"I'm sorry," the recorder said when McLeod called Tracy's apartment.
"Miss Kent is not at home. Is there any message?"
"No," said McLeod, then lied: "This is Harry Crippens talking."
"Miss Kent left a message for you, Mr. Crippens," said the recorder.
"She will wait for you at the Fourth Estate. She says it is important."
"Thank you," said McLeod. "If Miss Kent should check in, will you tell
her Darius wants to save Cripp's life if he can? Will you tell her
Darius has come to his senses?"
"Darius wants to save Cripp's life if he can. Darius has come to his
senses. Yes, sir."
McLeod had left the _Star-Times_ after a hurried lunch in the newspaper
cafeteria. He'd placed the call to Tracy's apartment from his own
because the wires might or might not be tapped in his office.
Suddenly he began cursing silently.
Overman had rigged receivers in various apartments--including
Darius'--to uncover the Anti-News cell. If Overman had heard his
conversation with Tracy's recorder, Weaver Wainwright wouldn't be the
only one gunning for McLeod.
He found the receiver rigged to his TV set, unhooked it, but the damage
had been done. He doubted that Overman would constantly monitor the
set, yet Overman would see the damning evidence eventually. McLeod
could save Cripp's life by simply not killing him, but then what? He
smiled grimly. It posed a considerable problem for Overman too, for the
City Editor wanted to dump a fat wrongo in the _World's_ lap but
now would also want to see McLeod dead. One seemed to preclude the
other ... unless Overman decided to give McLeod a week of grace, then
kill him. McLeod was still smiling. Perhaps the situation confronting
the fictional lady-or-tiger man had been more aggravating, but it was
less deadly.
McLeod taped a second parabeam to his right arm and took the escalator
to the roof and his copter.
* * * * *
"Hi," the weaponcheck girl greeted him as he entered the Fourth Estate.
"How are you today, Mr. McLeod?"
"Never better." As she approached him, McLeod removed the first
parabeam from his trick sleeve and handed it to her. "I'm ticklish
today," he told her and saw that she was about to say something until
she noticed the folded bill wedged between trigger and trigger guard.
She nodded, patted his shoulders quickly without searching, and wagged
away. It happened all the time, McLeod knew. He wouldn't be the only
one.
"You hurry up inside," the weaponcheck girl called over her bare
shoulder. "They're doing a combo-tease."
As McLeod made his way through the darkened room, he saw a well-built
man and a delightfully built women performing the combo-tease on stage.
Sweat glistened on their sleek dark skins as red lights shifted and
flowed across the stage. It was more suggestive than French pictures,
combining features of an Apache dance and a conventional strip. It had
been outlawed everywhere but at the Fourth Estate and had everyone's
rapt attention.
Everyone except Cripp and Tracy. McLeod found them in a distant corner
of the great room, hunched toward each other across a small table and
talking in low tones.
"Mind?" McLeod asked.
"You have your nerve," Tracy hissed at him, but people to left and
right were muttering angrily at them as the combo-tease neared its
conclusion. "Well, I guess you're harmless enough in here."
"Sit down," Cripp said.
"Overman knows about you two," McLeod told them quickly. "The works."
"You mean that we're going to get married?" Tracy demanded. "It's no
secret."
"I mean that you belong to the Anti-Newspaper League. Tracy, you're
pretending to spy on us for the _World_, he knows that, Cripp, you
thwart bad news when you can. You both belong to the Anti-Newspaper
League. To Overman, you're both anarchistic. He'd like to see you dead."
The woman on stage had seemed spent but now rallied and held her own as
they danced a frenzied Apache battle from wing to wing. Tracy, who was
facing the stage, said, "That's positively lewd. We've all degenerated
so much, Cripp."
McLeod shrugged. "Overman would say that's part of your Anti-News
tendencies."
"And you?"
McLeod grinned. "I'm not much for spectator sports."
"No, I mean about the Anti-Newspaper League. I'm not admitting
anything, but I just wonder what you think."
"You wouldn't believe me."
"Why don't you try us, Darius?" Cripp suggested.
"You don't have to admit anything," McLeod informed them. "Overman
plugged a receiver into your TV sets and monitored them. Mine too, by
the way. I called you a while ago. Which put me in hot water too."
"You mean he'll monitor the call?" asked Cripp.
