I was aroused from this stupor by sounds that evidently arose in the
next chamber. Was it possible that I had been mistaken in the figure
which I had seen on the bank? or had Carwin, by some inscrutable means,
penetrated once more into this chamber? The opposite door opened;
footsteps came forth, and the person, advancing to mine, knocked.
So unexpected an incident robbed me of all presence of mind, and,
starting up, I involuntarily exclaimed, "Who is there?" An answer was
immediately given. The voice, to my inexpressible astonishment, was
Pleyel's.
"It is I. Have you risen? If you have not, make haste; I want three
minutes conversation with you in the parlour--I will wait for you
there." Saying this he retired from the door.
Should I confide in the testimony of my ears? If that were true, it was
Pleyel that had been hitherto immured in the opposite chamber: he whom
my rueful fancy had depicted in so many ruinous and ghastly shapes: he
whose footsteps had been listened to with such inquietude! What is man,
that knowledge is so sparingly conferred upon him! that his heart should
be wrung with distress, and his frame be exanimated with fear, though
his safety be encompassed with impregnable walls! What are the bounds
of human imbecility! He that warned me of the presence of my foe refused
the intimation by which so many racking fears would have been precluded.
Yet who would have imagined the arrival of Pleyel at such an hour? His
tone was desponding and anxious. Why this unseasonable summons? and why
this hasty departure? Some tidings he, perhaps, bears of mysterious and
unwelcome import.
My impatience would not allow me to consume much time in deliberation: I
hastened down. Pleyel I found standing at a window, with eyes cast
down as in meditation, and arms folded on his breast. Every line in
his countenance was pregnant with sorrow. To this was added a certain
wanness and air of fatigue. The last time I had seen him appearances
had been the reverse of these. I was startled at the change. The first
impulse was to question him as to the cause. This impulse was supplanted
by some degree of confusion, flowing from a consciousness that love had
too large, and, as it might prove, a perceptible share in creating this
impulse. I was silent.
Presently he raised his eyes and fixed them upon me. I read in them an
anguish altogether ineffable. Never had I witnessed a like demeanour
in Pleyel. Never, indeed, had I observed an human countenance in which
grief was more legibly inscribed. He seemed struggling for utterance;
but his struggles being fruitless, he shook his head and turned away
from me.
My impatience would not allow me to be longer silent: "What," said I,
"for heaven's sake, my friend, what is the matter?"
He started at the sound of my voice. His looks, for a moment, became
convulsed with an emotion very different from grief. His accents were
broken with rage.
"The matter--O wretch!--thus exquisitely fashioned--on whom nature
seemed to have exhausted all her graces; with charms so awful and
so pure! how art thou fallen! From what height fallen! A ruin so
complete--so unheard of!"
His words were again choaked by emotion. Grief and pity were again
mingled in his features. He resumed, in a tone half suffocated by sobs:
"But why should I upbraid thee? Could I restore to thee what thou hast
lost; efface this cursed stain; snatch thee from the jaws of this fiend;
I would do it. Yet what will avail my efforts? I have not arms with
which to contend with so consummate, so frightful a depravity.
"Evidence less than this would only have excited resentment and scorn.
The wretch who should have breathed a suspicion injurious to thy honor,
would have been regarded without anger; not hatred or envy could have
prompted him; it would merely be an argument of madness. That my eyes,
that my ears, should bear witness to thy fall! By no other way could
detestible conviction be imparted.
"Why do I summon thee to this conference? Why expose myself to thy
derision? Here admonition and entreaty are vain. Thou knowest him
already, for a murderer and thief. I had thought to have been the first
to disclose to thee his infamy; to have warned thee of the pit to
which thou art hastening; but thy eyes are open in vain. O foul and
insupportable disgrace!
"There is but one path. I know you will disappear together. In thy ruin,
how will the felicity and honor of multitudes be involved! But it must
come. This scene shall not be blotted by his presence. No doubt thou
wilt shortly see thy detested paramour. This scene will be again
polluted by a midnight assignation. Inform him of his danger; tell him
that his crimes are known; let him fly far and instantly from this spot,
if he desires to avoid the fate which menaced him in Ireland.
"And wilt thou not stay behind?--But shame upon my weakness. I know
not what I would say.--I have done what I purposed. To stay longer, to
expostulate, to beseech, to enumerate the consequences of thy act--what
end can it serve but to blazon thy infamy and embitter our woes? And
yet, O think, think ere it be too late, on the distresses which thy
flight will entail upon us; on the base, grovelling, and atrocious
character of the wretch to whom thou hast sold thy honor. But what
is this? Is not thy effrontery impenetrable, and thy heart thoroughly
cankered? O most specious, and most profligate of women!"
