looks the man in the face, and becomes abashed
when she is looked at by him; under some pretext or other she shows her
limbs to him; she looks secretly at him though he has gone away from her
side; hangs down her head when she is asked some question by him, and
answers in indistinct words and unfinished sentences, delights to be in
his company for a long time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone
with the hope of attracting his attention towards her when she is at a
distance from him, does not wish to go from the place where he is, under
some pretext or other she makes him look at different things, narrates
to him tales and stories very slowly so that she may continue conversing
with him for a long time, kisses and embraces before him a child sitting
in her lap, draws ornamental marks on the foreheads of her female
servants, performs sportive and graceful movements when her attendants
speak jestingly to her in the presence of her lover, confides in her
lover's friends, and respects and obeys them, shows kindness to his
servants, converses with them, and engages them to do her work as if she
were their mistress, and listens attentively to them when they tell
stories about her lover to somebody else, enters his house when induced
to do so by the daughter of her nurse, and by her assistance manages to
converse and play with him, avoids being seen by her lover when she is
not dressed and decorated, gives him by the hand of her female friend
her ear ornament, ring, or garland of flowers that he may have asked to
see, always wears anything that he may have presented to her, become
dejected when any other bridegroom is mentioned by her parents, and does
not mix with those who may be of her party, or who may support his
claims.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:--
A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl towards him,
and who has noticed the outward signs and movements by which those
feelings are expressed, should do everything in his power to effect an
union with her. He should gain over a young girl by childlike sports, a
damsel come of age by his skill in the arts, and a girl that loves him
by having recourse to persons in whom she confides.
CHAPTER IV.
ABOUT THINGS TO BE DONE ONLY BY THE MAN, AND THE ACQUISITION OF THE GIRL
THEREBY. ALSO WHAT IS TO BE DONE BY A GIRL TO GAIN OVER A MAN, AND
SUBJECT HIM TO HER.
Now when the girl begins to show her love by outward signs and motions,
as described in the last chapter, the lover should try to gain her over
entirely by various ways and means, such as the following:--
When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally hold
her hand. He should practise upon her the various kinds of embraces,
such as the touching embrace, and others already described in a
preceeding chapter (Part II. Chapter 2). He should show her a pair of
human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree, and such like things, at
intervals. When engaged in water sports, he should dive at a distance
from her, and come up close to her. He should show an increased liking
for the new foliage of trees and such like things. He should describe to
her the pangs he suffers on her account. He should relate to her the
beautiful dream that he has had with reference to other women. At
parties and assemblies of his caste he should sit near her, and touch
her under some pretence or other, and having placed his foot upon her's,
he should slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the
nails; if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his
hand and repeat the same thing. He should also press a finger of her
hand between his toes when she happens to be washing his feet; and
whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything from her, he should
show her by his manner and look how much he loves her.
He should sprinkle upon her the water brought for rinsing his mouth; and
when alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness, he should make
love to her, and tell her the true state of his mind without distressing
her in any way.
Whenever he sits with her on the same seat or bed he should say to her,
"I have something to tell you in private," and then, when she comes to
hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love to her more by
manner and signs than by words. When he comes to know the state of her
feelings towards him he should pretend to be ill, and should make her
come to his house to speak to him. There he should intentionally hold
her hand and place it on his eyes and forehead, and under the pretence
of preparing some medicine for him he should ask her to do work for his
sake in the following words: "This work must be done by you, and by
nobody else." When she wants to go away he should let her go, with an
earnest request to come and see him again. This device of illness should
be continued for three days and three nights. After this, when she
begins coming to see him frequently, he should carry on long
conversations with her, for, says Ghotakamukha, "though a man loves a
girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal
of talking." At last, when the man finds the girl completely gained
over, he may then begin to enjoy her. As for the saying that women grow
less timid than usual during the evening, and in darkness, and are
desirous of congress at those times, and do not oppose men then and
should only be enjoyed at these hours, it is a matter of talk only.
When it is impossible for the man to carry on his endeavours alone, he
should, by means of the daughter of her nurse, or of a female friend in
whom she confides, cause the girl to be brought to him without making
known to her his design, and he should then proceed with her in the
manner above described. Or he should in the beginning send his own
female servant to live with the girl as her friend, and should then gain
her over by her means.
At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward manner
and conduct towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage ceremonies,
fairs, festivals, theatres, public assemblies, and such like occasions,
he should begin to enjoy her when she is alone, for Vatsyayana lays it
down, that women, when resorted to at proper times and in proper
places, do not turn away from their lovers.
When a girl, possessed of good qualities and well-bred, though born in a
humble family, or destitute of wealth, and not therefore desired by her
equals, or an orphan girl, or one deprived of her parents, but observing
the rules of her family and caste, should wish to bring about her own
marriage when she comes of age, such a girl should endeavour to gain
over a strong and good looking young man, or a person whom she thinks
would marry her on account of the weakness of his mind, and even without
the consent of his parents. She should do this by such means as would
endear her to the said person, as well as by frequently seeing and
meeting him. Her mother also should constantly cause them to meet by
means of her female friends, and the daughter of her nurse. The girl
herself should try to get alone with her beloved in some quiet place,
and at odd times should give him flowers, betel nut, betel leaves and
perfumes. She should also show her skill in the practice of the arts, in
shampooing, in scratching and in pressing with the nails. She should
also talk to him on the subjects he likes best, and discuss with him the
ways and means of gaining over and winning the affections of a girl.
But old authors say that although the girl loves the man ever so much,
she should not offer herself, or make the first overtures, for a girl
who does this loses her dignity, and is liable to be scorned and
rejected. But when the man shows his wish to enjoy her, she should be
favourable to him and should show no change in her demeanour when he
embraces her, and should receive all the manifestations of his love as
if she were ignorant of the state of his mind. But when he tries to kiss
her she should oppose him; when he begs to be allowed to have sexual
intercourse with her she should let him touch her private parts only and
with considerable difficulty; and though importuned by him, she should
not yield herself up to him as if of her own accord, but should resists
his attempts to have her. It is only, moreover, when she is certain that
she is truly loved, and that her lover is indeed devoted to her, and
will not change his mind, that she should then give herself up to him,
and persuade him to marry her quickly. After losing her virginity she
should tell her confidential friends about it.
Here ends the efforts of a girl to gain over a man.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows: A girl who is much
sought after should marry the man that she likes, and whom she thinks
would be obedient to her, and capable of giving her pleasure. But when
from the desire of wealth a girl is married by her parents to a rich man
without taking into consideration the character or looks of the
bridegroom, or when given to a man who has several wives, she never
becomes attached to the man, even though he be endowed with good
qualities, obedient to her will, active, strong, and healthy, and
anxious to please her in every way.[49] A husband who is obedient but
yet master of himself, though he be poor and not good looking, is better
than one who is common to many women, even though he be handsome and
attractive. The wives of rich men, where there are many wives, are not
generally attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with
them, and even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life,
still have recourse to other men. A man who is of a low mind, who has
fallen from his social position, and who is much given to travelling,
does not deserve to be married; neither does one who has many wives and
children, or one who is devoted to sport and gambling, and who comes to
his wife only when he likes. Of all the lovers of a girl he only is her
true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by her, and such
a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the
husband of love.
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 49: There is a good deal of truth in the last few
observations. Woman is a monogamous animal, and loves but one, and likes
to feel herself alone in the affections of one man, and cannot bear
rivals. It may also be taken as a general rule that women either married
to, or kept by, rich men love them for their wealth, but not for
themselves.]