"Maybe he already has. You can check with your recorder if you want to,
Tracy."
"Tell me what you told the recorder?"
"That I was going to try and save Cripp's life. That I had finally come
to my senses, I guess."
"All you have to do to save Cripp's life is nothing. I was told by
someone on Lantrel's staff that you hadn't applied for Cripp's death."
"Another part of the cell," McLeod mused. "Just how extensive is it?"
"I wouldn't know," Tracy told him coolly. "Anyway, you said Overman
knows."
"He does. I don't."
* * * * *
The Apache strippers had leaped from the stage and now were cavorting
acrobatically about the dance floor. A single red spot followed them
as they pounced after each other, working their way toward the rows of
tables and then among them. McLeod heard quick, eager breathing in the
shadowy audience.
"I never knew they came off the stage," Tracy said.
McLeod winked at her. "Maybe one of these days they'll want audience
participation."
"Very funny. If you're telling us the truth, Darius, what are you going
to do?"
"You tell me. Overman wanted me to kill Cripp, win your confidence and
take Cripp's place in the cell. I had to make it look like it wasn't
me who did the job. But if Overman monitored my TV, he'll realize I'm
not his boy. He'll have to do without an informant. He knows I'm wise
to him but probably doesn't want to know. Which means he'll have to act
fast."
"But if he eliminates you, Wainwright and the _World_ get their
scoop," Cripp pointed out.
"I know, I can't figure it. Overman's got a man-sized problem, but so
have you. I don't think you have much time to leave the city. Get lost
somewhere. Change your names. Anything."
Tracy bristled. "We haven't admitted a thing."
"There's no time for that. Please, Tracy," Cripp pleaded. "I think
Darius is on our side. We're making a mistake if we reject him."
"Unless I'm wrong," McLeod said, "Overman hasn't told anyone but me. He
just doesn't know who to trust."
"So he settles for Mr. Judas Iscariot himself," Tracy said.
Cripp slammed his hand down on the table and drew angry oaths from the
tables around them. "Cut it out," he said. "Let's listen to Darius. Can
you think of anything else to do?"
"Well--"
"If I'm the only one he told," McLeod went on, "and then if he found
out about me and decided to come here in a hurry, we can hope he hasn't
told anyone else. Chances are, he hasn't. If he found out he can't even
trust me, he won't know which way to turn, not until he clears this
whole mess up."
"What are you driving at?" Tracy asked him.
"Reporter, City Editor. It's close enough. Maybe Wainwright can still
get his story."
"You mean Overman? You wouldn't dare."
"It isn't just Cripp's life, or even yours, if you still have your mind
made up about me. It's my life too. If we can make Wainwright settle
for Overman, all this doesn't have to go any further."
"What's your price?" Tracy demanded.
"For Heaven's sake!" Cripp cried.
"I can't blame her, Cripp. I was pretty nasty about it before, and I
tried to be pretty tricky as well. I'm still all mixed up. I think I
know where I stand now but I can't guarantee anything."
"You mean after all this is over you're liable to change your mind
again?" Tracy asked him, giving Cripp an I-told-you-so smile.
"No. Definitely not. At worst, I'll be neutral. At best--"
"At best," Cripp finished for him enthusiastically, "you'll probably
be made City Editor in Overman's place. You're the obvious man for the
job, and if you could see your way clear to joining us, there's no
telling what we might accomplish. Don't you see it, Tracy?"
"All I can see is the combo-tease. They'll be dancing on our table if
they come any closer."
* * * * *
The team struggled three tables away to a subtle, wild, barely
audible rhythm. The man had regained the offensive, but it had cost
him everything he wore except for a pair of tight trousers and one
billowing, ruffled sleeve which flapped ridiculously from shoulder to
wrist.
At the last moment, McLeod thought he saw a leather strap under the
sleeve. The couple had reached their table; the man forced the woman
back over it, still dancing. The red spotlight winked out like a
snuffed candle flame.
Tracy screamed.
The audience had interpreted the darkness and Tracy's scream as the
act's final, breath-taking garnish and now buzzed in isolated knots of
whispered excitement before the applause rolled deafeningly across the
room.
