_House of Commons, Monday, March 2._--Navy Estimates on to-night.
Millions of money to be voted, and only fourteen Members present. One,
it is true, is HARCOURT; so perhaps the most accurate enumeration of
the aggregate would be fifteen.
"_Que diable allait-il faire dans ce_ jolly-boat?" GEORGE HAMILTON
asks, pausing for a moment in his incessant occupation of tearing up
strips of paper to glance across table at portly figure reclining on
Front Opposition Bench. Several Admirals and Captains have spoken.
Members generally have fled the burning deck. Even OLD MORALITY's
sense of duty to his Queen and Country cannot restrain his flight;
but CASABIANCA HARCOURT still remains. A little provoking for the
Old Salts descanting on Naval affairs to observe smile of pitying
toleration with which he listens. Doesn't _say_ they're all wrong, but
smiles it. Even the voice of the Reverberating COLOMB falters when,
glancing round the great gaps of empty Benches opposite, his eye falls
on HARCOURT.
"Sir, I repeat," he said, quite angrily, though no one had
contradicted him, "that during the period that has elapsed since
commencement of the present reign, the revenue of the United Kingdom
has increased only one-and-a-half times, while that of the outlying
Empire has multiplied five-fold."
General admission that HARCOURT is a master in nearly every department
of human knowledge. Up to to-night fondly thought that at least he
knew nothing about the Navy. But he does; knows more than Admiral
FIELD, or Admiral MAYNE, or even Colonel GOURLEY. Presently rose and
delivered slashing speech, laying low the Reverberating COLOMB as
if he had been set up in the Place Vendôme; reviewing the British
Fleet in masterly style; nimbly running up the mainmast and sighting
Jerusalem and Madagascar, to the absolute confounding of the First
Lord of the Admiralty.
[Illustration: Something more than his full height.]
"Well," said KERANS, drawing himself up to something more than his
full height, "that's the most remarkable exhibition I ever heard,
even from HARCOURT. We've nothing like it on our side. HOWORTH knows
a thing or two, and HANBURY isn't lacking in accomplishment; but
for versatility, for profundity of knowledge, for readiness of
grasp, whether the object be a lawyer's brief, a Chancellor of the
Exchequer's ledger, the hilt of a sword, or the tiller of a ship,
give me HARCOURT."
_Business done_.--Committee on the Navy Estimates.
_Tuesday_.--WOLMER asked OLD MORALITY what about the Fog? Couldn't
something be done to lighten it, say by appointment of Royal
Commission? OLD MORALITY beamed across House upon his young friend
with expression of almost paternal solicitude. WOLMER is Whip of the
allied force. What did he mean by suddenly springing this question on
the First Lord of the Treasury? Was there more in it than met the eye?
Had it something to do, however obscurely, with the maintenance of the
Union?
CHAMBERLAIN sat on the Front Bench opposite, staring straight into
space with Sphynx-like countenance. HARTINGTON, with hat cunningly
tipped over eyes, hid what secret may have lain far in their pellucid
depths. HENRY JAMES became suddenly absorbed in the brown gaiters
he has recently added to the graces of his personal appearance, in
pathetic admission that the natural charms of youth are at length
fading.
Nothing to be gained by the inspection. If the cause of the Union
really was at stake, the springs of motive were hidden behind the
smiling countenance of the Machiavellian WOLMER. The only thing to
do, and it is quite foreign to the habits of OLD MORALITY, was to
meet guile with guile. WOLMER's question, plain enough as it appeared
in print on the prosaic Orders, was, "Will Her Majesty's Ministers
consider the advisability of appointing a Royal Commission to examine
and report how far the evil of Fog is one that may be mitigated by
legislation?"
"Sir," said OLD MORALITY, rising to the occasion, "I have to assure my
Noble Friend that Her Majesty's Government are, in common with other
inhabitants of the Metropolis, extremely sensible of the serious
injury, disturbance, and hardship inflicted by the increasing
prevalence of fog. What, it may be asked, is the cause of the London
fog? These fogs, which occur generally in the winter time, are
occasioned thus: some current of air, being suddenly cooled, descends
into the warm streets, forcing back the smoke in a mass towards the
earth. But, my Noble Friend might ask, why are there not fogs every
night? I will tell him, for this is a matter in which Her Majesty's
Government have nothing to hide, or, I may add, to conceal. Our wish
is to meet the convenience of Hon. Gentlemen in whatever part of the
House they sit. Fogs--this I have no hesitation in stating--do not
supervene without intermission on successive nights, because the air
will always hold in solution a certain quantity of vapour which varies
according to its temperature, and when the air is not saturated,
it may be cooled without parting with its vapour. Yes, I know.