CHAPTER V.
ON CERTAIN FORMS OF MARRIAGE[50]
When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send
the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has
confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests.
On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of
conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the
beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature and affection of the
girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she has been sent by
the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of
the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities
of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing
to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other
lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their
parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote
samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others,
who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their
own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. And she should
also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being
troubled by rival wives, became wretched and miserable, and were finally
abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual
happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the
girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame[51]
and her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might
result from the marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a
female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for
her, the places he frequented, and the endeavours he made to meet her,
and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take
you away forcibly and unexpectedly."
_The Forms of Marriage._
When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife,
he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and
having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation
to the fire he should marry her according to the precepts of the
religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact,
because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly
contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.
After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should
gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the
girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent
to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about,
and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by
affectionate presents and favourable conduct. In this manner the man
should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.
When the girl cannot make up her mind, or will not express her readiness
to marry, the man should obtain her in any one of the following ways:--
(1). On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should by means of
a female friend with whom he is well acquainted, and whom he can trust,
and who also is well known to the girl's family, get the girl brought
unexpectedly to his house, and he should then bring fire from the house
of a Brahman, and proceed as before described.
(2.) When the marriage of the girl with some other person draws near,
the man should disparage the future husband to the utmost in the mind of
the mother of the girl, and then having got the girl to come with her
mother's consent to a neighbouring house, he should bring fire from the
house of a Brahman, and proceed as above.
(3.) The man should become a great friend of the brother of the girl,
the said brother being of the same age as himself, and addicted to
courtesans, and to intrigues with the wives of other people, and should
give him assistance in such matters, and also give him occasional
presents. He should then tell him about his great love for his sister,
as young men will sacrifice even their lives for the sake of those who
may be of the same age, habits, and dispositions as themselves. After
this the man should get the girl brought by means of her brother to some
secure place, and having brought fire from the house of a Brahman,
should proceed as before.
(4.) The man should on the occasion of festivals get the daughter of the
nurse to give the girl some intoxicating substance, and then cause her
to be brought to some secure place under the pretence of some business,
and there having enjoyed her before she recovers from her intoxication,
should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.
(5.) The man should, with the connivance of the daughter of the nurse,
carry off the girl from her house while she is asleep, and then, having
enjoyed her before she recovers from her sleep, should bring fire from
the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.
(6.) When the girl goes to a garden, or to some village in the
neighbourhood, the man should, with his friends, fall on her guards, and
having killed them, or frightened them away, forcibly carry her off, and
proceed as before.
There are verses on the subject as follows:--In all the forms of
marriage given in this chapter of this work, the one that precedes is
better than the one that follows it, on account of its being more in
accordance with the commands of religion, and therefore it is only when
it is impossible to carry the former into practice that the latter
should be resorted to. As the fruit of all good marriages is love, the
Gandharva[52] form of marriage is respected, even though it is formed
under unfavourable circumstances, because it fulfils the object sought
for. Another cause of the respect accorded to the Gandharva form of
marriage is, that it brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in its
performance than any other forms of marriage, and is above all the
result of previous love.
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 50: These forms of marriage differ from the four kinds of
marriage mentioned in Chapter I., and are only to be made use of when
the girl is gained over in the way mentioned in Chapters III. and IV.]
[Footnote 51: About this, see a story on the fatal effects of love at
page 114 of "Early Ideas; a Group of Hindoo Stories," collected and
collated by Anaryan. W. H. Allen and Co., London, 1881.]
[Footnote 52: About the Gandharvavivaha form of marriage, see note to
page 28 of Captain R. F. Burton's "Vickram and the Vampire; or Tales of
Hindu Devilry." Longman, Green & Co., London, 1870. This form of
matrimony was recognised by the ancient Hindus, and is frequent in
books. It is a kind of Scotch Wedding--ultra-Caledonian--taking place by
mutual consent without any form or ceremony. The Gandharvas are heavenly
minstrels of Indra's court, who are supposed to be witnesses.]
=END OF PART III.=
PART IV.
ABOUT A WIFE.
CHAPTER I.
ON THE MANNER OF LIVING OF A VIRTUOUS WOMAN, AND OF HER BEHAVIOUR DURING
THE ABSENCE OF HER HUSBAND.
A virtuous woman, who has affection for her husband, should act in
conformity with his wishes as if he were a divine being, and with his
consent should take upon herself the whole care of his family. She
should keep the whole house well cleaned, and arrange flowers of various
kinds in different parts of it, and make the floor smooth and polished
so as to give the whole a neat and becoming appearance. She should
surround the house with a garden, and place ready in it all the
materials required for the morning, noon and even sacrifices. Moreover
she should herself revere the sanctuary of the Household Gods, for says
Gonardiya, "nothing so much attracts the heart of a householder to his
wife as a careful observance of the things mentioned above."
Towards the parents, relations, friends, sisters, and servants of her
husband she should behave as they deserve. In the garden she should
plant beds of green vegetables, bunches of the sugar cane, and clumps of
the fig tree, the mustard plant, the parsley plant, the fennel plant,
and the xanthochymus pictorius. Clusters of various flowers, such as the
trapa bispinosa, the jasmine, the gasminum grandiflorum, the yellow
amaranth, the wild jasmine, the tabernamontana coronaria, the
nadyaworta, the china rose and others, should likewise be planted,
together with the fragrant grass andropogon schænanthus, and the
fragrant root of the plant andropogon miricatus. She should also have
seats and arbours made in the garden, in the middle of which a well,
tank, or pool should be dug.
The wife should always avoid the company of female beggars, female
buddish mendicants, unchaste and roguish women, female fortune tellers
and witches. As regards meals she should always consider what her
husband likes and dislikes, and what things are good for him, and what
are injurious to him. When she hears the sounds of his footsteps coming
home she should at once get up, and be ready to do whatever he may
command her, and either order her female servant to wash his feet, or
wash them herself. When going anywhere with her husband, she should put
on her ornaments, and without his consent she should not either give or
accept invitations, or attend marriages and sacrifices, or sit in the
company of female friends, or visit the temples of the Gods. And if she
wants to engage in any kind of games or sports, she should not do it
against his will. In the same way she should always sit down after him,
and get up before him, and should never awaken him when he is asleep.
The kitchen should be situated in a quiet and retired place, so as not
to be accessible to strangers, and should always look clean.
In the event of any misconduct on the part of her husband, she should
not blame him excessively though she be a little displeased. She should
not use abusive language towards him, but rebuke him with conciliatory
words, whether he be in the company of friends or alone. Moreover, she
should not be a scold, for says Gonardiya, "there is no cause of dislike
on the part of a husband so great as this characteristic in a wife."
Lastly she should avoid bad expressions, sulky looks, speaking aside,
standing in the doorway, and looking at passers-by, conversing in the
pleasure groves, and remaining in a lonely place for a long time; and
finally she should always keep her body, her teeth, her hair, and
everything belonging to her tidy, sweet, and clean.
When the wife wants to approach her husband in private her dress should
consist of many ornaments, various kinds of flowers, and a cloth
decorated with different colours, and some sweet-smelling ointments or
unguents. But her every-day dress should be composed of a thin,
close-textured cloth, a few ornaments and flowers, and a little scent,
not too much. She should also observe the fasts and vows of her husband,
and when he tries to prevent her doing this, she should persuade him to
let her do it.