McLeod leaped to his feet, groping blindly in the darkness with his
hands. He heard Cripp shout Tracy's name and began to yell himself
for someone to turn on the lights. Something struck his head above
and behind the right ear and he felt himself falling to his knees. He
grabbed at air, then made contact with two bare legs. Still yelling,
he guessed it was the woman--then felt unseen hands tugging at his
hair, fingers raking his face. He got up and was grappling with a
supple-swift invisible opponent when the lights went on and blinded him.
There were shouts and restraining arms and when he could see again the
woman dancer, now almost naked, was pointing an accusing finger at him.
"He deliberately attacked me!" she wailed.
McLeod wiped blood from his face and said, "That's crazy." These were
more than combo-strippers, he knew. They might be in Wainwright's
pay or Overman's. Either way, he was in for it. "They're a couple of
gunmen," he said.
The male dancer was covering Tracy and Cripp with his parabeam, which
had been hidden under the flapping right sleeve. "See?" McLeod said to
the circle of people around them. "He's armed."
The crowd parted to admit the weaponcheck girl to its center. With a
quick, deft movement she found McLeod's second parabeam, withdrew it
and told him, "So are you."
More figures joined them, in police uniforms, the polished leather
harness for twin parabeams creaking on each pair of hips, the gaudy
blue and gold uniforms starched stiffly. "You're under arrest," one of
them told McLeod. "You'll have to come with us."
"You're no more police than I am. Since when do police do anything more
than direct traffic?"
"You'll have to come with us, sir."
"And then get killed trying to escape? Keep your hands off me."
At that moment, Weaver Wainwright made his way inside the wide circle
of onlookers, his long sad nose drooping over his upper lip as he
smiled at McLeod. "When our police reporter said it was you, I rushed
right over."
"Sure," McLeod said bitterly. "Police reporter. Why don't you admit
these people are a bunch of your killers? You've really tailor-made
your accident this time, Wainwright. I guess I'll be killed trying to
escape."
Wainwright regarded him with bland curiosity. "What I want to know is
why you attacked the girl."
"He didn't attack her," Tracy said. "I was right here."
"In pitch darkness," the weaponcheck girl reminded her. Apparently
McLeod's bribe had been topped.
* * * * *
McLeod let his eyes scan the crowd, seeking a friendly face. Here were
the minor luminaries of the fourth estate gazing upon their fallen
idol. For McLeod, like Weaver Wainwright, had been almost a legendary
figure. But Wainwright had engineered the fall and now, like those
South American fish which can strip the flesh from a man in seconds,
they clustered about McLeod's social corpse. They sensed his demise as
surely as if it had been something physical. They waited with avid eyes
at the bottom of the ladder for him to fall. Then each figure would
ascend one rung upward and so, each with his own capable hands and
thinkwriter, control human history a little more.
If only he could somehow contact Overman, McLeod thought. How much time
did he have? He wasn't sure but thought it could be measured in minutes.
"I'd like to call my City Editor," McLeod said.
Wainwright chuckled. "A good reporter to the last. But I see Crippens
and Miss Kent here."
"It's my right."
"The _Star-Times_ will get its story. Won't you see to that, Mr.
Crippens?"
McLeod stared mutely at Cripp, who finally said, "How do you know _I_
didn't attack the woman?"
The stripper pouted and pointed a manicured finger at McLeod. "It was
that man."
"You see?" Wainwright demanded.
"No," Cripp told him. "It was dark. She couldn't tell. If McLeod is
arrested, they'll have to take me, too."
A muscle twitched in Wainwright's face, tugging the long nose down
and to the left. "Very well. But Miss Kent still represents the
_Star-Times_."
Cripp shook his head. "A co-respondent?"
"She's capable."
"Too damned capable," McLeod said. "I have positive proof that Tracy
Kent is employed as a spy by the _World_." He turned on Wainwright with
what he hoped would pass for righteous indignation. "Is that the kind
of fair break you try to give the opposition?"
The encircling crowd stirred, trembling with whispers. McLeod pressed
his advantage by jabbing a finger at the captain of police. "I demand
the right to call my newspaper."
"Well, I don't know." The man looked to Wainwright for help.
"Never mind him," McLeod said. "You tell me. I'm within my rights as a
newspaperman, or wouldn't you know about that?"
Someone brought out a portable phone and thrust it at McLeod. The
captain of police looked at Wainwright, who shook his head quickly from
side to side. It was all right. Sure it was all right. McLeod could
make no accusations in public, the law said. If he started, he would
forfeit his right to complete the call. He could tell Overman that
Tracy and Cripp had him, instead, but he doubted if the City Editor
would act on that basis.
