We had long been aware that the potentates of the _Guinea coast_ not only
assume English titles, but wear under, or in place of, diadems, the
cast-off wigs of our Lord Chancellors--but we were not prepared for what
follows in the latitude of the Mozambique Channel, as related by Captain
Basil Hall.
"We proceeded to our guide's house, where he introduced us, not indeed to
his wives, for all these ladies were stowed away behind a screen of mats,
but to some of the males of his family, and, amongst others, to a queer
copper-coloured gentleman, who styled himself, in his communications with
us, 'the Duke of Devonshire,' and begged very hard to be allowed the
honour of having our linen to wash. His Grace was a little dumpy fellow,
who stooped considerably, wore neither shoes nor stockings, and exhibited
so little of a nose, that when you caught his countenance in profile, the
facial line, as the physiognomists call it, suffered no interruption when
drawn from the brow to the lips. The poor Duke little knew the cause of
the laughter which his occupation, title, and the contrast of looks,
excited in those of our party who had seen his grace's noble namesake in
the opposite hemisphere."
"Most of the natives of Johanna, even the negro slaves, talk a little
English; but the best examples of such acquirements were found, where they
ought to be, amongst the grandees of the island. The following is a fair
specimen of the conversation of the dukes and earls at the capital of the
Comoros.--'How do you do, sir? Very glad see you. D--n your eyes! Johanna
man like English very much. God d--n! That very good? Eh? Devilish hot,
sir! What news? Hope your ship stay too long while, very. D--n my eye!
Very fine day.' After which, in a sort of whisper, accompanied by a most
insinuating smile, his lordship, or his grace, as the rank of the party
might be, would add:--'You want orange? You want goat? Cheap! I got good,
very. You send me you clothes; I wash with my own hand--clean! fine! very!
I got every thing, plenty, great, much! God d--n!' And then, as if to
clench the favourable opinion which these eloquent appeals had made, the
speaker was sure to produce a handful of certificates from mates of
Indiamen, masters of Yankee brigs, and middies of men-of-war; some written
in solemn earnest, some quizzically, but all declaring his lordship, the
bearer, to be a pretty good washerman, but the sort of person not to be
trusted far out of sight, as he would certainly walk off with your
clothes-bag if he could safely do so."--_Autobiography, Second Series_.
* * * * *
_Bed of Leaves_.--In some countries the leaves of the beech tree are
collected in autumn, before they have been injured by the frost, and are
used instead of feathers for beds; and mattresses formed of them are said
to be preferable to those either of straw or chaff.
* * * * *
_Pure Style_.--Cardinal Bembo was so rigorous with regard to purity of
style, that he is said to have had forty different partitions, through
which his writings, as he polished them by degrees, successively passed;
nor did he publish them till they had sustained these forty examinations.
How would the cardinal have acted with the editorship of a daily newspaper.
* * * * *
_To lie at the Pool of Bethesda_ is used proverbially in Germany, in
speaking of the theological candidates who are waiting for a benefice.
* * * * *
_Court Pun_.--The witty Marquess de Bièvre was asked by Louis XV. for a
pun. "Give me a subject, sire,'" said B. "Make it on myself," said Louis.
"Sire, the king is not a subject," was the pleasant reply.
* * * * *
_History_.--The first page of Thucydides is, in my opinion, the
commencement of real history. All preceding narrations are so intermixed
with fable, that philosophers ought to abandon them in a great measure, to
the embellishment of the poet and orator.--_Hume_.
* * * * *
_Old Squibs_.--Richard Bentley and Charles Boyle (Earl of Orrery,) had a
warm dispute relative to the genuineness of the Greek Epistles of Phalaris,
an edition of which was published by the latter. Bentley was victorious,
though he was kept in hot water with the critics and wits of the age. Dr.
Garth assailed him thus:
So diamonds owe a lustre to their foil,
And to a _Bentley_ 'tis we owe a _Boyle_.
Conyers Middleton was a sad thorn in Bentley's side, from the latter
having called the former, when a young student in the university,
_fiddling_ Conyers, because he played on the violin. A punning caricature
represented B. about to be thrust into the brazen bull of Phalaris, and
exclaiming, "I had rather be _roasted_ than _Boyled_."
* * * * *
_Hip, Hip, Hurra!_--During the stirring times of the Crusades, the
chivalry of Europe was excited to arms by the inflammatory appeals of the
well-known Peter the Hermit. While preaching the Crusade, this furious
zealot was accustomed to exhibit a banner emblazoned with the following
letters, H.E.P., the initials of the Latin words, _"Hierosolyma Est
Perdita_," Jerusalem is destroyed. The people in some of the countries
which he visited, not being acquainted with the Latin, read and pronounced
the inscription as if one word--HEP. The followers of the Hermit were
accustomed, whenever an unfortunate Jew appeared in the streets, to raise
the cry, "Hep, hep, hurra," to hunt him down, and flash upon the
defenceless Israelite their maiden swords, before they essayed their
temper with the scimetar of the Saracen.--_Tatler_.
* * * * *
_Wool-gathering_.--A very patriotic landlord, Squire Henry, of Straffan,
county of Kildare, had hit on an expedient to benefit the wool-growers in
general, and his numerous tenantry in particular. Knowing that market
value is in the direct ratio of demand and scarcity, he annually buried
the wool shorn from _his own_ sheep, lest it might interfere with the
profitable sale of his tenants' fleeces. But, alas! this generous system
of self-sacrifice did not "work well." The result was--though Squire Henry
never suspected the existence of such turpitude in the human heart--the
ungrateful tenantry dug up by night what he buried by day, wool never rose
in price, and they never were able to pay up their arrears of
rent.--_Fraser's Magazine_.
* * * * *
One day, a physician alighted from his carriage, and entering the shop of
a medical bookseller, inquired of its sleek-faced master, "whether he had
a copy of Heberden's _Commentaries_?" "No, sir," replied the man of
letters, "but we have Caesar's _Commentaries_, and they are by far the
best."--_Metropolitan_.
* * * * *
_Mortality in the reign of William IV_.--Since the accession of King
William not less, we are told, than _twenty-four_ generals and
_twenty-six_ admirals, have found their way into Westminster Abbey, or
elsewhere. Considering that his majesty continues to receive the most
friendly assurances from all foreign powers, this attack upon the army and
navy list is rather prodigious. Napoleon himself could scarcely have made
greater gaps in the United Service Club in the time. To be sure they were
not all Nelsons and Marlboroughs, or we should have marked them as they
dropped off; whereas one can hardly name, five of the fifty great warriors.
--_Ibid_.
* * * * *
_Origin of Black Monday_.--Black Monday--Easter Monday, in the year 1359,
when hail stones killed both men and horses in the army of our King Edward
the Third, in France. He was on his march, within two leagues of Chartres,
when there happened a storm of piercing wind, that swelled to a tempest of
rain, lightning, and hail stones, so prodigious, as instantly to kill
6,000 of his horses, and 1,000 of his best troops. P.T.W.
* * * * *
*** MR. HAYDON'S Exhibition in our next.
* * * * *
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