At appropriate times of the year, and when they happen to be cheap, she
should buy earth, bamboos, firewood, skins, and iron pots, as also salt
and oil. Fragrant substances, vessels made of the fruit of the plant
wrightea antidysenterica, or oval leaved wrightea, medicines, and other
things which are always wanted, should be obtained when required and
kept in a secret place of the house. The seeds of the radish, the
potato, the common beet, the Indian wormwood, the mangoe, the cucumber,
the egg plant, the kushmanda, the pumpkin gourd, the surana, the
bignonia indica, the sandal wood, the premna spinosa, the garlic plant,
the onion, and other vegetables, should be bought and sown at the proper
seasons.
The wife, moreover, should not tell to strangers the amount of her
wealth, nor the secrets which her husband has confided to her. She
should surpass all the women of her own rank in life in her cleverness,
her appearance, her knowledge of cookery, her pride, and her manner of
serving her husband. The expenditure of the year should be regulated by
the profits. The milk that remains after the meals should be turned into
ghee or clarified butter. Oil and sugar should be prepared at home;
spinning and weaving should also be done there; and a store of ropes and
cords, and barks of trees for twisting into ropes should be kept. She
should also attend to the pounding and cleaning of rice, using its small
grain and chaff in some way or other. She should pay the salaries of the
servants, look after the tilling of the fields, and keeping of the
flocks and herds, superintend the making of vehicles, and take care of
the rams, cocks, quails, parrots, starlings, cuckoos, peacocks, monkeys,
and deer; and finally adjust the income and expenditure of the day. The
worn-out clothes should be given to those servants who have done good
work, in order to show them that their services have been appreciated,
or they may be applied to some other use. The vessels in which wine is
prepared, as well as those in which it is kept, should be carefully
looked after, and put away at the proper time. All sales and purchases
should also be well attended to. The friends of her husband she should
welcome by presenting them with flowers, ointment, incense, betel
leaves, and betel nut. Her father-in-law and mother-in law she should
treat as they deserve, always remaining dependant on their will, never
contradicting them, speaking to them in few and not harsh words, not
laughing loudly in their presence, and acting with their friends and
enemies as with her own. In addition to the above she should not be
vain, or too much taken up with her enjoyments. She should be liberal
towards her servants, and reward them on holidays and festivals; and not
give away anything without first making it known to her husband.
Thus ends the manner of living of a virtuous woman.
During the absence of her husband on a journey the virtuous woman should
wear only her auspicious ornaments, and observe the fasts in honour of
the Gods. While anxious to hear the news of her husband, she should
still look after her household affairs. She should sleep near the elder
women of the house, and make herself agreeable to them. She should look
after and keep in repair the things that are liked by her husband, and
continue the works that have been begun by him. To the abode of her
relations she should not go except on occasions of joy and sorrow, and
then she should go in her usual travelling dress, accompanied by her
husband's servants, and not remain there for a long time. The fasts and
feasts should be observed with the consent of the elders of the house.
The resources should be increased by making purchases and sales
according to the practice of the merchants, and by means of honest
servants, superintended by herself. The income should be increased, and
the expenditure diminished as much as possible. And when her husband
returns from his journey, she should receive him at first in her
ordinary clothes, so that he may know in what way she has lived during
his absence, and should bring to him some presents, as also materials
for the worship of the Deity.
Thus ends the part relating to the behaviour of a wife during the
absence of her husband on a journey.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows.
"The wife, whether she be a woman of noble family, or a virgin widow[53]
re-married, or a concubine, should lead a chaste life, devoted to her
husband, and doing every thing for his welfare. Women acting thus,
acquire Dharma, Artha, and Kama, obtain a high position, and generally
keep their husbands devoted to them."
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 53: This probably refers to a girl married in her infancy, or
when very young, and whose husband had died before she arrived at the
age of puberty. Infant marriages are still the common custom of the
Hindoos.]
CHAPTER II.
ON THE CONDUCT OF THE ELDER WIFE TOWARDS THE OTHER WIVES OF HER HUSBAND,
AND ON THAT OF A YOUNGER WIFE TOWARDS THE ELDER ONES. ALSO ON THE
CONDUCT OF A VIRGIN WIDOW RE-MARRIED; OF A WIFE DISLIKED BY HER HUSBAND;
OF THE WOMEN IN THE KING'S HAREM; AND LASTLY ON THE CONDUCT OF A HUSBAND
TOWARDS MANY WIVES.
The causes of re-marrying during the lifetime of the wife are as
follows:
(1). The folly or ill temper of the wife.
(2). Her husband's dislike to her.
(3). The want of offspring.
(4). The continual birth of daughters.
(5). The incontinence of the husband.
From the very beginning the wife should endeavour to attract the heart
of her husband, by showing to him continually her devotion, her good
temper, and her wisdom. If however she bears him no children, she should
herself tell her husband to marry another woman. And when the second
wife is married, and brought to the house, the first wife should give
her a position superior to her own, and look upon her as a sister. In
the morning the elder wife should forcibly make the younger one decorate
herself in the presence of their husband, and should not mind all the
husband's favour being given to her. If the younger wife does anything
to displease her husband the elder one should not neglect her, but
should always be ready to give her most careful advice, and should teach
her to do various things in the presence of her husband. Her children
she should treat as her own, her attendants she should look upon with
more regard, even than on her own servants, her friends she should
cherish with love and kindness, and her relations with great honour.
When there are many other wives besides herself, the elder wife should
associate with the one who is immediately next to her in rank and age,
and should instigate the wife who has recently enjoyed her husband's
favour to quarrel with the present favourite. After this she should
sympathize with the former, and having collected all the other wives
together, should get them to denounce the favourite as a scheming and
wicked woman, without however committing herself in any way. If the
favourite wife happens to quarrel with the husband, then the elder wife
should take her part and give her false encouragement, and thus cause
the quarrel to be increased. If there be only a little quarrel between
the two, the elder wife should do all she can to work it up into a large
quarrel. But if after all this she finds the husband still continues to
love his favourite wife she should then change her tactics, and
endeavour to bring about a conciliation between them, so as to avoid her
husband's displeasure.
Thus ends the conduct of the elder wife.
The younger wife should regard the elder wife of her husband as her
mother, and should not give anything away, even to her own relations,
without her knowledge. She should tell her everything about herself, and
not approach her husband without her permission. Whatever is told to her
by the elder wife she should not reveal to others, and she should take
care of the children of the senior even more than of her own. When alone
with her husband she should serve him well, but should not tell him of
the pain she suffers from the existence of a rival wife. She may also
obtain secretly from her husband some marks of his particular regard for
her, and may tell him that she lives only for him, and for the regard
that he has for her. She should never reveal her love for her husband,
nor her husband's love for her to any person, either in pride or in
anger, for a wife that reveals the secrets of her husband is despised by
him. As for seeking to obtain the regard of her husband, Gonardiya says,
that it should always be done in private, for fear of the elder wife. If
the elder wife be disliked by her husband, or be childless, she should
sympathize with her, and should ask her husband to do the same, but
should surpass her in leading the life of a chaste woman.
Thus ends the conduct of the younger wife towards the elder.
A widow in poor circumstances, or of a weak nature, and who allies
herself again to a man, is called a widow re-married.