Wainwright grinned. "There's your phone, McLeod. We're waiting for you
to call."
"Thanks a lot," McLeod told him, and hurled the instrument at his face.
He heard a thud and a startled oath and didn't wait to see the results.
He whirled and struck out with the edge of his hand, slicing it
expertly at the police captain's Adam's Apple. McLeod vaulted over the
gagging man as he went down and plunged, head tucked against his chest
and knees kicking high, into the first rank of the crowd. He fought
elbows, fists, shoulders, legs, warm human breaths, reaching the front
of the room and sprinting past the weaponcheck arsenal and out into the
green, summery glade that surrounded the anachronism of stone and glass
that was the Fourth Estate.
* * * * *
Protected by a force field, the grounds around the Estate knew nothing
but summer. But elsewhere, McLeod thought as he plunged on toward the
copter field, man's control over the elements vied for headlines.
McLeod saw the figure of a man up ahead as he rounded the final turn
in the path, still sprinting. The man stood squarely in front of him,
blocking his way with a drawn parabeam.
"Did he come this way?" McLeod cried. "Talk, man! Did McLeod come this
way?"
"No, sir. He, wait a minute...."
But McLeod was upon him, using the same judo-cut that had floored the
captain of police. McLeod wrenched the parabeam from the man's fingers
as he fell, then found his copter and was airborne by the time the
vanguard of his pursuers appeared as tiny dots on the field below.
Less than an hour later, McLeod landed on the roof of the _Star-Times_
building, where a slowly circling plow was scooping up the snow,
digesting it and spitting out great jets of steam. McLeod doubled the
speed of the escalator with his own flying feet and was soon striding
across the City Room, nodding briefly to the sychophantic waves and
smiles which greeted him as the _Star-Times'_ ace reporter.
"Chief," he said, entering Overman's glass-walled office without
bothering to knock, "the wolves are after your fair-haired boy--but
good!"
"Wainwright?" Overman guessed, drumming nervous fingers on his desk.
"Wainwright. Something about attacking the female member of a combo
tease. If his police ever had a chance to take me, I'd have been killed
trying to get away."
"So, what happened?"
"What happened, the man says. They're probably on their way here right
now. In order for me to get away, Cripp had to claim he attacked the
girl too."
"That's wonderful. Doesn't that take care of Mr. Crippens for us?
Well, doesn't it? Incidentally, that was a stroke of genius on your
part, telling Tracy Kent you had a change of heart _before_ anything
happened. Paving the way, eh?"
"Something like that," McLeod mumbled. Then Overman had monitored his
call to Tracy's apartment, but had misinterpreted what he heard--
"Sit down, Darius. There. Are you armed?"
"Yes, but you don't think they'd try to take me right here, do you?
That would be an open declaration of war." McLeod took out the parabeam
and placed it on the edge of Overman's desk.
"It would be war--unless I surrendered you to them." Overman scooped
up the parabeam and thumbled it to high intensity. "At first I thought
that was a stroke of genius on your part, but I wasn't sure. So I
had you followed. Your conversation with Crippens and Tracy Kent was
ingenius, all right. But it puts us on opposite sides now, doesn't it?"
McLeod had never seen Overman so calm. His fingers no longer drummed
their incessant rhythm on the desk, his legs were still. He sat
motionless, like a tri-di picture of himself. McLeod said, "Not at all.
I only wanted to gain their confidence."
"The one thing that bothers me is this: it looks like I'm going to give
Weaver Wainwright his story after all, although there's a chance I
can save something for the _Star-Times_. I suspect he'll take you off
somewhere and have you killed, but the moment he leaves this office
with you, you'll be denounced in the _Star-Times_. Wainwright won't be
killing a top reporter. He'll be killing a member of the Anti-Newspaper
League."
"You're crazy," McLeod said. "It might have sounded bad, but it was
all part of the same thing. I wanted to gain their confidence and--"
"And offer me in your place to Wainwright's hatchetmen? That's
interesting."
"I was lying to them."