Saying this, he rushed out of the house. I saw him in a few moments
hurrying along the path which led to my brother's. I had no power to
prevent his going, or to recall, or to follow him. The accents I had
heard were calculated to confound and bewilder. I looked around me to
assure myself that the scene was real. I moved that I might banish the
doubt that I was awake. Such enormous imputations from the mouth of
Pleyel! To be stigmatized with the names of wanton and profligate! To
be charged with the sacrifice of honor! with midnight meetings with a
wretch known to be a murderer and thief! with an intention to fly in his
company!
What I had heard was surely the dictate of phrenzy, or it was built
upon some fatal, some incomprehensible mistake. After the horrors of the
night; after undergoing perils so imminent from this man, to be summoned
to an interview like this; to find Pleyel fraught with a belief that,
instead of having chosen death as a refuge from the violence of this
man, I had hugged his baseness to my heart, had sacrificed for him my
purity, my spotless name, my friendships, and my fortune! that even
madness could engender accusations like these was not to be believed.
What evidence could possibly suggest conceptions so wild? After the
unlooked-for interview with Carwin in my chamber, he retired. Could
Pleyel have observed his exit? It was not long after that Pleyel himself
entered. Did he build on this incident, his odious conclusions? Could
the long series of my actions and sentiments grant me no exemption from
suspicions so foul? Was it not more rational to infer that Carwin's
designs had been illicit; that my life had been endangered by the fury
of one whom, by some means, he had discovered to be an assassin and
robber; that my honor had been assailed, not by blandishments, but by
violence?
He has judged me without hearing. He has drawn from dubious appearances,
conclusions the most improbable and unjust. He has loaded me with all
outrageous epithets. He has ranked me with prostitutes and thieves. I
cannot pardon thee, Pleyel, for this injustice. Thy understanding must
be hurt. If it be not, if thy conduct was sober and deliberate, I can
never forgive an outrage so unmanly, and so gross.
These thoughts gradually gave place to others. Pleyel was possessed by
some momentary phrenzy: appearances had led him into palpable errors.
Whence could his sagacity have contracted this blindness? Was it not
love? Previously assured of my affection for Carwin, distracted with
grief and jealousy, and impelled hither at that late hour by some
unknown instigation, his imagination transformed shadows into monsters,
and plunged him into these deplorable errors.
This idea was not unattended with consolation. My soul was divided
between indignation at his injustice, and delight on account of the
source from which I conceived it to spring. For a long time they would
allow admission to no other thoughts. Surprize is an emotion that
enfeebles, not invigorates. All my meditations were accompanied
with wonder. I rambled with vagueness, or clung to one image with an
obstinacy which sufficiently testified the maddening influence of late
transactions.
Gradually I proceeded to reflect upon the consequences of Pleyel's
mistake, and on the measures I should take to guard myself against
future injury from Carwin. Should I suffer this mistake to be detected
by time? When his passion should subside, would he not perceive the
flagrancy of his injustice, and hasten to atone for it? Did it not
become my character to testify resentment for language and treatment so
opprobrious? Wrapt up in the consciousness of innocence, and confiding
in the influence of time and reflection to confute so groundless a
charge, it was my province to be passive and silent.
As to the violences meditated by Carwin, and the means of eluding them,
the path to be taken by me was obvious. I resolved to tell the tale to
my brother, and regulate myself by his advice. For this end, when the
morning was somewhat advanced, I took the way to his house. My sister
was engaged in her customary occupations. As soon as I appeared, she
remarked a change in my looks. I was not willing to alarm her by the
information which I had to communicate. Her health was in that condition
which rendered a disastrous tale particularly unsuitable. I forbore a
direct answer to her inquiries, and inquired, in my turn, for Wieland.
"Why," said she, "I suspect something mysterious and unpleasant has
happened this morning. Scarcely had we risen when Pleyel dropped among
us. What could have prompted him to make us so early and so unseasonable
a visit I cannot tell. To judge from the disorder of his dress, and
his countenance, something of an extraordinary nature has occurred. He
permitted me merely to know that he had slept none, nor even undressed,
during the past night. He took your brother to walk with him. Some
topic must have deeply engaged them, for Wieland did not return till
the breakfast hour was passed, and returned alone. His disturbance was
excessive; but he would not listen to my importunities, or tell me
what had happened. I gathered from hints which he let fall, that your
situation was, in some way, the cause: yet he assured me that you were
at your own house, alive, in good health, and in perfect safety. He
scarcely ate a morsel, and immediately after breakfast went out again.
He would not inform me whither he was going, but mentioned that he
probably might not return before night."
