The following is quoted, verbatim, from an English novel entitled,
“Lady Beauty; or, Charming to Her Latest Day.” As it bears upon this
subject, and many may not have read the book, I copy some parts.
“You will find that your own enjoyment is heightened by the
consciousness of power to please others.... Let this ever be in
your mind: ‘I am a creature formed to give pleasure.’ Be courteous,
be gentle, be refined, be sweet in all your dealings. Never lose
your temper: it ruins the face; and it always leaves a disagreeable
impression which nothing rubs out. Depend upon it, men may respect
those creatures who are called women of character, which generally
means women who perform awkwardly duties which with a little thought
they might perform in a charming way: men may respect them, but when
they want enjoyment they turn to women who study the art of pleasing.
Now, what I want to teach you is, to be solid and pleasing too. Believe
me a woman is seldom called upon to do anything which she may not do in
an agreeable style if she will only take pains.... Never disarrange for
an instant the drapery of pleasantness which a woman ought always to
wear: keep it on you even for your husbands.... Be agreeable even when
you are alone with your looking-glass. Please everybody as far as you
can. Study morning, noon, and night to be agreeable.
“Don’t expect too much of men and women, and you will learn to be
good-humored over their selfishness and hypocrisy.
“Learned talk is very affected. Be as well-educated as you please, but
don’t seem so.
“She had a frank, spontaneous sympathy with life all around and in
every part, such as I never met in any one beside herself. By reason
of this virtue she was always interested in what was going on, and
the very quality which subdued her individuality in one way made her
character fresh and delightful in another. She resolved to charm others
with happiness and goodness in view, not mere society conquests.... She
used worldly methods for most unworldly means. The polish, the graces,
the social attractions, the accomplishments, literature, and wit, which
some despise, she used as the very material out of which her noble
purpose must be woven.... In the secret interior of her intentions she
was truly devoted, trying by the spell of a beautiful womanhood to
make those with whom she lived better and happier.
“‘Tell me about it,’ she whispers, oh so low, so deliciously. She
meant, ‘Anything you say will be sweet to hear.’
“Too womanly for coquetry or coyness, she gave her answer at once.
“Warmth, purity, tenderness, principle, all the finer parts of
character were hers.... Her face was beautiful because it was the image
of the soul.
“It is a good maxim: ‘Never really be angry.’
“To the opposite, her sister relied on her beauty for a place among
her sex, and was at no pains to cultivate conversation, letters, or
any branch of the art of pleasing except the setting forth of her
personal charms. Had her manner and her talk been what she might easily
have made them, she would have shone out as a beauty in the prime of
her womanhood. She had no lack of sense nor of education, either; but
proudly reposing on her incontestable loveliness, she rather withdrew
than put forward her attractions.
“I wish to convince women that it is a great mistake on their part to
suppose that their power to please departs with youth. At all times
I have noticed that men of sense seldom admire--or grow enamored
of--women for beauty alone, but for character, manner, taste, and
conversation. Now, while beauty, we must admit, lessens with time,
character, manner, taste, and conversation may each be refined and
enriched.... Mere beauty is but one bright unchanging beam: it will
even grow wearisome; but wit, sense, courtesy, and humanity are forever
casting forth new and unexpected rays and enlivening intercourse with
agreeable surprises.
“She was the best dresser I ever knew. Her appearance pleased numbers
of people before they saw her face.... She managed through all the
changes of fashion to respect herself and her own figure and face: in
the fashion she would always be; but still she would modulate it so as
to be the queen and not the slave.
“Her manners in society were captivating. With what graceful attention
she heard what you had to say. How modestly she gave her own
opinion.... She tried to please. She knew that a woman ought to be
an object of admiration and affection, and she ruled her whole life
with a view to this fact. Her religion gave a richness, a sweetness, a
seriousness to all her charms.
“You will laugh when I tell you that Lady Beauty at the age of
fifty-three had a new lover.”
“BEAUTY RULES.”
“Rule One.--A woman’s power in the world is measured by her power to
please. Whatever she will wish to accomplish, she will manage it best
by pleasing. A woman’s grand social aim should be to please.
“Rule Two.--Modesty is the ground on which all a woman’s charms appear
to the best advantage. In manner, dress, conversation, remember always
that modesty must not be forgotten.... Not prudery. Modesty is of the
soul. Prudery is on the surface.
“Rule Three.--So the woman’s aim is to please, and modesty is the first
principle.
“Rule Four.--Always dress up to your age or a little beyond it. Let
your face be the youngest thing about you, not the oldest.
“Rule Five.--Remember that what women admire in themselves is seldom
what men admire in them.
“Rule Six.--Women’s beauties are seldom men’s beauties.
“Rule Seven.--Gayety tempered by seriousness is the happiest manner in
society.
“Rule Eight.--Always speak low.
“Rule Nine.--A plain woman can never be pretty. She can always be
fascinating if she takes pains. I remember well a man who was a great
admirer of our sex telling me that one of the most fascinating women he
ever knew was not only not pretty, but as to her face decidedly plain.
‘Her figure,’ he said, ‘was neat, her dressing faultless, her every
movement graceful; her conversation was clever and animated, and she
always tried to please. She was one of the most acceptable women in
society I ever knew. She married brilliantly.
“Rule Ten.--Every year a woman lives, the more pains she must take
with her dress.
“Rule Eleven.--In all things, let a woman ask what will please a man
of sense before she asks what will please the men of fashion. You see,
if a woman lives for the commendation of men of fashion, she will, if
pretty, piquant, or what not, have a reign of ten years. But if she
remembers that she has charms of mind and character and taste, as well
as charms of figure and complexion, the men of sense will follow her
for a half century; and in the long run the men of fashion will be led
by the men of sense.
“I have often asked myself, ‘What is the secret of her character?’ and
I have always come to the same conclusion: that if her religious faith
were deducted from her, she would not be what she is, but must become a
less agreeable and not so good a woman.”