The followers of Babhravya say that a virgin widow should not marry a
person whom she may be obliged to leave on account of his bad character,
or of his being destitute of the excellent qualities of a man, she thus
being obliged to have recourse to another person. Gonardya is of opinion
that as the cause of a widow's marrying again is her desire for
happiness, and as happiness is secured by the possession of excellent
qualities in her husband, joined to love of enjoyment, it is better
therefore to secure a person endowed with such qualities in the first
instance. Vatsyayana however thinks that a widow may marry any person
that she likes, and that she thinks will suit her.
At the time of her marriage the widow should obtain from her husband the
money to pay the cost of drinking parties, and picnics with her
relations, and of giving them and her friends kindly gifts and presents;
or she may do these things at her own cost if she likes. In the same way
she may wear either her husband's ornaments or her own. As to the
presents of affection mutually exchanged between the husband and herself
there is no fixed rule about them. If she leaves her husband after
marriage of her own accord, she should restore to him whatever he may
have given her, with the exception of the mutual presents. If however
she is driven out of the house by her husband she should not return
anything to him.
After her marriage she should live in the house of her husband like one
of the chief members of the family, but should treat the other ladies of
the family with kindness, the servants with generosity, and all the
friends of the house with familiarity and good temper. She should show
that she is better acquainted with the sixty-four arts than the other
ladies of the house, and in any quarrels with her husband she should not
rebuke him severely, but in private do everything that he wishes, and
make use of the sixty-four ways of enjoyment. She should be obliging to
the other wives of her husband, and to their children she should give
presents, behave as their mistress, and make ornaments and play things
for their use. In the friends and servants of her husband she should
confide more than in his other wives, and finally she should have a
liking for drinking parties, going to picnics, attending fairs and
festivals, and for carrying out all kinds of games and amusements.
Thus ends the conduct of a virgin widow re-married.
A woman who is disliked by her husband, and annoyed and distressed by
his other wives, should associate with the wife who is liked most by her
husband, and who serves him more than the others, and should teach her
all the arts with which she is acquainted. She should act as the nurse
of her husband's children, and having gained over his friends to her
side, should through them make him acquainted of her devotion to him. In
religious ceremonies she should be a leader, as also in vows and fasts,
and should not hold too good an opinion of herself. When her husband is
lying on his bed she should only go near him when it is agreeable to
him, and should never rebuke him, or show obstinacy in any way. If her
husband happens to quarrel with any of his other wives, she should
reconcile them to each other, and if he desires to see any woman
secretly, she should manage to bring about the meeting between them. She
should moreover make herself acquainted with the weak points of her
husband's character, but always keep them secret, and on the whole
behave herself in such an way as may lead him to look upon her as a good
and devoted wife.
Here ends the conduct of a wife disliked by her husband.
The above sections will show how all the women of the King's seraglio
are to behave, and therefore we shall now speak separately only about
the king.
The female attendants in the harem (called severally Kanchukiyas,[54]
Mahallarikas,[55] and Mahallikas,[56]) should bring flowers, ointments
and clothes from the King's wives to the King, and he having received
these things should give them as presents to the servants, along with
the things worn by him the previous day. In the afternoon the King,
having dressed and put on his ornaments, should interview the women of
the harem, who should also be dressed and decorated with jewels. Then
having given to each of them such a place and such respect as may suit
the occasion and as they may deserve, he should carry on with them a
cheerful conversation. After that he should see such of his wives as may
be virgin widows re-married, and after them the concubines and dancing
girls. All of these should be visited in their own private rooms.
When the King rises from his noonday sleep, the woman whose duty it is
to inform the King regarding the wife who is to spend the night with him
should come to him accompanied by the female attendants of that wife
whose turn may have arrived in the regular course, and of her who may
have been accidentally passed over as her turn arrived, and of her who
may have been unwell at the time of her turn. These attendants should
place before the King the ointments and unguents sent by each of these
wives, marked with the seal of her ring, and their names and their
reasons for sending the ointments should be told to the King. After this
the King accepts the ointment of one of them, who then is informed that
her ointment has been accepted, and that her day has been settled.[57]
At festivals, singing parties and exhibitions, all the wives of the King
should be treated with respect and served with drinks.
But the women of the harem should not be allowed to go out alone,
neither should any women outside the harem be allowed to enter it except
those whose character is well known. And lastly the work which the
King's wives have to do should not be too fatiguing.
Thus ends the conduct of the King towards the women of the harem, and of
their own conduct.
A man marrying many wives should act fairly towards them all. He should
neither disregard nor pass over their faults, and should not reveal to
one wife the love, passion, bodily blemishes, and confidential
reproaches of the other. No opportunity should be given to any one of
them of speaking to him about their rivals, and if one of them should
begin to speak ill of another, he should chide her and tell her that she
has exactly the same blemishes in her character. One of them he should
please by secret confidence, another by secret respect, and another by
secret flattery, and he should please them all by going to gardens, by
amusements, by presents, by honouring their relations, by telling them
secrets, and lastly by loving unions. A young woman who is of a good
temper, and who conducts herself according to the precepts of the Holy
Writ, wins her husband's attachment, and obtains a superiority over her
rivals.
Thus ends the conduct of a husband towards many wives.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 54: A name given to the maid servants of the zenana of the
Kings in ancient times, on account of their always keeping their breasts
covered with a cloth called Kanchuki. It was customary in the olden time
for the maid servants to cover their breasts with a cloth, while the
Queens kept their breasts uncovered. This custom is distinctly to be
seen in the Ajunta cave paintings.]
[Footnote 55: The meaning of this word is a superior woman, so it would
seem that a Mahallarika must be a person in authority over the maid
servants of the house.]
[Footnote 56: This was also appertaining to the rank of women employed
in the harem. In latter times this place was given to eunuchs.]
[Footnote 57: As Kings generally had many wives, it was usual for them
to enjoy their wives by turns. But as it happened sometimes that some of
them lost their turns owing to the King's absence, or to their being
unwell, then in such cases the women whose turns had been passed over,
and those whose turns had come, used to have a sort of lottery, and the
ointment of all the claimants were sent to the King, who accepted the
ointment of one of them, and thus settled the question.]
=END OF PART IV.=
PART V.
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN.
CHAPTER I.
OF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF MEN AND WOMEN.--THE REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT
THE ADDRESSES OF MEN.--ABOUT MEN WHO HAVE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN, AND ABOUT
WOMEN WHO ARE EASILY GAINED OVER.
The wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions already
described in Part I., Chapter 5, of this work, but the possibility of
their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation, the danger to oneself
in uniting with them, and the future effect of these unions, should
first of all be examined. A man may resort to the wife of another, for
the purpose of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for
her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These degrees are
ten in number, and are distinguished by the following marks:
1. Love of the eye.
2. Attachment of the mind.
3. Constant reflection.
4. Destruction of sleep.
5. Emaciation of the body.
6. Turning away from objects of enjoyment.
7. Removal of shame.
8. Madness.
9. Fainting.
10. Death.
Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition,
truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the intensity,
or weakness of her passions, from the form of her body, and from her
characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the
forms of bodies, and the characteristic marks or signs are but erring
tests of character, and that women should be judged by their conduct, by
the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the movements of their
bodies.
Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls in love with
every handsome man she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a
beautiful woman, but frequently they do not take any further steps,
owing to various considerations. In love the following circumstances are
peculiar to the woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong,[58]
and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of some
particular purpose. Moreover, when a man first makes up to her she
naturally shrinks from him, even though she may be willing to unite
herself with him. But when the attempts to gain her are repeated and
renewed, she at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have
begun to love, he conquers his feelings from a regard for morality and
wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does not
yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over. He sometimes
makes an attempt or effort to win the object of his affections, and
having failed, he leaves her alone for the future. In the same way, when
a woman is once gained, he often becomes indifferent about her. As for
the saying that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and only
desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty, it is only
a matter of talk.