I was equally astonished and alarmed by this information. Pleyel had
told his tale to my brother, and had, by a plausible and exaggerated
picture, instilled into him unfavorable thoughts of me. Yet would not
the more correct judgment of Wieland perceive and expose the fallacy of
his conclusions? Perhaps his uneasiness might arise from some insight
into the character of Carwin, and from apprehensions for my safety. The
appearances by which Pleyel had been misled, might induce him likewise
to believe that I entertained an indiscreet, though not dishonorable
affection for Carwin. Such were the conjectures rapidly formed. I was
inexpressibly anxious to change them into certainty. For this end
an interview with my brother was desirable. He was gone, no one knew
whither, and was not expected speedily to return. I had no clue by which
to trace his footsteps.
My anxieties could not be concealed from my sister. They heightened
her solicitude to be acquainted with the cause. There were many reasons
persuading me to silence: at least, till I had seen my brother, it would
be an act of inexcusable temerity to unfold what had lately passed. No
other expedient for eluding her importunities occurred to me, but that
of returning to my own house. I recollected my determination to become a
tenant of this roof. I mentioned it to her. She joyfully acceded to this
proposal, and suffered me, with less reluctance, to depart, when I told
her that it was with a view to collect and send to my new dwelling what
articles would be immediately useful to me.
Once more I returned to the house which had been the scene of so
much turbulence and danger. I was at no great distance from it when
I observed my brother coming out. On seeing me he stopped, and after
ascertaining, as it seemed, which way I was going, he returned into the
house before me. I sincerely rejoiced at this event, and I hastened to
set things, if possible, on their right footing.
His brow was by no means expressive of those vehement emotions with
which Pleyel had been agitated. I drew a favorable omen from this
circumstance. Without delay I began the conversation.
"I have been to look for you," said I, "but was told by Catharine that
Pleyel had engaged you on some important and disagreeable affair. Before
his interview with you he spent a few minutes with me. These minutes he
employed in upbraiding me for crimes and intentions with which I am by
no means chargeable. I believe him to have taken up his opinions on
very insufficient grounds. His behaviour was in the highest degree
precipitate and unjust, and, until I receive some atonement, I shall
treat him, in my turn, with that contempt which he justly merits:
meanwhile I am fearful that he has prejudiced my brother against me.
That is an evil which I most anxiously deprecate, and which I shall
indeed exert myself to remove. Has he made me the subject of this
morning's conversation?"
My brother's countenance testified no surprize at my address. The
benignity of his looks were no wise diminished.
"It is true," said he, "your conduct was the subject of our discourse. I
am your friend, as well as your brother. There is no human being whom I
love with more tenderness, and whose welfare is nearer my heart. Judge
then with what emotions I listened to Pleyel's story. I expect and
desire you to vindicate yourself from aspersions so foul, if vindication
be possible."
The tone with which he uttered the last words affected me deeply. "If
vindication be possible!" repeated I. "From what you know, do you deem a
formal vindication necessary? Can you harbour for a moment the belief of
my guilt?"
He shook his head with an air of acute anguish. "I have struggled," said
he, "to dismiss that belief. You speak before a judge who will profit by
any pretence to acquit you: who is ready to question his own senses when
they plead against you."
These words incited a new set of thoughts in my mind. I began to suspect
that Pleyel had built his accusations on some foundation unknown to me.
"I may be a stranger to the grounds of your belief. Pleyel loaded me
with indecent and virulent invectives, but he withheld from me the facts
that generated his suspicions. Events took place last night of which
some of the circumstances were of an ambiguous nature. I conceived that
these might possibly have fallen under his cognizance, and that, viewed
through the mists of prejudice and passion, they supplied a pretence
for his conduct, but believed that your more unbiassed judgment would
estimate them at their just value. Perhaps his tale has been different
from what I suspect it to be. Listen then to my narrative. If there be
any thing in his story inconsistent with mine, his story is false."
I then proceeded to a circumstantial relation of the incidents of the
last night. Wieland listened with deep attention. Having finished,
"This," continued I, "is the truth; you see in what circumstances an
interview took place between Carwin and me. He remained for hours in my
closet, and for some minutes in my chamber. He departed without haste or
interruption. If Pleyel marked him as he left the house, and it is
not impossible that he did, inferences injurious to my character might
suggest themselves to him. In admitting them, he gave proofs of less
discernment and less candor than I once ascribed to him."
"His proofs," said Wieland, after a considerable pause, "are different.