My Right Hon. Friend, the Member for West Birmingham, with his
usual acumen--which I am sure we all recognise--asks me, In what
circumstances do fogs occur at night? I am much obliged to him for
reminding me of the point. Fogs happen at night, when the air has
been saturated with vapour during the day. When this is the case, it
deposits some of its superabundant moisture in the form known in rural
districts--as my Hon. Friend, the Member for the Bordesley Division,
is well aware--as dew. In the Metropolis it is more familiar as fog.
This process of deposition commences as soon as the capacity of the
air for holding vapour is lessened by the coldness of advancing night.
I think I have now answered the question of my Noble Friend fully,
and, I trust, frankly. He will, I am sure, upon consideration,
see that this is not a matter with which a Royal Commission could
be expected successfully to cope, and, therefore, I may add, Her
Majesty's Government do not, after full consideration of their duty
to the QUEEN and Country, think it desirable to adopt the suggestion
thrown out by my Noble Friend."
[Illustration: Feeling his Way through the Fog.]
BRAMSTON BEACH's face during this subtle discourse a study; remained
very quiet for rest of sitting; told me at ten minutes to eleven he
thought he was beginning to grasp OLD MORALITY's meaning. "Yes," he
added, with more cheerfulness, "I'm feeling my way through the fog."
_Business done_.--STANSFELD's Franchise Resolution negatived by 291
Votes against 189.
_Thursday_.--In Lords to-night, three white figures fluttered down
gently on to red Benches, like virgin flakes of snow. But, unlike
snow, they didn't melt. On close examination, turned out to be three
new Bishops; two of them old friends, with new titles.
"Like _Bottom_, translated," BRAMWELL growls.
Dr. MAGEE, walking out Bishop of Peterborough, comes back Archbishop
of York. The ceremony of their installation not nearly so comic as
that of ordinary Peers of Parliament. Garter King-at-Arms does not
appear; nor Black Rod; nor is there any game of Follow-my-leader round
the Benches.
"No, no," said the MARKISS, who Mr. G. quite unjustly says has no
strain of reverence in his disposition, "that would never do. Must be
careful with our Bishops."
[Illustration: The Inflammable Liquor Bill.]
So the three new-comers, having paid their respects to the
LORD-CHANCELLOR, straightway took their seats on the Episcopal Bench,
folded their hands over their surpliced knees, and lent an added air
of peace and purity to the precincts.
DENMAN bustling about, weighed down with cares of State. Had promised
to bring into Lords ATKINSON's Muffin-Bell Bill, limiting duration of
Speeches. But Bill stuck in the Commons, whilst ATKINSON turned his
attention to his Dowagers Bill.
"ATKINSON's a good fellow," said DENMAN. "Have sometimes thought an
alliance between him and me, a sort of coalition between two estates
of the realm, might work great things. But I'm beginning to lose
confidence in him. At certain periods of the lunar month he's too
comprehensive in his legislative ambition. Why wasn't he content
with his Muffin-Bell Bill? Why drag in the Dowager? These Dowagers,
dear TOBY, have, if I may say so--using the phrase strictly in
Parliamentary sense--got their arms round the neck of my friend
ATKINSON, and will pull him down. It's a pity, for I think, between
us, we could have put things straight generally."
_Business done_.--Navy Estimates in Commons.
_Friday_.--PHILIPPE EGALITÉ very rarely troubles House with ordered
speech. A good deal on his mind looking after JACOBY, and keeping
the Party straight. But his silence doesn't arise from incapacity to
speak. This shown to-night in his speech on Railway Rates and Charges.
Full of good matter, admirably delivered. After this, Dr. CLARK
proposed to discuss Home Rule; but House didn't seem to care about
it particularly. So at Half-past Eight was Counted Out. This was the
chief _Business done_.
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