"No. You're lying to me. I'll tell you this, Darius. It comes as
a great disappointment. Suddenly, all at once, a man finds his
organization is riddled with subversives. That's bad enough, but at
least he has one man he can trust. He thinks. He thinks, Darius. But
he's wrong there, too. Now he can trust no one. Perhaps he'll have to
fire his entire staff and start from the beginning again. But it's the
one man, the Judas, who hurts most. Even if Wainwright gets you and
gets his story--and I get mine--I'll never be able to trust anyone
again. Don't you see the position you've put me in? I'm a lonely man,
Darius."
* * * * *
McLeod stood up and leaned across the desk. "We've both been playing
God all our lives. What do you think happens when a God loses his
worshippers?"
"I haven't lost them. Just the acolytes. There are others."
"There are the people," McLeod said. "Waiting for the medical cures
we promise them but never give. The farmers, praying to their own God
while we ruin their crops capriciously to scoop the _World_. The dead
citizens of a dozen bombed out cities in a dozen unnecessary wars. The
people who haven't read Ortega y Gasset and maybe never even heard
of him and can't be convinced they're too stupid to seek their own
destinies."
"Ortega was right. Mass man can't discriminate. He's incapable of
logical, creative thought. He blunders from catastrophe to catastrophe
and grovels at the feet of demagogues."
"He can't be herded and led to slaughter."
"He can't be the master of his own fate, you fool!"
"Perhaps not. But there are people who can create, who can lead. People
who pave the way and let the masses follow where they lead."
"What do you think we do? We pave the way. We make the future."
"There's a difference."
"I can't see it."
"You don't want to. The truly creative man merely does his work. The
masses will follow of their own free will. Maybe they'll follow the
wrong leader as often as not, but we've still come a long way in a few
thousand years. It's wrong if they're led, or pushed, or tricked or--"
"Sit down, Darius. Don't move. The trouble with you anti-news people
is you're too romantic. You think because God or Nature created man at
the top of the evolutionary ladder, man is good, man can do nothing but
move forward in the long run. You think it's a mistake for one man--or
a group of men, or an institution--to channel that movement.
"But of all the institutions in man's civilization, the newspaper is
the most logical one for the job. We inform, Darius. We are the essence
of life. Life perceives and, after perceiving transmits information. Or
builds machines to do the job. Sensation, perception, information--the
same thing. We're at the top. We belong here."
"Perception should be objective, un-colored. But there's no sense
talking to you."
"Perception is never objective, my dear Darius. An individual
perceives. Some men are tone-deaf, others color-blind. We all taste
the same foods, liking some and disliking others. I say the newspaper
belongs on the top like this. I say our creation of news is no
different from the hundred varied opinions of a hundred members of
the rabble. Unless it's better. We're a cohesive force, Darius. We
simplify. We unite."
"You hamper and destroy."
"We don't rule by force. Have they ever tried to overthrow us? Have
they? You see, they don't dislike us. They have faith in us. They can
grow roots and feel secure. They don't have a myriad of possibilities
confronting them. They have only two on any given subject, except in
purely local situations which we don't consider important. Either the
_Star-Times_ is right, or the _World_ is."
"Why are you telling me all this?"
"It's very important to me. I believed in you, Darius. I still think
you've made a mistake. While it's too late now--you see, we can't
really control _all_ events, can we?--I would like to hear you admit
your mistake. I can never trust anyone again."
"If I admit it?"
"I'll thank you...."
"And hand me over to Weaver Wainwright?"
"And hand you over to Weaver Wainwright."
* * * * *
There was a disturbance outside, the sound of running feet in the City
Room, of many voices. Overman cocked his head to one side, listening
to the tiny receiver in his ear then picking up his microphone hose
and saying, "In a moment. That's right, I said let them in. But give me
five minutes." He dropped the hose. "They're here for you, Darius."
"I gathered."
"Would you make a man who once was your friend happy before you go?
Just tell me you were wrong. Tell me if you had your way over again
you would remain loyal to me even if you were confronted with the same
faulty philosophical notions."
"At the point of a parabeam? What good would it do?"
"Forget the parabeam. I'm two people now. I'm guarding you and I'll
kill you if you come any closer to me, but I'm also pleading with you.
I'm asking you to give me my salvation."
"I wonder which one is stronger," McLeod said, standing again and
leaning across the desk. "Why does it mean so much to you, chief? Let
me tell you. Is it because you have doubts yourself and want me to
resolve them for you?"
"Keep back, I'm warning you. That isn't it at all. You've made me lose
my faith in people."