That he should be deceived, is not possible. That he himself is not the
deceiver, could not be believed, if his testimony were not inconsistent
with yours; but the doubts which I entertained are now removed. Your
tale, some parts of it, is marvellous; the voice which exclaimed against
your rashness in approaching the closet, your persisting notwithstanding
that prohibition, your belief that I was the ruffian, and your
subsequent conduct, are believed by me, because I have known you from
childhood, because a thousand instances have attested your veracity, and
because nothing less than my own hearing and vision would convince me,
in opposition to her own assertions, that my sister had fallen into
wickedness like this."
I threw my arms around him, and bathed his cheek with my tears. "That,"
said I, "is spoken like my brother. But what are the proofs?"
He replied--"Pleyel informed me that, in going to your house, his
attention was attracted by two voices. The persons speaking sat beneath
the bank out of sight. These persons, judging by their voices, were
Carwin and you. I will not repeat the dialogue. If my sister was the
female, Pleyel was justified in concluding you to be, indeed, one of the
most profligate of women. Hence, his accusations of you, and his efforts
to obtain my concurrence to a plan by which an eternal separation should
be brought about between my sister and this man."
I made Wieland repeat this recital. Here, indeed, was a tale to fill me
with terrible foreboding. I had vainly thought that my safety could be
sufficiently secured by doors and bars, but this is a foe from whose
grasp no power of divinity can save me! His artifices will ever lay my
fame and happiness at his mercy. How shall I counterwork his plots, or
detect his coadjutor? He has taught some vile and abandoned female to
mimic my voice. Pleyel's ears were the witnesses of my dishonor. This
is the midnight assignation to which he alluded. Thus is the silence
he maintained when attempting to open the door of my chamber, accounted
for. He supposed me absent, and meant, perhaps, had my apartment been
accessible, to leave in it some accusing memorial.
Pleyel was no longer equally culpable. The sincerity of his anguish, the
depth of his despair, I remembered with some tendencies to gratitude.
Yet was he not precipitate? Was the conjecture that my part was played
by some mimic so utterly untenable? Instances of this faculty are
common. The wickedness of Carwin must, in his opinion, have been
adequate to such contrivances, and yet the supposition of my guilt was
adopted in preference to that.
But how was this error to be unveiled? What but my own assertion had I
to throw in the balance against it? Would this be permitted to outweigh
the testimony of his senses? I had no witnesses to prove my existence
in another place. The real events of that night are marvellous. Few, to
whom they should be related, would scruple to discredit them. Pleyel is
sceptical in a transcendant degree. I cannot summon Carwin to my bar,
and make him the attestor of my innocence, and the accuser of himself.
My brother saw and comprehended my distress. He was unacquainted,
however, with the full extent of it. He knew not by how many motives
I was incited to retrieve the good opinion of Pleyel. He endeavored
to console me. Some new event, he said, would occur to disentangle the
maze. He did not question the influence of my eloquence, if I thought
proper to exert it. Why not seek an interview with Pleyel, and exact
from him a minute relation, in which something may be met with serving
to destroy the probability of the whole?
I caught, with eagerness, at this hope; but my alacrity was damped by
new reflections. Should I, perfect in this respect, and unblemished as
I was, thrust myself, uncalled, into his presence, and make my felicity
depend upon his arbitrary verdict?
"If you chuse to seek an interview," continued Wieland, "you must make
haste, for Pleyel informed me of his intention to set out this evening
or to-morrow on a long journey."
No intelligence was less expected or less welcome than this. I had
thrown myself in a window seat; but now, starting on my feet, I
exclaimed, "Good heavens! what is it you say? a journey? whither? when?"
"I cannot say whither. It is a sudden resolution I believe. I did not
hear of it till this morning. He promises to write to me as soon as he
is settled."
I needed no further information as to the cause and issue of this
journey. The scheme of happiness to which he had devoted his thoughts
was blasted by the discovery of last night. My preference of another,
and my unworthiness to be any longer the object of his adoration, were
evinced by the same act and in the same moment. The thought of utter
desertion, a desertion originating in such a cause, was the prelude to
distraction. That Pleyel should abandon me forever, because I was blind
to his excellence, because I coveted pollution, and wedded infamy, when,
on the contrary, my heart was the shrine of all purity, and beat only
for his sake, was a destiny which, as long as my life was in my own
hands, I would by no means consent to endure.
I remembered that this evil was still preventable; that this fatal
journey it was still in my power to procrastinate, or, perhaps, to
occasion it to be laid aside. There were no impediments to a visit: I
only dreaded lest the interview should be too long delayed. My brother
befriended my impatience, and readily consented to furnish me with a
chaise and servant to attend me. My purpose was to go immediately to
Pleyel's farm, where his engagements usually detained him during the
day.