The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:
1. Affection for her husband.
2. Desire of lawful progeny.
3. Want of opportunity.
4. Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly.
5. Difference in rank of life.
6. Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted to travelling.
7. Thinking that the man may be attached to some other person.
8. Fear of the man's not keeping his intentions secret.
9. Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too
great a regard for them.
10. The apprehension that he is not in earnest.
11. Bashfulness on account of his being an illustrious man.
12. Fear on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too impetuous
passion, in the case of the deer woman.
13. Bashfulness on account of his being too clever.
14. The thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms only.
15. Contempt of his want of knowledge of the world.
16. Distrust of his low character.
17. Disgust at his want of perception of her love for him.
18. In the case of an elephant woman, the thought that he is a hare man,
or a man of weak passion.
19. Compassion lest any thing should befall him on account of his
passion.
20. Despair at her own imperfections.
21. Fear of discovery.
22. Disillusion at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearance.
23. Fear that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastity.
24. The thought that he has too much regard for morality.
Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should endeavour to
remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the bashfulness that may arise
from his greatness or his ability, he should remove by showing his great
love and affection for her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity,
or if his inaccessibility, he should remove by showing her some easy way
of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman for him should
be removed by making himself very familiar. The difficulties that arise
from his being thought a low character he should remove by showing his
valour and his wisdom; those that come from neglect by extra attention;
and those that arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.
The following are the men who generally obtain success with women.
1. Men well versed in the science of love.
2. Men skilled in telling stories.
3. Men acquainted with women from their childhood.
4. Men who have secured their confidence.
5. Men who send presents to them.
6. Men who talk well.
7. Men who do things that they like.
8. Men who have not loved other women previously.
9. Men who act as messengers.
10. Men who knew their weak points.
11. Men who are desired by good women.
12. Men who are united with their female friends.
13. Men who are good looking.
14. Men who have been brought up with them.
15. Men who are their neighbours.
16. Men who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though these be their
own servants.
17. The lovers of the daughters of their nurse.
18. Men who have been lately married.
19. Men who like picnics and pleasure parties.
20. Men who are liberal.
21. Men who are celebrated for being very strong (Bull men).
22. Enterprising and brave men.
23. Men who surpass their husbands in learning and good looks, in good
quality, and in liberality.
24. Men whose dress and manner of living are magnificent.
The following are the women who are easily gained over.
1. Women who stand at the doors of their houses.
2. Women who are always looking out on the street.
3. Women who sit conversing in their neighbour's house.
4. A woman who is always staring at you.
5. A female messenger.
6. A woman who looks sideways at you.
7. A woman whose husband has taken another wife without any just cause.
8. A woman who hates her husband or who is hated by him.
9. A woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep her in check.
10. A woman who has not had any children.
11. A woman whose family or caste is not well known.
12. A woman whose children are dead.
13. A woman who is very fond of society.
14. A woman who is apparently very affectionate with her husband.
15. The wife of an actor.
16. A widow.
17. A poor woman.
18. A woman fond of enjoyments.
19. The wife of a man with many younger brothers.
20. A vain woman.
21. A woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank or abilities.
22. A woman who is proud of her skill in the arts.
23. A woman disturbed in mind by the folly of her husband.
24. A woman who has been married in her infancy to a rich man, and not
liking him when she grows up, desires a man possessing a disposition,
talents, and wisdom suitable to her own tastes.
25. A woman who is slighted by her husband without any cause.
26. A woman who is not respected by other women of the same rank or
beauty as herself.
27. A woman whose husband is devoted to travelling.
28. The wife of a jeweller.
29. A jealous woman.
30. A covetous woman.
31. An immoral woman.
32. A barren woman.
33. A lazy woman.
34. A cowardly woman.
35. A humpbacked woman.
36. A dwarfish woman.
37. A deformed woman.
38. A vulgar woman.
39. An ill-smelling woman.
40. A sick woman.
41. An old woman.
There was also two verses on the subject as follows:
"Desire, which springs from nature, and which is increased by art, and
from which all danger is taken away by wisdom, becomes firm and secure.
A clever man, depending on his own ability, and observing carefully the
ideas and thoughts of women, and removing the causes of their turning
away from men, is generally successful with them."
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 58: On peut tout attendre et tout supposer d'une femme
amoureuse.--Balzac.]
CHAPTER II.
ABOUT MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE WOMAN, AND OF THE EFFORTS TO GAIN HER
OVER.
Ancient authors are of opinion that girls are not so easily seduced by
employing female messengers as by the efforts of the man himself, but
that the wives of others are more easily got at by the aid of female
messengers than by the personal efforts of a man. But Vatsyayana lays it
down that whenever it is possible a man should always act himself in
these matters, and it is only when such is impracticable, or impossible,
that female messengers should be employed. As for the saying that women
who act and talk boldly and freely are to be won by the personal efforts
of the man, and that women who do not possess those qualities are to be
got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.
Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first of all make
the acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner.
1st. He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a natural or
special opportunity. A natural opportunity is when one of them goes to
the house of the other, and a special opportunity is when they meet
either at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or a
physician, as also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices,
festivals, funerals, and garden parties.
2nd. When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at her in such
a way as to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he
should pull about his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his
own ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other
signs of that description. When she is looking at him he should speak
to his friends about her and other women, and should show to her his
liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When sitting by the side
of a female friend he should yawn and twist his body, contract his
eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he were weary, and listen to her
indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be carried
on with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a
third person, but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in
this way his love should be made manifest under the pretext of referring
to others rather than to herself. He should make marks that have
reference to her, on the earth with his nails, or with a stick, and
should embrace and kiss a child in her presence, and give it the mixture
of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and press its chin with
his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the
proper time and in proper places.
3rd. The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her lap, and
give it something to play with, and also take the same back again.
Conversation with respect to the child may also be held with her, and in
this manner he should gradually become well acquainted with her, and he
should also make himself agreeable to her relations. Afterwards, this
acquaintance should be made a pretext for visiting her house frequently,
and on such occasions he should converse on the subject of love in her
absence, but within her hearing. As his intimacy with her increases he
should place in her charge some kind of deposit or trust, and take away
from it a small portion at a time; or he may give her some fragrant
substances, or betel nuts to be kept for him by her. After this he
should endeavour to make her well acquainted with his own wife, and get
them to carry on confidential conversations, and to sit together in
lonely places. In order to see her frequently he should arrange that the
same goldsmith, the same jeweller, the same basket maker, the same dyer,
and the same washerman should be employed by the two families. And he
should also pay her long visits openly under the pretence of being
engaged with her on business, and one business should lead to another,
so as to keep up the intercourse between them. Whenever she wants
anything, or is in need of money, or wishes to acquire skill in one of
the arts, he should cause her to understand that he is willing and able
to do anything that she wants, to give her money, or teach her one of
the arts, all these things being quite within his ability and power. In
the same way he should hold discussions with her in company with other
people, and they should talk of the doings and sayings of other persons,
and examine different things, like jewellery, precious stones, etc. On
such occasions he should show her certain things with the values of
which she may be unacquainted, and if she begins to dispute with him
about the things or their value, he should not contradict her, but point
out that he agrees with her in every way.