"I thought you didn't have any."
"In a few people. Please, Darius. Don't come any closer. A man has to
trust someone."
"You can't do anything about your doubts. You're hoping I can."
"I'm going to kill you if you come any closer." Overman was still
standing like a statue, the parabeam an extension of his right hand.
It was as if he would never move again unless McLeod freed him with a
word. It was as if the heart too had stopped its beating and only the
lips were alive, the pleading lips, begging for a reprieve.
McLeod leaped across the desk, his middle slamming down on the hard
surface, his diaphragm squeezing all the air from his lungs. His
fingers closed on Overman's wrist and forced it back as the parabeam
hissed from his cheek.
Now the lips were still. Now the muscles which had remained so inert
for many moments were writhing with activity, each individual cell
adding its strength to the whole, to the wiry arms, the thin legs,
the twisting, heaving torso. The only sound was the harsh rasping of
Overman's breath as they grappled, tumbling over and over, rolling
across the floor.
The parabeam was between them, separating their chests. Overman butted
with his head, bit, gouged, used his knees and elbows while he held
the weapon. The lungs filled with air--McLeod could feel the torso
lifting, the rib-cage expanding. The mouth opened to scream for help....
McLeod got a hand over it, felt teeth clamp on his fingers, very white,
very sharp. The mouth opened again as McLeod rolled suddenly clear to
avoid an up-thrusting knee.
Knee hit elbow and hand tightened convulsively. The parabeam hissed
against Overman's chest and up, bathing his chin and face and the lips
which, instead of screaming, formed the words "tell me" and then closed
slowly. Afterwards, McLeod always thought Overman's ears must have
retained their sentience longest as the man died, waiting for an answer
which would never come.
The door opened. People stood around, looking down at them. Wainwright.
The phony police. Tracy and Cripp. Some _Star-Times_ security agents.
McLeod stood up slowly, his own muscles twitching. He looked at
Wainwright, then pointed to Overman's body on the floor and said,
"There's your story. You were modest in your prediction. Not a
reporter, but the City Editor. Dead. And listen to me, Wainwright. It's
the only story you'll ever get. Try anything else and there'll be open
war between our papers. You understand?"
Wainwright considered, head down, arms folded in front of him, long
nose hiding lips from that angle. "They'll probably make you City
Editor," he mused. "I'll take the story. You're in the clear, McLeod."
"I want to be exonerated from that false charge."
But Wainwright shook his head. "Do it yourself. You have a newspaper,
too. Incidentally, how did Overman die?"
"Say he was looking for something, something important--so important
that when he couldn't find it he killed himself."
"That's no story."
"It's a story," said McLeod, "We can make it a story."
* * * * *
"There are hundreds of us," Tracy said later. "All over the country.
All over the world. We're badly organized. We need organization. You're
in a position to give it to us."
"Not overtly," Cripp warned. "But under cover at the beginning, until
we build up strength. We'll have to re-indoctrinate young reporters and
then forget about indoctrination when we can. We'll be fighting a war
all our lives."
"Men like Overman and Wainwright are the alternatives," McLeod said.
"I think even Overman knew, at the end, that he was wrong. But it went
against everything he ever thought or believed. I almost could have
been another Overman."
"You're not," Tracy said. "You just had to be goosed."
"It's going to be interesting," McLeod told them. "We'll still predict.
To stay in business, we'll have to predict, at least to start with.
But we'll give our scientists and social workers a free hand, and our
predictions will all be practical. Do you realize there hasn't been a
substantial scientific discovery put to use in the last fifty years?"
Cripp seemed worried. "Their approach is more sensational. They'll draw
the readers. But we have to--to stay in business."
"That was your trouble all along," McLeod said. "You were a bunch of
snipers. I think you're wrong. What's not sensational about a trip to
the moon or a cure for cancer or controlled weather that actually helps
the farmers or campaigning for the better man in an election because he
truly has something to offer? We're liable to put the _World_ right out
of business."
"We can try," said Tracy, smiling.
"Not you, young lady. No more co-respondents. How would you like to be
a bonafide social worker?"
But Tracy squeezed Cripp's hand and said, "No, thank you. I'd rather be
a housewife."
McLeod thought he'd have to settle for loving both of them like a
brother--then realized he'd be too busy to do anything of the sort.