The "Bloostockin's" bein' told how this innin's stood, by addressin'
them through their ear-trumpets, made a faint effort to holler
"Whooray!"
And, I am grieved to say it, one by-stander, who diden't understand the
grate nashunal game, wanted to know:
"What in thunder them old dry bones was cryin' about"
It was a crooel remark, altho' the old men, not bein' used to hollerin'
much, and not havin' any teeth, did make rather queer work tryin' to
holler.
Ime sorry to say, the game wasen't finished.
Refreshments were served at the end of this innin's, consistin' of
Slippery Elm tea and water gruel.
The old men eat harty.
This made them sleepy, and the consequence was, that the minnit they was
led out on the grass, "Sleep, barmy sleep," got the best of 'em, and
they laid down and slept like infants.
Both nines were then loaded onto stone botes and drawn off of the field.
The friends of both sides _drew_ their stake money, and the Umpire,
_drawin'_ a long breath, declared the match a _draw_ game.
Basely Ewers, HIRAM GREEN, Esq.,
_Lait Gustise of the Peece._
* * * * *
Bad Eggs.
The following suggestive item appears in an evening paper:
"Illinois boasts of chickens hatched by the sun."
Well, New York can beat Illinois at that game. The chickens hatched by
the _Sun_, here, are far too numerous for counting, and they are curses
of the kind that will assuredly "come home to roost."
* * * * *
Disagreeable, but True.
The restoration of the Bourbon dynasty is reckoned possible in France.
In this country the Bourbon die-nasty has never been played out. It is a
malignant disease, sometimes known as _delirium tremens._
* * * * *
Musical.
Mlle. Silly, the daily papers inform us, has been engaged for the Grand
Opera House in _opera bouffe_, and will make her _début_ about the
middle of September. The lady should not be confounded with any of our
New York "girls of the period" who bear, (or ought to bear,) her name.
* * * * *
Caution to Readers.
Seven steady business men of this city, four solid capitalists of
Boston, eighteen Frenchmen residents of the United States, but doing
business nowhere, and a German butcher in the Bowery, have just been
added to sundry lunatic asylums, their intellects having become
hopelessly deranged from reading the conflicting telegrams about the war
in Europe.
* * * * *
A Parallel.
In one of the reports of the Coroner's investigation of the Twenty-third
street murder, it was mentioned that "Several ladies and some young
children occupied chairs within the railing."
When REAL was hanged, it was noticeable that a great number of women
appeared in the morbid crowd that surrounded the Tombs, many of them
with small children in their arms.
Fifth Avenue and Five Points! Six of one and half-a-dozen of the other!
Blood _will_ tell!
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE HAZARD OF THE HORSE-CARS.
THIS IS STUBBS, (_an incorrigible old bachelor_,) WHO TAKES AN OPEN CAB,
FOR GREENWOOD, AND IS COMPELLED TO DO THE WHOLE DISTANCE SO.
Illustration: AND THIS IS THE WAY IN WHICH DOBBS, WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN
DELIGHTED WITH STUBB'S LUCK, IS MADE TO SUFFER MARTYRDOM ON _his_
LITTLE EXCURSION]
* * * * *