Thus ends the ways of making the acquaintance of the woman desired.
Now after a girl has become acquainted with the man as above described,
and has manifested her love to him by the various outward signs; and by
the motions of her body, the man should make every effort to gain her
over. But as girls are not acquainted with sexual union, they should be
treated with the greatest delicacy, and the man should proceed with
considerable caution, though in the case of other women, accustomed to
sexual intercourse, this is not necessary. When the intentions of the
girl are known, and her bashfulness put aside, the man should begin to
make use of her money, and an interchange of clothes, rings, and flowers
should be made. In this the man should take particular care that the
things given by him are handsome and valuable. He should moreover
receive from her a mixture of betel nut and betel leaves, and when he is
going to a party he should ask for the flower in her hair, or for the
flower in her hand. If he himself gives her a flower it should be a
sweet smelling one, and marked with marks made by his nails or teeth.
With increasing assiduity he should dispel her fears, and by degrees get
her to go with him to some lonely place, and there he should embrace and
kiss her. And finally at the time of giving her some betel nut, or of
receiving the same from her, or at the time of making an exchange of
flowers, he should touch and press her private parts, thus bringing his
efforts to a satisfactory conclusion.
When a man is endeavouring to seduce one woman, he should not attempt to
seduce any other at the same time. But after he had succeeded with the
first, and enjoyed her for a considerable time, he can keep her
affections by giving her presents that she likes, and then commence
making up to another woman. When a man sees the husband of a woman going
to some place near his house, he should not enjoy the woman then, even
though she may be easily gained over at that time. A wise man having a
regard for his reputation should not think of seducing a woman who is
apprehensive, timid, not to be trusted, well guarded, or possessed of a
father-in-law, or mother-in-law.
CHAPTER III.
EXAMINATION OF THE STATE OF A WOMAN'S MIND.
When a man is trying to gain over a woman he should examine the state of
her mind, and acts as follows.
If she listens to him, but does not manifest to him in any way her own
intentions, he should then try to gain her over by means of a
go-between.
If she meets him once, and again comes to meet him better dressed than
before, or comes to him in some lonely place, he should be certain that
she is capable of being enjoyed by the use of a little force. A woman
who lets a man make up to her, but does not give herself up, even after
a long time, should be considered as a trifler in love, but owing to the
fickleness of the human mind, even such a woman can be conquered by
always keeping up a close acquaintance with her.
When a woman avoids the attentions of a man, and on account of respect
for him, and pride in herself, will not meet him or approach him, she
can be gained over with difficulty, either by endeavouring to keep on
familiar terms with her, or else by an exceedingly clever go-between.
When a man makes up to a woman, and she reproaches him with harsh words,
she should be abandoned at once.
When a woman reproaches a man, but at the same time acts affectionately
towards him, she should be made love to in every way.
A woman who meets a man in lonely places, and puts up with the touch of
his foot, but pretends, on account of the indecision of her mind, not to
be aware of it, should be conquered by patience, and by continued
efforts as follows:
If she happens to go to sleep in his vicinity he should put his left arm
round her, and see when she awakes whether she repulses him in reality,
or only repulses him in such a way as if she were desirous of the same
thing being done to her again. And what is done by the arm can also be
done by the foot. If the man succeeds in this point he should embrace
her more closely, and if she will not stand the embrace and gets up, but
behaves with him as usual the next day, he should consider then that she
is not unwilling to be enjoyed by him. If however she does not appear
again, the man should try to get over her by means of a go-between; and
if, after having disappeared for some time she again appears, and
behaves with him as usual, the man should then consider that she would
not object to be united with him.
When a woman gives a man an opportunity, and makes her own love manifest
to him, he should proceed to enjoy her. And the signs of a woman
manifesting her love are these:
1. She calls out to a man without being addressed by him in the first
instance.
2. She shows herself to him in secret places.
3. She speaks to him tremblingly and inarticulately.
4. She has the fingers of her hand, and the toes of her feet moistened
with perspiration, and her face blooming with delight.
5. She occupies herself with shampooing his body and pressing his head.
6. When shampooing him she works with one hand only, and with the other
she touches and embraces parts of his body.
7. She remains with both hands placed on his body motionless as if she
had been surprised by something, or was overcome by fatigue.
8. She sometimes bends down her face upon his thighs, and when asked to
shampoo them does not manifest any unwillingness to do so.
9. She places one of her hands quite motionless on his body, and even
though the man should press it between two members of his body, she does
not remove it for a long time.
10. Lastly, when she has resisted all the efforts of the man to gain her
over, she returns to him next day to shampoo his body as before.
When a woman neither gives encouragement to a man, nor avoids him, but
hides herself and remains in some lonely place, she must be got at by
means of the female servant who may be near her. If when called by the
man she acts in the same way, then she should be gained over by means of
a skilful go-between. But if she will have nothing to say to the man, he
should consider well about her before he begins any further attempts to
gain her over.
Thus ends the examination of the state of a woman's mind.
A man should first get himself introduced to a woman, and then carry on
a conversation with her. He should give her hints of his love for her,
and if he finds from her replies that she receives these hints
favourably, he should then set to work to gain her over without any
fear. A woman who shows her love by outward signs to the man at his
first interview should be gained over very easily. In the same way a
lascivious woman, who when addressed in loving words replies openly in
words expressive of her love, should be considered to have been gained
over at that very moment. With regard to all women, whether they be
wise, simple, or confiding, this rule is laid down that those who make
an open manifestation of their love are easily gained over.
CHAPTER IV.
ABOUT THE BUSINESS OF A GO-BETWEEN.
If a woman has manifested her love or desire, either by signs or by
motions of her body, and is afterwards rarely or never seen any where,
or if a woman is met for the first time, the man should get a go-between
to approach her.
Now the go-between, having wheedled herself into the confidence of the
woman by acting according to her disposition, should try to make her
hate or despise her husband by holding artful conversations with her, by
telling her about medicines for getting children, by talking to her
about other people, by tales of various kinds, by stories about the
wives of other men, and by praising her beauty, wisdom, generosity, and
good nature, and then saying to her: "It is indeed a pity that you, who
are so excellent a woman in every way, should be possessed of a husband
of this kind. Beautiful lady, he is not fit even to serve you." The
go-between should further talk to the woman about the weakness of the
passion of her husband, his jealousy, his roguery, his ingratitude, his
aversion to enjoyments, his dullness, his meanness, and all the other
faults that he may have, and with which she may be acquainted. She
should particularly harp upon that fault or that failing by which the
wife may appear to be the most affected. If the wife be a deer woman,
and the husband a hare man, then there would be no fault in that
direction, but in the event of his being a hare man, and she a mare
woman or elephant woman, then this fault should be pointed out to her.
Gonikaputra is of opinion that when it is the first affair of the woman,
or when her love has only been very secretly shown, the man should then
secure and send to her a go-between, with whom she may be already
acquainted, and in whom she confides.
But to return to our subject. The go-between should tell the woman about
the obedience and love of the man, and as her confidence and affection
increase, she should then explain to her the thing to be accomplished in
the following way. "Hear this, Oh beautiful lady, that this man, born of
a good family, having seen you, has gone mad on your account. The poor
young man, who is tender by nature, has never been distressed in such a
way before, and it is highly probable that he will succumb under his
present affliction, and experience the pains of death." If the woman
listens with a favourable ear, then on the following day the go-between,
having observed marks of good spirits in her face, in her eyes, and in
her manner of conversation, should again converse with her on the
subject of the man, and should tell her the stories of Ahalya[59] and
Indra, of Sakoontala[60] and Dushyanti, and such others as may be fitted
for the occasion. She should also describe to her the strength of the
man, his talents, his skill in the sixty-four sorts of enjoyments
mentioned by Babhravya, his good looks, and his liaison with some
praiseworthy woman, no matter whether this last ever took place or not.
In addition to this, the go-between should carefully note the behaviour
of the woman, which if favourable would be as follows: She would address
her with a smiling look, would seat herself close beside her, and ask
her, "Where have you been? What have you been doing? Where did you dine?
Where did you sleep? Where have you been sitting?" Moreover the woman
would meet the go-between in lonely places and tell her stories there,
would yawn contemplatively, draw long sighs, give her presents, remember
her on occasions of festivals, dismiss her with a wish to see her again,
and say to her jestingly, "Oh, well-speaking woman, why do you speak
these bad words to me?" would discourse on the sin of her union with the
man, would not tell her about any previous visits or conversations that
she may have had with him, but wish to be asked about these, and lastly
would laugh at the man's desire, but would not reproach him in any way.
Thus ends the behaviour of the woman with the go-between.
When the woman manifests her love in the manner above described, the
go-between should increase it by bringing to her love tokens from the
man. But if the woman be not acquainted with the man personally, the
go-between should win her over by extolling and praising his good
qualities, and by telling stories about his love for her. Here Auddalaka
says that when a man or woman are not personally acquainted with each
other, and have not shown each other any signs of affection, the
employment of a go-between is useless.
The followers of Babhravya on the other hand affirm that even though
they be personally unacquainted, but have shown each other signs of
affection there is an occasion for the employment of a go-between.
Gonikaputra asserts that a go-between should be employed, provided they
are acquainted with each other, even though no signs of affection may
have passed between them. Vatsyayana however lays it down that even
though they may not be personally acquainted with each other, and may
not have shown each other any signs of affection, still they are both
capable of placing confidence in a go-between.
Now the go-between should show the woman the presents, such as the betel
nut and betel leaves, the perfumes, the flowers, and the rings which the
man may have given to her for the sake of the woman, and on these
presents should be impressed the marks of the man's teeth, and nails,
and other signs. On the cloth that he may send he should draw with
saffron both his hands joined together as if in earnest entreaty.
The go-between should also show to the woman ornamental figures of
various kinds cut in leaves, together with ear ornaments, and chaplets
made of flowers containing love letters expressive of the desire of the
man,[61] and she should cause her to send affectionate presents to the
man in return. After they have mutually accepted each other's presents,
then a meeting should be arranged between them on the faith of the
go-between.
The followers of Babhravya say that this meeting should take place at
the time of going to the temple of a Deity, or on occasions of fairs,
garden parties, theatrical performances, marriages, sacrifices,
festivals and funerals, as also at the time of going to the river to
bathe, or at times of natural calamities,[62] fear of robbers or hostile
invasions of the country.
Gonikaputra is of opinion however that these meetings had better be
brought about in the abodes of female friends, mendicants, astrologers,
and ascetics. But Vatsyayana decides that that place is only well suited
for the purpose which has proper means of ingress and egress, and where
arrangements have been made to prevent any accidental occurrence, and
when a man who has once entered the house, can also leave it at the
proper time without any disagreeable encounter.
Now go-betweens or female messengers are of the following different
kinds, viz.:
(1). A go-between who takes upon herself the whole burden of the
business.
(2). A go-between who does only a limited part of the business.
(3). A go-between who is the bearer of a letter only.
(4). A go-between acting on her own account.
(5). The go-between of an innocent young woman.
(6). A wife serving as a go-between.
(7). A mute go-between.
(8). A go-between who acts the part of the wind.
(1). A woman who, having observed the mutual passion of a man and woman,
brings them together and arranges it by the power of her own intellect,
such an one is called a go-between who takes upon herself the whole
burden of the business. This kind of go-between is chiefly employed when
the man and the woman are already acquainted with each other, and have
conversed together, and in such cases she is sent not only by the man
(as is always done in all other cases) but by the woman also.--The above
name is also given to a go-between who, perceiving that the man and the
woman are suited to each other, tries to bring about a union between
them, even though they be not acquainted with each other.
(2). A go-between who, perceiving that some part of the affair is
already done, or that the advances on the part of the man are already
made, completes the rest of the business, is called a go-between who
performs only a limited part of the business.
(3). A go-between, who simply carries messages between a man and a
woman, who love each other, but who cannot frequently meet, is called
the bearer of a letter or message.
This name is also given to one who is sent by either of the lovers to
acquaint either the one or the other with the time and place of their
meeting.
(4). A woman who goes herself to a man, and tells him of her having
enjoyed sexual union with him in a dream, and expresses her anger at his
wife having rebuked him for calling her by the name of her rival instead
of by her own name, and gives him something bearing the marks of her
teeth and nails, and informs him that she knew she was formerly desired
by him, and asks him privately whether she or his wife is the best
looking, such a person is called a woman who is a go-between for
herself. Now such a woman should be met and interviewed by the man in
private and secretly.
The above name is also given to a woman who having made an agreement
with some other woman to act as her go-between, gains over the man to
herself, by the means of making him personally acquainted with herself,
and thus causes the other woman to fail. The same applies to a man who,
acting as a go-between for another, and having no previous connection
with the woman, gains her over for himself, and thus causes the failure
of the other man.
(5). A woman, who has gained the confidence of the innocent young wife
of any man, and who has learned her secrets without exercising any
pressure on her mind, and found out from her how her husband behaves to
her, if this woman then teaches her the art of securing his favour, and
decorates her so as to show her love, and instructs her how and when to
be angry, or to pretend to be so, and then, having herself made marks of
the nails and teeth on the body of the wife, gets the latter to send for
her husband to show these marks to him, and thus excite him for
enjoyment, such is called the go-between of an innocent young woman. In
such cases the man should send replies to his wife through the same
woman.
(6). When a man gets his wife to gain the confidence of a woman whom he
wants to enjoy, and to call on her and talk to her about the wisdom and
ability of her husband, that wife is called a wife serving as a
go-between. In this case the feelings of the woman with regard to the
man should also be made known through the wife.
(7). When any man sends a girl or a female servant to any woman under
some pretext or other, and places a letter in her bouquet of flowers, or
in her ear ornaments, or marks something about her with his teeth or
nails, that girl or female servant is called a mute go-between. In this
case the man should expect an answer from the woman through the same
person.
(8). A person, who carries a message to a woman, which has a double
meaning, or which relates to some past transactions, or which is
unintelligible to other people, is called a go-between who acts the part
of the wind. In this case the reply should be asked for through the same
woman.
Thus end the different kinds of go-betweens.
A female astrologer, a female servant, a female beggar, or a female
artist are well acquainted with the business of a go-between, and very
soon gain the confidence of other women. Any one of them can raise
enmity between any two persons if she wishes to do so, or extol the
loveliness of any woman that she wishes to praise, or describe the arts
practised by other women in sexual union. They can also speak highly of
the love of a man, of his skill in sexual enjoyment, and of the desire
of other women, more beautiful even than the woman they are addressing,
for him, and explain the restraint under which he may be at home.
Lastly a go-between can, by the artfulness of her conversation unite a
woman with a man, even though he may not have been thought of by her, or
may have been considered beyond his aspirations. She can also bring back
a man to a woman, who, owing to some cause or other, has separated
himself from her.
FOOTNOTE:
[Footnote 59: The wife of the sage Gautama, she was seduced by Indra the
king of the Gods.]
[Footnote 60: The heroine of one of the best, if not the best, of Hindoo
plays, and the best known in Sanscrit dramatic literature. It was first
brought to notice by Sir William Jones, and has been well and poetically
translated by Dr. Monier Williams under the title of Sakoontala, or the
lost ring, an Indian drama, translated into English prose and verse from
the Sanscrit of Kalidasa.]
[Footnote 61: It is presumed that something like the following French
verses are intended.
Quand on a juré le plus profond hommage
Voulez-vous qu'infidè le on change de langage
Vous seule captive mon esprit ou mon coeur
Que je puisse dans vos bras seuls goûter le bonheur;
Je voudrais, mais en vain, que mon coeur en délire
Couche où ce papier n'oserait vous dire.
Avec soin, de ces vers lisez leur premiers mots,
Vous verrez quel remède il faut à tous mes maux.
Or these:
Quand on vous voit, on vous aime;
Quand on vous aime, où vous voit-on.]
[Footnote 62: It is supposed that storms, earthquakes, famines and
pestilent diseases are here alluded to.]
CHAPTER V.
ABOUT THE LOVE OF PERSONS IN AUTHORITY FOR THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN.
Kings and their ministers have no access to the abodes of others, and
moreover their mode of living is constantly watched and observed and
imitated by the people at large, just as the animal world, seeing the
sun rise, get up after him, and when he sits in the evening, lie down
again in the same way. Persons in authority should not therefore do any
improper act in public, as such are impossible from their position, and
would be deserving of censure. But if they find that such an act is
necessary to be done, they should make use of the proper means as
described in the following paragraphs.
The head man of the village, the King's officer employed there, and the
man[63] whose business it is to glean corn, can gain over female
villagers simply by asking them. It is on this account that this class
of woman are called unchaste women by voluptuaries.
The union of the above mentioned men with this class of woman takes
place on the occasions of unpaid labour, of filling the granaries in
their houses, of taking things in and out of the house, of cleaning the
houses, of working in the fields, and of purchasing cotton, wool, flax,
hemp, and thread, and at the season of the purchase, sale, and exchange
of various other articles, as well as at the time of doing various other
works. In the same way the superintendents of cow pens enjoy the women
in the cow pens; and the officers, who have the superintendence of
widows, of the women who are without supporters, and of women who have
left their husbands, have sexual intercourse with these women. The
intelligent accomplish their object by wandering at night in the
village, and while villagers also unite with the wives of their sons,
being much alone with them. Lastly the superintendents of markets have a
great deal to do with the female villagers at the time of their making
purchases in the market.
During the festival of the eighth moon, _i.e._, during the bright half
of the month of Nargashirsha, as also during the moonlight festival of
the month of Kartika, and the spring festival of Chaitra, the women of
cities and towns generally visit the women of the King's harem in the
royal palace. These visitors go to the several apartments of the women
of the harem, as they are acquainted with them, and pass the night in
conversation, and in proper sports, and amusement, and go away in the
morning. On such occasions a female attendant of the King (previously
acquainted with the woman whom the King desires), should loiter about,
and accost this woman when she sets out to go home, and induce her to
come and see the amusing things in the palace. Previous to these
festivals even, she should have caused it to be intimated to this woman
that on the occasion of this festival she would show her all the
interesting things in the royal palace. Accordingly she should show her
the bower of the coral creeper, the garden house with its floor inlaid
with precious stones, the bower of grapes, the building on the water,
the secret passages in the walls of the palace, the pictures, the
sporting animals, the machines, the birds, and the cages of the lions
and the tigers. After this, when alone with her, she should tell her
about the love of the King for her, and should describe to her the good
fortune which would attend upon her union with the King, giving her at
the time a strict promise of secrecy. If the woman does not accept the
offer, she should conciliate and please her with handsome presents
befitting the position of the King, and having accompanied her for some
distance should dismiss her with great affection.
(2). Or, having made the acquaintance of the husband of the woman whom
the King desires, the wives of the King should get the wife to pay them
a visit in the harem, and on this occasion a female attendant of the
King, having been sent thither, should act as above described.
(3). Or, one of the King's wives should get acquainted with the woman
that the King desires, by sending one of the female attendants to her,
who should, on their becoming more intimate, induce her to come and see
the royal abode. Afterwards, when she has visited the harem, and
acquired confidence, a female confidante of the King, sent thither,
should act as before described.
(4). Or, the King's wife should invite the woman, whom the King desires,
to come to the royal palace, so that she might see the practice of the
art in which the King's wife may be skilled, and after she has come to
the harem, a female attendant of the King, sent thither, should act as
before described.
(5). Or, a female beggar, in league with the King's wife, should say to
the woman desired by the King, and whose husband may have lost his
wealth, or may have some cause of fear from the King: "This wife of the
King has influence over him, and she is, moreover, naturally
kind-hearted, we must therefore go to her in this matter. I shall
arrange for your entrance into the harem, and she will do away with all
cause of danger and fear from the King." If the woman accepts this
offer, the female beggar should take her two or three times to the
harem, and the King's wife there should give her a promise of
protection. After this, when the woman, delighted with her reception and
promise of protection, again goes to the harem, then a female attendant
of the King, sent thither, should act as directed.
(6). What has been said above regarding the wife of one who has some
cause of fear from the King applies also to the wives of those who seek
service under the King, or who are oppressed by the King's ministers, or
who are poor, or who are not satisfied with their position, or who are
desirous of gaining the King's favour, or who wish to become famous
among the people, or who are oppressed by the members of their own
caste, or who want to injure their caste fellows, or who are spies of
the King, or who have any other object to attain.
(7). Lastly, if the woman desired by the King be living with some person
who is not her husband, then the King should cause her to be arrested,
and having made her a slave, on account of her crime, should place her
in the harem. Or the King should cause his ambassador to quarrel with
the husband of the woman desired by him, and should then imprison her as
the wife of an enemy of the King, and by this means should place her in
the harem.
Thus end the means of gaining over the wives of others secretly.
The above mentioned ways of gaining over the wives of other men are
chiefly practised in the palaces of Kings. But a King should never enter
the abode of another person, for Abhira,[64] the King of the Kottas was
killed by a washerman while in the house of another, and in the same way
Jayasana the King of the Kashis was slain by the commandment of his
cavalry.
But according to the customs of some countries there are facilities for
Kings to make love to the wives of other men. Thus in the country of the
Andras[65] the newly married daughters of the people thereof enter the
King's harem with some presents on the tenth day of their marriage, and
having been enjoyed by the King are then dismissed. In the country of
the Vatsagulmas[66] the wives of the chief ministers approach the King
at night to serve him. In the country of the Vaidarbhas[67] the
beautiful wives of the inhabitants pass a month in the King's harem
under the pretence of affection for the King. In the country of the
Aparatakas[68] the people gave their beautiful wives as presents to the
ministers and the Kings. And lastly in the country of the
Saurashtras[69] the women of the city and the country enter the royal
harem for the King's pleasure either together or separately.
There are also two verses on the subject as follows:
"The above and other ways are the means employed in different countries
by Kings with regard to the wives of other persons. But a King, who has
the welfare of his people at heart, should not on any account put them
into practice."